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Sir Fran. For what?

Sir Fran. Gone to the devil, and you may go Mar. Pogh ! for a hundred things; I cann't for after him. my life tell you for what.

Mar. Ay, that I will as fast as I can. (Going, Cha. Sir, I suppose I have received all the an- returns.] Have you any commands there, Gardy? swer I am like to have.

(Exit. Mar. Oh, the devil! if he gets out before me I Sir Fran. What, is the fellow distracted? shall lose him again. Sir Fran. Ay, sir, and you may be marching as

Enter Servant, soon as you please-I must see a change in your Serv. Sir George Airy inquires for you, sir. temper, ere you find one in mine.

Sir Fran. Desire Sir George to walk up.Mar. Pray, sir, dispatch me; the money, sir ! Now for a trial of skill that will make me happy, I'm in mighty haste.

and him a fool. Ha, ha, ha! In my mind, he Sir Fran. Fool, take this and go to the cashier. looks like an ass already. I sha'n't be long plagued with thee. [Gives him a note.

Enter Sir GEORGE. Mar. Devil take the cashier! I shall certain Well, Sir George, do you hold in the same mind, ly have Charles gone before I come back. or would you capitulate ? ha, ha, ha ! Look, here

[Runs out. are the guineas ; [Chinks them) ha, ha, ha! Cha. Well, sir, I take my leave-But remem Sir Geo. Not if they were twice the sum, Sir ber you expose an only son to all the miseries Francis ; therefore be brief, call in the lady, and of wretched poverty, which too often lays the take your post. plan for scenes of mischief.

Sir Fran. Agreed.—Miranda !

(Exit. Sir Fran. Stay, Charles ! I have a sudden Sir Geo. If she's a woman, and not seduc'd by thought come into my head may prove to thy ad- witchcraft to this old rogue, I'll make his heart vantage.

ache; for, if she has but one grain of inclination Cha. Ha! does he relent?

about her, I?ll vary a thousand shapes but find it. Sir Fran. My lady Wrinkle, worth forty thousand pounds, sets up for a handsome young hus Enter MIRANDA and Sir FRANCIS. band; she prais'd thee t'other day; though the Sir Fran. There, Sir George, try your fortune. match-makers can get twenty guineas for a sight

[Takes out his watch. of her, I can introduce thee for nothing.

Sir Geo. So from the eastern chambers breaks Cha. My lady Wrinkle, sir ! why, she has but the sun, dispels the clouds, and gilds the vales one eye.


(Salutes her. Sir Fran. Then she'll see but half

Sir Fran. Hold, sir; kissing was not in our

agreement. Cha. Condemn me to such a piece of defor Sir Geo. Oh! that's by way of prologue. Pr’ymity! a toothless, dirty, wry-neck’d, hunch-back'd thee, old Mammon, to thy post. hag!

Sir Fran. Well, young Timon, 'tis now four Sir Fran. Hunch-back'd! so much the better!

exactly ; ten minutes, remember, is your utmost then she has a rest for her misfortunes, for thou

limit; not a minute more. wilt load her swingingly. Now, I warrant you

(Retires to the bottom of the stage. think this is no offer of a father; forty thousand Sir Geo. Madam, whether you'll excuse or pounds is nothing with you.

blame my love, the author of this rash proceeding, Cha. Yes, sir, I think it is too much ; a young depends upon your pleasure, as also the life of beautiful woman with half the money would be your admirer ; your sparkling eyes speak a beart more agreeable.--I thank you, sir ; but you chuse susceptible of love, your vivacity a soul too delibetter for yourself I find.

cate to admit the embraces of decayed mortality. Sir Fran. Out of my doors, you dog! you pre Mir. (Aside.) Oh! that I durst speaktend to meddle with my marriage, sirrah !

Sir Geo. Shake off this tyrant guardian's yoke ; Cha. Sir, I obey; but

assume yourself, and dash his bold aspiring hopes. Sir Fran. But me no buts-be gone, sir ! dare The deity of his desires is avarice, a heretic in to ask me for money again-refuse forty thou- love, and ought to be banish’d by the queen of sand pounds! Out of my doors, I say, without beauty. See, madam, a faithful servant kneels, reply.

