Page images
PDF
EPUB

tleman of the last age, who lying violently afflicted with the gout, a person came and offered his service to cure him, by a method which he assured him was infallible; the servant who received the mefiage carried it up to his master, who enquiring whether the perfon came on foot or in a chariot; and being informed that he was on foot : Go, says he, send the krave about his business ; was his method as infallible as he pretends, he would long before now have 'been in his coach and fix. In like manner I concluded, that had all thefe advertisers arrived to that skill they pretend to, they would have had no need for so many years successively to publish to the world the place of their abode, and the virtues of their medicines. One of these gentlemen indeed pretends to an effectual cure for leanness : what effects it may have upon those who have tried it, I cannot tell ; but I am credibly informed, that the call for it has been fo great, that it has effectually cured the doctor bimfelf of that distemper. Could each of them produce so good an instance of the success of his medicines, they might soon persuade the world into an opinion of them.

I observe that most of the bills agree in one expression, viz. that (with God's blefing) they perform fuch and such cures : this expreflion is certainly very proper and emphatical, for that is all they have for it. And if ever a cure is performed on a patient where they are concerned, they can claim no greater share in it than Virgil's lapis in the curing Æneas; he tried his skill, was very affiduous about the wound, and indeed was the only visible means that relieved the hero; but the poet assures us it was the particular afliitance of a Deity that speeded the operation. An English reader may see the whole story in Mr. Dryden's translation.

Prop'd on his lance the penfive hero stood, And heard, and saw unmou'd, the mourning crowd.

The

}

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors][ocr errors]

The fam'd physician tucks his robes around,
With ready-hands, and hastens to the wound,
With gentle touches he performs his part,
This way and that foliciting the dart,
And exercises all his heavenly art.
All Soft'ning simples, known of fou'reign use,
He presses out, and pours their noble juice ;
These first infus'd, to lenify the pain,
He tugs with pincers, but he tugs in vain.
Then to the patron of his art he pray'd:
The patron of his art refus'd his aid.

But now the Goddess-mother, mov'd with grief,
And pierc'd with pity, hastens her relief.
A branch of healing Dittany she brought,
Which in the Cretan fields with care lige fought ;
Rough is the fem, which woolly leaves surround;
The leaves with flow'rs, the flow'rs with purple

crown'd;
Well-known to wounded goats ; a sure relief
To draw the pointed steel, and ease the grief,
This Venus brings, in clouds involvid; and brews
Th' extracted liquor with ambrosian dews,
And od'rous Panacee : unseen sbe stands,
Temp'ring the mixture with her heav'nly hands;
And pours it in a bowl already crown'd
With juice of medicinal herbs, prepar'd to bathe

the wound.
The leech, unknowing of superior art,

Which aids the cure, with this foments the part; to And in a moment ceas'd the raging smart. 30 Stanch'd is the blood, and in the bottom flands

The fleel, but scarcely touch'd with tender hands,
Movies up, and follows of its own accord;
And health and vigour are at once resor'd.
lapis first perceiv'd the closing wound;
And first the footsteps of a god he found :-
Arms: arms! he cries: the fword and fbield prepare,

repare,
And send the willing chief, renew'd to war.
This is no mortal work, no cure of mine,
Nor art's effect, but done by hands divine.

WEDNESDAY,

}

[merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small]

G 2

[merged small][merged small][ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

--Castigata remordent.

Juv. Sat. ii. ver. 35.
Chastised, the accusation they retort.

