drank the Lieutenant's Health. We returned to my Lodging, and Tranquillus led his Wife to her Apartment, without the Ceremony of throwing the Stocking, which generally cofts two or three Maidenheads without any Ceremony at all. : N° 80. Thursday, Octob. 13. 1709. Grecian Coffee-house, October 12. HIS learned Board has complained to me of the and confequently on Learning, which has raised the Reward demanded by learned Men for their Advice and Labour, in order to regulate and fix a Standard in thefe Matters; Divines, Phyficians, and Lawyers, have fent in large Propofals, which are of great Light and Instruction. From the Perufal of thefe Memori als, I am come to this immediate Refolution, till I have Leifure to treat the Matter at large; viz. In Divinity, Fathers fhall be valued according to their Antiquity; Schoolmen by the Pound-Weight; and Sermons by their Goodness. In my own Profeffion, which is most.ly Phyfick, Authors fhall be rated according to their Language. The Greek is fo rarely understood, and the English fo well, I judge them of no Value, fo that only Latin fhall bear a Price, and that too according to its Purity, and as it ferves beft for Prefcription. In Law, the Value must be fet according to the Intricacy and Obfcurity of the Author, and Blacknefs of the Letter;;: provided always, that the Binding be of Calve-Skin. This Method I shall settle alfo with Relation to all other Writings; infomuch that even these our Lucubrations, though hereafter printed by Aldus, Elzevir, or Stepha-nu, fhall not advance above one fingle Penny. White's White's Chocolate-house, October 12. IT will be allowed me, that I have all along fhewed great Refpect iu Matters which concern the Fair Sex; but the Inhumanity with which the Author of the fol lowing Letter has been used, is not to be fuffered.. ་ SIR, October 9. YESTERDAY I had the Misfortune to drop in Y at my Lady Haughty's upon her Vifiting-Day, When I enter'd the Room where fhe receives Company, they all ftood up indeed; but they stood as if they were to ftare at rather than to receive me. After a long Paufe, a Servant brought a round Stool, on which I fate down at the lower End of the Room, in the Prefence of no less than Twelve Perfons, Gentle ← men and Ladies, folling in Elbow-Chairs. And to compleat my Difgrace, my Mitrefs was of the Soci ety. I tried to compofe my felf in vain, not knowing how to difpofe of either of my Legs or Arms, nor how to fhape my Countenance; the Eyes of the whole Room being ftill upon me in a profound Silence. My Confufion was at laft fo great, that without fpeaking, or being spoken to, I fled for it, and left the Affembly to treat me at their Difcretion. A Lecture from you upon these inhuman Distinctions in a free Nation, will, I doubt not, prevent the like Evils for the future, and make it, as we fay, As cheap Sitting as Standing I am with the greatest Respect, SIR, Your most Humble and J. R. That a P. S. I HAD almoft forgot to inform you, fair young Lady fat in an armlefs Chair upon my Right Hand, with manifeft Difcontent in her Looks, Soon after the Receipt of this Epiftle, I heard a very gentle Knock at my Door: My Maid went down, and brought up Word, That a tall, lean, black Man, well dreffed, who faid he had not the Honour to be acquain ted with me, defired to be admitted. I bid her thew him up, met him at my Chamber-Door, and then fell back a few Paces. He approached me with great Refpect, and told me with a low Voice, He was the Gentleman that had been feated upon the round Stool. I immedi ately ately recollected, that there was a Joint-Stool in my Chamber, which I was afraid he might take for an Inftrament of Diftinction, and therefore winked at my Boy to carry it into my Clofet. I then took him by the Hand, and led him to the upper End of my Room, where I placed him in my great Elbow-Chair: At the fame Time drawing another without Arms to it, for my felf to fit by him. I then asked him, At what time this Misfortune befel him? He answer'd, between the Hours of Seven and Eight in the Evening. I further demanded of him, What he had eat or drank that Day? He replied, nothing but a Difh of Water-gruel with a few Plums in it. In the next Place, I felt his Pulfe, which was very low and languifning. These Circumftances confirmed me in an Opinion which I had entertained upon the first reading of his Letter, that the Gentleman was far gone in the Spleen. I therefore advifed him to rife the next Morning, and plunge into the Cold Bath, there to remain under Water till he was almoft drowned. This I ordered him to repeat fix Days fucceffively; and on the