teeth? I would not have mounted such an animal if I had got him for nothing. So think no more about the matter, my son."

Having been so unlucky in their horse, the disciples hired an ox, on which their master was to ride; but it happened one day that in crossing a desert, Paramarta, overcome by the heat of the sun, was compelled to repose himself under the shadow of the ox's body. In the evening the owner of the ox demanded an additional sum for the use they had made of his ox, pretending that he was only to be mounted, and not to be used as an umbrella. This Paramarta refused to pay, and the dispute was referred to the chief of the neighbouring village, who, on hearing the cause argued, related the following adventure :

"I was myself on a journey some years ago, and one evening I arrived at an inn where I intended to pass the night. This inn presented not only a place of repose, but in the keeper of it travellers found a person who for their money would cook their victuals. He was then preparing a ragoût so well seasoned, that the perfume which it sent forth filled all the room, and was highly agreeable.

"I should have been glad to have eaten part of it, but, not having money to pay for it, I could not satisfy my longing. I had brought with me my little portion of boiled rice, and, approaching the fire-place where the ragoût was preparing, I begged the cook to allow me to hold my bag of rice in the fragrant steam, in order that it might catch some of the odour, as I could not afford to pay for the substance.

"The cook, with more complaisance than generally belongs to his class, granted my request. I accordingly held my rice over the steam of the ragoût until it was withdrawn from the fire. I then retired to a corner and ate my rice, which, though it had only been seasoned by vapour, appeared to me

excellent.

"Next morning, when I was about to proceed on my journey, the innkeeper stopped me, and in a determined tone insisted on my paying him for the vapours of his ragoût, with which I had seasoned my rice the preceding evening.

"What!' cried I, with equal astonishment and indignation, did ever any one hear of paying money for smoke?' I refused to pay his demand; and my adversary seizing me by the collar, swore he would not loose his hold till I had paid him for the steam of his ragoût. I still refused; and at last we mutually agreed to refer our dispute to the chief of the village, who fortunately was a very equitable person.

"This worthy man gave his decision on the point in the following terms: Those who ate of the ragoût shall pay in hard cash. Those who have only swallowed the vapours of it, should pay only with the smell of money.'

Then taking a small bag of money which he had about him, he approached my adversary, and seizing him with one hand by the nape of the neck, he rubbed his nose roughly with the coin, saying, Smell it, my good friend, smell it: take payment for the odour of your ragoût,'

"Enough, enough,' cried my adversary, you'll rub my nose off. I'm quite satisfied, and am ready to give a receipt in full.'

It is scarcely necessary to add that the gourou's affair is decided in the

same manner.

After this disappointment in the mare's egg, and the roguery of the owner of the ox, Paramarta and his disciples resolved to travel on foot-the latter, however, still longing for a horse for the gourou. They arrived early one morning on the borders of a tank, on which a temple was built, and in front of the temple stood the image of a horse in baked clay, which, the tank being quite full of clear water, was perfectly reflected at the bottom. Idiot, who

* Figures of horses and other animals in baked clay are very commonly found about the Indian temples. They are generally offerings for the accomplishment of

some vow.

was nearest the water, gazed at this phenomenon in silence and wonder: as he gazed, a breeze arose, which agitated the water, and, as it moved, the figure of the horse seemed also in motion. Idiot observing that the clayhorse still remained motionless, while that in the water seemed to plunge and rear, felt convinced that the image in the water was a real horse; but to make quite sure of the matter, he threw a large stone into the tank, which augmented the agitation of the waves, and made the supposed horse rear, caper, and give other tokens of irritation. Idiot called Paramarta and the other disciples to witness the scene; and all of them seeing how the horse capered while the clay-horse stood quite still, agreed in Idiot's opinion, and began forthwith to consult upon the best method of catching him. As none of them would venture into the water to bind him with ropes, it was agreed that he should be fished up with a hook and line. For a hook they took a large reaping-hook, and they formed their line of the half-worn linen of the gourou's turban, and as a bait they wrapped up some boiled rice in a cloth, which they fastened to the hook. They then threw it into the water, to the bottom of which it sunk, and the hook caught the root of a tree which crossed the tank. Feeling some resistance, the disciples imagined they had caught the horse, and pulled with all their force to bring him to land, when the turban yielding to their efforts, snapped in the middle, and all our fishermen tumbled backwards, leaving their hook at the bottom of the water.