Y

club of Widows has me in feveral letters; and, among the rest, a long one from Mrs. President, as follows:

paper

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

as you

call me, my

i Smart SIR,

You are pleased to be very merry, as you imaa gine, with us widows: and you seem to ground • your farire on our receiving consolation fo foon af

ter the death of our dears, and the number we are

pleased to admit for our companions ; but you ne( ver reflect what husbands we have buried, and < how short a forrow the loss of them was capable of occafioning. For my own part, Mrs. President,

first husband I was married to • at fourteen, by my uncle and guardian, (as I af

terwards discovered), by way of sale, for the third part

of fortune. This fellow looked upon me as a mere child, he might breed up after his own « fancy; if he kiffed my chamber-maid before my • face, I was supposed fo ignorant, how could I think

there was any hurt in it? When he came home (roaring drunk at five in the morning, it was the ( custom of all men that live in the world. I was

not to see a penny of money, for, poor thing, how (could I manage it? He took a handsome cousin of • his into the house (as he said) to be my house

• keeper,

my

[ocr errors]

<

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

keeper, and to govern my fervants; for how should I • know how to rule a family? And while she had what

money fhe pleafed, which was but reasonable for

the trouble she was at for my good, I was not to ' be so cenforious as to dislike familiarity and kind

nefs between near relations. I was too great a coward to contend, but not so ignorant a child to be thus imposed upon.

I refented his contempt a9 ! I ought to do, and as molt poor pasliye blinded (wives do, till it pleased heaven to take away my

tyrant, who left me free poffeffion of my own land, " and a large jointure. My youth and money

brought me many lovers, and several endeavoured to establish an interest in

my heart while my hus. band was in his last fickness; the honourable Edu ward Waitfort was one of the first who addrefied to me, advised to it by a cousin of his that was my

intimate friend, and knew to a penny what I was worth. Mr. Waitfort is a very agreeable mail, ' and every body would like him as well as he does

himself, if they did not plainly see that his efteen 6 and love is all taken up, and by such an object, as • it is impossible to get the better of; I mean him

self. He made no doubt of marrying me within

four or five months, and began to proceed with < such an assured easy air, that piqued my pride not « to banith him; quite contrary, but out of pure ma

lice, I heard his first declaration with so much inno. <cent turprite, and blushed fo prectily, I perceived

it touched his very heart, and he thought me the • best-natured silly poor thing on earth. When a

man has such a notion of a woman, he loves her o better than he thinks he does. I was overjoyed to • be thus revenged on him, for deligning on my « fortune; and finding it was in my power to make o his heart ache, I resolved to complete my con.

quests, and entertained several other pretenders. • The first impression of my undeligning innocence

I was

6

G3

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

(was so strong in his head, he attributed all my fol. « lowers to the inevitable force of my charms; and • from several blushes and fide-glances, concluded • himself the favourite; and when I used him like a • dog for my diversion, he thought it was all pru• dence and fear, and pitied the violence I did my • own inclinations to comply with my friends, when . I married Sir Nicholas Fribble of fixty years of age. • You know, Sir, the case of Mrs. Medlar, I hope you

would not have had me cry out my eyes for r such a husband. I shed tears enough for my wi• dowhood a week after my marriage, and when he

was put in his grave, reckoning he had been two

years dead, and myself a widow of that standing, I « married three weeks afterwards John Sturdy, Efq; « his next heir. I had indeed some thoughts of tak• ing Mr. Waitfort, but I found he could stay, and • belides he thought it indecent to ask me to marry

again, till my year was out; so privately resolving • him for my fourth, I took Mr. Sturdy for the pre« fent. Would you believe it, Sir, Mr. Sturdy was

just five and twenty, about six feet high, and the • ftouteft fox-hunter in the country, and I believe I « wished ten thousand times for my old Fribble a.

gain; he was following his dogs all the day, and

all the night keeping them up at table with him 6 and his companions; however, I think myself ob

liged to them for leading him a chace in which he « broke his neck. Mr. Waitfort began his addrefles

anew, and I verily believe I had married him now, « but there was a young officer in the guards that • had debauched two or three of my acquaintance, " and I could not forbear being a little vain of his

courtship. Mr. Waitfort heard of it, and read me • such an insolent lecture upon the conduct of women,

I married the officer that very day, out < of pure spite to him. Half an hour after I was • married I received a penitential letter from the

6 honour.

6

« PreviousContinue »