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eing-suit in a mask. Oh! Captain Clerimont, I sure. One would not think 'twas in you—you're have a quarrel with you.
so gay—and dance so very highEnter Servant.
Humph. What should ail me? Did you think
I was wind-gall’d? I can sing too, if I please Seto. Madam, your lady ship's husband de. but I won't till I see your sister. This is a mighty sires to know whether you see company to-day, pretty house. or not?
Mrs Cler. Well, do you know that I like this Mrs Cler. Who, you clown?
gentleman extremely; I should be glad to inform Sert. Mr Clerimont, madam.
him-But, were you never in France, Mr Mrs Cler. He may come in.
Humph. No ;-but I'm always thus pleasant, Enter CLERIMONT, Sen.
if my father's not by—- protest, I'd advise Mr's Cler. Your very humble servant. your sister to have me—I'm for marrying her Cler. Sen. I was going to take the air this at once—why should I stand shilly-shally, like morning, in my coach, and did myself the ho a country bumpkin ? nour, before I went, to receive your commands, Fain. Mr Gubbin, I dare say she'll be as forfinding you saw company.
ward as you; we'll go in and see her.
Apart. Mrs Cler. At any time, when you know I do, Mrs Cler. Then he has not yet seen the lady you may let me see you. Pray how did you sleep he is in love with ? I protest very new and gallast night ?
- If I had not asked him that ques- lant-Mr Gubbin, she must needs believe you a tion, they might have thought we lay together. frank person--Fainlove, I must see this sister (Aside.] [Here FAINLOVE, tooking through a too, l'ın resolved she shall like him. perspective, bous to CLERIMONT, Senior.] But, There needs not time true passion to discover: captain, I have a quarrel with you—I have ut The most believing is the most a lover. terly forgot those three coupees, you promised to
[Exeunt. come again, and shew me. Your humble servant, Bir. - But, oh! (As she is going to be led by the
SCENE II.-The Park, captain.) Have you sign'd that mortgage, to pay off my lady Faddle's winning at ombre?
Enter Niece, sola. Cler. Sen. Yes, madam. Mrs Cler. Then all's well, my honour's safe. struck at first sight! I'm ashan’d of my weak
Niece. Oh, Clerimont! Clerimont! To be (Erit CLERIMONT, Sen.) Come, captain, lead me this step—for I am apt to make a false one-you ging amour; I love solitude; I grow pale; I sigh
ness; I find in myself all the symptoms of a rashall shew me. Cupt. I'll shew you, madam, 'tis no matter for when I don't think of it -- his person is ever in
frequently; I call upon the name of Clerimont, a fiddle; I'll give you them the French way, in a teaching trine. Pray, more quick made- \I long to lose myself in some pensive grove, or
my eyes, and his voice in my ears—methinks moiselle que faitez viris-A moi-There again to hang over the head of some warbling founNow slide, as it were, with and without' measure tain, with a lute in my hand, softening the mur
- There you out-did the gipsey and you murs of the water. have all the smiles of the dance to a tittle. Mrs Cler. Why, truly, I think that the great
Enter Aunt. est patt- I have seen an English-woman dance a jig with the severity of a vestal virgin
Aunt. Biddy, Biddy! where's Biddy Tipkin Humph. If this be French dancing and sing.
Niece. Whom do you inquire for? ing, I fancy I could do it-Haw! haw!
Aunt. Come, come, he's just'a-coming at the
(Capers aside. Mrs Cler. I protest, Mr Gubbin, you have al
Niece. Who is coming ? most the step, without any of our country bash
Aunt. Your cousin Humphry—who should be fulness. “Give me your hand-Haw; haw! So, coming? Your lover, your husband that is to be so, a little quicker-that's right, haw! Captain,
- Pray, my dear, look well, and be civil, for your brother delivered this spark to me, to be dio your credit and mine too. verted here, till he calls for him.
Niece. If be answers my idea, I shall rally the (Eril Capt. CLERINOXT. rustic to death. Humph. This cutting so high makes one's
Aunt. Hist-here he is. money jingle confoundedly. I'm resolved I'll
Enter HUMPHRY. never carry above one pocket full hereafter. Mrs Cler. You do it yery readily--You amaze Humph. Aunt, your humble servant Is
that, ha! aunt? Humph. Are the gentlemen of France gene Aunt. Yes, cousin Humphry, that's your cousin rally so well bred as we are in England ? - Are Bridget. Well, I'll leave you together. they, madam, ha! But, young gentleman, when
(Exit Aunt. They sit. shall I see this sister? Haw, baw, haw! Is not Humph. Aunt does as she'd be done by, cousin the higher one jumps the better?