A worthy man, who happened to pass, and to whom they recounted their adventure, explained to them the cause of the phenomenon they had witnessed, and, after inviting them to his house, presented the gourou with a horse, of which the following is a brief description. He was twenty-five years old, he had but one eye, and one of his cars had been cut off close to his head; but these would have been but slight defects had he not been lame in one of his fore-legs, while the hind-feet were turned outwards, so that the two knees knocked together as he walked, and his legs formed an exact triangle when he halted.

On this noble steed, Paramarta prepared to ride homewards: but missing their way, the cortège got into a wood. As they advanced, a branch caught the gourou's turban, which fell on the ground; Paramarta concluded that his disciples would pick it up without orders: while they, seeing that the gourou said nothing about the matter, allowed it to remain where it fell. A short time afterwards, the gourou asked for his turban,—“Oh,” said the disciples, we left it on the ground, as you gave us no orders to pick it up.""Go quickly," replied the gourou angrily, "and fetch it me: and once for all I desire you will pick up whatever falls from the horse that ought to be picked up." .""Oh !" cried they, " that is far too general a description. You must make us a detailed list." Accordingly the gourou wrote out a list, which he gave them, and pursued his journey.

66

On arriving at a ditch full of mud, Paramarta's horse being unable to clear it, fell, and his rider with him. The gourou called loudly to his disciples for aid; they came, but, instead of pulling him out of the wet ditch, one of them read the gourou's list aloud, thus:

"If my turban falls, you must pick it up.

If my girdle falls, you must pick it up.

If my shawl falls, you must pick it up.

"In a word, if any of my vestments or whatever I carry about me falls, you must pick it up."

Conforming themselves strictly to the letter of their instructions, the disciples then stripped their gourou quite naked, leaving him in the mud, declaring that his name was not in the list he had given them. Paramarta therefore finding entreaty useless, asked for the list, and wrote at the bottom of it in large letters:

And if your master, the gourou Paramarta, falls, you must pick him up." The disciples then made no further difficulty, but lifted Paramarta out of

the ditch, washed him in a neighbouring tank, and returned to their mata.” pp. 231 to 318.

The gourou, on his arrival at his convent, becomes sick, and dies: but the details of his deathbed, though extremely amusing, are rather too coarse for translation. We shall therefore proceed to another story, in which the practices of the brahmins are, as usual, ridiculed and exposed. The invention of the malin disciple is extremely diverting.

The Priest and his Disciple.

One day a disciple of Siva wishing to sacrifice to his lingam, left it by the side of a tank while he went to gather flowers for the offering: a monkey seeing it, snatched it up, and carried it off. The disciple, after searching for it in vain, went to his djangoumat with tears in his eyes: "Alas!" cried he, "I have lost my lingam, what shall I do?"-"Wretch," cried the priest, "thou hast lost thy god! then thou hast only to prepare to die. Nothing but thy death can appease the wrath of Siva. The only favour that can be granted thee, is to choose one of three kinds of death-that thou shouldst pull out thy tongue, or be suffocated by the steam of incense, or drown thyself. Choose them, and choose speedily."

"Well then," said the disciple, since I must die, I should prefer drowning myself to the other kinds of death, for then I can advance into the water little by little, and so lose my life as it were unawares. I trust, however, that you will accompany me to the water's edge, and give me your blessing." The djangouma willingly consented, and followed his disciple to the streain. As the latter went in, the priest loudly exhorted him to be courageous, promising him perfect happiness in paradise. The disciple was now in the water up to his neck, when, turning to the priest, he said, "My dear master, before I die, grant me one favour: lend me your lingam that I may adore it; after which I shall die coutented." The priest consented, and the disciple came to the bank, received the lingam, and re-entered the water. When he had got to a considerable depth, he let fall the lingam as if by accident; and cried out with great apparent emotion, "Ah, Sir! what a misfortune! your lingam is also lost-it is gone to the bottom. Alas! how sincerely I lament your fate! Yet were it not for my attachment to your person, I should bless this accident as the happy means of obtaining for me the advantage of dying in company with my spiritual guide. Yes, we must die together, as we have both lost our lingams-and I trust I shall follow you to the paradise of Siva." He then approached the priest, and seizing him, protested he would die with him; while the priest, pale and trembling, regarded his wicked disciple for some time without speaking. At last he said, "Well, after all, where is the great harm of losing a little stone image, not worth a farthing? Come to my mata, where I have got an assortment of lingams; we will take one apiece, and nobody will ever be the wiser.'" pp. 372 to 377.

