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good Success; when on a sudden the Wit at his Elbow, who had appeared wonderfully grave and attentive for
some time, gave him a Touch upon the left Shoulder, « and stared him in the Face with so bewitching a Grinn,
that the Whistler relaxed his Fibres into a Kind of Sim(per, and at length burst out into an open Laugh. The • third who entered the Lifts was a Foot-man, who in « Defiance of the Merry- Andrew, and all his Arts, wbift< led a Scotch Tune and an Italian Sonata, with so settled ra Countenance, that he bore away the Prize, to the great « Admiration of some Hundreds of Persons, who, as well
as my self, were present at this Tryal of Skill. Now, “Sir, I humbly conceive, whatever you have determined
of the Grinners, the Whistlers ought to be encouraged, not only as their Art is practised without Distortion, but as it improves Country Musick, promotes Gravity, and ( teaches ordinary People to keep their Countenances, if
they see any thing ridiculous in their Betters; besides
that, it seems an Entertainment very particularly adaptsed to the Bath, as it is usual for a Rider to whistle to his Horse when he would make his Waters pass.
I am, Sir, &c.
POSTSCRIPT. Ć AFTER having dispatched these two important Points of Grinning and Whistling, I hope you will oblige the World with some Reflections upon Yawning, as I have seen it practised on a Twelfth-Night among other Christmas Gambols, at the House of a very wor
thy Gentleman, who always entertains his Tenants at o that Time of the Year. They Yawn for a Cheshire « Cheese, and begin about Mid-night, when the whole • Company is disposed to be drowsy. He tbat Yawns widest, and at the same Time so naturally as to produce
the moft Yawns among his Spectators, carries home the • Cheese. If you handle this Subject as you ought, I
question not but your Paper will sét Half the Kingdom a. " Yawning, tho' I dare promise you it will never make
any Body fall afleep,
Ne 180. Wednesday, September 26.
Delirant Reges plectuntar Achivi. Hor. The following Letter has so much Weight and good
Sense, that I cannot forbear inserting it, tho' it re
lates to an hardened Sinner, whom I have very little Hopes of reformiag, viz. Lewis XIV. of France.
Mr. SPECTATOR, CAMIDST the Variety of Subjects of which you
11 • have treated, I could wish it had fallen in your Way to expose the Vanity of Conquests. This Thought I would naturally lead one to the French King, who has
been generally esteemed the greatest Conquerour of S our Age, till her Majesty's Armies had torn from him - so many of his Countries, and deprived him of the « Fruit of all his former Victories. For my own Part, Cijf I were to draw bis Picture, I should be for taking
him no lower than to the Peace of Rewick, just at the ( End of his Triumphs, and before his Reverse of For-' "tune; and even then I should not forbear thinking his
Ambition had been vain and unprofitable to himself and « his people.
'AS for himself, it is certain he can have gained no.' thing by his Conquests, if they have not rendered him
Malter of more Subjects, more Riches, or greater Pow. cer. What I shall be able to offer upon these Heads, I s resolve to submit to your Confideration.
To begin then with his Increase of Subjects. From (the Time he came of Age, and has been a Manager for
himself, all the People he had acquired were such only as he had reduced by his Wars, and were left in his
Poffeflion by the Peace; he had conquered not above ( one third Part of Flanders, and consequently no more chan one third Part of the Inhabitants of that Province.
• ABOUT 100 Years ago the Houses in that Country ' were all numbered, and by a juft Computation the In• habitants of all sorts could not then exceed 750000 « Souls. And if any Man will consider the Desolation by • almost perpetual Wars, the numerous Armies that have • lived almost ever since at Discretion upon the People, • and how much of their Commerce has removed for e more Security to other places, he will have little Reason
to imagine that their Numbers have since increased; • and therefore with one third Part of that Province that i
Prince can have gained no more than one third Part of " the Inhabitants, or 250000 new Subjects, even tho' it • Mould be supposed they were all contented to live still
in their native Country, and transfer their Allegiance to a new Master. :"THE Fertility of this Province, its convenient Situa. • tion for Trade and Commerce, its Capacity for furnish<ing Employment and Subsistence to great Numbers, • and the vast Armies that have been maintained here, I make it credible that the remaining two Thirds of • Flanders are equal to all his other Conquests; and con"fequently by all he cannot have gained more than 6750000 new Subjects, Men, Women and Children, i especially if a Deduction shall be made of such as haye • retired from the Conqueror to live under their old Ma.
