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While I was in these thoughts, I unluckily called to mind a story of an ingenious Gentleman of the last age, who lying violently afflicted with the gout, a person came and offered his service to cure him by a method, which he assured him was infallible; the servant who received the message carried it up to his master, who inquiring whether the person came on foot or in a chariot; and being informed that he was on foot : Go, says he, send the knave a. bout his business ; was his method as infallible as he pretends, he would long before now have been in his coach and fix. In like manner I concluded, that had all these advertisers arrived to that skill they pretend to, they would have had no need for so many years successively to publish to the world the place of their abode, and the virtues of their medi. cines. One of these Gentlemen indeed pretends to an effectual cure for leanness :. What effects it inay have upon
those who have tried it I cannot tell; but I am credibly informed, that the call for it has been so great, that it has effectually cured the doctor himself of that distemper. Could each of them produce so good an instance of the success of his medicines, they might foon persuade the world into an opinion of them.
I observe that most of the bills agree in one ex. pression, viz. that ( with God's blessing) they perform fuch and such cures: This expression is certainly very proper and emphatical, for that is all they have for it. And if ever a cure is performed on a patient where they are concerned, they can claim no greater share in it than Virgil's lapis in the curing of Æneas ; he tried his skill, was very asliduous about the wound, and indeed was the only visible means that relieved the hero; but the poet assures us it was the particular assistance of a Deity that speeded the operation. An Engliso reader may see the whole story in Mr, Dryden's translation.
Prop'd on his lance the pensive hero ftood, And beard, and law unmov'd, the mourning croud. The fam'd physician tucks his robes around, With ready hands, and haftens to the wound. With gentle touches he performs his part, This way and that
foliciting the dart, And exercises all his heavenly art.
All softning simples, known of sov'reign use,
But now the Goddess-mother, mov’d with grief,
crown'd; Well-known to wounded goats ; a sure relief To draw the pointed steel, and ease the grief. This Venus brings, in clouds involv'd; and
And pours it in a bowl already crown'd
wound. The Leech, unknowing of superior art, Which aids the cure, with this foments the part; And in a moment ceas'd the raging smart. Stanch'd is the blood, and in the bottom stands The steel, but fcarcely touch'd with tender hands, Moves up, and follows of its own accord'; And health and vigour are at once restor'd. lapis first perceiv'd the closing wound; And first the footsteps of a God' be found:
Arms, arms ! he cries.: The sword and shield pre
NO 573. WEDNESDAY, JULY 28.
Juv. Sat. ii. ver. 35. Chastised, the accusation they retort.. MY paper on the club of Widows has brought
me in several letters; and, among the rest, a long one froin Mrs. President, as follows.
< Smart SIR, YOU are pleased to be very merry, as you ina-.
gine, with us widows : And you seem to ground your satire on our receiving consolation, • lo soon after the death of our dears, and the "number we are pleased to admit for our compani. ons ;
but you never reflect what husbands we have buried, and how short a forrow the loss of them
was capable of occasioning. For my own part, • Mrs. Prelident, as you call me, my first husband
I was married to at fourteen, by my uncle and guardian, (as I afterwards discovered), by way of fale, for the third part of my fortune. This fel.. " low looked upon me as a mere child, he might: • breed up after his own fancy; if he kissed my ' chainbermaid before my face, I was supposed so
ignorant, how could I think there was any hurt " in it? When he came home roaring drunk at five : in the morning, it was the custom of all men
" that live in the world. I was not to see a penny • of money, tor, poor thing, how could I manage • it? He took a handfonie cousin of his into the '' house (as he faid) to be my house-keeper, and to
govern my servants ; for how Thould I know how
to rule a family? And while she had what money • she pleafed, which was but reasonable for the « trouble she was at for my good, I was not • to be fo censorious as to dislike familiarity and
kindness between near relations. I was too great
a coward to contend, but not so ignorant a child • to be thus imposed upon. I resented his contempt
as I ought to do, and as most poor paffive • blinded wives do, tilk ir pleased heaven to take a
way my tyrant, who left me free poffeffion of my own land, and a large jointure. My youth and
money brought me many lovers, and several en· deavoured to establish an interest in my heart while
husband was in his last fickness; the • honourable Edward Waitfort was one of the first • who addressed to me, advised to it by a cousin of • his that was my intimare friend, and knew to a
penny what I was worth. Mr. Waitfort is a very agreeable man, and every body would like him
as well as he does himself, if they did not plainly • see that his efteen and love is all taken up, and by such an object, as 'tis impossible to get the better of. I mean himself. He made no doubt of marrying me within four or five months, and began to proceed with such an affured eafy air, that piqued my pride not to banish him ; quite
contrary, out of pure malice, I heard his first de6 claration with so much innocent surprise, and & blushed so prettily, I perceived it touched his • very heart, and he thought me the best-natured filly poor thing on earth. When a man has such
a notion of a woman, he loves her better than he " think he does. I was overjoyed to be thus re
venged on him, for defigning on my fortune ;
and finding it was in my power to make his heart:
ache, I resolved tocomplete my conquests, and entertained several other pretenders. The first
impression of my undesigning innocence was so • strong in his head, he attributed all my followers ' to the inevitable force of my charms; and from
feveral blushes and fide-glances, concluded him• felf the favourite ; and when I uled him like a
dog for my diversion, he thought it was all pru“dence and fear, and pitied the violence. I did:
my own inclinations to comply with my friends, when I married Sir Nicholas Fribble of fixty years: of age. You know, Sir, the case of Mrs. Med- lar, I hope you would not have had me cry out
my eyes for such a husband. I shed tears enough • for my widowhood a week after my marriage,- and when he was put in his grave; reckoning he " had been two years dead, and myself a widow ofi
that standing, I married three weeks afterwards
John Sturdy, Esq; his next air. I had indeed * fome thoughts of taking Mr. Waitfort, but I
found he could stay, and besides he thought it • indecent to ask me to marry again, till my year: ' was out; so privately resolving him for my fourth, • I took Mr. Sturdy for the present. Would you: • believe, Sir, Mr. Sturdy was just five and twenty,
about six feet high, and the stoutest fox-hunter • in the country, and I believe I wished ten thou.
fand times for my old Fribble again ; he was fol.
lowing his dogs all the day, and all the night • keeping them up at table with him and his com
panions; however I think myfelf obliged to them
for leading hiin a chace in which he broke his: ' neck. Mr. Waitfort began his addresses anew, " and I verily believe I had married him now, but
there was a young officer in the guards that had * debauched two or three of my acquaintance, ånd
I could nor forbear being a little vain of his courtthip. Mr. Waitfort heard of it, and read me