give Notice to all Bookfellers and Tranflators whatfoever, That the Word Memoir is French for a Novel; and to require of them, That they fell and tranflate it accordingly.

Will's Coffee-house, Ottoler 21.

COMING into this Place to Night, I met an old Friend of mine, who, a little after the Reftauration, writ an Epigram with fome Applaufe, which he has lived upon ever fince; and by Virtue of it, has been a conftant Frequenter of this Coffee-houfe for Forty Years. He took me afide, and with a great deal of Friendship told me, He was glad to fee me alive; for, fays he, Mr. Bickerstaff, I am forry to find you have raifed many Enemies by your Lucubrations, There are

indeed fome, fays he, whofe Enmity is the greateft Honour they can fhewa Man; but have you lived to thefe Years, and don't know, that the ready Way to difoblige, is to give Advice? You may endeavour to guard your Children, as you call them, butHe was going on; but I found the Disagreeablenefs of giving Advice without being asked it, by my own Impatience of what he was about to fay. In a Word, I begged him to give me the Hearing of a fhort Fable.

A Gentleman, (fays I) who was one Day flumbering in an Arbor, was on a fudden awakened by the gentle Biting of a Lizard, a little Animal remarkable for its Love to Mankind. He threw it from his Hand with fome Indignation, and was rifing up to kill it, when he faw an huge venomous Serpent fliding towards him an the other Side, which he foon deftroy'd; reflecting afterwards with Gratitude upon his Friend that faved him, and with Anger against himself, that had fhown fo litthe Senfe of a good Office.

Tuesday,

N285.

Tuesday, Octob. 25. 17.09.

From my own Apartment, October 24.

Mcartone this Morning into my Study, and af

TY Brother Tranquillus, who is a Man of Business,

ter very many civil Expreffions, in Return for what good Offices I had done him, told me, he defired to carry his Wife my Sifter that very Morning to his own Houfe. I readily told him, I would wait upon him, without asking why he was fo impatient to rob us of his good Company. He went out of my Chamber, and I thought feemed to have a little Heaviness upon him, which gave me fome Difquiet. Soon after, my Sifter came to me with a very Matron-like Air, and most fedate Satisfaction in her Looks, which fpoke her very much at Eafe, but the Traces of her Countenance feemed to difcover that he had been lately in a Paffion, and that Air of Content to flow from a certain Triumph upon fome Advantage obtained. She no fooner fat down by me, but I perceived fhe was one of thofe Ladies who begin to be Managers within the Time of their being Brides. Without letting her fpeak (which I faw he had a mighty Inclination to do) I faid, Here has been your Husband, who tells me he has a Mind to go Home this very Morning; and I have confented to it. It is well, faid fhe, for you must know-Nay, Jenny, faid I, I beg your Pardon, for 'tis you muft knowYou are to understand, that now is the Tinte to fix or alienate your Husband's Heart for ever; and I fear you have been a little indifcreet in your Expreffions or Behaviour towards him, even here in my Houfe. There. hâs, fays fhe, been fome Words; but I'll be judg'd by you if he was not in the Wrong: Nay, I need not be judged by any Body, for he gave it up hinfelf, and faid not a Word when he faw me grow paffionate, but, Madam, you are perfectly in the Right of it; As you fhall judge

judge. Nay, Madam, faid I, I am Judge already, and tell you, that you are perfectly in the Wrong of it; for if it was a Matter of Importance, I know he has better Senfe than you; if a Trifle, you know what I told you on your Wedding-Day, that you were to be above little Provocations. She knows very well I can be fowr upon Occasion, therefore gave me Leave to go on..

SISTER, faid I, I will not enter into the Difpute between you, which I find his Prudence put an End to before it came to Extremity, but charge you to have a Care of the first Quarrel, as you tender your Happinefs; for then it is, that the Mind will reflect harthly upon every Circumftance that has ever pafs'd between you.. If fuch an Accident is ever to happen (which I hope never will) be fure to keep to the Circumftancebefore you, make no Allufions to what is past, or Conclufions referring to what is to come: Don't fhew an Hoard of Matter for Diffention in your Breaft; but if it. is neceffary, lay before him the Thing as you underftand it, candidly, without being afhamed of acknowledging an Error, or proud of being in the Right. If a young Couple be not careful in this Point, they will get into an Habit of Wrangling: And when to Difpleafe is thought of no Confequence, to Pleafe is always of as little Moment. There is a Play, Jenny, I have former Jy been at when I was a Student: We got into a dark Corner with a Porringer of Brandy, and threw Raifins into it, then fet it on Fire.. My Chamber-fellow and It diverted our felves with the Sport of venturing our Fin gers for the Raifins, and the Wantonnefs of the Thing was, to fee each other look like a Dæmon, as we burnt: our felves, and fnatched out the Fruit. This fantastical Mirth was called Snap-Dragon. You may go into many a Family, where you fee the Man and Wife at this Sport: Every Word at their Table alludes to fome Paffage between themselves; and you fee by the Palenefs and Emotion in their Countenances, that it is for your Sake, and not their own, that they forbear playing out the whole Game, in burning each others Fingers. In this Cafe, the whole Purpofe of Life is inverted, and the Ambition turns upon a certain Contention, who fhall: 主