The following Extravaganza will remind our readers of the strain of some of the more ludicrous stories in the "Arabian Nights' Entertainments."

The Four Foolish Brahmins.

In a certain district of India, a grand public repast was to be given to the Brahmins, four of whom meeting on the road, agreed to perform the journey together. A soldier passing them, saluted them; to which they replied by their blessing. The four Brahmins forthwith began to dispute to which of them the soldier's salutation was addressed: but not being able to decide this weighty matter among themselves, it was agreed on that they should all run after the soldier and ask him. After pursuing him a league, they came up

• An Indian idol.

Death is the penalty of losing a lingam.

† l'riest.

with him, and put their question. The soldier, provoked at this folly, replied in a mocking tone, "Why, then, I saluted the greatest fool among you.” Though at first confounded by the soldier's decision, each was so unwilling to give up the honour of the salute to another, that all claimed the superiority in folly; but, as they would only have proved their equality in it by coming to blows, they determined to submit the case to the decision of the judges of the neighbouring town of Darmapourg.

It happened to be a court-day, and all the judges and brahmins of the place were assembled: but, on hearing the cause, they declared themselves unable to decide the prize of folly to any of them, as they were all strangers, unless they should all detail some incident of their lives which should prove peculiar eminence in stupidity. The first accordingly began thus:

"I am very ill dressed, as you perceive, and this is the cause. A rich merchant in my neighbourhood one day made me a present of two pieces of very fine cloth, which, before using, I washed, to purify them, and then hung them up on a tree to dry. A dog passed by at this moment, but I could not

who

perceive whether he had touched the linen or not, nor did my chi fact, I

were playing at a little distance. In order to assure myself of knelt down on all-fours, making myself about the dog's height, and crawled under the linen. Did I touch?' I asked. 'No,' replied my children,

But

1 reflected that as the dog's tail was turned up, it might by chance have touched my linen: I accordingly fastened a reaping-hook on my back, and passed under it. The hook touched; and convinced by this that the dog must have profaned my linen, I tore it in a thousand pieces. The adven ture spread, and every one called me a fool. Even if the dog did touch your linen,' said some, 'could not you have washed it again? Why did you not rather give it to the poor Soudras?'t cried others. After such a piece of folly, who will ever give you clothes in future?' Their predictions were just, for since that time, when I ask for linen-To tear in pieces, doubtless,' is always the reply."

When the first Brahmin had ended, one of the auditors said,-"It seems, then, you run well on your hands and feet?"-"You shall see," replied he: and he scampered round the hall in that posture, while the assembly was in convulsions of laughter. The second then spoke :

"One day, being about to attend a public festival, I had my head shaved. I desired my wife to give the barber a halfpenny, but she by mistake gave him a penny. I demanded my change, but this the barber refused: 'However,' said he, if you like, I will shave your wife's head for the disputed halfpenny. Very well,' I replied. Accordingly, I held my wife while the barber shaved her head: after which he decamped, and published the affair every where. It was universally believed and said, that I had surprised my wife with a lover, and had caused her head to be shaved as a punishment: and to such a degree did this story gain ground, that an ass was brought to my door, on which it was intended (as usual in such cases) to parade my wife through the village. Her father and mother arrived: and, after abusing me grossly, carried off their daughter; and to add to all my misfortunes, I missed the feast for which I had been preparing myself by three days' fast. Another repast was soon after announced, at which I made my appearance, and was received amidst the hisses of all present, who insisted on my declaring who was the lover of my wife. It was in vain that I protested her innocence, and told my own story. Did ever any one,' they cried, 'hear of a husband's shaving his wife's head, but when a lover was in the case? Either this man must be the greatest liar, or the greatest fool, that ever existed on the face of the earth.""

