ners.

in some retired and pleasant part of England, that I might have devoted my labours to the cultivation of land, after having weeded men's minds of whatever choked the growth of virtue and good manThis I do not yet despair of effecting, as I am not without hopes, that while we are at open war with France, the ladies will conceive such a dislike to the fashions of their enemies, as to let their hair grow again. If this cannot speedily be brought about, I must be forced to apply to the ministers for some lucrative employment, in return for that indulgence and complaisance which I have at all times shown them. It is impossible for me to conceive that my merits have been overlooked, though they have been hitherto unrewarded; and I make no kind of doubt that I need only present myself at their levees, to be asked what post I would choose. They do not want to be assured that I am as willing as able to assist them in all emergencies; or, which is still better, to vindicate their conduct against all opposers, to stifle clamours in their birth, to convert fears to hopes, complaints to approbation, and faction to concord.

But as I do not at present recollect any particular post of honour and profit that would better suit me than another, and knowing that the abusers of an administration are first to be provided for, I am willing to accept of a handsome sum of money, till something else may be done: or if a seat in parliament with a proper qualification, be thought necessary for me, I entirely acquiesce, as my eloquence in the house must be of signal service in all critical conjunctures. It would also be perfectly agreeable to me, if the government were to take off weekly twenty or thirty thousand of my papers, and circulate them among their friends; or if they object to such an expense, and should discover no inclina

tion to oblige me in any of the particulars abovementioned, I humbly intreat, that in lieu of the depredations made upon me by the French hair-cutters, and in consideration of my firm attachment to his majesty's family and government, orders be immediately issued from the lord steward's office, the board of green-cloth, or elsewhere, that henceforward all the tarts, pyes, pastry, and confectionary of any kind whatsoever, appertaining to his majesty's household, be constantly baked upon these papers. This would be making me sufficient amends, and greatly encourage me to continue this useful work, till a perfect library might be made of it, which otherwise must have an end before a hundred volumes can be completed.

That the ministry may entertain just notions of the efficacy of my good work, I shall here present them with some few of those offers, which are almost daily made by private persons.

A lady who has lately opened a new bagnio in Covent-garden, assures me in a letter, that if I will do her the favour to recommend her in the WORLD, I shall not only have the run of her house, but every one of her young ladies shall be obliged to take in my paper as long as it lasts. A grocer in the Strand has sent me a pound of his best tea, and promises to wrap up every ounce he sells, as also all his sugars and spices in these papers, if I will honour him so far as to make mention of him in any one of them. He adds in a postscript that his wife and five daughters, who do a great deal of work, make all their thread-papers of Worlds.

But a more material offer still, and which I have therefore reserved for the last, is contained in the following letter.

TO MR. FITZ-ADAM.

ESTEEMED friend,

This is to acquaint thee that we are makers of pins on the bridge called London-bridge, and that we have each of us given a considerable portion of money for the good-will of the habitations wherein we make abode: but by an act of the legislature lately passed, the said habitations are speedily to be pulled down, and their dwellers to be forced to remove to other abodes. If thou art in the least acquainted with traffic, thou canst not be ignorant of the benefits that accrue from an old established shop, in a street where the principal dealers in any particular commodity are known to dwell; inasmuch as when thou wantest a silken garment for thy wife, thou wouldst repair to the habitations of Roundcourt or Ludgate-hill; or if thy linen was rent, thou wouldst doubtless resort to Cheapside or Cornhill: in like manner, if thy helpmate or thy maidens wanted pins, thou wouldst not fail, if thou wert wise, to take thy walk to London-bridge. But by the act above-named, thy friends are exiled from their dwellings, and compelled to sojourn in a strange street, where even their names are unknown. We therefore request it of thee, if the rulers of the land behold thee with regard, that thou wilt apply thyself speedily to obtain a repeal of this act; wherein, if thou succeedest, we will buy up thy weekly labours in reams, and stick all our pins therein, so that thy name shall be known far and wide, and thy days prosperous in the land.

If thou art a well-wisher to thyself, thou wilt use thy best endeavours for the service of thy friends, EPHRAIM MINIKIN,

MALACHY SHORTWHITE,
OBADIAH MIDLING,

HEZEKIAH LONGPIN, &c. &c.

After duly deliberating upon this proposal, I am inclined to trouble the government no farther at present, than to request the repeal of this act, which if they are so kind as to grant me, my papers will again find their way to the dressing-rooms of the ladies, in spite of the intrigues of France, and her emissaries the hair-cutters.

No. 184. THURSDAY, JULY 8, 1756.

I was always particularly pleased with that scene in the first part of Harry the fourth, where the humourous sir John Falstaff, after upbraiding the prince with being the corrupter of his morals, and resolving on amendment, forms a very reasonable wish to know where a commodity of good names may be bought.' It happens indeed a little unfortunately, that he immediately relapses into his old courses, and enters into a scheme for a robbery that night, which he endeavours to justify, by calling it his TRADE: Why, Hal,' says, he, 'tis my VOCATION, Hal: 'tis no SIN for a man to LABOUR in his VOCATION.'

As often as this passage has occurred to me, I could not help thinking that if we were to look narrowly into the conduct of mankind, we should find the fat knight's excuse to have a more general influence than is commonly imagined. It should seem as if there were certain degrees of dishonesty, which were allowable, and that most occupations have an acknowledged latitude in one or more particulars, where men may be rogues with impunity, and almost without blame.

It will be no difficult task to illustrate the truth of this observation, by scrutinizing into the conduct of men of all ranks, orders, and professions. This shall be the subject of to-day's paper; and I shall begin where it is always good manners to begin, with my betters and superiors.

The tyrant, who to gratify his ambition, depopulates whole nations, and sacrifices the lives of millions of his subjects to his insatiable desire of conquest, is a GLORIOUS Prince; DESTRUCTION is his TRADE, and he is only LABOURING in his

VOCATION.

The statesman, who spreads corruption over a country, and enslaves the people to enrich himself, or aggrandize his master, is an ABLE minister; OPPRESSION is his calling, and it is no sin in him to LABOUR in his VOCATION.

The patriot, who opposes the measures of the statesman; who rails at corruption in the house, and bawls till morning for his poor bleeding country, may, if admitted to a post, adopt the principles he abhorred, and pursue the measures he condemned: such a one is a TRADER in POWER, and only LABOURING in his VOCATION.

The condescending patron, who, fond of followers and dependents, deals out his smiles to all about him, and buys flattery with promises; who shakes the needy wit by the hand, and assures him of his protection one hour, and forgets that he has ever seen him the next, is a GREAT MAN; deceit is his VOCATION.

The man in office, whose perquisites are wrung from the poor pittances of the miserable, and who enriches himself by pillaging the widow and the orphan, receives no more than his ACCUSTOMED DUES, and is only LABOURING in his VOCATION.

The divine, who subscribes to articles that he