The High-Conflict Couple: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy

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ReadHowYouWant.com, 2009 - Family & Relationships - 308 pages
You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples-pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame-need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a 'high-conflict' couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship. The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.
 

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Contents

Understanding Emotion in Relationships
2
Accepting Yourself and Your Partner
23
How to Stop Making Things Worse
45
Being Together When You Are Together
61
Reactivating Your Relationship
87
PRACTICE
93
PRACTICE
96
PRACTICE
97
PRACTICE
130
PRACTICE
137
PRACTICE
143
Validating Responses What to Validate and Why
145
Back to the Couple TwoStep
146
What Is Valid and How Is It Valid?
156
PRACTICE
165
Validating Responses How to Validate Your Partner
167

PRACTICE
103
Enjoying Time Apart and Sharing Your Experiences
104
PRACTICE
106
Doing Things for Each Other Without Strings Attached
107
PRACTICE
109
Accurate Expression
110
Before You Open Your Mouth
112
PRACTICE
116
Know What You Want and Feel or That You Dont Know
117
What Is Inaccurate Expression?
118
PRACTICE
125
PRACTICE
169
PRACTICE
172
PRACTICE
177
PRACTICE
182
PRACTICE
184
PRACTICE
186
Recovering from Invalidation
198
Managing Problems and Negotiating Solutions
224
Transforming Conflict into Closeness What Is Suffering? The Problem of
249
References
277
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