Things, tell me, who is meant by the Diseas'd, the Sick, the Broken, the Driven away, and the Lost? And whether the Prophecy in this Chapter be accomplished, or yet to come to pafs? And thou wilt oblige thy Friend, though unknown. His THIS Matter is too facred for this Paper; but I cannot fee what Injury it would do to any Clergyman to have it in his Eye, and believe all that are taken from him by his Want of Industry,are to be demanded of him. I dare fay, Favonius has very few of thefe Loffes. Favonius, in the midst of a Thousand impertinent Affailants of the Divine Truths, is an undisturbed Defender of them. He protects all under his Care, by the Clearness of his Understanding, and the Example of his Life: He vifits dying Men with the Air of a Man who hoped for his own Diffolution, and enforces in others a Contempt of this Life, by his own Expectation of the next. Voice and Behaviour are the lively Images of a compofed and well-govern'dZeal. None can leave him for the frivolous Jargon uttered by the ordinary Teachers a mong the Diffenters, but fuch who cannot distinguish Vociferation from Eloquence, and Argument from Railing. He is fo great a Judge of Mankind, and touches our Paffions with fo fuperior a Command, that he who deferts his Congregation must be a Stranger to the Dictates of Nature as well as to thofe of Grace. BUT Imuft proceed to other Maters, and refolve the Questions of other Enquirers; as in the following: SIR, Heddington, Sept. 19. PON reading that Part of the Tatler, Number 69. where Mention is made of a certain Chapel-Clerk, there arofe a Difpute, and that produced a Wager, whether by the Words Chapel-Clerk, was meant a Clergyman ar a Layman? By a Clergyman, I mean one in holy Orders. It was not that any Body in the Company pretended to guess who the Perfon was ; but fome afferted, that by Mr. Bickerftaff's Words must be meant a Clergyman only: Others faid, that thofe Words might have been faid of any Clerk of a Parish; and fome of them more properly, of a Layman. The Wager is half a Dozen Bottles of Wine; in which (if you pleafe to determine it) your Health, and all the Family of the Staffs, shall certainly be drank; and you will fingular ly ly oblige another very confiderable Family, I mean that of Your humble Servant's, The Trencher-Caps. Ir is very customary with us learned Men, to find Perplexities where no one elfe can see any. The honeft Gentlemen who writ me this, are much at a Lofs to understand what I thought very plain; and in Return, their Epiftle is fo plain, that I can't understand it. This, perhaps, is at firft a little like Nonfenfe; but I defire all Perfons to examine thefe Writings with an Eye to my being far gone in the Occult Sciences, and remember, that it is inthe Privilege of the Learned and the Great to be understood when they please: For as a Man of much Bufinefs may be allowed to leave Company when he pleases; fo one of high Learning may be above your Capacity when he thinks fit. But without further Speeches or Fooling, I muft inform my Friends the Trencher-Caps in plain Words, that I meant in the place they fpeak of, a drunken Clerk of a Church: And I will return their Civility among my Relations, and drink their Healths as they do ours. N° 73. I CANNOT exprefs the Confufion the following Letter gave me, which I received by Sir Thomas this Morning. There cannot be a greater Surprize, than to meet with fudden Enmity in the midst of a familiar and friendly Correfpondence; which is my Cafe in Relation to this Epiftle: And I have no Way to purge my felf to the World, but publishing both it and my Anfwer. Mr. Bickerstaff, You than than you; and rot me, I have more Money than most Fools I have bubbled. All Perfons of Quality admire me; though, rot me, if I value a Blue Garter any more than I do a Blue Apron. Every Body knows I am brave; therefore have a care how you provoke Monoculus. SIR, D The ANSWER. ID I not very well know your Hand, as well by the Spelling as the Character, I should not have believed yours of to-day had come from you. But when all Men are acquainted, that I have had all my Intelligence from you relating to your Fraternity, let them pronounce who is the more impudent. I confefs I have had a peculiar Tenderness for you, by Reason of that luxuriant Eloquence of which you are Mafter, and have treated you accordingly, for which you have turned your florid Violence againft your ancient Friend and School-Fellow. You know in your own Confcience, you gave me Leave to touch upon your Vein of Speaking, provided I hid your other Talents; in which I believed you fincere, because, like the ancient Simon, you have before now fuffer'd your felf to be defac'd to carry on a Plot, Befides, Sir, Rot me, Language for a Perfon of your prefent Station. Fie, fie, I am really afham'd