Mr. Courl. Worlace? Incredible--(aside) Yet it may be,

May be?

-It is; and I will overreach him!

(after a pause) Worlace was wont to ask for Mervin's

daughter,

None could extort the motive of his question;
Besides, he seem'd too poor to bear a fortune,
The only key that opens to my

soul!

[exit

Moonshine. He leaves us in a fit of furious anger. Inference. To me his last fit seem'd joy's paroxysm; But whether it were joy or rage that mov'd him, It was a blustering tempest of the brain:

My ratiocination can do much,

And yet it only made him rave the more,
As would cold water given to a mad dog.

Moonshine. Now, sir, my book, or rather books of travels:

It is an age since they've entranc'd my thought.
If Fortune will but smile upon my fancy-
And, Mr Inference, do you think he will?

Inference. He? Fortune was born of the female gender.

Moonshine. Then, curse her, she will frown of woman kind

I ne'er saw one that did not frown on me--
And we have both liv'd long on Fortune's frown.
Inference. (dolefully) Granted-but how ?
Moonshine. How lives the bear

That prowls all winter o'er the polar ice,
Preying upon the atmospheric gas,

Or subtler essence of electric fluid?

Inference. Fortune, methinks, should smile on you at least,

If 'twere but that she might seem singular,
And thus indulge a foible of her sex.

Moonshine. But I have been assur'd when woman frowns not

Her smile's a frigid one- -may Heaven forbid !
For ere I'd court in seeking fervid bliss

F

The scornful radiance of a damsel's eye,
I would endeavour to reach India's clime
Through the cold bosom of a north-east passage.
Inference. Which I conclude you've done-in fan-
cy, sir,

A safe conveyance, much in vogue for realms
Through which 'tis meant to write a book of travels.
But you have misjudg'd woman: she is coy,
A little coy, perhaps; but she is Nature's child:
To give a zest unto her charms she chills them,
As her wise mother freezes the persimmon
To make it palatable-Then her speech
Puts forth so soon the blossoms of her wit.

Moonshine. Too early blossoms promise little fruit
And if you hold the opposite opinion,
You're very headstrong, Mr. Inference.

Inference. Fallacious and sophistic are your words; They are vindictive, and they constitute

An argumentum ab invidiâ deductum, a non causa pro causâ, and

Enter MR. PRIMEVAL, habited in a dress denoting his attachment to antiquity.

Mr. Prim. Your most obedient, gentlemen. Moonshine. (bowing with great suppleness) And

yours.

(aside) He may be rich.

Mr. Prim. In your discussions doth Antiquity e'er claim your notice, sirs?

Moonshine. We never, sir, have argued on aught else.

But, is it possible? Do I behold

An antiquary? (Primeval answers in the affirmative with a bow of much self-complacency) The occasion

- must not

Pass unimprov'd: then open your mind's spring;
My ears would fain imbibe a flow of knowledge.

Mr. Prim. Incomparable men! whose very garbs

Speak your respect for all that bears the stamp
Of former ages, we'll converse awhile,
And stem time's current to its rippling source-
But first I would consult you on a point
Of no small matter to my heart's repose:
My property is large

Inference. And my desire

To please

Moonshine. (shoving aside Inference) Don't mention wealth, dear sir, with me

It is a secondary object. But

Forgive this freedom (presses Primeval's hand.)
Mr. Prim. My intended heir,

Whose font-name, Adam, erst won my regard,
Is in his morals very dissolute.

Inference. And, sir, of course a most unworthy object

I have full many reasons in reserve:
Wherefore if you-

Moonshine. (again thrusting Inference aside, and pressing Primeval's hand) Respected sir, you know not

How much I am devoted to your will!

Mr. Prim. Then, gentlemen, if you can call to mind An instance from antiquity whereinInference. An instance from

Moonshine. I cannot recollect one:
Not e'en Tiberius-

Mr. Prim. Hem-Tiberius? Yes,
He nam'd Caligula heir to his crown
Because Caligula was a mere rake-hell.
The question is determin'd: I've resolv’d
That Adam shall inherit mine estate.

Moonshine. (apart to Inference) Why, d-mn the feľlow, he would welcome hanging,

Were he persuaded it would be to die

More majorum.

Mr. Prim Hanging! I think I overheard that phrase.

Moonshine. (alarmed) What, heard me use it? Never-1 appeal

To Mr. Scholium if the phrase you mention
Ever escap'd my lips.

Inference. (to Primeval) Scarcely a moment since The phrase you mention did escape his lips.

Mr. Prim. Then I'm convinc'd the practice it defines

Must be the relic of an ancient usage.

The earliest sufferer you can recollect, pray? Inference. (apart to Primeval) That fellow's grandfather-Don't mention it.

Moonshine. (overhearing him) Sir!
Inference. He, poor man-
Mr. Prim. What?

Moonshine. Mr. Inference.

Inference. Well, Mr. Moonshine.

Mr. Prim. (aside) Moonshine, Inference! (takes out and examines a small memorandum.book, while they in dumb show altercate without observing him.)

I've had occasion to record these names!

(reads) Requested in a letter from Messrs Dablings and Co. to arrest for an old debt two persons who embarked early in the spring for this country, and whose real names are Inference and Moonshine: the one is mum, mum, mum-the other mum, mumTheir persons also answer the description Yes, they must be secur'd: imprisonment Is not a new invention.

[exit

Inference. Well, well, I will omit the usual form Of the prosyllogismus my conclusion

Is to confess my fault and crave your mercy.

Moonshine. Know I can strip you of your borrowed

name,

Nay, with a breath, sir, blow you to perdition.
Inference. So closely are our destinies allied
Methinks that it would be your dying breath.
But hear me; for I'll reason to the last :

The gentleman mistook me not: I spoke
A truth in humorous play; and he drew back
In pleasurable wonder, not alarm.

The point of what I said graz'd with some force
The memory of your grandfather, and thus
Affected you; but to the antiquary

The whole appear'd a jest and rather than
A witty thought be balk'd, who does deny
One's best friend ought to suffer-
-Such are you

To me.

Re-enter PRIMEVAL, who, unobserved by MOONSHINE and INFERENCE, points them out to an officer, and exit.

Moonshine. Well, for the future know your proper distance.

Interpret not my condescension into

Allowance for familiarity.

Retire, d'ye hear? I would converse awhile

With the grave gentleman- -(turns, and with surprise sees the officer instead of Primeval) Ah!(apart to Inference) Do you know him?

Inference. (apart to Moonshine) It is not Old Times, is it?

Officer. (aside) They suspect me.

'Tis very well I happen'd to be here:

I'll take them--No: they're said to hate each other, And they shall nab each other

(to them as they are endeavouring to withdraw) Gentlemen,

How are you?

Inference. Pretty well, of course.

Moonshine. But, sir,

In haste at present.

Officer. (to Moonshine) I can't help it.

A word with you. (Inference during their conversation tries several times to escape unseen, but is as often prevented by the eyes of Moonshine or the officer.)