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• her faid husband along with her, and fet forth the good conditions and behaviour of her confort, adding withall, that he doubted not but that he was ready to atteft the life of her, his wife; whereupon he, the faid Stephen, fhaking his head, he turned foort upon him, and gave him a box on the ear. Philip de Waverland, having laid his hand • the book, when the claufe, Were I fole and the fole, was rehearsed, found a fecret compunction rifing in his mind, and ftole it off again.

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Richard de Lovelefs, who was a courtier, and a very well-bred man, being obferved to befitate at the words after our marriage, was • thereupon required to explain himself. He replied, by talking very largely of his exact complaisance while he was a lover; and alledged that he had not in the leaft difobliged his wife for a year and a day • before marriage, which he hoped was the fame thing.

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• Rejected.

Joceline Jolly, Efq; making it appear by unquestionable teftimony, that he and his wife had preJerved full and entire affection for the face of the first month, commonly called the Honey-moon; be hid in confideration thereof one rafber bestowed up on him.

After this, fays the record, many years paffed over before any demandant appeared at bichenoure-hall; infomuch that any one would have thought that the whole country were turned Jews, fo little was their affection to the flitch of ⚫ bacon.

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The next couple enrolled had like to have carried it, if one of the witneffes had not depofed, That dining on a Sunday with the demandant, whofe wife had fat below the fquire's Lady at church, he the faid wife dropped fome expreffions, as if fhe thought her husband deferv. ed to be knighted; to which he returned a paffionate

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fonate Pish! The judges taking the premises into ⚫ confideration, declared the aforefaid behaviour to imply an unwarrantable ambition in the wife, and anger in the husband.

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It is recorded as a fufficient difqualification of a certain wife, that fpeaking of her husband, fhe faid, God forgive him.

It is likewife remarkable, that a couple were • rejected upon the depofition of one of their neighbours, that the Lady had once told her hufband, that it was her duty to obey; to which * he replied, Oh, My dear! you are never in the wrong.

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The violent paffion of one Lady for her lapdog; the turning away the old houfe-maid byanother; a tavern-bill torn by the wife, and a taylor's by the hufband; a quarrel about the kif fing cruft; fpoiling of dinners, and coming in late of nights; are fo many feveral articles which occafioned the reprobation of fome fcores of demandants, whofe names are recorded in the aforefaid regifter.

Without enumerating other particular perfons, 'I fhall content myself with obferving, that the • fentence pronounced against one Gervafe Poacher, is, that he might have had bacon to his eggs, if he had not hitherto scolded his wife when they were over-boiled. And the depofition against Dorothy Doolittle runs in thefe words; That fhe had fo far ufurped the dominion of the coal fire, (the ftirring whereof her husband claimed to himfelf) that by her good will he never would fuffer the poker out of her hand.

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I find but two couples, in this first century, • that were fuccefsful: The firft was a fea-captain and his wife, who fince the day of their marriage ⚫ had not feen one another until the day of the claim. The fecond was an honeft pair in the neighbourhood; the hufband was a man of plain

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good fenfe, and a peaceable temper; the woman was dumb.

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N° 609. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20.

Farrago libeli.

Juv. Sat. i. ver. 86.

The mifcellaneous fubjects of my book.

• Mr. SPECTATOR,

"I HAVE for fome time defired to appear in your paper, and have therefore chofen a day to fteal into the SPECTATOR, when I take it for granted you will not have many fpare minutes ⚫ for fpeculations of your own. As I was the other ་ day walking with an honeft country gentleman, he very often was expreffing his aftonishment to fee the town fo mightily crouded with doctors of divinity: Upon which I told him he was very much mistaken, if he took all thofe Gentlemen he faw in fcarfs to be perfons of that dignity; for that a young divine, after his 'firft degree in the "univerfity, ufually comes hither only to fhow himself; and, on that occafion, is apt to think he is but half equipped with a gown and caffack for his publick appearance, if he hath not the additional ornament of a scarf of the firft magnitude to intitle him to the appellation of Doctor from his landlady, and the boy at Child's. Now, fince I know that this piece of garniture is look, ed, upon as a mark of vanity or affectation, as it is made ufe of among fome of the little fpruce adventurers of the town, I fhould be glad if you would give it a place among thofe extravagancies you have juftly expofed in feveral of your papers. Being very well affured T3.

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that the main body of the clergy, both in the country and the universities, who are almost to a man untainted with it, would be very well pleafed to fee this venerable foppery well expofed. When my pattern did me the honour to take me into his family (for I must own myself of this order) he was pleafed to fay he took me as a friend and companion; and whether he ⚫ looked upon the scarf, like the lace and shoulder'knot of a footman, as a badge of fervitude and dependence, I do not know, but he was fo kind as to leave my wearing of it to my own difcretion; and not having any just title to it • from my degrees, I am content to be without the ornament. The privileges of our nobility to keep a certain number of chaplains are undifputed, though perhaps not one in ten of those reverend gentlemen have any relation to the noble families their fcarfs belong to; right generally of creating all chaplains, except the domeftic, where there is one, being nothing more than the perquifite of a fteward's place, who, if he happens to outlive any confide rable number of his noble mafters, fhall probably, at one and the fame time, have fifty chaplains, all in their proper accoutrements, of his own creation; though, perhaps, there hath been neither grace nor prayer faid in the family fince the introduction of the first 'I am, &c.'

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Mr. SPECTATOR,

the

Wish you would write a philofophical paper about natural antipathies, with a word or two concerning the ftrength of imaginatiI can give you a lift upon the first notice of a rational china cup, of an egg that walks upon two legs, and a quart-pot that fings like ⚫ a nightingale,

• on.

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a nightingale. There is in my neighbourhood a very pretty prattling fhoulder of veal, that fqualls out at the fight of a knife. Then, as for natural antipathies, I know a general • officer who was never conquered but by a fmothered rabit; and a wife that domineers over ⚫ her husband by the help of a breaft of mut⚫ ton. A ftory that relates to myfelf on this fubject may be thought not unentertaining, efpecially when I affure you that it is literally true. I had long made love to a Lady, in the poffeffion of whom I am now the happiest of mankind, whofe hand I fhould have gained with much difficulty without the affiftance of a cat. You must know then, that my most dan· gerous rival had fo ftrong an aversion to this fpecies, that he infallibly fwooned away at the fight of that harmless creature. My friend • Mrs. Lucy, her maid, having a greater refpect for me and my purse than fhe had for my rival, always took care to pin the tail of a cat under the gown of her miftrefs whenever fhe knew of his coming; which had fuch an effect, that every time he entered the room, he look⚫ed more like one of the figures in Mrs. Salmon's wax-work, than a defirable lover, In short, ' he grew fick of her company, which the young Lady taking notice of, (who no more knew why than he did) fhe fent me a challenge to meet her in Lincoln's-Inn chapel, which I joyfully accepted, and have (amongst other pleasures) the fatisfaction of being praised by her for my ftratagem.

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From the Hoop.

'I am, &c.'

Mr. SPECTATOR,

THE

TOM NIMBLE.'

HE virgins of Great Britain are very much obliged to you for putting them upon fuch

tedious

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