Sir Fran. For what? Mar. Pogh! for a hundred things; I cann't for my life tell you for what.

Cha. Sir, I suppose I have received all the answer I am like to have.

Mar. Oh, the devil! if he gets out before me I shall lose him again.

Sir Fran. Ay, sir, and you may be marching as soon as you please-I must see a change in your temper, ere you find one in mine.

Mar. Pray, sir, dispatch me; the money, sir! I'm in mighty haste.

Sir Fran. Fool, take this and go to the cashier. I sha'n't be long plagued with thee.

[Gives him a note. Mar. Devil take the cashier! I shall certainly have Charles gone before I come back.

[Runs out.

Cha. Well, sir, I take my leave-But remember you expose an only son to all the miseries of wretched poverty, which too often lays the plan for scenes of mischief.

Sir Fran. Stay, Charles! I have a sudden thought come into my head may prove to thy advantage.

Cha. Ha! does he relent?

Sir Fran. My lady Wrinkle, worth forty thousand pounds, sets up for a handsome young husband; she prais'd thee t'other day; though the match-makers can get twenty guineas for a sight of her, I can introduce thee for nothing.

Cha. My lady Wrinkle, sir ! why, she has but

one eye.

Sir Fran. Then she'll see but half your extravagance, sir.

Cha. Condemn me to such a piece of deformity! a toothless, dirty, wry-neck'd, hunch-back'd hag!

Sir Fran. Hunch-back'd! so much the better! then she has a rest for her misfortunes, for thou wilt load her swingingly. Now, I warrant you think this is no offer of a father; forty thousand pounds is nothing with you.

Cha. Yes, sir, I think it is too much; a young beautiful woman with half the money would be more agreeable. I thank you, sir; but you chuse better for yourself I find.

Sir Fran. Out of my doors, you dog! you pretend to meddle with my marriage, sirrah! Cha. Sir, I obey; but

Sir Fran. But me no buts-be gone, sir! dare to ask me for money again-refuse forty thousand pounds! Out of my doors, I say, without reply. [Exil CHARLES.

Enter MARPLOT, running.

Mar. Ha! gone! is Charles gone, Gardy? Sir Fran. Yes, and I desire your wise worship to walk after him.

Mar. Nay, 'egad, I shall run, I tell you that. A pox of the cashier for detaining me so long! Where the devil shall I find him now? I shall certainly lose this secret, and I had rather by half lose my money-Where shall I find him now D'ye know where Charles is gone, Gardy?

Sir Fran. Gone to the devil, and you may go after him.

Mar. Ay, that I will as fast as I can. [Going, returns.] Have you any commands there, Gardy? [Exit.

Sir Fran. What, is the fellow distracted?
Enter Servant.

Serv. Sir George Airy inquires for you, sir. Sir Fran. Desire Sir George to walk up.Now for a trial of skill that will make me happy, and him a fool. Ha, ha, ha! In my mind, he looks like an ass already.

Enter Sir GEORGE.

Well, Sir George, do you hold in the same mind, or would you capitulate? ha, ha, ha! Look, here are the guineas; [Chinks them] ha, ha, ha!

Sir Geo. Not if they were twice the sum, Sir Francis; therefore be brief, call in the lady, and take your post.

Sir Fran. Agreed.-Miranda !

[Exit.

Sir Geo. If she's a woman, and not seduc'd by witchcraft to this old rogue, I'll make his heart ache; for, if she has but one grain of inclination about her, I'll vary a thousand shapes but find it.

Enter MIRANDA and Sir FRANCIS. Sir Fran. There, Sir George, try your fortune. [Takes out his watch.

Sir Geo. So from the eastern chambers breaks the sun, dispels the clouds, and gilds the vales below. [Salutes her. Sir Fran. Hold, sir; kissing was not in our agreement.

Sir Geo. Oh! that's by way of prologue. Pr'ythee, old Mammon, to thy post.

Sir Fran. Well, young Timon, 'tis now four exactly; ten minutes, remember, is your utmost limit; not a minute more.

