Mrs. Har. I break your heart, sir?- me Mrs. Har. You amaze me, I sir! pray, how can Mrs. Har. Must it?-to be sure it must! Cle. While it is divided, while another has [ Cle. And you can seem unconscious of the possession of but part of itmischief you have made Mrs. Har. Pray unriddle, sir Cle. Madam, your sister has told me all- sir? Cle. It may be sport to you—but, to me, 'tis death Mrs. Har. What is death? Cle. The gentleman from India, madam-I have heard it all-you can give him the preference you can blast my hopes--my fond delighted hopes, which you yourself have cherished. Mrs. Har. The gentleman is a very good sort of man. Mrs. Har. I don't understand him !—Why, it has been given away long ago. Cle. I pray you do not tyrannize me thus with alternate doubts and fears-if you will but bless me with the least kind return Mrs. Har. Kind return! what, would you have me fall in love with you? Cle. It will be generous to him, who adores you. Mrs. Har. Adores me! Cle. Even to idolatory. Mrs. Har. What can he mean? I thought my sister was the object of your adoration. Cle. Your sister, madam! I shall ever respect her as my friend on this occasion; but love-no Cle. Oh! she loves him, I see- [Aside.]--no-she is no object for thatMadam, I perceive my doom is fixed, and fixed Mrs. Har. No! by you Cle. She may have been handsome in her Mrs. Har. How have I fixed your doom?-time, but that has been all over long agoif I speak favourable of Captain Cape, he deserves it, sir. Cle. Oh! heavens! I cannot bear this [Aside. Mrs. Har. I believe there is nobody that knows the gentleman, but will give him his due praise [Aside. Cle. Love, love, love! Mrs. Har. And, besides, his claim is in fact prior to yours. Cle. And must love be governed, like the business of mechanics, by the laws of tyrant custom?-Can think you so, madam? Mrs. Har. Why, sir, you know I am not in love. Cle. Oh! cruel!-no, madam, I see you are not. Mrs. Har. And really now, sir, reasonably speaking, my sister is for treating Captain Cape very ill-He has been dancing attendance here these three years Cle. Yet, that you knew, when you were pleased to fan the rising flame, that matchless beauty had kindled in my heart. Mrs. Har. Matchless beauty!-ha, ha!-I cannot but laugh at that [Aside. Cle. Laugh, madam, if you will, at the pangs you yourself occasion-yes, triumph, if you will -I am resigned to my fate, since you will have Mrs. Har. Well! this is charming! I wish she heard him now, with her new-fangled airs, [Aside.] But let me understand you, sir; adore me! Cle. You, you! and only you! by this fair [Kisses it. Mrs. Har. Hold, hold! this is going too far; but pray, sir, have you really conceived a passion for me? Cle. You know I have; a passion of the tenderest nature. Mrs. Har. And was that your drift in coming hither? Cle. What else could induce me? Mrs. Har. And introduced yourself here, to have an opportunity of speaking to me? Cle. My angel! don't torment me thusMrs. Har. Angel! and pray, sir, what do you suppose Mr. Harlow will say to this? Cle. Oh! madam-he! he approves my pas sion. Mrs. Har. Does he really? I must speak to him about that Cle. Do so, madam, you will find I am a man of more honour than to deceive you Mrs. Har. Well! it will be whimsical if he does; and my sister, too; this will be a charming discovery for her! [Aside.] Ha, ha! well! really sir, this is mighty odd; I'll speak to Mr Harlow about this matter this very moment [Going. Cle. Oh! you will find it all true and may I then flatter myself Mrs. Har. Oh! to be sure-such an honourable project-I'll step to him this moment-and then, sister, I shall make such a piece of work for you[Exit. Gle. Very well, madam-see Mr. Harlow immediately-he will confirm it to you-while Cle. She has given me some glimmering of hope. Miss Har. Well, don't be uneasy about her -it shall be as I please Cle. But with her own free consent it would be better-however, to you I am bound by every tie, and thus let me seal a vow——— [Kisses her hand. Miss Har. He certainly is a very passionate lover. Lord! he is ready to eat my hand up with kisses; I wish my sister saw this-[Aside.] Hush! I hear Captain Cape's voice-the hideous tramontane !