balls, routs, and ridottos, I have pursued you like your shadow; I have besieged your door for a glimpse of your exit and entrance, like a distressed creditor, who has no arms against privilege but perseverance. Pap. So, now he is in for it; stop him who can. Young Wild. In short, madam, ever since I quitted America, which I take now to be about a year, I have as faithfully guarded the live-long night your ladyship's portal, as a centinel the powder magazine in a fortified town. Pap. Quitted America! well pulled. then? Young Wild. Full four years, madam: and during that whole time, not a single action of consequence, but I had an opportunity to signalize myself; and I think I may, without vanity affirm, I did not miss the occasion. You have heard of Quebec, I presume? Pap. What the deuce is he driving at now? Young Wild. The project to surprise that place was thought an happy expedient, and the first mounting the breach, a gallant exploit. There, indeed, the whole army did me justice. Miss Gran. I have heard the honour of that conquest attributed to another name. suppose Young Wild. The mere taking the town, madam. But that's a trifle: Sieges now-a-days are reduced to certainties; it is amazing how minutely exact we, who know the business, are at calculation. For instance now, we will the commander in chief, addressing himself to me, was to say, 'Colonel, I want to reduce that fortress; what will be the expence?'Why, please your highness, the reduction of that fortress will cost you one thousand and two lives, sixty-nine legs, ditto arms, fourscore fractures, with about twenty dozen of flesh wounds.' Miss Gran. And you should be near the mark? Young Wild. To an odd joint, madam. But, madam, it is not to the French alone that my feats are confined: Cherokees, Catabaws, with all the Awes and Eees of the continent, have felt the force of my arms. Pap. This is too much, sir! Young Wild. Hands off!-Nor am I less adroit at a treaty, madam, than terrible in battle. To me we owe the friendship of the Five Nations; and I had the first honour of smoking the pipe of peace with the Little Carpenter. Miss Gran. And so young! Miss Gran. The place is too public. to reap Young Wild. In short, madam, after having gathered as many laurels abroad as would garnish a Gothic cathedral at Christmas, I returned the harvest of the well-fought field. Here it was my good fortune to encounter you; then was the victor vanquished; what the enemy could never accomplish, your eyes in an instant at chieved; prouder to serve here than command in chief elsewhere; and more glorious in wearing your chains, than in triumphing over the vanquished world! Miss Gran. I have got here a most heroical lover: But I see Sir James Elliot coming, and must dismiss him.-[Aside.]—Well, sir, I accept the tendre of your passion, and may find a time to renew our acquaintance; at present it is necessary we should separate. Young Wild. 'Slave to your will, I live but to obey you.' But may I be indulged with the knowledge of your residence? Miss Gran. Sir? Young Wild. Your place of abode. Miss Gran.-Oh, sir, you can't want to be ac quainted with that; you have a whole year stood centinel at my ladyship's portal! Young Wild. Madam, I—I—I Miss Gran. Oh, sir, your servant. Ha, ha, ha! What, you are caught? ha, ha, ha! Well, he has a most intrepid assurance. Adieu, my Mars.Ha, ba, ha! [Exit MISS GRAN. Pap. That last was an unlucky question, sir. Young Wild. A little mal-a-propos, I must confess. Pap. A man should have a good memory who deals much in this poetical prose. Young Wild. Poh! I'll soon re-establish my credit. But I must know who this girl is. Hark ye, Papillion, could not you contrive to pump out of her footman-I see there he stands-the name of his mistress? Pap. I will try. [Erit. [WILDING retires to the back of the stage. Enter SIR JAMES ELLIOT, and Servant. Sir James. Music and an entertainment? Sir James. Last night, upon the water? To them WILDING. Young Wild, Sir James Elliot, your most de voted. Sir James. Ah, my dear Wilding? you are wel Young Wild. This gentleman, though a Frenchman, and an enemy, I had the fortune to deliver from the Mohawks, whose prisoner he had been for nine years. He gives a most entertaining account of their laws and customs: he shall pre-come to town. sent you with the wampum belt and a scalping knife. Will you permit him, madam, just to give you a taste of the military dance, with a short specimen of their war-whoop? Pap. For Heaven's sake! Young Wild. You will pardon my impatience; I interrupted you; you seemed upon an interesting subject? Sir James. Oh, an affair of gallantry, Sir James. A young lady regaled last night by gave a pause, and an