Page images
PDF
EPUB

out.

Isab. Undone for ever! if he sees you, I shall hold of him.] 'Sdeath! I could crush thee into never see you more.

atoms.

[Exit CHARLES. Patch. I have thought on it: run you to your Mur. What! will

you choke me for my kindchamber, madam; and, sir, come you along with ness ?-Will my inquiring soul never leave me; I'm certain you may easily get down from searching into other people's affairs till it gets the balcony.

squeezed out of my body! I dare not follow him Cha. My life! adieu-Lead on, guide. now for my blood, he's in such a passion. I'll

(Exeunt Patch and CHARLES. to Miranda ; if I can discover aught that may Isab. Heav'n preserve him !

[Exit. / oblige Sir George, it may be a means to recon

cile me again to Charles. SCENE III.- Changes to the Street.

Sir Jcal. (Within.) Look about ! search! find

him out! Inter Sir JEALOUS, with MARPLOT behind him.

Mar. Oh, the devil! there's old Crabstick Sir Jeal. I don't know what's the matter, but again.

{Exit. I have a strong suspicion all is not right within; that fellow's sauntering about my door, and his

Enter Sir JEALOUS and his Servants. tale of a puppy, had the face of a lie, methought. Sir Jeal. Are you sure you have searched every By St Iago, if I should find a man in the house, where? I'd make mince meat of him

Serv. Yes, from the top of the house to the Mur. Mince meat! Ah, poor Charles, how I bottom. sweat for thee! 'Egad, he's old—I fancy I might Sir Jeal. Under the beds and over the beds ? bully him, and make Charles have an opinion of Scro. Yes, and in them too, but found nobody, my courage. 'Egad, I'll pluck up, and have a touch sir. with him.

Sir Jeal. Why, what could this rogue mean? Sir Jeal. My own key shall let me in; I'll give them no warning: [Feeling for his key.

Enter ISABINDA and PATCH. Mar. What's that you say, sir?

Patch. Take courage, madam, I saw him safe (Going up to Sir JEAL.

[ Aside to ISAB Sir Jeal. What's that to you, sir?

Isub. Bless me! what's the matter, sir? [Turns quick upon him. Sir Jeul. You know best-Pray where's the Mar. Yes, 'tis to me, sir, for the gentleman man that was here just now? you threaten is a very honest gentleman. Look Isab. What man, sir? I saw none. to't, for if he comes not as safe out of your house Patch. Nor I, by the trust you repose in me. as he went in

Do you think I would let a man come within Sir Jeal. What, is he in then ?

these doors when you are absent? Mar. Yes, sir, he is in then; and I say if he Sir Jeul. Ah, Patch ! she may be too cunning does not come out, I have half-a-dozen myrmidons for thy honesty: the very scout that he had set hard by sball beat your house about your ears. to give warning discovered it to me-and threat

Sir Jeal. Ah! a combination to undo me ened me with half-a-dozen myrmidons- but I I'll myrmidon you, ye dog you-Thieves ! think I mauled the villain. These aflictions you thieves !

draw upon me, mistress ! [Beats MARPLOT all the while he cries thieves. Isab. Pardon me, sir, 'tis your own ridiculous

Mar. Murder, murder ! I was not in your humour draws you into these vexations, and gives house, sir.

every fool pretence to banter you,

sir Jeal. No, 'tis your idle conduct, your coEnter Servant.

quettish flirting in the balcony-Oh ! with what Serv. What's the matter, sir?

joy shall I resign thee into the arms of Don Diego Sir Jeal. The matter, rascal ! you have let a Babinetto! man into my house, but I'll fay him alive. Fol Isab. And with what industry shall I avoid him ! low me; I'll not leave a mouse-hole unsearched.

