The Little Book of Management Bollocks
Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his previous books, where he first took on the self-help craze then New Labour's addiction to spin, Alistair Beaton now tackles the management gurus. Read this book and you will be transformed overnight into a successful modern manager, capable of talking authentic management bollocks at any hour of the day or night, because, let's face it, talking bollocks is what modern management is all about. Below are a few of the gems contained within THE LITTLE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT BOLLOCKS... RISK MANAGEMENT Improve risk management outcomes by never investing in anything. INSPIRING OTHERS As a manager, it's your job to inspire others. If there's nothing inspiring about you, just use fear instead.
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ACRONYMS ALISTAIR BEATON APPRAISAL MEETINGS ask a subordinate asset asshole BAD MANAGER SAYS banning the word Benchmarking CAREER SETBACK CHALLENGE clearly and boldly consultants core competencies core values CORPORATE IDENTITY criticise delegate Downsize emotional intelligence emotional leakage empathy employees really need enhanced EXECUTIVE RETREATS feel FIVE WHYS Fuck GLOBAL ACCOUNT MANAGEMENT illegal or unethical IMPORTANCE OF HUMOUR INFORMATION OVERLOAD INVESTMENT OUTCOMES job security look clearly lunch MANAGERS ASK Q micromanaging MILESTONE EVENTING MISSION STATEMENT mistakes modern marketplace MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS multicultural competence negative outcome NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS organisation performance indicators personal endeavour pinnacle of human Playfulness and humour positive thinking Promote mediocre QUALITY FEEDBACK QUESTIONS MANAGERS ASK s/he SELF-ACTUALISATION self-destructive behaviour Self-realisation SEXUAL HARASSMENT smile someone staff STRESS MANAGEMENT subordinate for suggestions success sure synergy team members teamwork tell tell yourself you've time-log transformational leader under-used tool video-conferencing wear workplace worst case scenario wrong decision