[Retires to the bottom of the stage. Sir Geo. Madam, whether you'll excuse or blame my love, the author of this rash proceeding, depends upon your pleasure, as also the life of your admirer; your sparkling eyes speak a heart susceptible of love, your vivacity a soul too delicate to admit the embraces of decayed mortality.

Mir. [Aside.] Oh! that I durst speak

Sir Geo. Shake off this tyrant guardian's yoke ; assume yourself, and dash his bold aspiring hopes. The deity of his desires is avarice, a heretic in love, and ought to be banish'd by the queen of beauty. See, madam, a faithful servant kneels, and begs to be admitted in the number of your slaves.

(MIRANDA gives him her hand to raise him. Sir Fran. I wish I could hear what he says now. [Running up.] Hold, hold, hold! no palming, that's contrary to articles

Sir Geo. 'Sdeath, sir, keep your distance, or I'll write another article in your guts.

[Lays his hand to his sword. Sir Fran. [Going back.] A bloody-minded fel

low.

Sir Geo. Not answer me ! perhaps she thinks

my address too grave: I'll be more free-Can you be so unconscionable, madam, to let me say all these fine things to you without one single compliment in return? View me well; am I not a proper handsome fellow, ha! Can you prefer that old, dry, wither'd, sapless log of sixty-five to the vigorous, gay, sprightly lover of twenty-four? With snoring only he'll awake thee, but I with ravishing delight will make thy senses dance in concert with the jovful minutes-Ha! not yet! Sure, she's dumb-Thus would I steal and touch thy beauteous hand, [Takes hold of her hund.] 'till by degrees I reach'd thy snowy breasts, then ravish kisses thus. [Embraces her with ecstacy. | Mir. [Struggles, and flings from him.] Oh, heavens! I shall not be able to contain myself.

[Aside. Sir Fran. [Running up with his watch in his hand.] Sure she did not speak to him-There's five of the ten minutes gone, Sir George-Adad, I don't like those close conferences

Sir Geo. More interruptions—you will have it, sir! [Lays his hand to his sword. Sir Fran. [Going back.] No, no: you sha'n't have her neither. Aside. Sir Geo. Dumb still-sure this old dog has enjoin'd her silence. I'll try another way-I must conclude, madam, that in compliance to your guardian's humour you refuse to answer me. Consider the injustice of his injunction.-Madam, these few minutes cost me a hundred pounds and would you answer me, I could purchase the whole day so. However, madam, you must give me leave to make the best interpretation I can for my money, and take the indication of your silence for the secret liking of my person; therefore, madam, I will instruct you how to keep your word inviolate to Sir Francis, and yet answer me to every question; as, for example, when I ask any thing to which you would reply in the affirmative, gently nod your head-thus, [Nods] and when in the negative, thus, [Shakes his head] | and in the doubtful, a tender sigh, thus. [Sighs.] Mir. How every action charms me--but I'll fit him for signs, I warrant him. [Aside. Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! poor Sir George! ha, ha, ha!

Sir Geo. Was it by his desire that you are dumb, madam, to all I can say ? [MIRANDA nods.] Very well! she's tractable I find-And is it possible that you can love him? [MIRANDA nods.] Miraculous! Pardon the bluntness of my questions, for my time is short. May I not hope to supplant him in your esteem? [MIRANDA sighs.] Good! she answers me as I could wish.-You'll not consent to marry him then? [MIRANDA sighs.] How! Doubtful in that?-Undone againHumph! but that may proceed from his power to keep her out of her estate 'till twenty-five: I'll try that-Come, madam, I cannot think you hesitate in this affair out of any motive but your fortune-let him keep it 'till those few years are expired; make me happy with your person, let him enjoy your wealth. [MIRANDA holds up her hands.] Why, what sign is that now? Nay, nay,

VOL. IV.

madam, except you observe my lesson, I cannot understand your meaning.

Sir Fran. What a vengeance! are they talking by signs? 'ad, I may be fool'd here. What do you mean, Sir George?

Sir Geo. To cut your throat, if you dare mutter another syllable.

Sir Fran. 'Od, I wish he were fairly out of my house!

