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Charl. Oh, my glove! my glove! my glove!
Enter Colonel LAMBERT. you are in a perfect storm! Lord ! if you make such a rout with one's hand only, what would Col. Lamb. Name them this moment; for, poyou do if you had one's heart?
sitively, this is the last time of asking. Darn. That's impossible to tell.
Charl. Psha! who sent for you? were asking me of Seyward, madam?
Col. Lumb. I only came to teach you to speak Charl. Õh, ay! that's true. Well, now you plain English, my dear. are very good again.-Come, tell me all the Charl. Lord! 'mind your own business, cann't affair, and then you shall see-how I will like
Col. Lamb. So I will; for I will make you do Durn. Oh! that I could thus play with incli more of yours in two minutes, than you would nation!
have done without me in a twelvemonth. Why, Charl. Psha! but you don't tell me now. how now !-do you think the man's to dangle
Darn. There is not much to tell--only this : after your ridiculous airs for ever? We met the Attorney-General, to whom he has Charl. This is mighty pretty! given a very sensible account of himself, and the Col. Lamb. You'll say so on Thursday se'nnight, doctor's proceedings.-But, still more fortu for, let affairs take what turn they will in the fanate! there happened to be a gentleman present, mily, that's positively your wedding day—Nay, who came from the same part of the country with you shan't stir. Seyward, and is well acquainted with his family, Charl. Was ever such assurance ! and even remembers the circumstance of his mo Darn. Upon my life, madam, I am out of counther's death; who promises to be speedy and di- tenance ! I don't know how to behave myself. ligent in his enquiries.-We have been to the Charl. No, no; let him go on only—this is beCommons to search for her will, but none has yond whatever was known, sure ! been entered.-But as it can be proved she died ('ol. Lamb. Ha! ha! if I was to leave you to possessed of eight or ten thousand pounds, the yourselves, what a couple of pretty out-of-counAttorney-General seems very clear in his opinion, tenanced figures you would make! humming and that as the doctor, at the time of the death of bawing upon the vulgar points of jointure and Seyward's mother, was intrusted with her whole pin-money. -Come, come, I know what's proaffairs, the Court of Equity will oblige him to be per on both sides; you shall leave it to me. accountable.
Durn. I had rather Charlotte would name her Charl. If Seyward does not recover his fortune, own terins to me. you must absolutely get him a commission, and Col. Lamb. Have you a mind to any thing parbring him into acquaintance.
ticular, madam: Darn. Upon my word I will.
Charl. Why, sure! what, do you think I'm Charl. And shew him to all the women of only to be filled out as you please, and sweetentaste; and I'll have you call him my pretty fellow ed and sipped up like a dish of tea? too.
Col. Lamb. Why, pray, madam, when your Darn. I will, indeed !-but hear me, tea's ready, what have you to do but to drink it?
Charl, You cann’t conceive how prettily he But you, I supposc, expect a lover's heart, like makes love.
your lamp, should be always flaming at your elDurn. Not so well as you make your defence, bow; and when it's ready to go out, you indoCharlotte,
lently supply it with the spirit of contradiction. Charl. Lord! I had forgot; he is to teach me Charl. And so you suppose that your assurance Greek, too.
has made an end of this matter? Durn. Trifling tyrant! how long, Charlotte, Col. Lamb. Not till you have given him your do you think you can find new evasions for what hand upon it. I say to you?
Charl. That then would complete it? Charl. Lord, you are horrid silly! but since Col. Lumb. Perfectly. 'tis love that makes you such a dance-poor Charl. Why, then, take it, Darnley.-Now, I Darnley! I forgive you.
presume, you are in high triumph, sir. Darn. That's kind, however--- But, to com Col. Lumb. No, sister; now you are consistent plete my joy, be kinder yet-and
with that good sense I always thought you misCharl. oh! I cann't! I cann't !-Lord ! did tress of you never ride a horse-match ?
Charl. And now I beg we may separate ; for Darn. Was ever so wild a question ! our being seen together, at this critical juncture,
Charl. Because, if you have, it runs in my head may give that devil, the doctor, suspicion of a you gallopped a mile beyond the winning-post, to confederacy, and make him set some engine at make sure on't.
work that we are not aware of. Dern. Now, I understand you. But since you Col. Lumb. It's a very proper caution. Come will bave me touch every thing so very tenderly, along, Darnley; nay, you nust leave her now, Charlotte, how shall I find proper words to ask whatever violence you to yourself. you the lover's last necessary question.
Charl. Ay, ay, take him with you, brother-or Charl, Oh! there's a thousand points to be ad- stay, Darnley; if you please, you may come along justed before that's answered.
