was very 6. such an infolent lecture upon the conduct of wo.' men, I married. the officer that very day, out ' of pure spite to him. Hálf an hour after I was ' married I received a penitential letter from the ** honourable Mr. Edward Waitfort, in which he "begged pardon for his paffion, as proceeding • from the violence of his love: I triumphed when "I read it, and could not help, out of the pride of my heart, shewing it to my new spouse; and we were very merry together upon it. Alas! My « mirth lasted a short time; my young husband much in debt when I married him, and * his first action afterwards was-to set up a gilt.cha." * riot and fix in fine träppings before and behind. I had married so haftily I had not the prudence to reserve my estate in my own hands: ; my ready money was lost in two nights at the Groom-por ters; and my diamond necklace, which was stole “I did not know how, I met in the street upon Jenny Wheedle's neck. My plate vanished piece by piece, and I had been reduced to downright pewter, if my officer had not been deliciously , killed in a duel, by a young fellow that had cheat.ed him of five hundred pounds, and afterwards, at his owń requeft, satisfied him and mye too, by running him through the body. Mr. Waitfort was still in :love, and told me fo again ; and to prevent all fears of ill usage, he desired me to re serve every thing in my own hands: But now my • acquaintance began to with me joy of his conftancy, my charms were declining, and I could not refift the * delight. I took in fhewing the young flirts about town, it was yet in my power to give pain to a "man of fense : This, and fome private hopes he ' would hang himfelf, and what a glory would it * be for me, and how I should be envied, made me accept of being third wife to my Lord Friday. L proposed from my rank and his eftare, to live in all the joys of pride, but how was I mistaken? He . was neither extravagant nor ill-natured, nor de• bauched. I suffered however more with him than • with all my others. He was splenetic. I was forced to fit whole days hearkening to his ima ginary ails; it is impoffible to tell what would . pleafe him ; what he liked when the fup fhined, made him fick when it rained; he had no diftem per, but lived in constant fear of them ah: My • good genius dictated to me to bring him ac• quainted with Doctor Gruel; from that day he was always contented, because he had names for . all his complaints ; the good Doctor furnifhed • him with reasons for all his pains, and prescrip• tions for every fancy that troubled him; in hot « weather he lived upon juleps, and ket blood to ' prevent fevers; when it grew cloudy be generally • apprehended a consumption; to shorten the hit tory of this wretched part of my life, he ruined a good conftitution by endeavouring to mend it, . and took several medicines, which ended in tak• ing the grand remedy, which cured both him « and me of alt aneasiness. After his death, I did • not expect to hear any more of Mr. Wait fort, I . I knew he had renovaced me to all his friends, • and been very witty upon my choice, which he « affected to talk of with great indifferency; I gave • over thinking of him, being told that he was • engaged with a pretty woman and a great fortune: • It vexed me a little, but not enough to make me • 'neglect the advice of my coufin Wijowell, that came to see me the day my Lord went into the country with Rusel; The told me experimentally, ' nothing put an unfaithful lover and a dear huf6 band fo foon out of one's head, as a new one ; • and at the fame time, proposed to me a kinsman • of hers: You. understand enough of the world, « (faid she) to know money is the moft valuable consideration; he is very rich, and I am sure cannot live long; he has a cough that must carry 6 • him off foon. I knew afterwards she had given 6. the felf-fame character of me to him; but however « I was so much pursuaded by her, I haftened on the " match for fear he should die before the time 6. came ; he had the same fears, and was so pref sing, I married him in a fortnight, refolving to keep it private a fortnight longer. During this fortnight Mr. Waitfort came to make me a visit; he told me he had waited on me sooner, " but had that respect for me, he would not interrupt me in the first day of my affliction for my • dead Lord ; that as soon as he heard I was at li berty to make another choice, he had broke off a match very advantageous for his fortune just upon the point of conclufion, and was forty times more in love with me than ever: I never receive ed more pleasure in my life than from this declaration, but I composed my face to a grave air, and said the news of his engagement had touched me to the heart, that in a rath jealous fit, I had « married a man I could never have thought upon if I had not lost all hopes of him. Good-n ' ed Mr. Wait fort had like to bave dropt down « dead at hearing this, but went from me with such • an air as plainiy shewed me he laid all the blame upon himself, and hated those friends that had advised him to the fatal application ; he seemed as "much touched by my misfortune as his own, for 6. he had not the least doubt I was passionately in 6 love with him. The truth of the story is, my new husband gave me reason to repent I had not 6. staid for him; he had married me for money, • and I foon found he loved money to distraction ;. there was nothing he would not do to get it, no" thing he would not fuffer to preserve it ; the fmal. "left expence kept him awake whole nights, and • when he paid a bill it was with as many sighs, and 6 after as many delays, as a man that endures, the • loss of a limk. I heard nothing but reproofs for 'extravagancy, natur 6 extravagancy, whatever I did. I saw very well 6 that he would have starved me, but for losing my • jointures, and he suffered agonies between the ; • grief of seeing me have so goed a stomach, and • the fear that, if he made me fast, it nright preju• dice my health. I did not doubt he would have • broke my heart, if I did not break his, which was allowed by the law of felf-defence. The way was very easy. I resolved to fpend as much money as I could, and, before he was aware of the stroke, appeared before him in a two thoufand · pound diamond necklace; he said nothing, but went quietly to his chamber, and as it is thought compofed himself with a dofe of opium. I be'haved myself so well upon the occalion, that to • this day I believe he died of an apoplexy. Mr. Waitfort was resolved not to be too late this time, • and I heard from him in two days. I am almost • out of my weed at this present writing, and very "doubtful whether I will marry him or no. I do not think of a seventh, for the ridiculous reason you mention, but out of pure morality, that I think so much constancy should be rewarded, tho' I may not do it after all perhaps. I do not believe o all the unreasonable malice of mankind can give a pretence why I should have been constant to the memory of any of the deceased, or have fpent ' much time in grieving for an insolent, insignifi. cant, negligent, extravagant, fplenetic, or covet. ous husband ; my first insulted me, my second was nothing to me, my third disgusted me, the « fourth would have ruined me, the fifth tormented me, and the fixth would have starved me. If • the other Ladies you name would thus give • in their husbands pictures at length, you would • see they have had as little reason as mytelf to lose • their hours in weeping and wailing. a 6 FRIDAY, N° 574. • FRIDAY, JULY 30. Non pofidentem multa vocaveris Muneribus sapienter uti, Hor. Od. ix. l. 4. ver. 45. But rather those that know, For what kind fates bestow, CREECH. cian about the great secret. As this kind of men (I mean those of them who are not professed cheats) are over-run with enthusiasm and philosophy, it was very amusing to hear this religious adept descanting on his pretended discovery. He talked of the secret as of a spirit which lived within an emerald, and converted every thing that was near it to the highest perfection it is capable of. It gives a lustre, says he, to the fun, and water to the dia. mond. It irradiates every metal, and enriches lead with all the properties of gold. It heightens smoke into flame, fame into light, and light into glory. He further added, that a single ray of it diffipates pain, and care, and melancholy, from the person on whom it falls. In thort, says he, its presence naturally changes every place into a kind of hea After he had gone on for some time in this unintelligible cant, I found that he jumbled natural and moral ideas together into the fame discourse, and ven. |
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