A Man must have Virtue in him, before he will enter upon the Reading of a Seneca or an Epictetus. The very Title of a Moral Treatife has fomething in it auftere and fhocking to the Careless and Inconfiderate.

FOR this Reason several unthinking Perfons fall in my way, who would give no Attention to Lectures delivered with a Religious Seriousness or a Philofophick Gravity. They are infnared into Sentiments of Wisdom and Virtue when they do not think of it; and if by that means they arrive only at fuch a Degree of Confideration as may difpofe them to liften to more ftudied and elaborate Difcourfes, I fhall not think my Speculations useless. I might likewife obferve, that the Gloominefs in which fometimes the Minds of the best Men are involved, very often ftands in need of fuch little Incitements to Mirth and Laughter, as are apt to difperfe Melancholy, and put our Faculties in good Humour. To which fome will add, that the British Climate, more than any other, makes Entertainments of this Nature in a manner necessary.

IF what I have here faid does not recommend, it will at least excufe, the Variety of my Speculations. I would not willingly Laugh but in order to Inftruct, or if I fometimes fail in this Point, when my Mirth ceases to be Inftructive, it fhall never ceafe to be Innocent. A fcrupulous Conduct in this Particular, has, perhaps, more Merit in it than the Generality of Readers imagine; did they know how many Thoughts occur in a Point of Humour, which a difcreet Author in Modesty fuppreffes; how many Stroaks of Raillery present themselves, which could not fail to please the ordinary Tafte of Mankind, but are ftifled in their Birth by reason of fome remote Tendency which they carry in them to corrupt the Minds of those who read them; did they know how many Glances of Ill-nature are induftriously avoided for fear of doing Injury to the Reputation of another, they would be to think kindly of thofe Writers who endeavour to make themselves Diverting without being Immoral. One may apply to these Authors that Paffage in Waller,

Poets

Poets lofe half the Praife they would have got,
Were it but known what they difcreetly blot.

As nothing is more eafy than to be a Wit, with all the above-mentioned Liberties, it requires fome Genius and Invention to appear fuch without them.

WHAT I have here faid is not only in regard to the Publick, but with an Eye to my particular Correfpondent who has fent me the following Letter, which I have castrated in fome Places upon thefe Confiderations.

SIR,

HAVING lately feen your Difcourfe upon a Match ⚫ of Grinning, I cannot forbear giving you an Ac. count of a Whistling Match, which, with many others, 'I was entertained with about three Years fince at the Bath. The Prize was a Guinea, to be conferred upon the ableft Whiftler, that is, on him who could Whistle cleareft, and go through his Tune without Laughing, 'to which at the fame Time he was provoked by the 'antick Poftures of a Merry-Andrew, who was to ftand upon the Stage and play his Tricks in the Eye of the Performer. There were three Competitors for the C Ring. The firft was a Plow-man of a very promifing C Afpect; his Features were steady, and his Mufcles compofed in fo inflexible a Stupidity, that upon his first Appearance every one gave the Guinea for loft. The Pickled Herring however found the Way to shake him, for upon his Whistling a Country Jigg, this unlucky Wagg danced to it with fuch Variety of Distortions and C Grimaces, that the Country-man could not forbear fmiling upon him, and by that means spoiled his Whistle and loft the Prize.

с

.

THE next that mounted the Stage was an Under< Citizen of the Bath, a Perfon remarkable among the inferior People of that Place for his great Wisdom and his broad Band. He contracted his Mouth with much Gravity, and, that he might difpofe his Mind to be C more ferious than ordinary, begun the Tune of the Children in the Wood, and went through Part of it with

⚫ good

good Succefs; when on a fudden the Wit at his Elbow, who had appeared wonderfully grave and attentive for fome time, gave him a Touch upon the left Shoulder, ⚫ and stared him in the Face with fo bewitching a Grinn, that the Whiftler relaxed his Fibres into a Kind of Simper, and at length burft out into an open Laugh. The third who entered the Lifts was a Foot-man, who in Defiance of the Merry-Andrew, and all his Arts, whiftled a Scotch Tune and an Italian Sonata, with so settled C a Countenance, that he bore away the Prize, to the great • Admiration of fome Hundreds of Perfons, who, as well C as my felf, were present at this Tryal of Skill. Now, Sir, I humbly conceive, whatever you have determined of the Grinners, the Whiftlers ought to be encouraged, ❝ not only as their Art is practifed without Distortion, but as it improves Country Musick, promotes Gravity, and teaches ordinary People to keep their Countenances, if they fee any thing ridiculous in their Betters; befides that, it feems an Entertainment very particularly adapted to the Bath, as it is ufual for a Rider to whistle to his Horse when he would make his Waters pass.