-he is coming this way-I would not see him again for the world-I'll withdraw a moment, sir-you'll excuse me, Mr. Clerimont; [Kisses her hand, and curtsies very low.] your servant, sir-Oh! he is a charming man. [Curtsies, and exit. Enter CAPTAIN CAPE. Capt. Cape. There she goes, the perfidious! Capt. Cape. Then, sir, draw this moment. Capt. Cape. The cause is too plain-your making love to that lady, who went out there this moment Cle. That lady! not I, upon my honour, sir. Capt. Cape. No shuffling, sir, drawCle. Sir, I can repel an injury like this-but your quarrel is groundless-and, sir, if ever I made love to that lady, I will lay my bosom naked to your sword. That lady!—I resign all manner of pretension to her Capt. Cape. You resign her, sir? Capt. Cape. Then I am pacified [Puts up his sword. Cle. Upon my word, sir, I never so much as thought of the lady. Cle. This is the strangest accident!—I assure you, sir-only give me leave- Mr. Har. I will not give you leave-I in sist- Capt. Cape. Nay, nay, Mr. Harlow-this is neither time or place--and besides, hear the gentleman; I have been over hasty, and he has satisfied me-only hear him Mr. Har. Sir, I will believe my own wifecome on, sir. Cle. I assure you, Mr. Harlow, I came into this house upon honourable principles-induced, sir, by my regard for Miss Harlow. Capt. Cape. For Miss Harlow !—zounds, draw! Cle. Again! this is downright madness; two upon me at once! you will murder me between you. Mr. Har. There is one too many upon him, sure enough; and so, Captain, put up. Capt. Cape. Resign your pretensions to Miss Harlow. Cle. Resign Miss Harlow! not for the universe! in her cause, I can be as ready as any bravo of ye all. [Draws his sword. Mr. Har. For Heaven's sake? Captain Cape! do moderate your anger-this is neither time or place-I have been too rash myself—I beg you will be pacified-[He puts up.]-Mr. Cherimont, sheath your sword. Cle. I obey, sir. Mr. Har. Captain Cape, how can you? You promised me you would let things take their course; if my sister will marry the gentleman, how is he to blame? Capt. Cape. Very well, sir; I have done; she is a worthless woman, that's all. Cle. A worthless woman, sir! Mr. Har. Nay, nay, Mr. Clerimont, you are too warm; and there's a gentleman coming—this is your uncle, I suppose ? Cle. It is. Enter MR. HEartwell. Mr. Har. I'll wave all disputes, now, that I may conclude my sister's marriage. [Aside. Čle. Mr. Heartwell, sir-Mr. Harlow, sir. Heart. My nephew has informed me, sir, of the honour you have done him, and I am come to give my consent. Mr. Har. I thought it necessary, sir, to have the advice of Mr. Clerimont's friends, as he is very young, and my sister not very handsome. Cle. She is an angel, sir! Heart. Patience, Charles, patience. My nephew's estate will provide for his eldest born; Mr. Har. You have been attempting my wife, and upon the younger branches of his marriage, I find Cle. Upon my word, Mr. Harlow Mr. Har. You have behaved in a very base manner, and I insist upon satisfaction; draw, I mean to settle my fortune. Mr. Har. Generously spoken, sir; and so there is no occasion for delay; who waits there? tell the ladies they are wanting Heart. I have ever loved my nephew, and since he tells me he has made a good choice, I shall be glad to see him happy. Capt. Cape. But, sir, let me tell you, that your nephew has used me very basely, and, sir Mr. Hur. Nay, nay, Captain, this is wrong, now; every thing was settled between us in the other room; recollect yourself; do, I beg you will-Oh, bere come the ladies. Enter MRS. and MISS HARLow. Miss Hur. Now, sister, you shall see I have completed my conquest Cle. Now, then, I am happy indeed; my lovely, charming bride, thus let me