for you, and fhall no more depend upon your Intelligence. Keep your Temper, wash your Face, and go to Bed. Ifaac Bickerstaff. FOR ought I know, this Fellow may have confus'd the Defcription of the Pack, on Purpose to enfnare the Game, while I have all along believed he was deftroy ing them as well as my felf. But because they pretend to bark more than ordinary, I fhall let them fee, that I will not throw away the Whip, till they know better how to behave themselves. But I must not at the same Time omit the Praises of their OEconomy exprefs'd in the following Advice: Mr. Bickerstaff. T Sept. 17. HOUGH your Thoughts are at prefent em ployed upon the Tables of Fame, and mar thalling your illuftrious Dead, 'tis hoped the Living may may not be neglected, nor defrauded of their juft Honours: And fince you have begun to publifh to the World the great Sagacity and Vigilance of the Knights of the Induftry, it will be expected you fhould proceed to do fuftice to all the Societies of them you can be informed of, efpecially fince their own great Industry covers their Actions as much as poffible from that publick Notice which is their Due. Hidden Vice, and conceal'd Virtue, are much alike. BE pleafed therefore to let the following Memoirs have a Place in their Hiftory. IN a certain Part of the Town, famous for the frefheft Oyfters and the plaineft English, there is a Houfe, or rather a College, facred to Hofpitality, and the induftrious Arts. At the Entrance is hierogly phically drawn, a Cavalier contending with a Mon fter, with Jaws expanded, juft ready to devour him. HITHER the Brethren of the Industry refort but to avoid Oftentation, they wear no Habits of Dif tinction, and perform their Exercises with as little Noife and Shew as poffible. Here are no Under Graduates, but each is a Master of his Art. They are diftributed according to their various Talents, and de tach'd abroad in Parties, to divide the Labours of the Day. They have Dogs as well-nos'd and as fleet as any, and no Sportsmen fhew greater Activity. Some beat for the Game, fome hunt it, others come in at the Death; and my honeft Landlord makes very good Venifon-Sauce, and eats his Share of the Dinner. I woud fain purfue my Metaphors; but a venera ble Perfon who stands by me, and waits to bring you this Letter, and whom, by a certain Benevolence in his Look, I fufpect to be Pacolet, reproves me, and obliges me to write in plainer Terms, That the Socie ty had fixed their Eyes on a gay young Gentleman, who has lately fucceeded to a Title and an Estate; the the latter of which they judged would be very convenient for them. Therefore, after feveral Attempts to get into his Acquaintance, my Landlord finds an - VOL. II. G Op Opportunity to make his Court to a Friend of the young Spark's, in the following Manner: SIR, As I take you to be a Lover of Ingenuity and Plain-Dealing, I fhall speak very freely to you. In few Words then, you are acquainted with Sir Liberal Brisk. Providence has for our Emolument sent him a fair Eftate, for Men are not born for them felves. Therefore if you'll bring him to my House, "we will take Care of him, and you shall have half the Profits. There's Ace and Cutter will do his Business to a Hair, You'll tell me, perhaps, he's your Friend: I grant it, and 'tis for that I propofe it, to prevent his falling into ill Hands. We'll carve him like a Difh fit for the Gods, Not hew him like a Carcass fit for Hounds. IN fhort, there are to my certain Knowledge a Hundred Mouths open for him. Now if we can fe cure him to our felves, we fhall disappoint all thofe Rafcals that don't deferve him. Nay, you need not ftart at it, Sir, 'tis for your own Advantage. Befides, Partridge has caft me his Nativity, and I find by certain Destiny, his Oaks must be fell'd. THE Gentleman to whom this honeft Proposal was made, made little Anfwer; but faid he would confider of it, and immediately took Coach to find out the young Baronet, and told him all that had paffed, together with the new Salvo to fatisfy a Man's Confcience in facrificing his Friend. Sir Literal was fired, fwore a Dozen Oaths, drew his Sword, put it up again, call'd for his Man; beat him, and bid him fetch a Coach. His Friend asked him, What he defigned, and whither he was going? He anfwered, to ⚫ find out the Villains and fight them. To which his Friend agreed, and promifed to be his Second, on Condition he would firft divide his Eftate to them, and referve only a Proportion to himself, that fo he might have the Juftice of fighting his Equals. His next Refolution was to play with them, and let them fee he was not the Bubble they took him for. But he foon quitted that, and refolved at laft to tell Bickerstaff of them, and get them inrolled in the Order of the Industry, with this Caution to all young landed Knights |