Sir Geo. Pray, madam, will you answer me to the purpose? [MIRANDA shakes her head, and points to Sir FRANCIS.] What does she mean? She won't answer me to the purpose, or is she afraid yon old cuff should understand her signs? ―ay, it must be that. I perceive, madam, you are too apprehensive of the promise you have made to follow my rules, therefore I'll suppose your mind, and answer for you. First, for myself, madam; that I am in love with you is an infallible truth. Now for you. [Turns on her side.] Indeed, sir! and may I believe it?—As certainly, madam, as that 'tis day-light, or that I die if you persist in silence. Bless me with the music of your voice, and raise my spirits to their proper heaven. Thus low let me entreat ere I'm oblig'd to quit this place; grant me some token of a favourable reception, to keep my hopes alive. [Arises hastily, and turns on her side.] Rise, sir, and since my guardian's presence will not allow me privilege of tongue, read that, and rest assured you are not indifferent to me. [Offers her a letter, she strikes it down.] Ha, right woman! but no matter; I'll go on.

Sir Fran. Ha! what's that? a letter !—Ha, ha, ha! thou art baulk'd.

Mir. The best assurance I ever saw

[Aside.

the hundred pounds which thou hast won. Go, I'll be with you presently; ha, ha, ha, ha! [Exit MIRANDA. Sir Geo. Adsheart, madam, you won't leave me just in the nick, will you?

Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! she has nick'd you, Sir George, I think; ha, ha, ha! Have you any more hundred pounds to throw away upon courtship? ha, ha, ha!

Sir Geo. He, he, he, he! A curse of your fleering jests!-Yet, however ill I succeed, I'll venture the same wager she does not value thee a spoonful of snuff-nay, more, though you enjoin'd her silence to me, you'll never make her speak to the purpose with yourself.

Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! Did I not tell thee thou wouldst repent thy money? Did I not say she hated young fellows? ha, ha, ha!

Sir Geo. And I'm positive she's not in love with

age.

Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! no matter for that; ha, ha! She's not taken with your youth, nor your rhetoric to boot; ha, ha!

Sir Geo. Whate'er her reasons are for disliking of me, I am certain she can be taken with nothing about thee.

Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! how he swells with envy -Poor man! poor man-ha, ha, ha! I must beg your pardon, Sir George; Miranda will be impatient to have her share of mirth. Verily, we shall laugh at thee most egregiously; ha, ha, ha!

Sir Geo. With all my heart, faith- -I shall laugh in my turn too-for if you dare marry her, old Belzebub, you will be cuckolded most egregiously remember that, and trembleShe that to age her beauteous self resigns, Shews witty management for close designs; Then if thou'rt grac'd with fair Miranda's bed, Acteon's horns she means shall crown thy head.

[Exit.

Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! he is mad. These fluttering fops imagine they can wind, Turn and decoy to love all woman-kind; But here's a proof of wisdom in my charge, Old men are constant, young men live at large. The frugal hand can bills at sight defray, When he that lavish is has naught to pay. [Erit.

SCENE II.-Changes to Sir JEALOUS TRAF

FICK'S House.

Enter Sir JEALOUS, ISABINDA, and PATCH following.

Sir Jeal. What, in the balcony again, notwithstanding my positive commands to the contrary? -Why don't you write a bill on your forehead to shew passengers there's something to be let?

Isab. What harm can there be in a little fresh air, sir?

Sir Jeal. Is your constitution so hot, mistress, that it wants cooling, ha? Apply the virtuous Spanish rules; banish your taste and thoughts of flesh, feed upon roots, and quench your thirst with water.

Isab. That and a close room would certainly make me die of the vapours.

Sir Jeal. No, mistress, 'tis your high-fed, lusty, rambling, rampant ladies-that are troubled with the vapours: 'tis your ratafia, persico, cinnamon, citron, and spirit of clara, cause such swimming in the brain, that carries many a guinea full tide to the doctor: but you are not to be bred this way, no galloping abroad, no receiving visits at home, for in our loose country the women are as dangerous as the men.

Patch. So I told her, sir, and that it was not decent to be seen in a balcony- -but she threatened to slap my chops, and told me I was her servant, not her governess.