sters. ...IT is Time now to set his Loss against his Profit,
and to shew for the new Subjects he had acquired,
how many old ones he had lost in the Acquisition: [ • think that' in his Wars he has seldom brought lefs into
the Field in all Places than 200000 fighting Men, be
fides what have been left in Garrisons; and I think the • common Computation is, that of an Army, at the • latter End of a Campaign, without Sicges or Battle, i scarce four Fifths can be mustered of those that came • into the Field at the Beginning of the Year. His Wars ?'at several Times' till the last Peace have held about 20 " Years; and if 40000 yearly lost, or a fifth Part of his
Armies, are to be multiply'd by 20, he cannot have loft less than 800000 of his old Subjects, all able-bo
• dy'd Men, a greater Number than the new Subjects he
equally divided the whole Mass of Mankind into diffe.. rent Sexes, that every Woman may have her Hur
! band, and that both may equally contribute to the Con• tinuance of the Species. It follows then, that for all
" the Men that bave been loft, as many Women must .' have lived single, and it were but Charity to believe
• they have not done all the Service they were capable " of doing in their Generation. In so long a Course
S of Years great part of them must have died, and all . the rest must go off at last without leaving any Repre. • fentatives behind. By this Account he must have lost not.
• only 800000 Subjeéts but double that Number, and all 5. the Increase that was reasonably to be expected from
• IT is said in the last War there was a Famine in his * Kingdom, which swept away two Millions of his Peo• ple. This is hardly credible: if the Loss was only of
one fifth Part of that Sum, it was very great. But 'tis · no wonder there should be Famine, where so much • of the People's Substance is taken away for the King's • Use, that they have not sufficient left to provide against • Accidents; where so many of the Men are taken from • the Plough to serve the King in his Wars, and a great • part of the Tillage is left to the weaker Hands of so ma'ny Women and Children. Whatever was the Loss, it ! must undoubtedly be placed to the Account of his Am
bition. · ' AND so must also the Destruction or Banishment of
' 3 or 400000 of his reformed Subjects ; he could have s no other Reasons for valuing those Lives so very cheap, . but only to recommend himself to the Bigotry of the Spa, nish Nation.
• HOW should there be Industry in a Country where • all Property is precarious ? What Subject will fow • his Land that his Prince may reap the whole Harveft? « Parsimony and Frugality, must be Strangers to such ' a People; for will any i Man fave to Day what he has Realon to fear will be taken from him to Morrow ?
• And where is the Encouragement for marrying? Will 6 any Man think of raising Children without any Affus rance of Cloathing for their Backs, or so much as Food • for their Bellies ? And thus by his fatal Ambition he must « have lefsened the Number of his Subjects not only by
Slaughter and Destruction, but by preventing their very • Births, he has done as much as was possible towards destroying Pofterity itself.
Is this then the great, the invincible Lewis? This « the immortal Man, the tout-puissant, or the Almighty, • as his Flatterers have called him ? Is this the Man that
is so celebrated for his Conquests? For every Subject i he has acquired, has he not lost three that were his In• beritance? Are not his Troops fewer, and those neither « so well fed, or cloathed, or paid, as they were formerly, • tho he has now so much greater Cause to exert himself? 6 And what can be the Reason of all this, but that his Re
venue is a great deal less, his Subjects are either poorer, • or not so many to be plundered by constant Taxes for his • Use? ..IT is well for him he bad found out a way to steal • a Kingdom; if he had gone on conquering as he did
before, bis Ruin had been long since finished. This « brings to my Mind a Saying of King Pyrrhus, after he • had a second Time beat the Romans in a pitched Battle, • and was complimented by his Generals ; Tes, says he, • such another victory and I am quite undone. And since « 'I have mentioned Pyrrhus, I will end with a very • good, though known Story of this ambitious mad Man. . When he had shewn the utmoft Fondness for his Ex« pedition against the Romans, Cyneas his chief Minister • asked him, what he proposed to himself by this War? • Why, says Pyrrhus, to conquer the Romans, and reduce
all Italy to my Obedience. What then, says Cyneas ? "To país over into Sicily, says Pyrrhus, and then all the • Sicilians must be our Subjects. And what does your • Majesty intend next ? Why truly, says the King, to • conquer Carthage, and make my self Master of all A. • frica. And what, Sir, says the Minister, is to be the • End of all your Expeditions? Why then, says the King, • for the rest of our Lives we'll sit down to good Wine.