Bridget, does not she, cousin ? ha! What, are Fain. She'll be mightily taken with you, I'm you a Londoner, and not speak to a gentleman ?
Look ye, cousin, the old folks resolving to marry Niece. This merits my attention. (Aside. us, I thought it would be proper to see how I Humph. Look ye d’ye see -as I said, I don't liked you, as not caring to buy a pig in a poke care for you — I would not have you set your -for I love to look before I leap.
heart on me—but if you like any body else let Niece. Sir, your person and address bring to me know it-and I'll find out a way for us to get my mind the whole history of Valentine and rid of one another, and deceive the old folks tha Orson: what ! would they marry me to a wild would couple us. man? Pray answer me a question or two.
Niece. This wears the face of an amour-.There Humph. Ay, ay, as many as you please, cousin is something in that thought which makes thy Bridget.
presence less insupportable. Niece. What wood were you taken in? How Humph. Nay, nay, now you're growing fond; long have you been caught?
if you come with these maids tricks, to say you Humph. Caught !
hate at first, and afterwards like me, you'll spoil Nicce. Where were your haunts?
the whole design. Humph. My haunts !
Niece. Don't fear it- When I think of conNiece. Are not clothes very uneasy to you? Is sorting with thee, may the wild boar defile the this strange dress the first you ever wore? cleanly ermine, may the tiger be wedded to the Humph. How!
kid ! Niece. Are you not a great admirer of roots, Humph. When I of thee, may the pole-cat caand raw flesh-Let me look upon your nails terwaul with the civet! Don't
you love blackberries, haws, and pig Niece. When I harbour the least thought of nuts, mightily?
thee, may the silver Thames forget its course! Humph. How!
Humph. When I like thee, may I be soused Niece. Canst thou deny that thou wert suckled over head and ears in a horse-pond!-- But do by a wolf? You ha’n't been so barbarous, I hope, you hate me? since you came amongst men, as to hunt your nurse-Have you?
Enter Aunt. Humph. Hunt my nurse? Ay, 'tis so, she's Niece. For ever ; and you me? distracted as sure as a gun--Hark ye, cousin, Humph. Most heartily. pray will
you let me ask you a question or two? Aunt. Ha! I like this - They are come to Niece. If thou hast yet learnt the use of lan-promises—and protestations.
(Aside. guage, speak, monster.
Humph. I am very glad I have found a way to Humph. How long have you been thus ?
please you. Niece. Thus! what wouldst thou say?
Niece. You promise to be constant. Humph. What's the cause of it? Tell me truly Humph. Till death. now-Did you ever love any body before me? Niece. Thou best of savages ! Niece. Go, go, thou’rt a savage. (Rises. Humph. Thou best of savages ! poor Biddy.
Humph. They never let you go abroad, I sup Aunt. Oh the pretty couple! joking on one anopose.
ther. Well, how do you like your cousin HumNiece. Thou’rt a monster, I tell thee.
phry now? Humph. Indeed, cousin, though it is folly to Niece. Much better than I thought I should tell thee so- I am afraid thou art a mad woman. He's quite another thing than what I took him Nicce. I'll have thee into some forest.
for-We have both the same passions for one Humph. I'll take thee into a dark room. another. Niece. I hate thee.
Humph. We wanted only an occasion to open Humph. I wish you did–There's no hate lost, our hearts, aunt. I assure thee, cousin Bridget.
Aunt, Oh, how this will rejoice ny brother, Niece. Cousin Bridget, quoth-a !—I'd as soon and Sir Harry! we'll go to 'em. claim kindred with a mountain bear-I detest thee. Humph. No, I must fetch a walk with a new
Humph. You never do any harm in these fits, acquaintance, Mr Samuel Pounce. I hope-But do you hate me in earnest ?
Aunt. An excellent acquaintance for your hus. Niece. Dost thou ask it, ungentle forester ? band! come, niece, come.