Seventh, to repair at the wonted Hour to my Lady Haughty's and to acquaint me afterwards with what he fhall meet with there; and particularly to tell me, whe ther he fhall think they stared upon him fo much as the Time before. The Gentleman fmiled; and by this Way of talking to me, fhewed himself a Man of excellent Senfe in all Particulars, unless when a Cane-Chair, a Round or a Joint-Stool, were spoken of. He opened his Heart to me at the fame time concerning feveral other Grievances; such as, being overlook'd in publick Affemblies, having hisBows unanfwer'd being help'dlaft at Table, and placed at the back Part of a Coach; with many other Distresses, which have wither'd his Countenance, and worn him to a Skeleton. Finding him a Man of Reason, I entered into the Bottom of his Diftemper Sir, (faid I) there are more of your Conftitution in this Ifland of Great Britain, than in any other Part of the World; and I beg the Favour of you to tell me, Whe ther you do not obferve, that you meet with most Affronts in rainy Days? He answered candidly, That he had long obferved, that People were lefs fawcy ite Sunshine, than in cloudy Weather. Upon which I told him plainly, his Distemper was the Spleen'; and that though the World was very ill-natured, it was not fo bad as he believed it. I farther affùred him, That his Ufe of the Cold Bath, with a Course of Steel swhich I fhould prefcribe him, would certainly cure most of his Acquaintance of their Rudeness, ill Behaviour, and Im pertinence. My Patient smiled, and promised to obferve my Preferiptions, not forgetting to give me an Ace count of their Operation. This Diftemper being pretty Epidemical, I fhall, for the Benefit of Mankind, give. the Publick an Account of the Progress I make in the Cure of it. From my own Apartment, Off. 12. THE Author of the following Letter behaves himself fo ingenuously, that I cannot defer answering him any any longer. Honoured Sir,... Oct. 6. HAVE lately contracted a very honest and undif• fembled Claudication in my Left Foot, which will be a double Affliction to me, if (according to your Tatler of this Day) it must pass upon the World for a Piece of Singularity and Affectation. I must therefore humbly beg Leave to limp along the Streets after my own Way, or I shall be inevitably ruined in Coachhire. As foon as I am tolerably recovered, I promife to walk as upright as a Ghoft in a Tragedy, being not of Stature to fpare an Inch of Height that I can any way pretend to. I honour your Lucubrations, and am, with the moft profound Submiffion, Honoured Sir, Your most Dutiful, and Meft Obedient Servant, &c. NOT doubting but the Cafe is as the Gentleman re prefents, I do hereby order Mr. Morphew to deliver him out a Licence, upon paying his Fees, which fhall empower him to wear a Cane till the 13th of March next; Five Months being the most I can allow for a 'Sprain St. James's Coffee-Houfe, October 12, WE received this Morning a Mail from Holland, which brings Advice, That the Siege of Mons is carried on with fo great Vigour and Bravery, that we hope very tud.. fuddenly to be Mafters of the Place. All Things neceffary being prepared for making the Affault on the Hornwork and Ravelin of the Attack of Bertamont, the Charge began with the Fire of Bombs and Grenadoes, which was fo hot, that the Enemy quitted their Poft, and we lodged our felves on thofe Works without Oppofition.. During this Storm, one of our Bombs fell into a Magazine of the Enemy, and blew it up. There are Advices which fay, The Court of France had made new Offers of Peace to the Confederates; but this Intelli gence wants Confirmation.. Hic Manes ob Patriam pugnando Vulnera paffi, N° 8 r.. Saturday, October 15. 1709. T From my own Apartment, Oftober 14... VIRG.. HERE are two Kinds of Immortality; that which the Soul really enjoys after this Life, and that Imaginary Exiftence by which Men live in their Fame and Reputation. The beft and greateft Actions have proceeded from the Profpect of the one or the other of these but my Defign is to treat only of those who have chiefly propofed to themselves the later as the principal Reward of their Labours. Itwas for this Reafon that I excluded from my Tables of Fame all the great Founders and Votaries of Religion; and it is for this Reafon also that I am more than ordinarily anxiousto do Justice to the Perfons of whom I am now going to fpeak; for. fince Fame was the only End of all their Enterprizes and. Studies, a Man cannot be too fcrupulous in allotting. them their due Proportion of it. It was this Confideration which made me call the whole Body of the Learned to |