CHAPTER XIII. 1687-1691.

Baxter's Review of his own Life and Opinions, and Account of his matured Sentiments and Feelings-Remarks on that Review-The Public Events of his last Years-The Revolution-The Act of Toleration-Baxter's sense of the Articles required to be subscribed by this Act-Agreement of the Presbyterian and Independent Ministers of London-Last Years of Baxter-Preaches for Sylvester-His Writings-Visited by Dr. Calamy-Account of his last Sickness and Death, by Bates and Sylvester-Calumnious Report respecting the State of his Mind-Vindicated by Sylvester-Buried in Christ-church-His Will-William Baxter-Funeral Sermons by Sylvester and Bates-Sketch of his Character by the latter-Concluding Observations on the Characteristic Piety of Baxter.

HAVING brought down the narrative of this venerable man's life and times nearly to the close of his active career, I apprehend this is the proper place to introduce his own review of the progress of his mind and character. He who was so attentive to others, and who drew the character of many, was not indifferent about himself, and exercised a much more rigid scrutiny into his own principles and conduct than he ever employed on those of his fellow men. He strongly recommended self-examination and self-judgment; it will now appear how conscientiously he practised them. The virtue of candor he ever enforced, with all the energy and eloquence of which he was master; and in the development, which he furnishes of the state of his own mind, and of his most secret thoughts, he shows how he was trained to practise it.

In his case, we have an advantage which is not frequently enjoyed in writing the lives of distinguished individuals. We are furnished with his own views at length, not merely of his life and labors, but of the gradual and successive changes of his mind. Had this been the production of a weak, self-conceited man, or of one little accustomed to trace the workings of his intellectual and moral principles, it would have been worth very little; but being the work of a man of deep piety, unfeigned humility, and of the most discriminating powers of mind; of one who studied himself, as well as others, with the profoundest attention, and who was more ready to disclose his own failures and imperfections, than to speak of his own virtues, it is exceedingly valuable. As he has left it with the express view of enabling posterity to form a correct idea of himself; of a man who was warmly applauded by one party, and not less maligned by another, it would be altogether wrong to withhold it, or to give it in any other words than his own. It was written towards the latter part of his life, and comprises an extensive review of his experience, opinions, and writings. I omit only what I conceive to be extraneous or now unnecessary, and reserve his opinion of his writings, with a few other passages, for the second part of this work. If the reader make a little

allowance for a slight appearance of egotism and garrulity, he will probably find this among the most instructive parts of the life of Baxter. It is the summary of his matured views, after a long and busy career, in which he had seen much both of the world and of the church.

"Because it is soul experience which those who urge me to this kind of writing expect, that I should, especially, communicate to others; and I have said little of God's dealings with my soul since the time of my younger years, I shall only give the reader so much satisfaction as to acquaint him truly what change God hath made upon my mind and heart since those unriper times, and wherein I now differ in judgment and disposition from myself. For any more particular account of heart occurrences, and God's operations on me, I think it somewhat unsavory to recite them, seeing God's dealings are much the same with all his servants in the main, and points wherein he varieth, are usually so small, that I think such not fit to be repeated. Nor have I any thing extraordinary to glory in, which is not common to the rest of my brethren, who have the same spirit, and are servants of the same Lord. The true reasons why I do adventure so far upon the censure of the world as to tell them wherein the case is altered with me, is, that I may take off young inexperienced Christians from over confidence in their first apprehensions, or overvaluing their first degrees of grace, or too much applauding and following unfurnished, inexperienced men; and that they may be directed what mind and course of life to prefer, by the judgment of one that hath tried both before them.

"The temper of my mind hath somewhat altered with the temper of my body. When I was young I was more vigorous, affectionate, and fervent, in preaching, conference, and prayer, than, ordinarily, I can be now. My style was more extemporate and lax, but, by the advantage of warmth, and a very familiar moving voice and utterance, my preaching then did more affect the auditory, than it did many of the last years before I gave over preaching. But what I delivered then was much more raw, and had more passages that would not bear the trial of accurate judgments; and my discourses had both less substance and less judgment than of late.

"My understanding was then quicker, and could more easily manage any thing that was newly presented to it upon a sudden; but it is since better furnished, and acquainted with the ways of truth and error, and with a multitude of particular mistakes of the world, which then I was the more in danger of, because I had only the faculty of knowing them, but did not actually know them. I was then like a man of a quick understanding, that was to travel a way which he never went before, or to cast up an account which he never labored in before, or to play on an in

strument of music which he never saw before. I am now like one of somewhat a slower understanding, who is travelling a way which he hath often gone, and is casting up an account which he hath ready at hand, and that is playing on an instrument which he hath frequently used: so that I can very confidently say my judgment is much sounder and firmer now than it was then: for though I am now as competent a judge of the actings of my own understanding as then, I can judge better of the effects. When I peruse the writings which I wrote in my younger years, I can find the footsteps of my unfurnished mind, and of my emptiness and insufficiency: so that the man that followed my judgment then, was likelier to have been misled by me than he that should follow it now.

"In my younger years, my trouble for sin was most about my actual failings; but now I am much more troubled for inward defects and omissions, for want of the vital duties or graces of the soul. My daily trouble is so much for my ignorance of God, weakness of belief, want of greater love to God, strangeness to him and to the life to come, and for want of a greater willingness to die, and more longing to be with God in heaven, that I take not some immoralities, though very great, to be in themselves so great and odious sins, if they could be found separate from these. Had I all the riches of the world, how gladly should I give them for a fuller knowledge, belief, and love, of God and everlasting glory! These wants are the greatest burden of my life, which oft maketh my life itself a burden. I cannot find any hope of reaching so high in these enjoyments, while I am in the flesh, as I once hoped before this time to have attained; which maketh me the wearier of this sinful world, that is honored with so little of the knowledge of God.