Darn. Well, but, sir, to come to the point. SCENE I.-A Parlour in Sir John LAM Suppose the doctor (whom, I presume, you deBERT's house.
sign her for) actually consents to give me up his
interest : Enter DARNLEY and CHARLOTTE.
Sir J. Lamb. But why do you suppose, sir, he Charl. But really, will you stand to the agree will give up his interest? ment, though, that I have made with the doc Darn, I only judge from what your daughter
tells me, sir. Darn. Why not? you shall not break your
Sir J. Lamb. My daughter ! word upon my account, though he might be a Darn. I appeal to her. villain you gave it to.
Churl. And I appeal even to yourself, sir Charl. Well, I take it as a compliment ; not Has not the doctor just now in the garden spoke but I have some hopes of getting over it, and in favour of Mr Darnley to you? Nay, pray, sir, justly too : but don't let me tell you now, I love be plain; because more depends on that than to surprise
—though you shall know all, if you you can easily imagine or believe. desire it.
Sir J. Lamb. What senseless insinuation have Darn. No, Charlotte; I don't want the se you got into your head now? cret: I am satisfied in your inclination to trust Charl. Be so kind, sir, first to answer me, that
be better able to inform you. Charl, Well then, I'll keep the secret, only to Sir J. Lamb. Well, I own he has declined his shew you that you may, upon occasion, trust interest in favour of Mr Darnley ; but I must me with one.
tell you, madam, he did it in so modest, so friendDarn. But pray, has the doctor yet given you ly, so good-natured, so conscientious a manner, any proof of his having declined his interest to that I now think myself more than ever bound in your father?
honour to espouse him. Charl. Yes; he told me just now he had Charl, But now, sir, (only for argument's sake) brought him to pause upon it, and does not ques- suppose I could prove that all this seeming virtue tion in two days to complete it; but desires, in was artificial ; that his regard for Mr Darnley the mean time, you will be ready and punctual was neither founded upon modesty, friendship, with the premium,
good-nature, nor conscience; or, in short, that Darn. Suppose I shoald talk with Sir John be has, like a villain, bartered, bargained to give myself ?-'tis true he has slighted me of late. me to Mr Darnley for halt the four thousand
Charl. No matter-Here he comes-This may pounds you valued his consent at; I say, sir, open another scene of action to that I believe my suppose this could be proved, where would be his brother's preparing for,
virtue then ?
Sir J. Lamb. It is impious to suppose it. Enter Sir John and Ludy LAMBERT. Charl. Then, sir, from what principle must you Sir J. Lamb. Mr Darnley, I am glad I have suppose that I accuse him? met you here.
Sir J. Lamb. From an obstinate prejudice to Durn. I have endeavoured twice to-day, sir, all that's good and virtuous. to pay my respects to you.
Churl. That's too hard, sir, But the worst Sir J. Lamb. Sir, I'll be plain with you—-I your opinion can provoke me to, is to marry Mr went out to avoid you ; but where the welfare of Darnley without either his consent or yours. a child is concerned, you must not take it ili if Sir İ. Land. What, do you brave me, madamn? we don't stand upon ceremony-However, since Charl, No, sir; but I scorn a lie; and will so I have reason now to be more in temper than far vindicate my integrity, as to insist on your perhaps I was at that time, I shall be glad to talk believing me; if not, as a child you abandon, i
have a right to throw myself into other arırs for Darn. I take it as a favour, sir.
protection. Sir J. Lamb. You must allow, Mr Darnley, Darn. Dear Charlotte, how your spirit charms that conscience is the rule which every honest
me ! man ought to walk by.
Sir J. Lamb. I am confounded. These tears Darn. 'Tis granted, sir.
cannot be counterfeit ; nor can this be true. Sir J. Lumb. Then give me leave to tell yori, Ludy Lumb. Indeed, my dear, I fear it is. Give sir, that giving you my daughter would be to act me leave to ask you one question. In all our muagainst that conscience I pretend to, while I tual course of happiness, have I ever yet decei. thought you an ill liver ; and consequently the ved you with a falsehood? same tie obliges me to bęstow her on a better
Sir J. Lamb. Never.
should I accuse him even of crimes which virtue Lady Lamb. But I'm afraid I interrupt your blushes but to mention ?
meditations. Sir J. Lamb. To what extravagance would you Dr Cant. No, madam, no; I was only looking drive me?
over some pious exhortations here, for the use of Lady, Lamb. I would before have undeceived a society of chosen brethren. you, when his late artifice turned the honest duty Lady Lamb. Ah, doctor! what have you done of your son into his own reproach and ruin : but to me? the trouble of my mind since our last unknowing then your temper was inaccessible, I fortunate conference, is not to be expressed. You durst not offer it.—But suppose I should be able indeed discovered to me, what, perhaps, for my to let you see his villany; make him repeat his own peace, 'twere better I had never been acodious love to me in your own hearing ; at once quainted with ; but I had not sufficient time to throw off the mask, and shew the barefaced trai- lay my heart open to you. tor:
Dr Cant. Whither, madam, would you lead Sir J. Lamb. Is it possible ?