opportunity for an elegant her lover on the Thames. Young Wild. As how? Sir James. A band of music in boats. Young Wild. Were they good performers? dessert in Dresden China, by Robinson. Here the repast closed with a few favourite airs from Eliza, Tenducci, and the Mattei. Pap. Mercy on us! Young Wild. Opposite Lambeth, I had pre Sir James. The best. Then conducted to Marblehall, where she found a magnificent col-pared a naval engagement, in which Boscawen's lation. Young Wild. Well ordered? · Sir James. With elegance. After supper a ball; and, to conclude the night, a firework. Young Wild. Was the last well designed ? Sir James. Superb. it? Young Wild. And happily executed? Sir James. Not a single faux pas. victory over the French was repeated: the action was conducted by one of the commanders on that expedition, and not a single incident omitted. Sir James. Surely you exaggerate a little! Pap. Yes, yes, this battle will sink him. Young Wild. True to the letter, upon my honour! I shan't trouble you with a repetition of Young Wild. And you don't know who gave our collation, ball, feu d'artifice, with the thou Sir James. I can't even guess. Young Wild. Ha, ha, ha! Sir James. Why do you laugh? Young Wild. Ha, ha, ha! It was me. Sir James. You! Pap. You, sir! Young Wild. Moi-me. Pap. So, so, so; he's entered again. Sir James. Why, you are fortunate to find a mistress in so short a space of time. Young Wild. Short! why, man, I have been in London these six weeks. Pap. O Lord, O Lord! Young Wild. It is true, not caring to encounter my father, I have rarely ventured out but at nights. Pap. I can hold no longer! Dear sir- Pap. A curb to your poetical vein! Young Wild. I shall curb your impertinence -But since the story is got abroad, I will, my dear friend, treat you with all the particulars. Sir James. I shall hear it with pleasureThis is a lucky adventure : but he must not know he is my rival. [Aside. Young Wild. Why, sir, between six and seven my goddess embarked at Somerset-stairs, in one of the company's barges, gilt and hung with damask, expressly for the occasion. Pap. Mercy on us! Young Wild. At the cabin-door she was accosted by a beautiful boy, who, in the garb of a Cupid, paid her some compliments in verse of my own composing. The conceits were pretty; allusions to Venus and the sea-the lady and the Thames no great matter; but, however, well timed, and, what was better, well taken. Sir James. Doubtless. Pap. At what a rate he runs! Young Wild. As soon as we had gained the centre of the river, two boats, full of trumpets, French-horns, and other martial music, struck up their sprightly strains froin the Surry side, which were echoed by a suitable number of lutes, flutes, and haatboys, from the opposite shore. In this state, the oars keeping time, we majestically sailed along, till the arches of the New Bridge sand little incidental amusements that chance or design produced: it is enough to know, that all that could flatter the senses, fire the imagination, or gratify the expectation, was there produced in a lavish abundance. Sir James. The sacrifice was, I presume, grateful to your deity? Young Wild. Upon that subject you must pardon my silence. Pap. Modest creature! Sir James. I wish you joy of your successFor the present you will excuse me. Young Wild. Nay, but stay, and hear the con clusion. Young Wild. Freely. Pap. Pray, sir, are you often visited with these waking dreams? Young Wild. Dreams! what dost mean by dreams! Pap. Those ornamental reveries, those frolics of fancy, which, in the judgment of the vulgar, would be deemed absolute flams. Young Wild. Why, Papillion, you have but a poor, narrow, circumscribed genius! Pap. I must own, sir, I have not sublimity sufficient to relish the full fire of your Pindaric muse. Young Wild. No; a plebeian soul! But I will animate thy clay: mark my example, follow my steps, and, in time, thou may'st rival thy master. Pap. Never, never, sir; I have not the talents to fight battles without blows, and give feasts that don't cost me a farthing-Besides, sir, to what purpose are all these embellishments?Why tell the lady you had been in London a year? Young Wild. The better to plead the length, and consequently the strength, of my passion. Pap. But why, sir, a soldier? Young Wild. How little thou knowest of the sex! What, I suppose, thou would'st have me attack them in mood and figure, by a pedantic | don Gazette, than by all the sighing, dying, crying classical quotation, or a pompous parade of jar-crotchets, that the whole race of rhymers have gon from the schools? What, dost think that ever produced. women are to be got like degrees? Pap. Nay, sir Young Wild. No, no; the scavoir vivre is the