Page images

Thus Aristotle's Soul, of old that was,
May now be damn'd to animate an Ass;
Or in this very House, for ought we know,
Is doing painful Penance in some Beau.

I fhall fill up this paper with some Letters which my last Tuesday's Speculation has produced. My following Correspondents will fhew, what I there observed, that the Speculation of that Day affects only the lower part of the Sex.

From my House in the Strand, October 30, 1711, Mr. SPECTATOR, "ITPON reading your Tuesday's Paper, I find by fe

U veral Symptoms in my Constitution that I am 'a Bec. My Shop, or if you please to call it fo, my Cell, ' is in that great Hive of Females wbich goes by the

Name of the New-Exchange; where I am daily employsed in gathering together a little Stock of Gain from

the finest Flowers about the Town, I mean the Ladics " and the Beaus. I have a numerous Swarm of Children, I to whom I give the best Education I am able : But,

Sir, it is my Misfortune to be married to a Drone, who ! lives upon what I get, without bringing any Thing into " the common Stock. Now, Sir, as on the one Hand I • take Care not to behave my self towards him like a • Wasp, so likewise I would not have him look upon me as " an Humble-Bee; for which Reason I do all I can to put • him upon laying up Provisions for a bad Day, and fre' quently represent to him the fatal effects his Sloth and • Negligence may bring upon us in our old Age. I must ' beg that you will join with me in your good Advice ' upon this Occasion, and you will for ever oblige

Your humble Servant,



Piccadilly, October 31, 1711. T Am joined in Wedlock for my Sins to one of those • Fillies who are described in the old Poet with that hard Name you gave us the other Day. She has a


i flowing Mane, and a Skin as soft as Silk : But, Sir, she • passes balf her Life at her Glass, and almoft ruins me in · Ribbons. For my own Part, I am a plain handicrafc • Man, and in Danger of breaking by her Laziness and Ex• pensiveness. Pray, Master, tell me in your next Paper, i whether I may not expect of her so much Drudgery as " to take Care of her family, and curry her Hide in case of Refusal.

Your loving Friend,

Barnaby Brittle.


Cheapside, October 30. "I Am mightily pleased with the Humour of the Cat, :1 be so kind as to enlarge upon that Subject.

Yours till Death,

Josiah Henpeck P.S. “ You must know I am married to a Grimalkiri.


- Wapping, Oktober 31, 'TVER since your Spectator of Tuesday last came 'L our Family, my Husband is pleased to call me his Oceana, because the foolish old Poet that you have tranfla• ted says, That the Souls of some Women are made of Sea• Water. This, it seems, has encouraged my Šatce-Box to • be witty upon me. When I am angry, he cries Pr'ythee • my Dear be calm; when I chide one of my Servants, Pr'y• thee Child do not bluster. He had the Impudence about an • Hour ago to tell me, That he was a Seafaring Man, and

must expect to divide bis Life between Storm and Sunshine. • When I beftir my self with any Spirit in my Family, it is

high seain bis Houfe,; and when I sit still without doing

any Thing, his Affairs forsooth are Wind-bound. When • I ask him whether it rains, he makes Answer, It is no • Matter, so that it be fair Weather within Doors. In • short, Sir, I cannot speak my Mind freely to him, but I • either (well or rage, or do something that is not fit for a ! civil Woman to hear. Pray Mr. SPECTATOR, fince you " are so Marp upon other women, let us know what • Materials your Wife is made of, if you have one. I sup


pose you would make us a Parcel of poor- fpirited • tame insipid Creaturess but, Sir, I would have you to • know, we have as good Passions in us as your felf, r and that a Woman was never defigned to be a Milk


• Sop:


No 212. Friday, November 2.

Eripe turpi Colla jugo, liber, liber dic, sum age



I Never look upon my dear Wife, but I think of the 51 · Happiness Sir ROGER DE COVERLE Y en

.joys, in having such a Friend as you to expose in • proper Colours the Cruelty and Perverseness of his

Miftress. I have very often wished you visited in our • Family, and were acquainted with my Spouse; she would afford you for some Months at least Matter e

nough for one! Spectator a Week. Since we are nof so • happy be of your Acquaintance, give me Leave to • repre. you our own present Circumstances as well

as I Writing. You are to know then that I am I not of a very different Constitucion from Nathaniel Heno rooft, whom you have larely recorded in your Specula• tions; and have a Wife who makes a more cyrannical • Use of the Knowledge of my easy Temper than that Lady ' ever pretended to. We had not been a Month married, « when she found in me a certain Pain to give Offence, • and an Indolence that made me bear little Inconveni• ences rather than dispute about them. From this Ob• fervation it foon came to pass, that if I offered to go « abroad, she would get between me and the Door, kiss • me, and say she could not pire with me; and then dowa o again I far. In a Day or two after this first pleasant • Step towards confining me, she declared to me, that I Vol. III.