Lady Lumb. But then, sir, I must prevail on Lady Lamb. I have been uneasy, too, not you to descend to the poor shifts we are reduced knowing how far you might mistake my behaviour
on the last accident that happened; but I was Sir J. Lamb. All; to any thing, to ease me of really so shocked, so terrified, I knew not what my doubts ! make me but witness of this fact, I was doing: only, had I joined in your defence and I shall soon accuse myself, and own my folly against the colonel, it would have been cvident equal to his baseness.
that I was his enemy; and I have uses for his Lady Lamb. Observe then, they that set friendship. Silence, therefore, was my only prutoils for beasts of prey
dent part; and I knew your credit with Sir John Sir J. Lamb. Place me where you please. needed no support.
Lady Lumb. Behind that screen you may easi Dr Cant. Let me presume then to hope, that ly conceal yourself.
what I did, you judge was self-defence, and pure Sir J. Lamb. Be it so.
necessity. Lady Lamb. Mr Darnley, shall we beg your Lady Lamb. And perhaps, after all, the accileave? and you, Charlotte, take the least suspec- dent was lucky; for Sir John, in order to obviate ted way to send the doctor to me directly. any ill constructions that may be put upon it, in
Charl. I have a thought will do it, madam. sists now that we should be more together, to let Sir J. Lamb. Oh, Charlotte ! Oh, Mr Darnley! the world see his confidence in us both. This
Durn. Have but resolution, sir, and fear no relieves us from restraint, and I now dare teil thing
you—but no—I won't(Ereunt DARNLEY and CHARLOTTE. Dr Cant. But why, madam ?--Let me beseech Lady Lumb. Now, sir, you are to consider you— what a desperate disease I have undertaken to Lady Lumb. No—besides—what need you ask cure: therefore, be sure to keep close and still ; and when the proof is full, appear at your discre Dr Cant. Ah ! do not endeavour to decoy my
foolish heart, too apt to flatter itself. You canSir J. Lamb. Fear not; I will conform myself, not, sure, think kindly of me? Yet, be not angry, my love, if in a case like this, Lady Lamb. Well, well, I would have you imwhere I should not believe even him accusing agine so. you; be not angry, I say, if I have also charity Dr Cant. Besides, may I not with reason susenough to hope you may yet be deceived in what pect that this apparent goodness is but artifice, a you charge him with, till the evidence of my own shadow of compliance, meant only to persuade senses assure me of the contrary.
me from your daughter. Lady Lamb. 'Tis just.
Lady Lumb. Methinks this doubt of me seems Sir I. Lamb. Hark! I think I hear him coming. rather founded on your settled resolution not to
Lady Lamb. Now, my dear, remember your resign her.—'Tis she, I find, is your substantial promise to have patience.
happiness. Sir J. Lamb. Rely upon't.
Dr Cant. Oh, that you could but fear I thought Lady Lamb. To your post then.
Sir J. Lunb. If this be truth, what will the Lady Lamb. I am convinced of it. I can as. world come to! (Sir John goes behind. sure you, sir, I should have saved you this trou
ble, had I known how deeply you were engaged Enter Doctor CANTWELL, with a Book.
to her. Dr Cant. Madam, your woman tells me, that Dr Cant. Tears !-then I must believe youbeing here, and alone, you desired to speak with but indeed you wrong me. To prove my inne
cence, it is not an hour since I pressed Sir John Lady Lumb. I did, sir-but, that we may be to give Charlotte to young Darnley. sure that we are alone, pray shut the outward Lady Lamb. Mere artitice. You knew that door, and see that the passage be clear too.- modest resignation would make Sir John warmer Another surprise might ruin us—is all safe? in your interest. Dr Cant. I have taken care, madam.
Dr Cant. Nò, indeed, indeed. I had other
motives, which you may hereafter be made ac house !—This instant be gone, and see my shamequainted with, and will convince you
ful face no more. Lady Lamb. Well, sir, now I'll give you rea Dr Cunt. Nay, then, 'tis my duty to exert myson to guess the reason why, at our last meeting, self, and let you know that I am master here. I pressed you so warmly to resign Charlotte. Turn you out, sir; this house is mine : and now, Dr Cant. Ah dear ! ah dear!
sir, at your peril, dare to insult me. Lady Lamb. You cannot blame me for having Sir J. Lamb. Oh, Heavens ! 'tis true; whither opposed your happiness, when my own, perhaps, shall I fly, to hide me from the world? depended upon it.
