too evident to infift on; yet it is true, there is a great deal of Charity in this Sort of Reajoning, whilft the Effects of those Crimes extend not beyond themfelves. But what Relation has this to your Proceedings? It is not a circumftantial Gueffing will ferve turn, for there are more than one to pretend to any of your Characters; but there muft at least be fomething that must amount to a nominal Defcription, before even common Fame can separate me from the rest of Mankind to dart at. A general Representation of an Action, either ridiculous or enormous, may make those winch who find too much Similitude in the Character with themselves to plead Not Guilty but none but a Witnefs to the Crime can charge them with the Guilt, whilst the Indictment is general, and the Offender has the Afylum of the whole World to protect him. Here can then be no Injustice, where no one is injured; for it is themselves must appropriate the Saddle, before Scandal can ride them.

Your Method then, in my Opinion, is no Way fubject to the Charge brought against it; but on the contrary, I believe this Advantage is too often drawn from it, that whilft we laugh at, or deteft, the uncertain Subject of the Satire, we often find fomething in the Error a Parallel to our felves, and being infenfibly drawn to the Comparison we would get rid of, we plunge deeper into the Mire, and Shame produces that which Advice has been too weak for ; and you, Sir, get Converts you never thought of.

As for defcending to Characters below the Dignity of Sa tire, what Men think are not beneath Commission, I must affure him, I think are not beneath Reproof: For as there is as much Folly in a ridiculous Deportment, as there is Enormity in a criminal one, fo neither the one nor the other ought to plead Exemption. The Kennel of Curs are as much Eng mies to the State, as Greg for his Confederacy; for as this betray'd our Government, fo the other does our Property, and one without the other is equally useless. As for the Aft of Oblivion he fo ftrenuously infifts on, Le Roy s'avifera is a fashionable Anfwer; and for his Modes of Panegyrick, the Hint was unneceffary,where Virtue need never ask twice for her Laurel. But as for his Reformation by Oppofites, I again must ask his Pardon, if I think the Effects of thefe Sort of Reafonings (by the Paucity of Converts) are too great an Argument, both of their Imbecility and Unfuccefsfulness,

fulness, to believe it will be any better than mispending of Time, by fufpending a Method that will turn more to Advantage, and which has no other Danger of lofing Ground, but by Difcontinuante. And as I am certain (of what he fuppofes) that your Lucubrations are intended for the publick Benefit, fo I hope you will not give them so great an Interruption, by laying afide the only Method that can render you beneficial to Mankind, and (among others) agreeable to, SIR,

Your humble Servant, &c.

St. James's Coffee-house, October 3.

LETTERS from the Camp of Havre of the 7th Inftant, N. S. advife, That the Trenches were open'd before Mons on the 27th of the laft Month, and the Approaches were carried on at two Attacks with great Application and Succefs, notwithstanding the Rains which had fallen; That the Befiegers had made themfelves Mafters of feveral Redoubts, and other Outworks, and had advanced the Approaches within ten Paces of the Counterfcarps of the Hornwork. Lieutenant-General Cadogan received a flight Wound in the Neck foon after opening the Trenches.

THE Enemy were throwing up Intrenchments between Quesnoy and Valenciennes, and the Chevalier de Luxemburgh was encamped near Charleroy with a Body of 10000 Men. Advices from Catalonia by the Way of Genoa import, That Count Staremberg having pafs'd the Segra, advanced towards Balaguier, which Place he took after a few Hours Refiftance, and made the Garrison, confifting of three Spanish Battallions, Prifoners of War. Letters from Bern fay, That the Army under the Command of Count Thaun had began to repafs the Mountains, and would fhortly evacuate Savoy.

Whereas Mr. Bickerstaff has received Intelligence, That a young Gentleman, who has taken my Difcourfes upon John Partridge and others in too literal a Senfe, and is fuing an elder Brother to an Ejectment; the aforesaid young Gentleman is hereby advised to drop his Action, no Man being efteemed dead in Law, who eats and drinks, and receives his Rents.

Thursday,

N° 77.

Thursday, October 6. 1709.

From my own Apartment, October 5.

S bad as the World is, I find by very ftrict Obfer vation upon Virtue and Vice, that if Men appeared no worse than they really are, I should have less Work than at prefent I am obliged to undertake for their Reformation. They have generally taken up a I kind of inverted Ambition, and affect even Faults and Imperfections of which they are innocent. The other Day in a Coffee-houfe I ftood by a young Heir, with a frefh, fanguine, and healthy Look, who entertained us with an Account of his Claps and his Diet-Drink; though, to my Knowledge, he is as found as any of his Tenants.