Humph. Yes, for I've a reason, look ye. It Niece, Farewell, rustic. happens very well if you hate me, and in your Humph. B'ye, Biddy. senses, for to tell you truly—I don't much care Aunt. Rustic! Biddy! Ha! ha! pretty crea. for you; and there is another fine woman, as I tures.
(Exeunt. am inform'd, that is in some hopes of having me.
Niece. Since you understand things so well, I
wonder you never married yourself. Enter Captain CLERIMONT und POUNCE. Aunt. My dear, I was very cruel thirty years
ago, and nobody ask'd me since. Capt. Does she expect me, then, at this very Niece. Alas-a-day ! instant ?
Aunt. Yet, I assure you, there were a great Pounce. I tell you, she ordered me to bring many matches proposed to me-There was Sir the painter at this very hour precisely, to draw
Gilbert Jolly; but he, forsooth, could not please; her niece for, to make her picture peculiarly he drank ale, and smok’d tobacco, and was no charming, she has now that down-cast pretty fine gentleman, forsooth—but then, again, there shame, that warm cheek, glowing with the fear
was young Mr Peregrine Shapely, who had traand hope of to-day's fate, with the inviting, coy vell’d, and spoke French, and smiled at all I said; affectation of a bride, all in her face at once. he was a fine gentleman-but then he was conNow I know you are a pretender that way. sumptive: and yet again, to see how one may be
Capt. Enough, I warrant, to personate the cha- mistaken : Sir Jolly died in half a year, and my racter on such an inspiring occasion.
lady Shapely has by that thin slip eight children, Pounce. You must have the song I spoke of that should have been mine; but here's the brideperform’d at this window-at the end of which I'll give you a signal -Every thing is ready for you,
groom. So, cousin Humphry ! your pencil, your canvas stretch'd-your-Bé
Enter HUMPHRY. sure you play your part in humour: to be a pain
Humph. Your servant, ladies—So, my dearter for a lady, you're to have the excessive flat Niece. So, my savagetery of a lover, the ready invention of a poet, and
Aunt. O fie, no more of that to your husband, the easy gesture of a player.
Humph. No matter, I like it as well as duck or imagination out-runs all you can say: be gone, love : I know my cousin loves me as well as I do be gone!
Aunt. I'll leave you together; I must go and A SONG.
get ready an entertainment for you when you Why, lovely charmer, tell me why,
(Exit. So very kind, and yet so shy?
Humph. Well, cousin, are you constant?-
Do you hate me still ?
Niece. As much as ever.
Humph. What a happiness it is, when peo-
ple's inclinations jump! 'I wish I knew what to
do with you: can you get nobody, d'ye think, to In vain you strive with all your art,
marry you? By turns to freeze and fire my heart :
Niece. Oh, Clerimont, Clerimont! where art When I behold a face so fair,
Aunt. This, sir, is the lady whom you are to
draw-You see, sir, as good flesh and blood as (After the song, POUNCE appears beckoning the
a man would desire to put in colours--I must Captain.
have her maiden picture.
Ha, cousin !
Niece. Hold thy tongue, good savage.
Capt. Madain, I'm generally forced to newEnter Aunt and Niece,
mould every feature, and mend nature's handyAunt. Indeed, niece, I am as much overjoy'd work; but here she has made so finished an ori. to see your wedding day, as if it were my own. ginal, that I despair of my copy's coming up to it,
Niece. But why must it be huddled up so? Aunt. Do you hear that, niece ?
Aunt. Oh, my dear, a private wedding is much Niece. I don't desire you to inake graces where better; your mother had such a bustle at hers, you find none. with feasting and fooling: besides, they did not Capt. To see the difference of the fair sexgo to bed till two in the morning,
I protest to you, madam, my fancy is utterly ex
hausted with inventing faces for those that sit to Capt. Here, madam, shall be your own picture, me. The first entertainment I generally meet here the palfrey, and here the dwarf-The dwarf with, are complaints for want of sleep; they ne must be very little, or we sha'n't have room for ver look'd so pale in their lives, as when they him. sit for their pictures—Then, so many
touches Niece. A dwarf cannot be too little. and re-touches, when the face is finished Capt. I'll make him a blackamoor, to distinThat wrinkle ought not to have been, those eyes guish him from the other too powerful dwarfare too languid, the colour's two weak, that side (Sighs) the Cupid I'll place that beauteous boy look hides the mole on the left cheek. In short, near you ; 't will look very natural-He'll certainly the whole likeness is struck out: but in you, nia take you for his mother Venus. dam, the highest I can come up to will be but ri. Nitce. I leave these particulars to your own gid justice.
fancy. Humph. A comical dog, this !