"Heretofore, I placed much of my religion in tenderness of heart, grieving for sin, and penitential tears; and less of it in the love of God, in studying his goodness, and engaging in his joyful praises, than now I do. Then I was little sensible of the greatness and excellency of love and praise, though I coldly spake the same words as now I do. I am less troubled for want of grief and tears (though I value humility, and refuse not needful humiliation,) but my conscience now looketh at love and delight in God, and praising him, as the top of all my religious duties; for which it is that I value and use the rest.

“My judgment is much more for frequent and serious meditation on the heavenly blessedness than it was in my younger days. I then thought that a sermon on the attributes of God, and the joys of heaven, was not the most excellent; and was wont to say, 'Every body knoweth that God is great and good, and that heaven is a blessed place; I had rather hear how I may attain it.' Nothing pleased me so well as the doctrine of regeneration

and the marks of sincerity, because these things were suitable to me in that state; but now I had rather read, hear, meditate, on God and heaven, than on any other subject. I perceive that it is the object which altereth and elevateth the mind; which will resemble that which it most frequently feedeth on. It is not only useful to our comfort to be much in heaven in believing thoughts; it must animate all our other duties, and fortify us against every temptation and sin. The love of the end is the poise or spring which setteth every wheel a-going, and must put us on to all the means; for a man is no more a Christian indeed than he is heavenly.

"Formerly I knew much less than now, and yet was not half so much acquainted with my ignorance: I had a great delight in the daily, new discoveries which I made, and of the light which shined in upon me, like a man that cometh into a country where he never was before; but I little knew either how imperfectly I understood those very points whose discovery so much delighted me, or how much might be said against them, or how many things I was yet a stranger to. I now find far greater darkness in all things, and perceive how very little we know in comparison of that of which we are ignorant. I have, therefore, far meaner thoughts of my own understanding, though I must needs know that it is better furnished than it was then.

"I now see more good and more evil than heretofore I did. I see that good men are not so good as I once thought they were, but have more imperfections; and that nearer approach and fuller trial do make the best appear more weak and faulty than their admirers at a distance think. I find that few are so bad as either malicious enemies or censorious, separating professors do imagine. In some, indeed, I find that human nature is corrupted into a greater likeness to devils than I once thought any on earth had been; but even in the wicked, usually, there is more for grace to make advantage of, and more to testify for God and holiness, than I once believed there had been.

"I less admire gifts of utterance and the bare profession of religion than I once did; and have much more charity for many who by the want of gifts do make an obscurer profession. I once thought that almost all who could pray movingly and fluently, and talk well of religion, had been saints. But experience hath

opened to me what odious crimes may consist with high profession; while I have met with divers obscure persons, not noted for any extraordinary profession or forwardness in religion, but only to live a quiet, blameless life, whom I have after found to have long lived, as far as I could discern, a truly godly and sanctified life; only their prayers and duties were, by accident, kept secret from other men's observation. Yet he that upon this pre

tence would confound the godly and the ungodly, may as well go about to lay heaven and hell together.

"I am not so narrow in my special love as heretofore: being less censorious, and taking more than I did for saints, it must needs follow that I love more as saints than I did formerly. I think it not lawful to put that man off with bare church communion, and such common love which I must allow the wicked, who professeth himself a true Christian, by such a profession as I cannot disprove. I am not so narrow in my principles of church communion as once I was. I more plainly perceive the difference between the church as congregate, or visible, and as regenerate, or mystical. I can now distinguish between sincerity and profession; that a credible profession is proof sufficient of a man's title to church admission; and that the profession is credible in foro ecclesia, which is not disproved. I am not for narrowing the church more than Christ himself alloweth us; nor for robbing him of any of his flock. I am more sensible how much it is the will of Christ, that every man be the chooser or refuser of his own felicity, and that it lieth most on his own hands whether he will have communion with the church or not, and that if he be an hypocrite, it is himself that will bear the loss.

"Yet I am more apprehensive than ever of the great use and need of ecclesiastical discipline; what a sin it is in the pastors of the church to make no distinction, but by bare names and sacraments, and to force all the unmeet, against their wills, to church communion: though the ignorant and erroneous may sometimes be forced to hear instruction. What a great dishonor to Christ it is, when the church is as vicious as Pagan and Mahometan assemblies, and differs from them only in ceremony and name!

"I am much more sensible how prone many young professors are to spiritual pride, and self-conceitedness, and unruliness, and division, and so to prove the grief of their teachers, and firebrands in the church; and how much of a minister's work lieth in preventing this, and humbling and confirming such young inexperienced professors, and keeping them in order in their progress in religion. Yet I am more sensible of the sin and mischief of using men cruelly in matters of religion, and of pretending men's good and the order of the church, for acts of inhumanity or uncharitableness. Such know not their own infirmity, nor yet the nature of pastoral government, which ought to be paternal and by love; nor do they know the way to win a soul, or to maintain the church's peace.

"My soul is much more afflicted with the thoughts of this miserable world, and more drawn out in desire of its conversion, than heretofore. I was wont to look but little further than England in my prayers, not considering the state of the rest of the world; or if I prayed for the conversion of the Jews, that was al