Lady Lamb. Whither are you going, sir? Dr Cant. Spare me, spare me : you kill me Sir J. Lamb. I know not-but here, it seems, with this kindness.
I am a trespasser—the master of the house has Lady Lamb. But, now that I have discovered warned me hence and, since the right is now my weakness, be secret ; for the least impru- in him, 'tis just I should resign it. dence
Lady Lamb. You shall not stir. He dares not Dr Cant. It is a vain fear.
act with such abandoned insolence. No, sir, posLady Lamb. Call it not vain : my reputation is session still is yours. If he pretends a right, let dearer to me than life.
him by open course of law maintain it. Dr Cont. Where can it find so sure a guard? Dr Cant. Ha ! Here! Seyward ! (Exit. the grave austerities of my life will dumb-found
Enter Old Lady LAMBERT and MAW-WORM. suspicion, and yours may defy detraction. Lady Lamb. Well, doctor, 'tis you must an
Sir J. Lumb. Who is this fellow ? what do you swer for my folly.
want, man? Dr Cunt. I take it all upon myself. Heaven, Maw. My lady, come up. 'tis
true, forbids certain gratifications; but there Old Lady Lamb. How now ! are ways of reconcilement, and laying the fears Muw. He wants to know who I be. of a too scrupulous conscience.
Old Lady Lamb. The gentleman is a friend of Lady Lamb. Every way, I perceive, you are de- minc, son. I was carrying him in a coach to attermined to get the better of me; but there's tend a controversy that's to be held this evening, one thing still to be afraid of.
at the Reverend Mr Scruple's, about an affair of Dr Cant. Nothing, nothing.
simony, and called to take up the doctor. But Lady Lamb. My husband, Sir John.
what strange tales are these i hear below ? Dr Cant, Alas, poor man, I will answer for Sir J. Lumb. The doctor is a villain, madam. hin. Between ourselves, madam, your husband I have detected bim ; detected him in the horriis weak; I can lead him by the nose any where. ble design of seducing my wife,
Mau, It's uopossible.
Sir J. Lamb. What do you say, man? Sir J. Lamb. No, caitiff, I'm to be led no far Muw. I say it's unpossible. He has been lockther.
ed up with my wife for hours together, mornDr Cant. Ah! woman,
ing, noon, and night, and I never found her the Sir J. Lamb. Is this your sanctity, this your worse for him. doctrine, these your meditations?
Old Lady Lamb. Ah, son! son! Dr Cant. Is then my brother in a conspiracy
Sir J. Lumb. What is your ladyship going to against me?
Sir J. Lamb. Your brother! I have been your Old Lady Lamb. The doctor is not in fault. friend, indeed, to my shame; your dupe ; but Sir J. Lumb. 'Slife, madam ! your spell has lost its hold: no more canting; it Old Ludy Lamb. Oh, he swears! he swears ! will not serve your turn any longer.
years in growing good, we become profligate in a Lady Lamb. Now Heaven be praised ! moment. If you swear again, I won't stay in the Dr Cant. It seems you wanted an excuse to
house. part with me.
Maw. Nor I neither: aren't you ashamed of. Sir J. Lamb. Ungrateful wretch !-but why do yourself? have you no commenseration on your I reproach you? Had I not been the weakest of soul ?-Ah! poor wicked sinner! I pity you. mankind, you never could have proved so great Sir J. Lamb. 'Sdeath! and the devil! a villain. Get out of my sight; leave my house : Mau. If you swear any more, I'll inform of all my follies, which is it tells you, that if you against you. stay much longer, I shall not be tempted to wrest Sir J. Lamb. Why would you bring this idiot, you out of the hands of the law, and punish you madam? as you deserve?
Muw. Ah, do despise me, I'm the prouder for Dr Cant. Well, but first let me ask you, sir, it; I likes to be despised. who it is you menace ? Consider your own condition, and where you are.
Enter CHARLOTTE. Sir J. Lamb. What would the villain drive Charl. Oh, dear papa, I shall faint away ; at?-leave me I forgive you but once more I there's murder doing. tell
you, seek some other place out of my Sir J. Lumb. Who? where? what is it?
Charl. The doctor, sir, and Seyward, were at Tipstaff. Then, sir, I have my Lord Chief Jushigh words just now in the garden; and, upon 3
tice's warrant against you. sudden, there was a pistol fired between then Dr Cant. Against me? Oh! I'm afraid poor Seyward is killed.