When the second Brahmin had concluded, the third addressed the assembly: "I was formerly named Anantaya, but I am now called Betel-Anantaya: and

The dog is reckoned an unclean animal in India.

+ The most degraded of the Indian castes.

August.-VOL. XVII. NO. LXVIII.

M

the following is the cause of my obtaining that nickname. About a month after my marriage, I happened to say to my wife that women were tattlers: to which she replied, evidently alluding to me, that there were some men much more given to tattling than women. Piqued at this retort, I said: 'Well then, let us see which of us will henceforth speak first.' With all my heart,' replied she: but what shall our wager be?' 'A leaf of betel,'* said I: so the bargain was made, and we went to bed. The next morning we did not make our appearance at the usual hour: our friends called us several times, and knocked at our door, in vain. We persisted in our silence, till at last, alarmed lest we should have died suddenly in the night, they called a carpenter, and forced our door, when they found us alive, awake, and in good health, but both deprived of speech. They were now convinced that we were enchanted, and in order to remove the fatal spell, the most famous magician of the neighbourhood was called in, who pronounced us bewitched. A brahmin of our acquaintance, however, maintained that our malady was natural, and promised to cure us. Beginning with me, he took up with pincers a small red-hot bar of gold, which he applied first on the soles of my feet, then on my knees, on the elbows, my stomach, and the top of my head. I sustained my tortures without discovering the least sign of pain, and would have died if necessary, rather than have lost my wager.

"Finding the experiment had failed with me, the brahmin resolved to try it on my wife. But no sooner did she feel the heat than she cried out, 'Ah! that's enough; I have lost my wager:' then turning to me, she said, 'See, there's your betel-leaf.'—' Ay,' replied I, ' I knew you would speak first;' and thereupon I repeated to all present the story of our wager. 'What!' cried they all, and was it merely that you might not lose a betel-leaf that you alarmed your family and the whole village? Was it for such a trifle that you allowed yourself to be burnt from head to foot? Was there ever such an idiot!" And from that time I have been nicknamed Betel-Anantaya."

The assembly, on hearing the third Brahmin, agreed that he had large pretensions to the soldier's salute: but before deciding, they resolved to hear the fourth speaker, who delivered himself as follows:

6

"When I was married, my mother, being sick, was unable to fetch my wife from the house of her father: she therefore despatched me on the mission, with a thousand counsels and cautions, saying at the same time, Knowing you as I do, I am afraid you will commit some piece of folly.' I promised to conduct myself properly, and set out. After staying three days with my father-in-law, I proceeded homewards. We were then in the summer solstice, and the heat was excessive. We had to cross a sandy plain, more than six miles in extent. The hot sand burnt the feet of my young wife, who had been very delicately brought up in her father's house: she first began to cry, and then, unable to proceed farther, she threw herself on the ground, refusing to rise, and saying that she was determined to die there. I seated myself by her side, uncertain what to do, when a merchant with fifty oxen passed by: I consulted him on the subject, and he replied, that to proceed or to remain would be dangerous for the girl. However,' said he, as her death is certain either way, and you may be suspected of it, suppose you give her to me: I will put her on one of my oxen, and take the utmost care of her; and as for her trinkets, they may be worth twenty pagodas; here are thirty for you. Now will you give me your wife?'

"The arguments of the merchant appeared to me very plausible; so I took his money, gave him my wife, and pursued my way homewards. Where is your wife?' said my mother. Upon this I detailed the affair, and showed her the thirty pagodas I had received: when she, to my surprise, burst forth into transports of rage. 'Wretch! fool! villain!' cried she, have you sold your wife-a brahmaddyt-to a base merchant? What will her friends and our own say to such a piece of beastly stupidity!'

*The Hindoos are fond of chewing betel, of which 200 leaves may be had for a farthing.

+ Belonging to the Brahmin caste.

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