Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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Penguin, 2003 - Psychology - 408 pages
35 Reviews
"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control."
"He can be sweet and gentle."
"He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father."
"He's had a really hard life..."

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

€ The early warning signs
€ Nine abusive personality types
€ How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
€ The role of drugs and alcohol
€ What can be fixed, and what can't
€ How to leave a relationship safely
 

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User Review  - jen.e.moore - LibraryThing

I've been fortunate enough never to have to deal with partner abuse in my life or the life of anyone close to me, but this is a fascinating, revealing book anyway. I was continually struck by Bancroft ... Read full review

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - rivkat - LibraryThing

Abuse is about entitlement, not anger. It results from misogynistic attitudes, not emotions. As a result, conventional therapy directed at understanding emotions won’t work and may be ... Read full review

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Contents

Acknowledgments
ix
Introduction
xvii
The Nature of Abusive Thinking
xxv
The Mythology
21
The Abusive Mentality
49
The Types of Abusive Men
76
The Abusive Man in Relationships
107
The Abusive Man in Everyday Life
136
The Abusive Man in the World
233
Abusive Men and Their Allies
273
The Abusive Man and the Legal System
291
The Making of an Abusive Man
317
The Process of Change
334
Creating an Abusefree World
367
Resources
391
Index
401

PART III
218

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About the author (2003)

Lundy Bancroft has spent the last fifteen years of his career specializing in domestic abuse and the behavior of abusive men and is considered one of the world's experts on the subject. He is the author of journal articles on abuse that have appeared in The New England Journal of Medicine and The Journal of Contemporary Psychology. The former codirector at Emerge, the nation's first program for abusive men, Bancroft now practices in Massachusetts while training various state and judicial agencies in dealing with domestic abuse situations.

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