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To be sure makes a difference.

I know what is what:

Tra.
And you, who're a man of the gay world, no less
Than a poet of t'other, may easily guess

That I never could mean, by a word, to offend

A genius like you, and, moreover, my friend.

Ink. No doubt; you by this time should know what

is due

To a man of- -but come—let us shake hands.

Tra.

And you know, my dear fellow, how heartily I,
Whatever you publish, am ready to buy.

You knew,

120

Ink. That's my bookseller's business; I care not for

sale;

Indeed the best poems at first rather fail.

There were Renegade's epics, and Botherby's plays,1
And my own grand romance-

Tra.

Had its full share of praise.

I myself saw it puffed in the "Old Girl's Review." 2
Ink. What Review?

Tra.

'Tis the English "Journal de Trevoux ;" 3 A clerical work of our Jesuits at home.

1. [The term "renegade" was applied to Southey by William Smith, M.P., in the House of Commons, March 14, 1817 (vide ante, p. 482). Sotheby's plays, Ivan, The Death of Darnley, Zamorin and Zama, were published under the title of Five Tragedies, in 1814.]

2. [Compare

"I've bribed my Grandmother's Review the British."

Don Juan, Canto I. stanza ccix. line 9. And see "Letter to the Editor of 'My Grandmother's Review,' Letters, 1900, iv. Appendix VII. pp. 465-470. The reference may be to a review of the Fourth Canto of Childe Harold, which appeared in the British Review, January, 1818, or to a more recent and, naturally, most hostile notice of Don Juan (No. xviii. 1819).]

3. [The Journal de Trévoux, published under the title of Mémoires de Trévoux (1701-1775, 265 vols. 120), edited by members of the Society of Jesus, was an imitation of the Journal des Savants. The original matter, the Mémoires, contain a mine of information for the student of the history of French Literature; but the reviews, critical notices, etc., to which Byron refers, were of a highly polemical and partisan character, and were the subject of attack on the part of Protestant and free-thinking antagonists. In a letter to Moore, dated Ravenna, June 22, 1821, Byron says, "Now, if we were but together a little to combine our Journal of Trevoux!" (Letters, 1901, v. 309). The use of the same illustration in letter and poem is curious and noteworthy.]

Have you never yet seen it?

Ink.

That pleasure's to come.

Why so?

I have heard people say

Tra. Make haste then.

Ink.

Tra.

That it threatened to give up the ghost t'other day.1 130
Ink. Well, that is a sign of some spirit.
Tra.
No doubt.
Shall you be at the Countess of Fiddlecome's rout?

Ink. I've a card, and shall go: but at present, as soon As friend Scamp shall be pleased to step down from the

moon,

(Where he seems to be soaring in search of his wits),
And an interval grants from his lecturing fits,
I'm engaged to the Lady Bluebottle's collation,
To partake of a luncheon and learn'd conversation :
'Tis a sort of reunion for Scamp, on the days

Of his lecture, to treat him with cold tongue and praise.
And I own, for my own part, that 'tis not unpleasant. 141
Will you go? There's Miss Lilac will also be present.
Tra. That "metal's attractive."

Ink.

No doubt-to the pocket. Tra. You should rather encourage my passion than

shock it.

But let us proceed; for I think by the hum

Ink. Very true; let us go, then, before they can come,
Or else we'll be kept here an hour at their levee,
On the rack of cross questions, by all the blue bevy.

Hark! Zounds, they'll be on us; I know by the drone
Of old Botherby's spouting ex-cathedrâ tone."
Aye! there he is at it. Poor Scamp! better join
Your friends, or he'll pay you back in your own coin.
Tra. All fair; 'tis but lecture for lecture.
Ink.

150

That's clear.

But for God's sake let's go, or the Bore will be here.
Come, come: nay, I'm off.

[Exit INKEL.

1. [The publication of the British Review was discontinued in 1825.] 2. [For Botherby," vide ante, Beppo, stanza lxxii. line 7, p. 182, note 1; and with the ex-cathedrâ tone" compare "that awful note of woe," Vision of Judgment, stanza xc. line 4, ante, p. 518.]

"

Tra.

You are right, and I'll follow ;

'Tis high time for a “Sic me servavit Apollo."1

And yet we shall have the whole crew on our kibes,'
Blues, dandies, and dowagers, and second-hand scribes,
All flocking to moisten their exquisite throttles
With a glass of Madeira 3 at Lady Bluebottle's.

160

[Exit TRACY.

ECLOGUE THE SECOND.

An Apartment in the House of LADY BLUEBOTTLE.— A Table prepared.

SIR RICHARD BLUEBOTTLE solus.

