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pleased me, to see how she hit her height of understanding so well. We sat down to supper. Says Giddy mighty prettily, Two hands in a dish, and one in a purse : says Slim, ay, madam, the more the merrier; the fewer the better cheer. I quickly took the hint; and was as witty and talkative as they : says I,

He that will not when he may,

When he will, he shall have nay ; and so helped myself. Giddy turns about; What, have you found your tongue ? Yes, says I, it is manners to speak when I am spoken to ; but your greatest talkers are the least doers, and the still sow eats up all the broth. Ha! ha! says Giddy, one would think he had nothing in him, and do you hear how he talks, when he pleases ! I grew immediately roguish and pleasant to a degree, in the same strain. Slim, who knew how good company we had been, cries, You will certainly print this bright conversation.'


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This is to give notice, that a magnificent palace, with great variety of gardens, statues, and water-works, may be bought cheap in Drury-lane; where there are likewise several castles to be disposed of, very delight


* This sketeli, apparently so slight, is inserted because in it we see the original idea which Swift afterwards expanded into the volume which bears the title of Polite Conversation.

+ This was written upon an order from the lord cham. berlain for shutting up Drury-lane.


fully fully situated; as also groves, woods, forests, fountains, and country-seats, with very pleasant prospects on all sides of them; being the moveables of Christopher Rich, esquire, who is breaking up housekeeping, and has many curious pieces of furniture to dispose of, which may be seen between the hours of six and ten in the evening.


Spirits of right Nantz brandy, for lambent flames and apparitions.'

Three bottles and an half of lightning.
One shower of snow in the whitest French paper.
Two showers of a browner sort..

A sea, consisting of a dozen large waves; the tenth bigger than ordinary, and a little damaged.

A dozen and half of clouds, trimmed with black, and well-conditioned.

A rainbow, a little faded.

A set of clouds after the French mode, streaked with lightning and furbelowed.

A new moon, something decayed. .

A pint of the finest Spanish wash, being all that is Jeft of two hogsheads sent over last winter. · A coach very finely gilt, and little used, with a pair of dragons, to be sold cheap.

A setting sun, a pennyworth. :'

An imperial mantle, made for Cyrus the great, and korn by Julius Cæsar, Bajazet, king Henry the eighth, und signior Valentini.

A basket-hilted sword, very convenient to carry milk in. . Roxana's right-gown.

Oth es's


Othello's handkerchief.
The inperial robes of Xerxes, never worn but once*.
A wild boar killed by Mrs. Tofts and Dioclesian.
A serpent to sting Cleopatra.
A mustard - bowl to make thunder with.

Another of a bigger sort, by Mr. Dennis's directions, little usedt.

Six elbow chairs, very expert in country-dances, with six flower-pots for their partners.

The whiskers of a Turkish bassa.

The complexion of a murderer in a band-box; consisting of a large piece of burnt cork, and a coal-black peruke.

A suit of clothes for a ghost, viz. a bloody shirt, a doublet curiously pinked, and a coat with three great eye-let-eyes upon the breast.

A bale of red Spanish wool. Modern plots, commonly known by the name of trapdoors, ladders of ropes, vizard-masques, and tables with broad carpets over them. :

Three oak-cudgels, with one of crab-tree; all bought for the use of Mr. Pinkethman.

Materials for dancing; as masques, castanets, and a Jadder of ten rounds.

* This alludes to a play of Cibber's which fell after one night's representation.

+ Dennis had, a little before this, brought a tragedy upon the stage, in which he introduced a new method of making thunder. The tragedy did not succeed, but the thunder was adopted, and Dennis soon after heard it at the play of Macbeth; apon which he was very angry, and exclaimed · See how these fellows use me! They silence my tragediy, and steal my under.'


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Aurengezebe's scymitar, made by Will. Brown in Piccadilly.

A plume of feathers, never used but by Edipus and the earl of Essex.

There are also swords, halbards, sheep-hooks, car. dinals hats, turbans, drums, gallipots, a gibbet, acradle, a rack, a cart-wheel, an altar, an helmet, a back-piece, a breast-plate, a bell, a tub, and a jointed-baby.


PRACTICAL JOKES. No. 45. I am got hither safe, but never spent time with sq little satisfaction as this evening ; for you must know, I was five hours with three merry, and two honest, fellows. The former sang catches; and the latter even died with laughing at the noise they made. Well, says Tom Bellfrey, you scholars, Mr. Bickerstaff, are the worst company in the world. Ay, says his opposite, you are dull to-night ; pr’ythee be merry. With that I huzzaed, and took a jump 'cross the table, then came clever upon my legs, and fell a-laughing. Let Mr. Bickerstaff alone, says one of the honest fellows, when he is in a good humour, he is as good company as any man in England. He had no sooner spoke, but I snatched his hat off his head, and clapped it upon my own, and burst out a-laughing again ; upon which we all fell a-laughing for half an hour. One of the honest fellows got behind me in the interim, and hit me a sound slap on the back; upon which he got the laugh out of my hands; and it was such a twang



on my shoulders, that I confess he was much merrier than I. I was half angry; but resolved to keep up the good humour of the company; and after hollaing a3 loud as I could possibly, I drank off a bumper of claret, that made me stare again. Nay, says one of the honest fellows, Mr. Isaac is in the right, there is no conversation in this: what signifies jumping, or bitting one another on the back? Let us drink about. We did so from seven of the clock until eleven ; and now I am come hither, and, after the manner of the wise Pythagoras, begin to reflect upon the passages of the day. I remember nothing but that I am bruised to death; and as it is my way to write down all the good things I have heard in the last conversation, to furnish my paper, I can from this only tell you my sufferings and my bangs.


ON PREACHERS. No. 66... Of all the people on the earth, there are none who puzzle me so much as the clergy of Great Britain, who are, I believe, the most learned body of men now in the world ; and yet the art of speaking with the proper ornaments of voice and gesture is wholly neglected among them; and I will engage, were a deaf man to behold the greater part of them preach, he would rather think. they were reading the contents only of some discourse they intended to make, than actually in the body of an oration, even when they are upon matters of such a nature, as one would believe it were impossible to think of without emotion.

I own there are exceptions to this general observation, and that the dean we heard the other day together is an



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