I am, Sir, &c.

POSTSCRIPT.

AFTER having difpatched these two important Points of Grinning and Whiftling, I hope you will oblige the World with fome Reflections upon Yawning, as I have feen it practifed on a Twelfth-Night among other Christmas Gambols, at the House of a very worthy Gentleman, who always entertains his Tenants at that Time of the Year. They Yawn for a Cheshire Cheese, and begin about Mid-night, when the whole Company is difpofed to be drowsy. He that Yawns wideft, and at the fame Time fo naturally as to produce the most Yawns among his Spectators, carries home the Cheese. If you handle this Subject as you ought, I queftion not but your Paper will fet Half the Kingdom a Yawning, tho' I dare promise you it will never make any Body fall afleep,

L

Wednesday,

TH

- Delirant Reges plectuntar Achivi.

Hor.

HE following Letter has fo much Weight and good Senfe, that I cannot forbear inferting it, tho' it relates to an hardened Sinner, whom I have very lit tle Hopes of reforming, viz. Lewis XIV. of France.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'A'

MIDST the Variety of Subjects of which you ' have treated, I could with it had fallen in your C Way to expofe the Vanity of Conquefts. This Thought ' would naturally lead one to the French King, who has been generally efteemed the greatest Conquerour of our Age, till her Majefty's Armies had torn from him fo many of his Countries, and deprived him of the Fruit of all his former Victories. For my own Part, if I were to draw his Picture, I fhould be for taking ' him no lower than to the Peace of Refwick, just at the End of his Triumphs, and before his Reverse of Fortune; and even then I fhould not forbear thinking his Ambition had been vain and unprofitable to himself and ⚫ his People.

C.

.

AS for himself, it is certain he can have gained nothing by his Conquefts, if they have not rendered him • Mafter of more Subjects, more Riches, or greater PowWhat I fhall be able to offer upon these Heads, I ' refolve to submit to your Consideration.

C

er.

'TO begin then with his Increase of Subjects. From the Time he came of Age, and has been a Manager for himself, all the People he had acquired were fuch only as he had reduced by his Wars, and were left in his Poffeffion by the Peace; he had conquered not above one third Part of Flanders, and confequently no more than one third Part of the Inhabitants of that Province.

ABOUT

ABOUT 100 Years ago the Houses in that Country were all numbered, and by a juft Computation the Inhabitants of all Sorts could not then exceed 750000 Souls. And if any Man will confider the Defolation by • almost perpetual Wars, the numerous Armies that have lived almoft ever fince at Difcretion upon the People,, ⚫ and how much of their Commerce has removed for more Security to other Places, he will have little Reafon to imagine that their Numbers have fince increased; and therefore with one third Part of that Province that • Prince can have gained no more than one third Part of the Inhabitants, or 250000 new Subjects, even tho' it fhould be fuppofed they were all contented to live still in their native Country, and transfer their Allegiance to a new Mafter.

THE Fertility of this Province, its convenient Situa ⚫tion for Trade and Commerce, its Capacity for furnish⚫ing Employment and Subfiftence to great Numbers,

and the vaft Armies that have been maintained here, make it credible that the remaining two Thirds of • Flanders are equal to all his other Conquefts; and confequently by all he cannot have gained more than 750000 new Subjects, Men, Women and Children, efpecially if a Deduction fhall be made of fuch as have retired from the Conqueror to live under their old Mafters.

C

IT is Time now to fet his Lofs against his Profit, and to fhew for the new Subjects he had acquired, how many old ones he had loft in the Acquifition: I 'think that in his Wars he has feldom brought lefs into

the Field in all Places than 200000 fighting Men, be'fides what have been left in Garrifons; and I think the 'common Computation is, that of an Army, at the latter End of a Campaign, without Sieges or Battle, fcarce four Fifths can be muftered of those that came into the Field at the Beginning of the Year. His Wars · at feveral Times till the laft Peace have held about 20 • Years; and if 40000 yearly loft, or a fifth Part of his Armies, are to be multiply'd by 20, he cannot have loft lefs than 8ooooo of his old Subjects, all able-bo

dy'd