science for them! the man of war is their man: they must be taken like towns, by lines of approach, counterscarps, angles,trenches, coehorns, and covert-ways; then enter sword-in-hand, pell mell! Oh, how they melt at the Gothic names of General Swapinback, Count Rousomousky, Prince Montecuculli, and Marshal Fustenburg! Men may say what they will of their Ovid, their Petrarch, and their Waller; but I'll undertake to do more business by the single aid of the Lon Pup. Very well, sir, this is all very lively; but remember the travelling pitcher; if you don't one time or other, under favour, lie yourself into some confounded scrape, I will be content to be hanged. Young Wild. Do you think so, Papillion? And whenever that happens, if I don't lie myself out of it again, why, then, I will be content to be crucified. And so, along after the lady-[Stops short, going out.]-Zounds, here comes my father! I must fly. Watch him, Papillion, and bring me word to Cardigan. [Exeunt separately. SCENE I-A room in a tavern. ACT II. YOUNG WILDING and PAPILLION rising from table. Young Wild. Gad, I had like to have run into the old gentleman's mouth. Young Wild. The old way: solder it by mar Pap. It is pretty near the same thing: for Iriage: that, you know, is the modern salve for saw him join Sir James Elliot: so your arrival is no longer a secret. Young Wild. Why, then, I must lose my pleasure, and you your preferment: I must submit to the dull decency of a sober family, and you to the customary duties of brushing and powdering. But I was so fluttered at meeting my father, that I forgot the fair; pr'ythee, who is she? Pap. How will you manage that? Young Wild. By making it impossible for her to marry any one else. Pap. I don't understand you, sir. Young Wild. Oh, I shail only have recourse to that talent you so mightily admire. You will see, by the circulation of a few anecdotes, how soon I will get rid of my rivals. Pap. At the expense of the lady's reputation, perhaps? Young Wild. That will be as it happens. every sore. Enter Waiter. Wait. An elderly gentleman to enquire for Mr. Wilding. Young Wild. For me! What sort of a being is it? Young Wild. You have just prevented me, sir: I was preparing to pay my duty to you. Old Wild. If you thought it a duty, you should, I think, have sooner discharged it. Young Wild, Sir! Old Wild. Was it quite so decent, Jack, to be six weeks in town, and conceal yourself only from me? Young Wild. Six weeks! I have scarce been six hours. Old Wild. Come, come; I am better informed. Young Wild. Indeed, sir, you are imposed upon. This gentleman (whom, first, give me the leave, to have the honour of introducing to you), this, sir, is the Marquis de Chatteau Brilliant, of an ancient house in Brittany; who, travelling through England, chose to make Oxford for some time the place of his residence, where I had the happiness of his acquaintance, Old Wild. Does he speak English? stood in his own country, that, at the last Hereford assize, a cause, as clear as the sun, was absolutely thrown away by his being merely mentioned as a witness. Old Wild. A strange turn! Young Wild. Unaccountable. But there, I think, they went a little too far; for, if it had come to an oath, I don't think he would have bounced, neither; but, in common occurrences, Young Wild. Not fluently; but understands it there is no repeating after him. Indeed, my perfectly. Pap. Pray, sir Old Wild. Any services, sir, that I can render you here, you may readily command. Pap. Beaucoup d'honneur. Young Wild. This gentleman, I say, sir, whose quality and country are sufficient securities for his veracity, will assure you, that yesterday we left Oxford together. Old Wild. Indeed! Old Wild. This is amazing! I was at the same time informed of another circumstance, too, that, I confess, made me a little uneasy, as it interfered with a favourite scheme of my own. Young Wild. What could that be, pray, sir? Old Wild. That you had conceived a violent affection for a a fair lady. Young Wild. Sir! great reason for dropping him, was, that my credit began to be a little suspected, too. Pap. Poor gentleman! Old Wild. Why, I never heard this of him. Young Wild. That may be; but can there be a stronger proof of his practice, than the flam he has been telling you of fire-works, and the Lord know's what! And, I dare swear, sir, he was very fluent and florid in his description. Old Wild. Extremely. Young Wild. Yes, that is just his way; and not a syllable of truth from the beginning to the ending, marquis! Pap. Oh, dat is all a fiction, upon mine hɔ nour. Young Wild. You see, sir Old Wild. Clearly. I really can't help pitying the poor man. I have heard of people, who, by long habit, become a kind