[Aside. If I find him, by St lago, I'll equip him for the Sir Jeal. Certainly that rogue had a message opera,

(Exeunt Sir JEAL. and Sero. from someboily or other, but, being baulked by Mar. A deuce of his cane! there's no trust my coming, popped that sham upon me. Come įng to age !-What shall I do to relieve Charles ? along, ye sots, let's see if we can find the dog ’egad, I'll raise the neighbourhood.-Murder! again. ́Patch, lock her up, d’ye hear? [Exit. murder !-(CHARLES drops down upon him from Patch. Yes, sir-Ay, walk till your heels ache, the balcony.) Charles, faith, I'm glad to see thee you'll find nobody, I promise you. safe out with all

my
heart!

Isab. Who could that scout be which he talks Cha. A pox of your bawling! how the devil of? came you here?

Patch. Nay, I cann't imagine, without it was Mar. 'Egad, it's very well for you that I was Whisper, here; I have done you a piece of service: I told Isub. Well, dear Patch ! let's employ all our the old thunderbolt that the gentleman that was thoughts how to escape this horrid Don Diego; gone in was

my very heart sinks at his terrible name. Cha. Was it you that told him, sir ? (Laying Patch. Fear not, madam; Don Carlo shall be

the man, or I'll lose the reputation of contriving, Sir Fran. If wearing pearls and jewels, or eatand then what's a chamber maid good for? ing gold, as the old saying is, can make thee hapIsab. Say'st thou so, my girl? then

py,

ihou shalt be so, my sweetest, my lovely, my Let dad be jealous, multiply his cares ;

charming, my-verily I know not what to call Whilst love instructs me to avoid the snares, thee. I'll, spite of all his Spanish caution, show

Mir. You must know, Gardy, that I am so How much for love a British maid can do. cager to have this business concluded, that I

[Exeunt. have employed my woman's brother, who is a

lawyer in the Temple, to settle matters just to SCENE IV.-Sir FRANCIS GRIPE's House. your liking; you are to give your consent to my Enter Sir FRANCIS und MIRANDA meeting.

marriage, which is to yourself you know: but,

mum, you must take no notice of that. So then Mır. Well, Gardy, how did I perform the dumb I will, that is, with your leave, put my writings scene?

into his hands; then to-morrow we come slap Sir Fran. To admiration—Thou dear little upon them with a wedding that nobody thought rogue ! let me buss thee for it: nay, adad, I will, on, by which you seize me and my estate, and Chargy, so muzzle, and tuzzle, and hug thee; 1 I suppose make a bonfire of your own act and will, i' faith, I will. [ Hugging and kissing her. deed.

Mir. Nay, Gardy, don't be so lavish. Who Sir Fran. Nay, but, Chargy, ifwould ride post when the journey lasts for life? Mir. Nay, Gardy, no ifs. - Have I refused

Sir Fran. Ah wag, ah wag! I'll buss thee again three northern lords, two British peers, and half for that. Oh, I'm transported ! When, when, my a score knights, to have you put in your ifs ? dear! wilt thou convince the world of the happy

Sir Fran. So thou hast indeed, and I will trust day? when shall we marry, ha?

to thy management. 'Od, I'm all of a fire. Mir. There's nothing wanting but your con

Mir. 'Tis a wonder the dry stubble does not sent, Sir Francis.

blaze. Sir Frun. My consent! what does my charmer mean?

Enter MARPLOT. Mir. Nay, 'tis only a whim ; but I'll have Sir Fran. How now, who sent for you, sir? every thing according to form--therefore when What, is the hundred pound gone already? you sign an authentic paper, drawn up by an able Mür. No, sir; I don't want money now, Gardy. lawyer, that I have your leave to marry, the next

Sir Fran. No; that's a miracle! but there's one day makes me yours, Gardy.

thing you want I'm sure. Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! a wbim indeed! why Mar. Ay, what's that? is it not demonstration I give my leave when I Sir Fran. Manners! What, bad I no servants marry thee?