(Exit CHARLES. and begs to be admitted in the pumber of your

slaves, Enter MARPLOT, running.

(MIRANDA gives him her hand to raise him. Mar. Ha! gone! is Charles gone, Gardy? Sir Fran. I wish I could hear what he says

Sir Fran. Yes, and I desire your wise worship now. [Running up.] Hold, hold, hold ! no palmto walk after him.

ing, that's contrary to articlesMar. Nay, 'egad, I shall run, I tell you

that. A Sir Geo. 'Sdeath, sir, keep your distance, or pox of the cashier for detaining me so long ! I'll write another article in your guts. Where the devil shall I find him now? I shall

(Lays his hand to his sword. certainly lose this secret, and I had rather by half Sir Fran. (Going back.) A bloody-minded fellose my money

-Where shall I find him now low. -D'ye know where Charles is gone, Gardy? Sir Geo. Not answer me! perhaps she thinks

your extra

vagance, sir.

my address too grave: I'll be more free-Can | madam, except you observe my lesson, I cannot you be so unconscionable, madam, to let me say understand your meaning. all these fine things to you without one single Sir Fran. What a vengeance ! are they talking compliment in return? View me well; am I not by signs? ’ad, I may be fool'd here. What do a proper handsome fellow, ha! Can you prefer you mean, Sir George? that old, dry, wither'd, sapless log of sixty-five to Sir Geo. To cut your throat, if you dare mutter the vigorous, gay, sprightly lover of twenty-four ? another syllable. With snoring only he'll awake thee, but I with Sir Fran. 'Od, I wish he were fairly out of my ravishing delight will make thy senses dance in house ! concert with the jovful minutes—Ha! not yet! Sir Geo. Pray, madam, will you answer me to Sure, she's dumb Thus would I steal and touch the purpose? (MIRANDA shakes her head, and thy beauteous hand, [Takes hold of her hund.) 'till points to Sir FRANCIS.) What does she mean? by degrees I reach'd thy snowy breasts, then ra She won't answer me to the purpose, or is she vish kisses thus. [Einbruces her with ecstucy. afraid yon old cuff should understand her signs ?

Mir. (Struggles, and flings from him.] Oh, hea. -ay, it must be that. I perceive, madam, you vens! I shall not be able to contain myself. are too apprehensive of the promise you have

[Aside. made to follow my rules, therefore I'll suppose Sir Fran. [Running up with his watch in his your mind, and answer for you. First, for hand.) Sure she did not speak to him—There's myself, madam ; that I am in love with you is an five of the ten minutes gone, Sir George-Adad, intallible truth. Now for you. [Turns on her side.] I don't like those close conferences

Indeed, sir! and may I believe it?-As cerSir Geo. More interruptions-you will have it, tainly, madan, as that 'tis day-light, or that I die sir !

(Luys his hand to his sword. if you persist in silence. Bless me with the muSir Fran. (Going back.] No, no: you sha’n’t sic of your voice, and raise my spirits to their have her neither.

[Aside. proper heaven. Thus low let me entreat ere I'm Sir Geo. Dumb still-sure this old dog has en- oblig’d to quit this place; grant me some token join'd her silence. I'll try another way—I must

of a favourable reception, to keep my hopes alive. conclude, madam, that in compliance to your {Arises hustily, and turns on her side.] Rise, sir, guardian's humour you refuse to answer me. and since my guardian's presence will not allow Consider the injustice of his injunction.—Ma- ine privilege of tongrie, read that, and rest assured dam, these few minutes cost me a hundred you are not indifferent to me. (Offers her a letter, pounds—and would you answer me, I could pur- she strikes it down.] Ha, right woman! but no chase the whole day so. However, madam, you matter ; I'll go on. must give me leave to make the best interpreta Sir Fran. Ha! what's that? a letter ! -Ha, tion I can for my money, and take the indication ha, ha! thou art baulk’d. of your silence for the secret liking of my person;