snatch you to my heart, and thus, and thusMr. Har. Zounds Embraces MRS. HARLOW. Before my face![Pushing him away. Cle. Pr'ythee, indulge my transport; my life, my angel! Mr. Har. I desire you will desist, sirCle. Nay, nay; pr'ythee, be quiet-my charming, charming wife? Mr. Har. That lady is not your wife- and bliss! Mr. Har. Come, come, sir- -this is too much Mr. Har. I say, sir, that lady is my wife! Capt. Cape. Ha, ha! I see through this-it is a comedy of errors, I believe ! Heart. What does all this mean? [Sings. Mr. Har. She is, sir. Heart. And pray, nephew, you took that lady for Mr. Harlow's sister, I suppose? Cle. I did, sir. I beg pardon for the trouble I have given; I am in such confusion, I can hardly Heart. Well, well, the thing is cleared up, and there is no harm done; but you should have known what ground you went upon-ha, ha! I can't help laughing, neither. Mr. Har. Why, faith, nor I; ha, ha! Cle. Since matters have turned so unexpectedly, I beg pardon for my mistake, and, sir, I take my leave. [Going. Miss Har. And will you treat me in this manner, sir? Will you draw me into such a scrape, and not Cle. Madam, that gentleman would cut my throat his claim is prior to mine- and, I dare say, he will be very glad to be reconciled, madam. Miss Har. You are a base man, then, and I reject you; Captain Cape, I see my error, sir, and I resign myself to you. Capt. Cape. No, madam, I beg to be excused! I have been a dangler too long; I ought to have been a brisker lover; I shall endeavour to survive it, madam-I won't do myself a mischief Mr. Har. Yes, my wife; and there is my sis- and I have my answer-I am off, madam--loll ter, if you please to take her. toll loll! Mrs. Har. Ha, ha! I told you this, my dear Cle. Sir! Cle. Who, I, sir? I beg your pardon; that Ha, ha, ha ! Miss Har. Lord! lord! have I been made a fool of all this time! furies! torture! murder! Capt. Cape. Ha, ha! my lady fair is taken in, I think. Mrs. Har. Sister, the men don't see with my eyes-ba, ha! Capt. Cape. Ha, ha! the gentleman is no dangler, madam. Mrs. Har. This is a complete conquest my sister has made Miss Har. I can't bear this!—Sir, I desire I may not be made a jest of; did not you solicit me? importune me? Cle. For your interest in that lady, madam, whom I took for Miss Harlow; I beg your pardon if I am mistaken; I hope there is no harm done. Cle. Madam, I dare say, the gentleman will think better of it: Mr. Harlow, I am sorry for all this confusion, and I beg pardon of the whole company for my mistake-Mrs. Harlow, I wish you all happiness, madam-angelic creature! what a misfortune to lose her! [Bows, and exit. Capt. Cape. And I will follow his example; Miss Harlow, I wish you all happiness-angelic creature! what a misfortune to lose her! upon my soul, I think you a most admirable jilt, and so now you may go and bewail your virginity in the mountains-loll toll loll! Heart. Sir, my nephew is young-I am sorry for this scene of errors, and I hope you will ascribe the whole to his inexperience. Mr. Hur. I certainly shall, sir. Mrs. Har. I cautioned my sister sufficiently about this matter; but vanity got the better of her, and leaves her now a whimsical instance of folly and affectation. In vain the faded Toast her mirror tries, She proves a subject of the comic strain. [Exeunt omnes. Will. She is, sir. Wild. How long has my father been gone out? Will. This hour, sir. Wild. Very well. Pray, give Mr. Beaufort's compliments to my sister, and he is come to wait upon her. [Exit WILL.] You will be glad to see her, I suppose, Charles? Beau. I live but in her presence! Wild. Live but in her presence! How the devil could the young baggage raise this riot in your heart? 'Tis more than her brother could ever do with any of her sex. Beau, Nay, you have no reason to complain; you are come up to town, post-haste, to marry a wealthy citizen's daughter, who only saw you last season at Tunbridge, and has been languishing for you ever since. |