Sir Jeal. Did she so? but I'll make her to know that you are her duenna. Oh, that incomparable custom of Spain! Why, here's no depending upon old women in my country-for they are as wanton at eighty as a girl of eighteen, and a man may as safely trust to Asgil's translation as to his great grandmother's not marrying again. Isab. Or to the Spanish ladies' veils and duennas for the safeguard of their honour.

Sir Jeal. Dare to ridicule the cautious conduct of that wise nation, and I'll have you lock'd up this fortnight without a peep-hole.

Isab. If we had but the ghostly helps in England which they have in Spain, I might deceive you if you did-Sir, 'tis not the restraint, but the innate principle, secures the reputation and honour of our sex. -Let me tell you, sir, confinement sharpens the invention, as want of sight strengthens the other senses, and is often more pernicious than the recreation that innocent liberty allows.

Sir Jeal. Say you so, mistress! who the devil taught you the art of reasoning? I assure you, they must have a greater faith than I pretend to, that can think any woman innocent who requires liberty; therefore, Patch, to your charge I give her; lock her up till I come back from 'Change. I shall have some sauntering coxcomb, with ncthing but a red coat and a feather, think by leap ing into her arms to leap into my estate-but I'll prevent them; she shall be only Signior Babinetto's.

Patch. Really, sir, I wish you would employ any body else in this affair; I lead a life like a dog with obeying your commands. Come, madam, will you please to be locked up?

Isab. Ay, to enjoy more freedom than he is aware of. [Aside.] [Exit with PATCH.

Sir Jeal. I believe this wench is very true to my interest: I am happy I met with her, if I can but keep my daughter from being blown up till Signior Babinetto arrives, who shall marry her as soon as he comes, and carry her to Spain as soon as he has married her. She has a preg nant wit, and I'd no more have her an English wife than the grand signior's mistress. [Exit.

Enter WHISPER.

Whisp.. So, I saw Sir Jealous go out: where shall I find Mrs Patch now?

Mar. There he goes! Who the devil lives here? except I can find out that, I am as far from knowing his business as ever. Gad, I'll watch; it may be a bawdy-house, and he may have his throat cut. If there should be any mischief, I can make oath he went in. Well, Charles, in spite of your endeavours to keep me out of the secret, I may save your life, for aught I know. At that corner I'll plant myself; there I shall see whoever goes in or comes out. Gad, 1 love dis[Exit.

coveries.

SCENE II-Draws, and discovers CHARLES,

ISABINDA, and PATCH..

would make the frolic pleasing for a little time, by saying and doing a world of tender things; but when our small substance is exhausted, and a thousand requisites for life are wanting, Love, who rarely dwells with Poverty, would also fail

us.

Cha. Faith, I fancy not; methinks my heart has laid up a stock will last for life, to back which, I have taken a thousand pounds upon my uncle's estate: that, surely, will support us till one of our fathers relent.

Isab. There's no trusting to that, my friend; I doubt your father will carry his humour to the grave, and mine till he sees me settled in Spain.

Cha. And can you then cruelly resolve to stay till that cursed Don arrives, and suffer that youth, beauty, fire, and wit, to be sacrificed to the arms of a dull Spaniard, to be immured, and forbid the sight of any thing that's human?

Isab. No; when it comes to that extremity, and no stratagem can relieve us, thou shalt list for a soldier, and I'll carry thy knapsack after thee.

Cha. Bravely resolved! the world cannot be more savage than our parents, and fortune generally assists the bold, therefore consent now: why should she put it to a future hazard? Who knows when we shall have another opportunity?

Isub. Oh, you have your ladder of ropes, I suppose, and the closet window stands just where it did; and, if you ha'n't forgot to write in characters, Patch will find a way for our assignations. Thus much of the Spanish contrivance my father's severity has taught me, I thank him: though I hate the nation, I admire their management in

Enter PATCH.

Patch. Oh, madam! I see my master coming up the street.

Cha. Oh, the devil! would I had my ladder now! I thought you had not expected him till night. Why, why, why, why, what shall I do, madam?

Isab. Oh! for Heaven's sake don't go that way; you'll meet him full in the teeth. Oh, unlucky moment!

Cha. Adsheart! can you shut me into no cupboard, nor ram me into a chest, ha? Patch. Impossible, sir, he searches every hole in the house.