Mir. The best assurance I ever sawtherefore, madam, I will instruct you how to keep

(Așide. your word inviolate to Sir Francis, and yet an Sir Geo. Ha! a letter ! oh ! let me kiss it with swer me to every question ; as, for example, when the same raptures that I would do the dear hand I ask

any thing to which you would reply in the that touch'd it. [Opens it.] Now, for a quick affirmative, gently nod your headthus, [Nods] fancy, and a long extempore-What's here? and when in the negative, thus, (Shakes his head (Reals.] Dear Sir George! this virgin muse I and in the doubtful, a tender sigh, thus. (Sighs.] consecrate to you, which, when it has receiv'd

Mir. How every action charms me--but I'll the addition of your voice, 'twill charm me into fit him for signs, I warrant him. [Aside. a desire of liberty to love, which you, and only

Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! poor Sir George! ha, you, can fix.-My angel ! oh, you transport me! ha, ha!

Kisses i he letter.] And see the power of your Sir Geo. Was it by his desire that you are dumb, command: the god of love has set the verse almadam, to all I can say ? [MIRANDA nods.] Very ready, the flowing nunbers dance into a tune, well! she’s tractable 1 find—And is it possible and I'm inspir’d with a voice to sing it. that you can love him ? (MIRANDA nods.] Mira Mir. I'm sure thou’rt inspired with impudence culous ! Pardon the bluntness of my questions, enough.

(Aside. for my time is short. May I not bope to sup Şir Geo. Great love inspire him; plant him in your esteem? [MIRANDA sighs.]

Say I admire him. Good ! she answers me as I could wish. You'll

Give me the lover not consent to marry him then? (MIRANDA

That can discover sighs.] How! Doubtful in that ?-Undone again

Secret devotion Humph! but that may proceed from his power

From silent motion; to keep her out of her estate 'till twenty-five :

Then don't betray me, I'll try that-Come, madam, I cannot think you

But hence convey me. hesitate in this affair out of any motive but your (Sir Geo. taking hold of Minan.] With all my fortune-let him keep it 'till those few years are heart; this moment let's retire. expired; make me happy with your person, let

[Sir FRANCIS coming up hastily. him enjoy your wealth. — [MIRANDA holds up her

Sir Frun. The time is expir’d, sir, and you hands.] Why, what sign is that now? Nay, nay, must take your leave. There, my girl, there's




of me,

I am

the hundred pounds which thou hast won.

Isab. That and a close room would certainly I'll be with you presently; ha, ha, ha, ha! make me die of the vapours.

[Exit MIRANDA. Sir Jeal. No, mistress,'tis your high-fed, lusty, Sir Geo. Adsheart, madlam, you won't leave rambling, rampant ladies—that are troubled with me just in the nick, will you?

the vapours : 'tis your ratafia, persico, cinnamon, Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! she has nick'd you, Sir citron, and spirit of clara, cause such swinning George, I think ; ha, ha, ha! Have you any more in the brain, that carries many a guinea full tide hundred pounds to throw away upon courtship? to the doctor : but you are not to be bred this ha, ha, ha!

way, no galloping abroad, no receiving visits at Sir Geo. He, he, he, he! A curse of your fleering home, for in our loose country the women are as jests !-Yet, however ill I succeed, I'll venture dangerous as the men. the same wager she does not value thee a spoon Putch. So I told her, sir, and that it was not ful of snuff-nay, more, though you enjoin'd her decent to be seen in a balcony—but she threatsilence to me, you'll never make her speak to the ened to slap my chops, and told me I was her purpose with yourself.

servant, not her governess. Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha ! Did I not tell thee thou Sir Jeal. Did she so? but I'll make her to wouldst repent thy money? Did I not say she know that you are her duenna. Oh, that incomhated young fellows? ha, ha, ha!

parable custom of Spain! Why, here's no deSir Geo. And I'm positive she's not in love with pending upon old women in my country—for they age.

are as wanton at eighty as a girl of eighteen, and Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! no matter for that; ha, ha! She's not taken with your youth, nor your

a man may as safely trust to Asgil's translation

as to his great grandmother's not marrying again. rhetoric to boot; ha, ha!