of constitutional Old Wild, And had given her very gallant and liars. very expensive proofs of your passion. Young Wild. Me, sir! Old Wild. Particularly last night; music, collations, balls, and fire-works. Young Wild. Monsieur le Marquis! and pray, sir, who could tell you all this? Old Wild. An old friend of yours. Young Wild. Yes; I thought he was the man. Young Wild. Your observation is just; that is exactly his case. Pap. I'm sure it's yours. [Aside. Old Wild. Well, sir, I suppose we shall see you this evening? Young Wild. The Marquis has an appointment with some of his countrymen, which I have promised to attend: besides, sir, as he is an entire stranger in town, he may want my little services. Old Wild. Where can I see you in about an Young Wild. Why, sir, though Sir James El-hour? I have a short visit to make, in which you liot has a great many good qualities, and is, upon are deeply concerned. the whole, a valuable man, yet he has one fault which has long determined me to drop his acquaintance. Old Wild. What may that be? Young Wild. Why, you can't, sir, be a stranger to his prodigious skill in the traveller's talent? Young Wild. Oh, he is the modern Mandeville at Oxford: he was always distinguished by the facetious appellation of the Bouncer. Old Wild. Amazing! Young Wild. Lord, sir, he is so well under- your hand, Papillion-I will reform. Pap. Ah, sir! Young Wild. I positively will. Why, this in the bank, some on this loan, some on the other! so that if one fund fails, I have a sure resource in the rest. Miss God. Very true. Miss Gran. Well, my dear, just so I manage Young Wild. Well, if I don't turn out the my love-affairs: If I should not like this manmerest dull matter-of-fact fellow-But, Papil- if he should not like me-if we should quarre! lion, I must scribble a billet to my new flame. I-if, if-or in short, if any of the ifs should hapthink her name ispen, which you know break engagements every day, why, by this means I shall be never at a loss. Pap. Godfrey; her father, an India governor, shut up in the strong room at Calcutta, left her all his wealth: she lives near Miss Grantham, by Grosvenor-square. Young Wild. A governor! O ho! Bushels of rupees, and pecks of pagodas, I reckon. Well, J long to be rummaging. But the old gentleman will soon return: I will hasten to finish my letter. But, Papillion, what could my father mean by a visit, in which I am deeply concerned. Pap. I can't guess. Young Wild. I shall know presently. To Miss Godfrey, formerly of Calcutta, now residing in Grosvenor-square. Papillion, I won't tell her a word of a lie. Pap. You won't, sir. Young Wild. No; it would be ungenerous to deceive a lady. No; I will be open, candid, and sincere. Pap. And if you are, it will be the first time. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-An Apartment in MISS GRANT- Enter MISS GRANTHAM and MISS GODFREY. Miss God. And you really like this gallant spark? Miss Gran. Prodigiously! Oh, I am quite in love with his assurance! I wonder who he is: he can't have been long in town: a young fellow of his easy impudence must have soon made his way into the best of company. Miss God. By way of amusement, he may prove no disagreeable acquaintance; but you can't, surely, have any serious designs upon him? Miss Gran. Indeed, but I have. Miss God. Quite provident! Well, and pray on how many different securities have you at present placed out your love? Miss Gran. Three: The sober Sir James Elliot; the new America-man; and this morning I expect a formal proposal from an old friend of my father. Miss God. Mr. Wilding? Miss Gran. Yes; but I don't reckon much upon him: for you know, my dear, what can I do with an aukward, raw, college cub! Though, upon second thoughts, that mayn't be too bad neither; for as I must have the fashioning of him, he may be easily moulded to one's mind. Enter a Servant. Ser. Mr. Wilding, madam. Miss Gran. Show him in. [Exit Servant.— You need not go, my dear: we have no particular business. Miss God. I wonder, now, what she calls particular business. Enter OLD WILDING. Old Wild. Ladies, your servant. I wait upon you, madam, with a request from my son, that he may be permitted the honour of kissing your hand. Miss Gran. Your son is in town, then? Old Wild. He came last night, madam; and though but just from the university, I think I may venture to affirm with as little the air of a pedant as Miss Gran. I don't, Mr. Wilding, question the accomplishments of your son; and shall own too, that his being descended from the old friend Miss God. And poor Sir James Elliot is to be of my father is to me the strongest recommendadiscarded at once? Miss Gran. Oh, no! tion. Old Wild. You honour me, madam. |