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Be prefent as if absent.

T is a hard and nice fubject for a man to speak of himfelf, fays Cowley; it grates his own heart to Jay any thing of difparagement, and the reader's ears to hear any thing of praife from him. Let the te nour of his difcourfe be what it will upon this subject, it generally proceeds from vanity. An oftentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an abfur. dity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.

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Some very great writers have been guilty of this fault. It is obferved of Tully in particular, that his works run very much in the firft perfon, and that he takes all occafions of doing himself juftice. Does he think, fays Brutus, that his confulfhip deferves more applaufe than my putting Cafar to death, because I am not perpetually talking of the ides of • March, as he is of the nones of December?' need not acquaint my learned reader that, in the ides of March, Brutus destroyed Cafar, and that Cicero quafhed the confpiracy of Catiline in the calends of December. How shocking foever this great man's talking of himself might have been to his contemporaries, I must confefs I am never better pleafed than when he is on this fubject. Such openings of the heart give a man a thorough infight into his perfonal character, and illuftrate feveral paffages in the hiftory of his life: befides, that there is fome little

pleasure

pleasure in discovering the infirmity of a great man, and feeing how the opinion he has of himself agrees with what the world entertains of him.

The gentlemen of Port Royal, who were more eminent for their learning and their humility than any other in France, banished the way of speaking in the first perfon out of all their works, as arifing from vain-glory and self-conceit. To fhew their particular aversion to it, they branded this form of writing with the name of an Egotism; a figure not to be found among the ancient rhetoricians.

The most violent egotifm which I have met with in the course of my reading, is that of Cardinal Wolfey, Ego et Rex meus, I and my King; as perhaps the most eminent egotift that ever appeared in the world was Montagne, the author of the celebrated effays. This lively old Gafcon has woven all his bodily infirmities into his works, and after having spoken of the faults or virtues of any other man, immediately publishes to the world how it ftands with himfelf in that particular. Had he kept his own counfel, he might have paffed for a much better mar, though perhaps he would not have been fo diverting an author. The title of an effay promifes perhaps a discourse upon Virgil, or Julius Cæfar; but when you look into it, you are fure to meet with more upupon Monfieur Montagne, than of either of them. The younger Scaliger, who feems to have been no great friend to this author, after having acquainted the world that his father fold herrings, adds thefe words La grande faidaife de Montagne, qui a ecrit qu'il aimoit mieux la vin blanc-que diable a-t-on afaire de fçavoir ce qu'il aime? For my part, says Mon} tagne, I am a great lover of your white winesWhat the devil fignifies it to the public, says Scaliger, whether he is a lover of white wines, or of red wines?

I cannot here forbear mentioning a tribe of ego

tifts, for whom I have always had a mortal averfion, I mean the authors of memoirs, who are never mentioned in any works but their own, and who raise all their productions out of this single figure of fpeech.

Most of our modern prefaces favour very strongly of the egotism. Every infignificant author fancies it of importance to the world, to know that he writ his book in the country, that he did it to pafs away fome of his idle hours, that it was published at the importunity of friends, or that his natural temper, ftudies, or converfation, directed him to the choice of his fubject.

-Id populus curat fcilicet.

Such informations cannot but be highly improving to the reader.

In works of humour, efpecially when a man writes under a fictitious perfonage, the talking of one's felf may give fome diverfion to the public; but I would advife every other writer never to speak of himself, unless there be fomething very confiderable in his character? Though I am fenfible this rule will be of little ufe in the world, because there is no man who fancies his thoughts worth publishing, that does not look upon himfelf as a confiderable perfon.

I fhall close this paper with a remark upon fuch #as are egotifts in converfation: these are generally the vain or fhallow part of mankind, people being naturally full of themselves when they have nothing elfe in them. There is one kind of egotifts, which is very common in the world, though I do not remember that any writer has taken notice of them; I mean thofe empty, conceited fellows, who repeat, as fayings of their own, or fome of their particular friends, feveral jefts which were made before they were born, and which every one who has converfed

in the world has heard a hundred times over. A forward young fellow of my acquaintance was very guilty of this abfurdity; he would be always laying a new fcene for fome old piece of wit, and telling us, that as he and Jack Such-a-one were together, one or the other of them had fuch a conceit on fuch an occafion; upon which he would laugh very heartily, and wonder the company did not join with him. When his mirth was over, I have often reprehended him out of Terence, Tuumne, obfecro te, hoc dictum erat? vetus credidi. But finding him ftill incorrigible, and . having a kindnefs for the young coxcomb, who was otherwise a good-natured fellow, I recommended to his perufal the Oxford and Cambridge jefts, with feveral little pieces of pleasantry of the fame nature. Upon the reading of them, he was under no small confufion to find, that all his jokes had paffed through, feveral editions, and that what he thought was a new conceit, and had appropriated to his own ufe, had ap-, peared in print before he or his ingenious friends were ever heard of. This had fo good an effect upon him, that he is content at prefent to pass for a man of plain fenfe in his ordinary converfation, and is never facetious but when he knows his company,

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SHALL entertain my readers with two very curious letters. The first of them comes from a chimerical perfon, who, I believe, never writ to any body.before.

VOL. VIII.

+ D

• SIR,

SIR,

I am defcended from the ancient family of the • Blanks, a name well known among all men of • bufinefs. It is always read in thofe little white fpaces of writing which want to be filled up, and which for that reafon are called blank spaces, as of right appertaining to our family: for I confider myfelf as the Lord of a manor, who lays his claim to all waftes or fpots of ground that are unappropriated. I am a near kinfman to John a Styles and John a Nokes; and they, I am told, came in with the Conqueror. I am mentioned oftener in both houfes of parliament than any other perfon in Great Britain. My name is written, or, more properly fpeaking, not written, thus,

I am one that can turn my hand to any thing, and appear under any fhape whatsoever. I can make myself man, woman, or child. I am fometimes • metamorphofed into a year of our Lord, a day of the month, or an hour of the day. I very often • represent a fum of money, and am generally the firft fubfidy that is granted to the crown. 1 have now and then fupplied the place of feveral thoufands of land-foldiers, and have as frequently been employed in the fea-fervice.

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Now, Sir, my complaint is this, that I am only made ufe of to ferve a turn, being always difcarded as foon as a proper person is found out to fill up my place.

If you have ever been in the play-house before the curtain rifes, you fee most of the front-boxes • filled with men of my family, who forthwith turn out and refign their ftations upon the appearance of thofe for whom they are retained.

But the moft illuftrious branch of the Blanks are thofe who are planted in high posts, until fuch timę as perfons of greater confequence can be found out to fupply them. One of thofe Blanks is equally qualified for all offices; he can ferve in time of

• need

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