Isab. Or to the Spanish ladies' veils and duSir Geo. Whate'er her reasons are for disliking ennas for the safeguard of their honour.

certain she can be taken with nothing Sir Jeal. Dare to ridicule the cautious conduct about thee.

of that wise nation, and I'll have you lock'd up Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! how he swells with envy this fortnight without a peep-hole. -Poor man ! poor man-ha, ha, ha! I must beg Isab. If we had but the ghostly helps in Eng. your pardon, Sir George; Miranda will be impa- land which they have in Spain, I might deceive tient to have her share of mirth. Verily, we shall you if you did—Sir, 'tis not the restraint, but the laugh at thee most egregiously ; ha, ha, ha! innate principle, secures the reputation and ho

Sir Geo. With all my heart, faith -I shall nour of our sex. -Let me tell you, sir, confinelaugh in my turn too—for if you dare marry her, ment sharpens the invention, as want of sight old Belzebub, you will be cuckolded mosť egre- strengthens the other senses, and is often more giously : remember that, and tremble

pernicious than the recreation that innocent lie She that to age her beauteous self resigns,

berty allows. Shews witty management for close designs; Sir Jeal. Say you so, mistress! who the devil Then if thou’rt grac'd with fair Miranda's bed,

taught you the art of reasoning ? I assure you, Actæon's horns she means shall crown thy head. they must have a greater faith than I pretend to,

[Exit. that can think any woman innocent who requires Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! he is mad.

liberty; therefore, Patch, to your charge I give These fluttering fops imagine they can wind, her; lock her up till I come back from 'Chanye. Turn and decoy to love all woman-kind; I shall have some sauntering coxcomb, with ncBut here's a proof of wisdom in my charge, thing but a red coat and a feather, think by leap: Old men are constant, young men live at large. ing into her arms to leap into my estate—but I'll The frugal hand can bills at sight defray, When he that lavish is has naught to pay. (Erit. to's.

prevent them; she shall be only Signior Babinet

Putch. Really, sir, I wish you would employ SCENE II.—Changes to Sir Jealous TRAF- any body else in this affair ; í lead a life like a FICK'S House.

dog with obeying your commands. Come, maEnter Sir JEALOUS, ISABINDA, and Patch fol

dam, will you please to be locked up? lowing:

Isab. Ay, to enjoy more freedom than he is

aware of. ( Aside.) Sir Jeal. What, in the balcony again, notwith Sir Jeul. I believe this wench is very true to standing my positive commands to the contrary? my interest: I am happy I met with her, if I can

- Why don't you write a bill on your fore- but keep my daughter from being blown up till head to shew passengers there's something to Signior Babinetto arrives, who shall be let?

as soon as he comes, and carry her to Spain as Isab. What harm can there be in a little fresh soon as he has married her. She has a preg. air, sir?

nant wit, and I'd no more have her an Sir Jeal. Is your constitution so hot, mistress, wife than the grand signior's mistress. that it wants cooling, ha? Apply the virtuous Spanish rules; banish your taste and thoughts of

Enter WHISPER. flesh, feed upon roots, and quench your thirst Whisp. So, I saw Sir Jealous go out: where with water.

shall I find Mrs Patch now?

[Exit with Patch.


English [Exit.

Enter Patch.

Enter Sir GEORGE. Patch. Oh, Mr Whisper ! my lady saw you cursedly out of humour at his disappointment out of the window, and order'd me to bid you See how he looks! ha, ha, ha! Ay and let your master know she's now alone. Sir Geo. Ah, Charles! I am so humbled in my

Whisp. Hush! speak softly! I go, I go! But pretensions to plots upon women, that I believe I hark ye, Mrs Patch, shall not you and I have a shall never have courage enough to attempt a little confabulation, when my master and your chamber-maid again -I'll tell thee lady are engaged?