Capt. Please, madam, to uncover your neck a Aunt. Truly the gentleman seems to under- little; a little lower still-a little, little lower. stand his business.
Niece. I'll be drawn thus, if you please, sir. Niece. Sir, if your pencil flatters like your Cupt. Ladies, have you heard the news of a tongue, you are going to draw a picture that late marriage between a young lady of a great forwon't be at all like me. Sure, I have heard that tune and a younger brother of a good family? voice sounewhere.
(dside. Aunt. Pray, sir, how is it? Cupt. Madam, be pleased to place yourself Capt. This young gentleman, ladies, is a parnear me; nearer still, madaın, here falls the best ticular acquaintance of mine, and much about my light.-You must know, madam, there are three age and stature; (look me full in the face, makinds of airs which the ladies most delight in- dam;) he accidentally met the young lady, who There is your haughty-your miid—and your pen- had in her all the perfections of her sex ; (hold sive air-The haughty may be express’d with the up your head, madam; that's right :) she let him head a little more erect chan ordinary, and the know that his person and discourse were not alcountenance with a certain disdain in it, so as together disagreeable to her—the difficulty was, she may appear almost, but not quite, inexorable: how to gain a second interview; (your eyes full this kind of air is generally heightened with a upon mine, madam ;) for never was there such a little knitting of the brows—I gave iny lady sigher in all the valleys of Arcadia, as that unforScornwell her choice of a dozen frowns, before tunate youth, during the absence of her he loved. she could find one to her liking.
Auni. A-lack-a-day-poor young gentleman ! Niece. But what's the mild air?
Niece. It must be hc-_-what a charming Capt. The mild air is composed of a languish, amour is this !
(Aside. and a smile But if I might advise, I'd rather Capt. At length, ladies, he bethought himself be a pensive beauty; the pensive usually feels her of an expedient ; he dress’d himselt just as I am pulse, leans on one arm, or sits ruminating with now, and came to draw her picture; (your eyes à book in her hand which conversation she full upon mine, pray, madam.) is supposed to choose, rather than the endless Humph. A subtle dog, I warrant him. importunities of lovers.
Capt. And by that means found an opportunity Humph. A comical dog.
of carrying her off
, and marrying her. Aunt. Upon my word he understands his Aunt. Indeed, your friend was a very vicious business well; I'll tell you, niece, how your mo
young man. ther was drawn She had an orange in her Niece. Yet, perhaps, the young lady was not hand, and a nosegay in her bosom, but a look so displeased at what he had done. pure and fresh colour’d, you'd have taken her Capı. But, madam, what were the transports of for one of the Seasons.
the lover, when she made him that confession ! Capt. You scem, indeed, madam, most inclined Niece. I dare say she thought herself very hapto the pensive - The pensive delights also in py, when she got out of her guardian's hands. the fall of waters, pastoral figures, or any rural Aunt. 'Tis very true, niece-There are abunview suitable to a fair lady, who, with a delicate dance of those head-strong young baggages about spleen, has retired from the world, as sick of its town. flattery and admiration.
Capt. The gentleman has often told me, he was Niece. No-since there is room for fancy in strangely struck at first sight; but when she sat a picture, I would be drawn like the amazon to him for her picture, and assumed all those Thalestris, with a spear in my hand, and an bel- graces that are proper for the occasion, his tormet on a table before me -At a distance be ment was so exquisite, his occasions so violent, hind, let there be a dwarf, holding by the bridle that he could not have lived a day, had he not a milk-white palfrey
found means to make the charmer of his heart Cup'. Madam, the thought is full of spirit ; and, his own. if you please, there shall be a Cupid stealing away Humph. 'Tis certainly the foolishest thing in your helmet, to show that love should have a part the world to stand shilly-shally about a womail, in all gallant actions.
when one has a mind to marry her. Nice. That circumstance may be very pictu Capt. The young painter turn’d poet on the resque.
subject; I believe I have the words by heart.