THIS Worthy Youth put me into Reflections upon that Subject and I obferved the fantastical Humour to be fo general, that there is hardly a Man who is not more or lefs tainted with it. The First of this Order of Men are the Valetudinarians, who are never in Health, but complain of Want of Stomach or Reft every Day till Noon, and then devour all which comes before them. Lady Dainty is convinced, that it is neceffary for a Gentlewoman to be out of Order; and to preferve that Character, fhe dines every Day in her Clofet at Twelve, that fhe may become her Table at Two, and be unable to eat in publick. About five Years ago, -I remember it was the Fashion to be short-fighted: A Man would not own an Acquaintance till he had first examined him with his Glafs. At a Lady's Entrance into the Play-houfe, you might fee Tubes immediately levell'd at her from every Quarter of the Pit and SideBoxes. However, that Mode of Infirmity is out, and the Age has recovered its Sight: But the Blind feem to be fucceeded by the Lame, and a janty Limp is the prefent Beauty. I think I have formerly obferved, a Cane is Part of the Drefs of a Prig, and always worn upon

145 a Button, for fear he fhould be thought to have an Qccafion for it, or be eftcem'd really, and not genteely, a Cripple. I have confidered, but could never find out the Bottom of this Vanity. Lindeed have heard of a Gafton General, who by the lucky grazing of a Bullet on the Roll of his Stocking, took Occafion to halt all his Life after. But as for our peaceable Cripples, I know. no Foundation for their Behaviour, without it may be fuppofed that in this Warlike Age, fome think a Cane the next Honour to a Wooden Leg. This Sort of Affectation I have known run from one Limb or Member to another. Before the Limpers came in, I remember a Race of Lifpers, fine Perfons, who took an Averfion: to particular Letters in our Language: Some never utter'd the Letter H; and others had as mortal an Aver fion to S. Others have had their fashionable Defect in their Ears, and would make you repeat all you faid twice over. I know an ancient Friend of mine, whose Table is every Day furrounded with Flatterers, that makes ufe of this, fometimes as a Piece of Grandeur,:` and at others as an Art, to make them repeat their Commendations. Such Affectations have been indeed in the World in ancient Times; but they fell into them out: of politick Ends. Alexander the Great had a wry Neck, which made it the Fashion in his Court to carry their Heads on one side when they came into the Presence. One who thought to outfhine the whole Court, carried his Head fo over-complaifantly, that this Martial Prince gave him fo great a Box on the Ear, as fet all the Heads of the Court upright.

T

THIS Humour takes Place in our Mind as well as Bodies. I knew at this time a young Gentleman, who talks Atheistically all Day in Coffee-houses, and in his Degrees of Understanding fets up for a Free-Thinker ; though it can be proved upon him, he fays his Prayers every Morning and Evening. But this Clafs of modern Wits 1 fhall referve for a Chapter by it felf.

OF the like Turn are all your Marriage-Haters, who rail at the Noofe, at the Words, Forever and Aye, and' at the fame time are fecretly pining for fome young Thing or other that makes their Hearts ake by her Refufal. The next to these, are fuch as pretend to govern

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their

their Wives, and boaft how ill they use them; when at the fame time, go to their Houses, and you fhall fee them ftep as if they feared making a Noife, and are as fond as an Alderman. I don't know, but fometimes thefe Pretences may arise from a Defire to conceal a contrary Defect than that they set up for. I remember, when I was a young Fellow, we had a Companion of a very fearful Complexion, who, when we fat in to drink, would defire us to take his Sword from him when he grew fuddled; for 'twas his Misfortune to be quarrel

fome.

THERE are many, many of these Evils, which demand my Obfervations; but because I have of late been thought fomewhat too fatirical, I fhall give them Warning, and declare to the whole World, that they are not true, but falfe Hypocrites; and make it out, that they are good Men in their Hearts. The Motive of this monstrous Affectation in the above-mentioned, and the like Particulars, I take to proceed from that no"ble Thirft of Fame and Reputation which is planted in the Hearts of all Men. As this produces elegant Writings and gallant Actions in Men of great Abilities, it alfo brings forth fpurious Productions in Men who are not capable of diftinguishing themselves by Things which are really Praife-worthy. As the Defire of Fame in Men of true Wit and Gallantry fhews it felf in proper Instances, the fame Defire in Men who have the Ambition without proper Faculties, runs wild, and difcovers it felf in a thousand Extravagancies, by which they would fignalize themfelves from others, and gain a Set of Admirers. When I was a middle-aged Man, there were many Societies of ambitious young Men in England, who, in their Pursuits after Fame, were every Night employed in roasting Porters, fmoaking Coblers, knocking down Watchmen, overturning Conftables, breaking Windows, blackening Sign-Pofts, and the like immortal Enterprizes, that difperfed their Repu tation throughout the whole Kingdom. One could hardly find a Knocker at a Door in a whole Street after a Midnight Expedition of thefe Beaux Efpirits. I was lately very much furprised by an Account of my Maid, who entered my Bed-Chamber this Morning in a very

great