Cha. Ha, ha! I'll spare you the relation by Patch. Ay, ay; farewell.

telling you— Impatient to know your business (Goes in and shuts the door. with my father, when I saw you enter, I slipt Re-enter Sir JEALOUS TRAFFICK, meeting

back into the next room, where I overheard WHISPER.

every syllable.

Mar. Did you, Charles? I wish I had been Sir Jeal. Sure, whilst I was talking with Mr with you. Tradewell, I heard my door clap. (Seeing Wuis Sir Geo. That I said -but I'll be hang'd if PER.) Ha! a man lurking about my house! Who you heard her answer -But pr’ythee tell me, do you want there, sir?

Charles, is she a fool? Whisp. Want-want? a pox! Sir Jealous ! Chu. I never suspected her for one; but MarWhat must I say now?

plot can inform you better, if you allow him a Sir Jeal. Ay, want! Have you a letter or mes judge. sage for any body there :-0

my conscience this Mur. A fool! I'll justify she has more wit than is some he-bawd

all the rest of her sex put together. Why, she'll Whisp. Letter or message, sir?

rally me till I ha’n't a word to


for myself. Sir Jeal. Ay, letter or message, sir?

Chu. A mighty proof of her wit, truly Whisp. No, not I, sir.

Mar. There must be some trick in't, Sir Sir Jeal. Sirrah, sirrah! I'll have you set in George : 'egad, I'll find it out, if it cost me the the stocks if you don't tell your business imme sum you paid for't. diately.

Sir Geo. Do, and command me Whisp. Nay, sir, my business—is no great mat Mar. Enough: let me alone to trace a seter of business neither, and yet 'tis business of cretconsequence too. Sir Jeal. Sirrah, don't trifle with me.

Enter WHISPER, and speaks aside to his Master. Whisp. Trifle, sir! have you found him, sir? The devil ! he here again? damn that fellow, he Sir Jeal. Found what, you rascal?

never speaks out. Is this the same or a new seWhisp. Why, Trifle is the very lap-dog, my lady cret ?– You may speak out, here are none but lost, sir; I fancy'd I saw him run into this friends. house. I'm glad you have him-sir; my lady Chu. Pardon me, Marplot, 'tis a secret. will be overjoy'd that I have found him.

Mur. A secret! ay, or, ecod, I would not give Sir Jeal. Who is your lady, friend?

a farthing for it. Sir George, won't you ask Whisp. My lady Lovepuppy, sir.

Charles what news Whisper brings? Sir Jeal. My lady Lovepuppy, sir ! then pr'y Sir Geo. Not I, sir; I suppose it does not rethee carry thyself to her, for I know of no other late to me. whelp that belongs to her; and let me catch you Mar. Lord, Lord ! how little curiosity some no more puppy-hunting about my doors, lest I people have! Now my chief pleasure is in knowhave you press’d into the service, sirrah.

ing every body's business. Whisp. By no means, sir, Your humble ser Sir Geo. I fancy, Charles, thou hast some envant. Í must watch whether he goes or no be- gagement upon thy hands ? fore I can tell my master.

(Exit. Mur. Have you, Charles? Sir Jeal. This fellow has the officious leer of a Sir Geo. I have a little business too. pimp, and I half suspect a design; but I'll be Mar. Have you, Sir George? upon them before they think on me; I warrant Sir Geo. Marplot, if it falls in your way to bring

[Exit. me any intelligence from Miranda, you'll find me

at the Thatch'd House at sixSCENE III.-CHARLES's Lodgings. Mar. You do me much honour.

Cha. You guess right, Sir George; wish me Enter CHARLES and MARPLOT, Cha. Honest Marplot ! I thank thee for this Sir Geo. Better than attended me. Adieu. supply. I expect my lawyer with a thousand

(Exit. pounds I have ordered him to take up, and then Cha. Marplot, you must excuse meyou shall be repaid.