Niece. A sonnet! pray repeat it.
Humph. Why, then, I tell you what-marry
him. A painter's a very genteel calling-He's an Capt. When gentle Parthenissa walks, ingenious fellow, and certainly poor, I fancy be'd And sweetly smiles, and gaily talks,
be glad on't ; I'll keep my aunt out of the room A thousand shafts around her fly,
a minute or two, that's all the time you have to A thousand swains unheeded die: consider.
Cupt. Fortune points out to us this only occaIf then she labours to be seen,
sion of our happiness : love's of celestial origin, With all her killing air and mien ; and needs no long acquaintance to be manifest. From so much beauty, so much art,
Lovers, like angels, speak by intuition — Their What mortal can secure his heart? souls are in their eyes.
Niece. Then I fear he sees mine. (Aside.) But Humph. I fancy if 'twas sung, 'twould make a I cann't think of abridging our amours, and cutting very pretty catch.
off all farther decorations of disguise, serenade, Cupt. My servant has a voice, you shall hear and adventure. it.
(Here it is sung. Capt. Nor would I willingly lose the merit of Aunt. Why, this is pretty. I think a painter long services, midnight sighs, and plaintive solishould never be without a good singer- It bright- tudes-were there not a necessity. ens the features strangely—I profess I'm mightily Niece. Then to be seized by stealth ! pleased; I'll but just step in, and give some or Capt. Why, madam, you are a great fortune, ders, and be with you presently. [E.rit. and should not be married the common way. In
Niece. Was not this adventurous painter called deed, madam, you ought to be stolen; nay, in Clerimont?
strictness, I don't know but you ought to be raCapt. It was Clerimont, the servant of Parthe- vish’d. nissa; but let me beseech that beauteous maid to Niece. But then our history will be short. resolve, and make the incident I feign’d to her a Cupt. I grant it ; but you don't consider there's
-consider, madam, you are environ'd a device in another's leading you instead of this by cruel and treacherous guards, which would person that's to have you; and, madam, though force you to a disagreeable marriage; your case is our amours cannot furnish out a romance, they'll exactly the same with the princess of the Leon- make a very pretty novel Why smiles my tines in Clelia.
fair? Niece. How can we commit such a solecism Niece. I am almost of opinion, that had Oroonagainst all rules ! what, in the first leaf of our dates been as pressing as Clerimont, Cassandra history to have the marriage? You know it can had been but a pocket-book : but it looks so ornot be.
dinary, to go out at a door to be married-Indeed, Cupt. The pleasantest part of the bistory will I ought to be taken out of a window, and run be after marriage. Niece. No! I never yet read of a knight that
Enter HUMPHRY and POUNCE. entered tilt or tournament after wedlock - Tis not to be expected—When the husband begins, Humph. Well, cousin, the coach is at the door. the hero ends; all that noble impulse to glory, all If you please I'll lead you. the generous passion for adventures is consumed Niece. I put myself into your hands, good sain the muptial torch ; I don't know how it is, but vage; but you promise to leave me, Mars and Hymen never hit it.
Humph. I tell you plainly, you must not think Humph. Listening.) Consumed in the nuptial of having me. torch. Mars and Hymen! What can all this Pounce. (To Capt.] You'll have opportunity mean?-I am very glad I can hardly read— They enough to carry her off; the old fellow will be could never get these foolish fancies into my busy with me I'll gain all the time I can, but be head—I had always a strong brain. (Aside.] Hark bold and prosper. ye, cousin, is not this painter a comical dog ?
follow us. Niece. I think he's very agreeable company Capt. Upon the wings of love. (Ereunt.
recollect all you said to me when you first ruin'd SCENE I. -A Chamber.
me, that I may attack her right. Enter CLERIMONT, Senior, and FAINLOVE.
Cler. Sen. Your eloquence would be needless
'tis so unmodish to need persuasion: modesty Cler. Sen. Then she gave you this letter, and makes a lady embarrass'd—But my spouse is above bid you read it as a paper of verses ?
that; as, for example, (Reading the letter] Fain. Fain. This is the place, the hour, the lucky love, you don't seem to want wit-therefore I need minute-Now am I rubbing up my memory, to
say no more, than that distance to a woman of