Tipstaff. Yes, sir, for a cheat and impostor. Sir J. Lamb. How?
old Lady Lamb. What does he say? Charl. Oh, here he comes himself; he'll tell Sir J. Lamb. Dear son, what is this? you more.
Col. Lamb. Only some action of the doctor's,
sir, which I have affidavits in my hand here to Enter CANTWELL, DARNLEY, SEYWARD, and prove, from more than one creditable witness, Servants.
and I think it my duty to make the public acDarn. Here, bring in this ruffian ; this is vil- quainted with; if he can acquit himself of them, lany beyond example.
so; if not, he must take the consequence. šir J. Lamb. What means this outrage ?
Dr Cant. Well, but stay; let the accusations Lady Lamb. I tremble.
against me be what they will, by virtue of this Sey. Don't be alarmed, madam—there is conveyance I am still master here; and, if I am no mischief done: what was intended, the doctor forced to leave the house myself, I will shut up here can best inform you.
the doors-nobody shall remain behind. Sir J. Lamb. Mr Darnley, I am ashamed to see Sir J. Lamb. There ! there! indeed he stings you
me to the heart! for that rash act, reproach and Maw. So you ought; but this good man is endless shame will haunt me! ashamed of nothing.
Charl. No, sir!-be comforted.—Even there, Dr Cant. Alas! my enemies prevail.
too, his wicked hopes must leave him ; for know, Seyw. In short, gentlemen, the affair is circum- the fatal deed, which you intended to sign, is stantially this :—The doctor called me out into here, even yet unsealed and innocent ! the pavilion in the garden; appeared in great dis
Sir J. Lamb. What mean you ? order ; told me here was a sudden storm raised, Charl. I mean, sir, that this deed by accident which he was not sufficiently prepared to weather. falling into this gentleman's hands, his generous He said, his dependance was upon me ; and, at concern for our family discovered it to me ; and all events, I must be ready to swear, when he that, in concert, we procured that other to be called upon me, I had seen him pay Sir John drawn exactly like it; which, in your impatience several large sums of money. He talked con to execute, passed unsuspected for the original. fusedly about giving value for an estate ; but I Their only difference is, that wherever here you boldly refused to perjure myself; and told him, read the doctor's name, there you'll find my on the contrary, I was satisfied he had fleeced brother's. Sir John of several large sums, under pretence Dr Cant. Come, sir, lead me where you please. of charitable uses, which he secretly converted Col. Lamb. Secure your prisoner. to his own.—This stung him—and he fastened Old Lady Lumb. I don't know what to make at my throat. Then, indeed, all temper left me; of all this. and, disengaging myself from his hold, with a Maw. They'll all go to the devil for what they home-blow struck him down. At this, grown are doing.–Come away, my lady, and let us see desperate, he ran with fury to some pistols that after the good dear doctor. Ay, do laugh, you'll þung above the chimney; but in the instant he go to the devil for all that.—Come, my lady, you reached one, I seized upon his wrist; and as we grappled, the pistol firing to the ceiling, alarmed (Exeunt MAW-WORM, and Old Lady LAMB. the family.
Charl. Now, Darnley, I hope I have made Old Lady Lamb. This is a lie, young man; I atonement for your jealousy: see the devil standing at your elbow.
Darn. You've banished it for ever! this was Mau. So do I, with a great big pitchfork push- beyond yourself surprising. ing him on
Col. Lamb. SisterDr Cant. Well, what have you more against Charl. Come, no set specches; if I deserve
your thanks, return them in friendship to your Darn. More, sir, I hope is needless—but, if first preserver, Sir John is yet unsatisfied
Col Lamb. The business of my life shall be to Sir J. Lamb. Oh! I have seen too much. mcrit it. Dr Cant. I demand my liberty,
Seyu. And mine, to speak my sense of obligaSir J. Lamb. Let him go.
Sir J. Lamb. Oh, my child! for my deliverEnter Colonel LAMBERT, Tipstaff, and Alten
ance, I can only reward you here. For you, dants.
my son, whose filial virtue I have injured, this Col. Lamb. Hold, sir! not so fast; you cann't honest deed shall in every article be ratified. pass.
And, for the sake of that hypocritical villain, I Dr Cant. Who, sir, shall dare to stop me? declare, that from henceforward I renounce all Col. Lamb. Within, there!
pious folks ; I will have an utter abhorrence for Tipstuff. Is your name Cantwell, sir ? cvery thing that bears the appearance Dr Cant. What if it be, sir?
Churl. Nay, now, my dear sir, I must take the