to direct us. I mean, fays I, after those words, the dure to fee the great officers of state, the B—y's and T―t's treated after so fcurrilous a manner? I can't for my life, fays I, imagine who they are the SPECTATOR means? No! fays he,- -Your humble fervant, Sir! Upon which he flung himself back in his chair after a contemptuous manner, and fmiled upon the old lethargic gentleman on his left hand, who I found was his great admirer. The Whig, however, had begun to conceive a good-will towards me, and feeing my pipe out, very generously offered me the use of his box; but I declined it with great civility, being obliged to meet a friend about that time in another quarter of the city. At my leaving the coffee-houfe, I could not forbear reflecting with myself upon that gross tribe of > fools who may be termed the over-wife, and upon the difficulty of writing any thing in this cenforious. age, which a weak head may not conftrue into private fatire, and perfonal reflection. A man who has a good nose at an inuendo, smells treafon and fedition in the most innocent words that can be put together, and never fees a vice or folly 1 ftigmatized, but finds out one or other of his acquaintance pointed at by the writer. I remember an empty pragmatical fellow in the country, who, upon reading over The Whole Duty of Man, had written the names of feveral perfons in the village at the fide of every fin which is mentioned by that excellent author; so that he had converted one of the best Ebooks in the world into a libel against the 'fquire, church-wardens, overfeers of the poor, and all other the the most confiderable perfons in the parifh. This book, with these extraordinary marginal notes, fell accidentally into the hands of one who had never seen it before; upon which there arose a current report, that fomebody had written a book against the 'fquire, and the whole parish. The minifter of the place having at that time a controverfy with fome of his congregation, upon the account of his tithes, was under fome fufpicion of being the author, until the good man fet his people right, by fhewing them that the fatirical paffages might be applied to feveral others of two or three neighbouring villages, and that the book was writ against all the finners in England. No. 569. MONDAY, JULY 19. Reges dicuntur multis urgere culullis Et torquere mero, quem perfpexiffe laborent, HOR. Ars Poet. ver. 434. Wife were the kings, who never chofe a friend, N° vices are fo incurable as those which men are apt to glory in. One would wonder how drunkenness should have the good luck to be of this number. Anacharfis being invited to a drinking. match at Corinth, demanded the prize very humouroufly, because he was drunk before any of the reft of the company: for, fays he, when we run a race, he who arrives at the goal first is entitled to the reward: on the contrary, in this thirsty generation, the honour falls upon him who carries off the greatest quantity quantity of liquor, and knocks down the rest of the company. I was the other day with honest Will Funnel, the Weft-Saxon, who was reckoning up how much liquor had paffed through him in the last twenty years of his life, which, according to his computation, amounted to twenty-three hogfheads of October, four tons of port, half a kilderkin of small beer, nineteen barrels of cyder, and three glaffes of champaigne; befides which he had affifted at four hundred bowls of punch, not to mention fips, drams, and whets without number. I queftion not but every reader's memory will fuggeft to him feveral ambitious young men, who are as vain in this particular as Will Funnel, and can boast of as glorious exploits. Our modern philofophers obferve, that there is a general decay of moisture in the globe of the earth. This they chiefly afcribe to the growth of vegetables, which incorporate into their own substance many fluid bodies that never return again to their former nature: but, with fubmiffion, they ought to throw into their account thofe innumerable rational beings which fetch their nourishment chiefly out of liquids; especially when we confider that men, compared with their fellow-creatures, drink much more than comes to their fhare. But, however highly this tribe of people may think of themselves, a drunken man is a greater monster than any that is to be found among all the creatures which God has made; as indeed there is no character which appears more defpicable and deformed, in the eyes of all reasonable perfons, than that of a drunkard. Bonofus, one of our own countrymen, who was addicted to this vice, having fet up for a fhare in the Roman empire, and being defeated in a great battle, hanged himself. When he was seen by the army in this melancholy fituation, notwithftanding he had behaved himself very bravely, the common jeft was, that the thing they faw hanging upon the tree before them, was not a man but a bottle. VOL. VIII + F This the most confiderable perfons in the parish. This book, with these extraordinary marginal notes, fell accidentally into the hands of one who had never seen it before; upon which there arofe a current report, that fomebody had written a book against the 'fquire, and the whole parish. The minifter of the place having at that time a controverfy with fome of his congregation, upon the account of his tithes, was under fome fufpicion of being the author, until the good man fet his people right, by fhewing them that the fatirical paffages might be applied to feveral others of two or three neighbouring villages, and that the book was writ against all the finners in England. quantity of liquor, and knocks down the refo company. I was the other day with honst: VI Funnel, the Weft-Saxon, who was reckoning how much liquor had paffed through him in the latenty years of his life, which, according to his com tion, amounted to twenty-three hog heads of th ber, four tons of port, half a kilderkin of filli nineteen barrels of cyder, and three glaffes of th paigne; befides which he had affifted at four bowls of punch, not to mention fis, whets without number. I queftion meth reader's memory will fuggeft to him even ous young men, who are as vain in this Will Funnel, and can boaft of as glorioss Our modern philofophers obfer, general decay of moisture in the gimb This they chiefly afcribe to the growth which incorporate into their om fluid bodies that r not actuciple meets it does inary, when a felf, without a very pernifhall here conbition by which ccomplishments, y are there whofe un or a quibble? ftreets gain a cirng pole upon his lar pofture. Amwith their feet, and Some tumble in by throwing them |