Was there ever a man who was married so sorry?
Like a fool, I must needs do the thing in a hurry.
My life is reversed, and my quiet destroyed;
My days, which once passed in so gentle a void,
Must now, every hour of the twelve, be employed;
The twelve, do I say?-of the whole twenty-four,
Is there one which I dare call my own any more?
What with driving and visiting, dancing and dining,
What with learning, and teaching, and scribbling, and
shining,

1. ["Sotheby is a good man, rhymes well (if not wisely), but is a bore. He seizes you by the button. One night of a rout at Mrs. Hope's, he had fastened upon me (something about Agamemnon, or Orestes, or some of his plays), notwithstanding my symptoms of manifest distress (for I was in love, and just nicked a minute, when neither mothers, nor husbands, nor rivals, nor gossips, were near my then idol, who was beautiful as the Statues of the Gallery where we stood at the time)-Sotheby I say had seized upon me by the button and the heart-strings, and spared neither. William Spencer, who likes fun, and don't dislike mischief, saw my case, and coming up to us both, took me by the hand, and pathetically bade me farewell; for,' said he, I see it is all over with you.' Sotheby then went way. "Sic_me servavit Apollo.'"-Detached Thoughts, 1821, Letters, 1901, v. 433.]

2. [For Byron's misapprehension concerning "kibes," see Childe Harold, Canto I. stanza lxvii. line 5, Poetical Works, 1899, ii. 64, note 3.]

3. "Where can the animals who write this trash have been bred, to fancy that ladies drink bumpers of Madeira at luncheon?"—Literary Register, May 3, 1823.]

In science and art, I'll be cursed if I know

Myself from my wife; for although we are two,

ΤΟ

Yet she somehow contrives that all things shall be done In a style which proclaims us eternally one.

But the thing of all things which distresses me more Than the bills of the week (though they trouble me sore)

Is the numerous, humorous, backbiting crew

20

Of scribblers, wits, lecturers, white, black, and blue,
Who are brought to my house as an inn, to my cost-
For the bill here, it seems, is defrayed by the host-
No pleasure! no leisure! no thought for my pains,
But to hear a vile jargon which addles my brains;
A smatter and chatter, gleaned out of reviews,
By the rag, tag, and bobtail, of those they call "BLUES;"
A rabble who know not- -But soft, here they come !
Would to God I were deaf! as I'm not, I'll be dumb.

Enter LADY BLUEBOTTLE, MISS LILAC, LADY BLUEMOUNT, MR. BOTHERBY, INKEL, TRACY, MISS MAZARINE, and others, with SCAMP the Lecturer, etc.,

etc.

Lady Blueb. Ah! Sir Richard, good morning: I've brought you some friends.

Sir Rich. (bows, and afterwards aside). If friends, they're the first.

Lady Blueb.

66

But the luncheon attends.

I pray ye be seated, sans cérémonie."

Mr. Scamp, you're fatigued; take your chair there, next

me.

[They all sit.

Sir Rich. (aside). If he does, his fatigue is to come. Lady Blueb.

Mr. Tracy

Lady Bluemount-Miss Lilac-be pleased, pray, to place

ye;

And you, Mr. Botherby

Both.

I obey.

Oh, my dear Lady,

Lady Blueb. Mr. Inkel, I ought to upbraid ye : You were not at the lecture.

31

Ink.

Excuse me, I was;

But the heat forced me out in the best part-alas!
And when-

Lady Blueb. To be sure it was broiling; but then
You have lost such a lecture !

Both.

The best of the ten.

Tra. How can you know that? there are two more.
Both.

I defy him to beat this day's wondrous applause.
The very walls shook.

Ink.

Oh, if that be the test,

Because

I allow our friend Scamp has this day done his best.
Miss Lilac, permit me to help you ;-a wing?

40

Miss Lil. No more, sir, I thank you. Who lectures

next spring?

Both, Dick Dunder.

Ink.

Miss Lil.

That is, if he lives.

And why not?

With pleasure.

Ink. No reason whatever, save that he's a sot. Lady Bluemount! a glass of Madeira?

Lady Bluem.

Ink. How does your friend Wordswords, that Winder

mere treasure?

Does he stick to his lakes, like the leeches he sings,1 And their gatherers, as Homer sung warriors and kings? Lady Bluem. He has just got a place.2

Ink.

Lady Bluem.

As a footman?

For shame!

Nor profane with your sneers so poetic a name.

51

Ink. Nay, I meant him no evil, but pitied his master; For the poet of pedlers 'twere, sure, no disaster To wear a new livery; the more, as 'tis not

The first time he has turned both his creed and his coat. Lady Bluem. For shame! I repeat. If Sir George could but hear

1. [Wordsworth's Resolution and Independence, originally entitled The Leech-gatherer, was written in 1802, and published in 1807.]

2. [Wordsworth was appointed Distributor of Stamps for the County of Westmoreland, in March, 1813. Lord Lonsdale and Sir George Beaumont were "suretys for the due execution of the trust."-Life of William Wordsworth, by William Knight, 1889, ii. 210.]

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