nity, that it became her brother Ptolemy to blush, at laying her under the necessity of doing an action that was so much beneath her. I have laid the whole affair before the minister of the parish, who has taken a great deal of pains to reason them into their senses, but to no purpose: and unless you, Mr. Fitz-Adam, who are a travelled man, can direct them to any part of the globe, where great names, great pride, great indolence, and great poverty are the only qualifications that men look for in a wife, I must shut up shop in a few days, and leave miss Wilhelmina Charlotta, and the other misses her sisters, with their illustrious names, to go begging about the streets. If you know of any such place, and will do me the favour to mention it in your next Thursday's paper, you will save a whole family from ruin, and infinitely oblige, sir, Your most sorrowful humble servant, P. LAYCOCK. The case of my correspondent is, I confess, a very hard one; and I wish with all my heart that I had discovered in my travels such a country as he hints at. All the advice I can give him is, to send for the minister of the parish once more, and get his sisters re-baptized: for till they can be prevailed upon to have new names, it will be altogether impossible to give them new natures. No. 188. THURSDAY, AUGUST 5, 1756. THOUGH the first of the following letters bears a little hard upon the ladies, for whom I have always z S professed a regard even to veneration, yet I am induced to give it a place in my paper, from the consideration, that if the complaint contained in it should happen to have the least foundation in truth, they may have an opportunity of adding another proof to the multitudes they are daily giving, that they want only to be told of their errors to amend them. Of the second letter I shall say nothing more, than that the expedient proposed in it to remove the evil complained of has my entire approbation. SIR, TO MR. FITZ-ADAM. With as much devotion for the fair as any man, and as high a sense of the happiness they are capable of imparting, I have resolved to die an old bachelor; yet not in the least determined by the strongest arguments against matrimony, or the most fashionable motives to a single life. It is my misfortune to esteem delicacy, economy, modesty, and some of the qualifications conveyed under the idea of notable, as the most engaging ornaments of a well-bred woman. How unhappy then am I, that none of these should be of repute in the present age! I had once formed a design of transporting myself to Spain or China, for a lady of the domestic kind; but giving the preference to those of my own country, I delayed my intention, till I should see the influence your weekly admonitions were attended with. I am now sorry to find, that notwithstanding your censorial dignity, they have openly dared to persist in those fashions you have so long opposed. An unaccountable propensity to visit public places, a general nakedness of shoulders, a remarkable bluffness of face, a loud voice, and a masculine air, have lately gained much ground in the country; and I am apt to think I shall shortly see the necks and bosoms of my fair countrywomen painted with devices of birds and beasts, in imitation of the ancient Britons, though they are now contented with plain white and red. I have observed, that as we are gradually retreating from the courage and greatness of our sex, the ladies are advancing with hasty strides upon us; and whether we shall long maintain the pre-eminence, is a point much liable to dispute. I cannot but suspect them of entertaining designs of invading the province of man; and though I acknowledge their boundless power, I never was formed to obey, and cannot think of submission. But admitting that the present generation of beauties are totally unfit for wives, except to those gentle minds who would think themselves honoured by having their thousands spent in the genteelest manner, yet in another capacity they might be made of the greatest service to their country. When I see their hair tied in a knot behind, or either hanging down in a ramillie, or folded up in ribands, I cannot but look on them as the fair defenders of Britain, on whose gallantry I should rather choose to rely, than on all the boasted prowess of our military beaux. On this footing I can excuse them for sacrificing the thousand nameless powers of pleasing which nature has invested them with, for the powers of destroying, and consent to their changing the darts of Cupid for the armour of Mars. Whatever magazines of lightning are laid up in their bright eyes, I hope they will blaze out on this occasion. If it should be objected that we ought to have proofs of their valour, and that a big look may be consistent with a faint heart; I answer, that there 2 can be no great reason to doubt the bravery of those who have made it one of their first maxims, never to be afraid of man' and besides, that natural love of conquest which possesses every individual of the female world, would animate them forward to the boldest enterprizes. I would farther propose, that the more gay and airy of them should be distributed into a body of flying light-horse; the Gadabouts would make an excellent company of foragers; the more delicate of them would serve to carry the colours, and the sight of them would inspire the soldiers with unequalled resolution and courage. Thus they might all be disposed in ranks and stations suitable to their respective merits, distinctions, and qualifications, from the first lady of quality to the lowest belle in the country village. I should also advise, that a sufficient number of female transports should be sent to the relief of our garrisons abroad, if it was not from my apprehensions that they would not be able to sustain a long siege, and might perhaps be captivated by the immense fineness of an embroidered knight of the order of St. Louis. I have only one circumstance more to mention to excite their zeal, which is, that they must be obliged to content themselves with their own invented fashions, till the successes of their arms shall oblige the French to accept of our wealth for those that are à la mode de Paris. If this proposal be agreeable to your judgment, I hope you will second it by the warmest encouragements. May we not exult in the prospect of that glorious career of success which must attend an army of heroines, bred to a contempt of danger, and trained up from infancy itself, to the most intimate acquaintance with balls, drums, routs, hurricanes and the like? I am, sir, Your humble servant, MR. FITZ-ADAM, I have a complaint to lay before you, which, to the best of my memory, you have not hitherto touched upon. The ground of my complaint, sir, is this. News, you know, never was more fluctuating than at this moment. What we are told at breakfast is contradicted by noon, and that again is old by dinner; the dinner-tale scarcely lasts till coffee, and all is found to be false before night. And yet, sir, there are a set of wise men, who are always satisfied with the last tale, and constantly assure you they were all along of that opinion. 'Lord, sir, I knew it must be so: how could it be otherwise? I always said so:' and though accounts vary to-morrow, it does not at all affect them; for to-morrow they will have been all along perfectly well acquainted with just the contrary to what they knew so well to-day. This everlasting knowledge and secret intelligence is really, sir, a most provoking insult on us poor things, who are not so knowing. If I am wrong to-day my friend is wrong tomorrow, and that puts us on an equality: but these people, who are always sure to be of the right opinion, because they have no opinion at all, are not to be endured. But it is one thing to complain, and another to redress; and unless I thought I had some method to remedy the evil, I would not complain of it. The remedy I would propose is simply this: that the term I be for ever excluded all conversations. There is not, perhaps, one single impertinence or foppery in discourse, that is not imputable to that same little letter I. The old man, going to repeat the lie he has talked himself into a belief of, cries, I remember when I was young. The maiden of fifty blesses her stars, and says, I was not such a |