• yas was all the world to her, and she thought the ought ! to be all the World to me. If, said she, my Dear . loves me as much as I love him, he will never be - tired of my Coinpany. This Declaration was followed ... by my being denied to all my Acquaintance; and it • very soon came to that pass, that to give an Answer • at the Door before my Face, the Servants would ask • her whether I was within or not; and The would "answer No with great Fondness, and tell me I was a ' good Dear. I will not enumerate more little Circum

! stances to give you a livelier Sense of my. Condition; .6 but tell you in general, that from such Steps as these

' at first, I now live the Life of a Prisoner of State; - my Letters are opened, and I have not the Use of Pen, į Ink, and Paper but in her Presence. I never go abroad • exccpt she sometimes takes me with her in her Coach .6 to take the Air, if it may be called fo, when we

• drive, as we generallý do, with the Glasses up. I have . over heard my Servants lament my Condition, but

• they dare not bring me Messages without her Know. „s ledge, because they doubt my Resolution to Aand by • 'em. In the midft of this infipid Way of Life, an • old Acquaintance of mine, Tom Meggot, who is a Fa&vourite with her, and allowed to visit me in her Com« pany because he fings prettily, has roused me to rebell,

• and conveyed his Intelligence to me in the following .• Manner. My Wife is a great Pretender to Mufick, • and very ignorant of it; but far gone in the Italian • Tafte. Tom goes to Armstrong, the famous fine Wrio „ ter of Musick, and desires him to put this Sentence of Tully in the Scale of an Italian Air, and write it out for • my Spouse from him. An ille mihi liber cui mulier imperat? Cui leges imponit, præfcribit, jubet, vetat quod zie 'detur? Qui nihil ini peranti negare, nihil recufare audet? Poscit? dandum eft. Vocat ? veniendum. Ejicit? abe "undum. Minitatur ? extimiscendum. Does he live like a Gentleman who is commanded by a Woman? He to whom me gives Law, grants and denies what she pleases? who can neither deny ber any thing she asks, or refuse to do

any Thing she commanils ?

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

TO be short, my Wife was extremely pleased with .it, faid the Italian was the only Language for Musick; * and admired how wonderfully tender the Sentiment ( was, and how pretty the Aecent is of that Language, ' with the rest that is said by Rote on that. Occasion. · Mr. Meggot is sent for to sing this Air, which he per

forms with mighty Applause; and my Wife is in £c• stacy on the Occasion, and glad to find, by my being • so much pleased, that I was at last come into the No. • tion of the Italian; for, said she, it grows upon one • when one once come to know a little of the Lan• guage ; and pray, Mr. Meggot, sing again those Notes,

Nihil imperanti negare, nihil recusare. You may be

lieve I was not a little delighted with my friend Tom's Expedient to alarm me, and in Obedience to • his Summons I give all this Story thus at large; and • I am resolved, when this appears in the Spectator, to • declare for my self. The Manner of the Insurrection . I contrive by your Means, which thall be no other • than that Tom Meggot, who is at our Tea-Table eve"ry Morning, shall read it to us; and if my Dear can • take the Hint, and say not one Word, but let this • be the beginning of a new Life without further Exsplanation; it is very well; for as soon as the Spectator

is read out, I shall, without more ado, call for the • Coach, name the Hour when I shall be at home, if I • come at all, if I do not, they may go to Dinner. If (my Spouse only swells and says nothing, Tom and I I go out together, and all is well, as I said before; but

if she begins to command or expoftulare, you shall in • my next to you receive a full Account of her Refi• stance and Submission, for submit the dear Thing i mult to,

Your most obedient humble Servant,

Anthony Freeman. • I hope I need not tell you that I desire this may be in your very next.

12 : Saturday,


« PreviousContinue »