conc

contradict beft, and not upon an Inclination, to excel in Kindnesses and good Offices.. Therefore, dear Jenny, remember me, and avoid Snap-Dragon..

fore

I thank you Brother, (faid fhe) but you don't know how he loves me, I find I can do any Thing with him. If you can dofo, Why fhould you defire to do any Thing but please him? But I have a Word or two more be you go out of the Room; for I fee you do not: like the Subject I am upon :: Let nothing provoke you to fall upon an Imperfection he cannot help; for if he has a refenting Spirit, he will think your Aversion as immoveable as the Imperfection with which you upbraid him. But above all, dear Jenny, be careful of one Thing, and you will be fomething more than Wo man, that is, a Levity you are almost all guilty of, which is, to take a Pleasure in your Power to give Pain. It is even in a Mistress an Argument of Meannefs of Spirit, but in a Wife it is Injuftice and Ingratitude.. When a fenfible Man once observes this in a Woman, he must have a very great, or a very little, Spirit to overlook it.. A Woman ought therefore to confider very often, how few Men there are who will regard a meditated Offence as a Weakness of Temper..

I was going on in my Confabulation, when Tranquillus entered. She caft her Eyes upon him with much: Shame and Confufion, mixed with great Complacency and Love, and went up to him. He took her in his Arms, and looked to many foft Things at one Glance,, that I could fee he was glad I had been talking to her, forry fhe had been troubled, and angry at himself that: he could not difguife the Concern he was in an Hour be fore. After which, he fays to me, with an Air aukward enough, but methought not unbecoming; I have altered my Mind, Brother; we will live upon you a Day or two longer. I replied, That's what I have been perfwading. Jenny to ask of you, but she is refolved never to contradict your Inclinations, and refused me.

WE were going on in that Way which one hardly knows how to exprefs; as when Two People mean the fame Thing in a nice Cafe, but come at it by talking as diftantly from it as they can; when very opportunely came in upon us an honest inconfiderable Fellow, Th

Dapper

Dapper, a Gentleman well known to us both. Tim is one of thofe who are very neceffary, by being very inconfiderable. Tim dropp'd in at an Incident, when we knew not how to fall into either a grave or a merry Way. My Sifter took this Occasion to make off, and Dapper gave us an Account of all the Company he had been in to-day, who was, and who was not at Home, where he visited. This Tim is the Head of a Species: He is a little out of his Element in this Town; but he is a Relation of Tranquillus, and his Neighbour in the Country, which is the true Place of Resid ence for this Species. The Habit of a Dapper, when he is at Home, is a light Broad Cloth, with Calamanco or

Red Watcoat and Breeches; and it is remarkable, that their Wigs feldom hide the Colour of the 'r Coats. They have always a peculiar fpring in their Arms, a Riggle in their Bodies, and a Trip in their Gate. All which Motions they exprefs at once in their Drinking, Bowing, or faluting Ladies; for a diftant Imitation of a forward Fop, and a Refolution to overtop him in his Way, are the diftinguifhing Marks of a Dapper. Thefe Under-Characters of Men are Parts of the fociable World by no Means to be neglected: They are like Pegs in a Building, They make no Figure in it, but hold the Structure together, and are as abfolutely neceffary as the Pillars and Columns. I am fure we found it fo this Morning; for. Tranquillus and I. fhould perhaps have looked cold at each other the whole Day, but Dapper fell in with his brisk Way, fhook us both by the Hand, rallied the Bride, miftook the Acceptance he met with amongst us for extraordinary Perfection in himself, and heartily pleafed, and was pleafed, all the while he flay

ed.

His Company left us all in good Humour, and we were not fuch Fools as to let it fink, before we confirmed it by great Chearfulness and Openness in our Carriage the whole Evening.

White's Chocolate-boufe, Ocl. 24.

I have been this Evening to vifit a Lady who is a Re lation of the enamour'd Cynthio, and there heard the melancholy News of his Death. I was in Hopes, that Fox-hunting an October would have recovered him from his unhappy Paflion. He went into the Country