Mar. Nay, nay; what need of any excuse Mar. Pho, pho! no more of that. Here amongst friends ? I'll go with you. comes Sir George Airy,

Cha. Indeed you must not.



Mar. No? then I suppose’tis a duel, and I will go to secure you.

Chu. Well, but ’tis no duel, consequently no danger ; therefore, pr’ythee be answer d.

Mar. What, is't a mistress then?-Mumyou know I can be silent upon occasion.

Cha. I wish you could be civil too: I tell you, you neither must nor shall go with me. Farewell.

(Exit. Mar. Why then-I must and will follow you:




more savage

would make the frolic pleasing for a little time, SCENE I.

by saying and doing a world of tender things;

but when our small substance is exhausted, and a Enter CHARLES.

thousand requisites for life are wanting, Love, Cha. Well, here's the house which holds the who rarely dwells with Poverty, would also fail lovely prize, quiet and serene: here no noisy footmen throng to tell the world that beauty Cha. Faith, I fancy not; methinks my heart dwells within ; no ceremonious visit makes the has laid up a stock will last for life, to back lover wait, no rival to give my heart a pang. Who which, I have taken a thousand pounds upon my would not scale the window at midnight, without uncle's estate: that, surely, will support us till fear of the jealous father's pistol, rather than fill one of our fathers relent. up the train of a coquette, where every minute he Isub. There's no trusting to that, my friend; I is jostled out of place! (Knocks sofily.) Mrs doubt your father will carry his humour to the Patch, Mrs Patch!

grave, and mine till he sees me settled in Spain.

Cha. And can you then cruelly resolve to stay Enter PATCH.

till that cursed Don arrives, and suffer that youth, Patch. Oh, are you comc, sir? All's safe. beauty, fire, and wit, to be sacrificed to the arms Cha. So in, in then.

[Exeunt. of a dull Spaniard, to be immured, and forbid the

sight of any thing that's human? Enter MARPLOT.

Isab. No; when it comes to that extremity, Alar. There he goes! Who the devil lives and no stratagem can relieve us, thou shalt list here? except I can find out that, I am as far from for a soldier, and I'll carry thy knapsack after knowing his business as ever. Gad, I'll watch ; it thee. may be a bawdy-house, and he may have his Cha. Bravely resolved! the world cannot be throat cut. If there should be any mischief, I

than our parents, and fortune gecan make oath be went in. Well, Charles, in nerally assists the bold, therefore consent now: spite of your endeavours to keep me out of the why should she put it to a future hazard? Who secret, I may save your life, for aught I know. At knows when we shall have another opportunity? that corner I'll plant myself; there I shall see Isub. Oh, you have your ladder of ropes, I supwhoever goes in or comes out. Gad, 1 love dis- pose, and the closet window stands just where it coveries.

(Exit. did; and, if you ha'n't forgot to write in charac

ters, Patch will find a way for our assignations.

Thus much of the Spanish contrivance my faSCENE II-Draws, and discovers CHARLES,

ther's severity has taught me, I thank him : though ISABINDA, and Patch.

I hate the nation, I admire their management in Isab. Patch, look out sharp: have a care of these affairs. dad.

Enter PATCH. Patch. I warrant you.

Isub. Well, sir, if I may judge your love by Patch. Oh, madam! I see my master coming your courage, I ought to believe you sincere, for up the street. you venture into the lion's den when you come Cha. Oh, the devil! would I had my ladder

now! I thought you had not expected him till Cha. If you'd consent whilst the furious beast night. Why, why, why, why, what shall I do, is abroad, I'd free you from the reach of his madam? paws.

Isab. Oh! for Heaven's sake don't go that Isab. That would be but to avoid one dan way; you'll meet him full in the teeth. Oh, ger by running into another, like poor wretches unlucky moment ! who Ay the burning ship, and meet their fate in Cha. Adsheart ! can you shut me into no cupthe water. Come, come, Charles, I fear if I board, nor ram me into a chest, ba ? consult my reason, confinement and plenty is Patch. Impossible, sir, he searches every hole better than liberty and starving. I know you in the house.

to see me.

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