" men,

.

"fuch an infolent lecture upon the conduct of woI married the officer that very day, out of pure fpite to him. Half an hour after I was 'married I received a penitential letter from the honourable Mr. Edward Waitfort, in which he begged pardon for his paffion, as proceeding 'from the violence of his love: I triumphed when I read it, and could not help, out of the pride of my heart, fhewing it to my new fpoufe; and we 'were very merry together upon it. Alas! My mirth lafted a fhort time; my young hufband was very much in debt when I married him, and his first action afterwards was to fet up a gilt cha"riot and fix in fine trappings before and behind. I had married fo haftily. I had not the prudence to reserve my estate in my own hands; my ready money was loft in two nights at the Groom-porters; and my diamond necklace, which was ftole I did not know how, I met in the ftreet upon Jenny Wheedle's neck. My plate vanished piece by piece, and I had been reduced to downright pewter, if my officer had not been delicioufly killed in a duel, by a young fellow that had cheat⚫ed him of five hundred pounds, and afterwards, at his own requeft, fatisfied him and me too, by running him through the body. Mr. Waitfort was still in love, and told me fo again; and tot prevent all fears of ill ufage, he defired me to referve every thing in my own hands: But now my acquaintance began to with me joy of his conftancy, < my charms were declining, and I could not refift the delight I took in fhewing the young flirts about town, it was yet in my power to give pain to a private he

Iman of fenfe: This, and fome ve pain to a

would hang himself, and what a glory would it be for me, and how I fhould be envied, made me accept of being third wife to my Lord Friday. L propofed from my rank and his eftate, to live in all the joys of pride, but how was I mistaken? He

• was neither extravagant nor ill-natured, nor debauched. I fuffered however more with him than ⚫ with all my others. He was fplenetic. I was 'forced to fit whole days hearkening to his ima6 ginary ails; it is impoffible to tell what would' pleafe him; what he liked when the fup fhined, • made him fick when it rained; he had no diftemper, but lived in conftant fear of them all: My good genius dictated to me to bring him acquainted with Doctor Gruel; from that day he was always contented, because he had names for all his complaints; the good Doctor furnished • him with reafons for all his pains, and prefcriptions for every fancy that troubled him; in hot weather he lived upon juleps, and let blood to prevent fevers; when it grew cloudy he generally apprehended a confumption; to fhorten the hif tory of this wretched part of my life, he ruined ⚫ a good conftitution by endeavouring to mend it, • and took several medicines, which ended in taking the grand remedy, which cured both him and me of all uneafinefs. After his death, I did not expect to hear any more of Mr. Waitfort, I • I knew he had renounced me to all his friends, ⚫ and been very witty upon my choice, which he • affected to talk of with great indifferency; I gave over thinking of him, being told that he was engaged with a pretty woman and a great fortune: "It vexed me a little, but not enough to make me • neglect the advice of my coufin Wifbwell, that came to see me the day my Lord went into the country with Ruffel; the told me experimentally, nothing put an unfaithful lover and a dear hufband fo foon out of one's head, as a new one; and at the fame time, proposed to me a kinfman of hers: You understand enough of the world, (faid fhe) to know money is the most valuable confideration; he is very rich, and I am furecannot live long; he has a cough that must carry

;

him off foon. I knew afterwards fhe had given "the felf-fame character of me to him; but however "I was fo much purfuaded by her, I haftened on the match for fear he fhould die before the time came he had the fame fears, and was so preffing, I married him in a fortnight, refolving to keep it private a fortnight longer. During this fortnight Mr. Waitfort came to make me a vifit; he told me he had waited on me fooner, ← but had that refpect for me, he would not interrupt me in the first day of my affliction for my • dead Lord; that as foon as he heard I was at liberty to make another choice, he had broke off a match very advantageous for his fortune just upon the point of conclufion, and was forty times. more in love with me than ever. I never received more pleasure in my life than from this declaration, but I compofed my face to a grave air, and faid the news of his engagement had touched me to the heart, that in a rafh jealous fit, I had • married a man I could never have thought upon "if I had not loft all hopes of him. Good-natur

".

ed Mr. Waitfort had like to have dropt down "dead at hearing this, but went from me with fuch an air as plainiy fhewed me he laid all the blame upon himself, and hated thofe friends that had advised him to the fatal application; he seemed as much touched by my misfortune as his own, for he had not the leaft doubt I was paffionately in love with him. The truth of the ftory is, my new husband gave me reason to repent I had not • ftaid for him; he had married me for money, and I foon found he loved money to distraction ;. there was nothing he would not do to get it, nothing he would not fuffer to preferve it; the fmalleft expence kept him awake whole nights, and when he paid a bill it was with as many fighs, and after as many delays, as a man that endures the lofs of a limb. I heard nothing but reproofs for 'extravagancy,

6

extravagancy, whatever I did. I faw very well that he would have starved me, but for lofing my jointures; and he fuffered agonies between the grief of feeing me have fo good a ftomach, and the fear that, if he made me fast, it might preju• dice my health. I did not doubt he would have 'broke my heart, if I did not break his, which was allowed by the law of felf-defence. The way was very easy. I refolved to fpend as much money as I could, and, before he was aware of the ftroke, appeared before him in a two thousand pound diamond necklace; he said nothing, but went quietly to his chamber, and as it is thought compofed himself with a dofe of opium. I behaved myself fo well upon the occafion, that to this day I believe he died of an apoplexy. Mr. Waitfort was resolved not to be too late this time, ⚫ and I heard from him in two days. I am almost out of my weed at this prefent writing, and very doubtful whether I will marry him or no. I do " not think of a feventh, for the ridiculous reafon you mention, but out of pure morality, that I ⚫ think fo much conftancy fhould be rewarded, tho' I may not do it after all perhaps. I do not believe all the unreasonable malice of mankind can give a pretence why I fhould have been conftant to the ⚫ memory of any of the deceafed, or have fpent much time in grieving for an infolent, infignificant, negligent, extravagant, fplenetic, or covetous hufband; my first infulted me, my fecond was nothing to me, my third difgufted me, the "fourth would have ruined me, the fifth tormented me, and the fixth would have ftarved me. If 'the other Ladies you name would thus give in their husbands pictures at length, you would fee they have had as little reafon as myself to lose their hours in weeping and wailing.

FRIDAY,

N° 574.

FRIDAY, JULY 30.

Non poffidentem multa vocaveris
Rectè beatum; rectiùs occupat
Nomen beati, qui deorum
Muneribus fapienter uti,
Duramque callet pauperiem pati.

HOR. Od. ix. 1. 4. ver. 45.

Believe not thofe that lands poffefs
And fhining heaps of useless ore,
The only lords of happiness;

But rather thofe that know,
For what kind fates bestow,
And have the art to use the store:
That have the generous skill to bear
The hated weight of poverty.

CREECH.

I WAS once engaged in difcourfe with a Roficrucian about the great fecret. As this kind of men (I mean thofe of them who are not profeffed cheats) are over-run with enthusiasm and philosophy, it was very amufing to hear this religious adept defcanting on his pretended difcovery. He talked of the fecret as of a spirit which lived within an emerald, and converted every thing that was near it to the highest perfection it is capable of. It gives a luftre, fays he, to the fun, and water to the diamond. It irradiates every metal, and enriches lead with all the properties of gold. It heightens fmoke into flame, flame into light, and light into glory. He further added, that a single ray of it diffipates pain, and care, and melancholy, from the perfon on whom it falls. In short, fays he, its prefence naturally changes every place into a kind of heaven. After he had gone on for fome time in this unintelligible cant, I found that he jumbled natural and moral ideas together into the fame discourse,

and