without ? Mir. Not for your reputation, Gardy; the ma Mar. None that could do my business, guarlicious world will be apt to say you trick me dian, which is at present with this lady. into marriage, and so take the merit from my Mir. With me, Mr Marplot! what is it, I bechoice: now I will have the act my own, to let seech you ? the idle fops see how much I prefer a man load Sir Fran. Ay, sir, what is it? any thing that. ed with years and wisdom.

relates to her may be delivered to me. Sir Frun. Humph ! Pr’ythee leave out years, Mur. I deny that. Chargy ; I'm not so old, as thou shalt sind. Adad, Mir. That's more than I do, sir. I'm young: there's a caper for ye! [Jumps. Mar. Indeed, madam! Why then to proceed:

Mir. Oh, never excuse it ; why, I like you Fame says, you know best whether she lies or the better for being old--but I shall suspect you not, that you and my most conscionable guardidon't love me if you refuse me this formality. an here, designed, contrived, plotted, and agreed,

Sir Fran. Not love thee, Chargy! Adad, I do to chouse a very civil, honest, honourable gentlelove thee better than, than, than, better than man out of a hundred pounds: Guilty or not? what shall I say? 'egad, better than money; i' faith, Mir. That I contrived it! I do,

Mur. Ay, you-you said never a word against Mir. That's false I'm sure. (Aside.] To prove it, so far you are guilty. it, do this then.

Sir Fran. Pray, tell that civil, honest, honourSir Fran. Well, I will do it, Chargy, provi- able gentleman, that if he has any more such ded I bring a licence at the same time.

sums to fool away, they shall be received like the Mir. Av, and a parson too if you please.- last; ha, ha, ha! Choused, quoth-a! But hark ye, Ha, ha, ha! I cann'i help laughing to think how let him know at the same time, that if he dare to all the young coxcombs about town will be mor report I tricked him of it, I shall recommend a tified when they hear of our marriage.

lawyer to him shall shew him a trick for twice as Șir Frun. So they will, so they will; ha, ha, much. D’ye hear? tell him that. ha!

Mar. So, and this is the way you use a gentleMir. Well, I fancy I shall be so happy with man, and my friend ! my Gardy

Mir. Is the wretch thy friend?

Mar. The wretch ! look ye, madam, don't dare to saunter there, about the hour of cight, as call names, 'egad, I won't take it.

he us’d to do, be shall be saluted with a pistol, or Mir. Why, you won't beat me, will you? Ha, a blunderbuss. ha, ha!

Sir Fran. Oh, monstrous! Why, Chargy, did Mar. I don't know whether I will or no. he use to come to the garden-gate?

Sir Fran. Sir, I shall make a servant shew you Mir. The gard'ner described just such anoout at the window if you are saucy.

ther man that always watch'd his coming out, and Mar. I am your most humble servant, guar

fain would have bribed him for his entrancedian; I design to go out the same way

I came

Tell him he shall find a warm reception if he in. I would only ask this lady one question : comes this night. Don't you think he's a fine gentleman ?

Mur. Pistols and blunderbusses! 'Egad, a warm Sir Fran. Who's a fine gentleman?

reception indeed! I shall take care to inform Mar. Not you, Gardy, not you !—Don't you him of your kindness, and advise him to keep think in your soul that Sir George Airy is a very farther off. fine gentleman?

Mir. I hope he will understand my meaning Mir. He dresses well.

better than to follow your advice. (Aside. Sir Fran. Which is chiefly owing to his tailor Sir Fran. Thou hast signed, seald, and ta'en and valet-de-chambre.

possession of my heart for ever, Chargy, ha, ha, Mar. Well, and who is your dress owing to, ha! and for you, Mr Saucebox, let me have no ha ? There's a beau, ma'am-do but look at him! more of your messages, if ever you design to inSir Fran. Sirrah!

herit your estate, gentleman. Mir. And if being a beau be a proof of his Mar. Why, there 'tis now. Sure I shall be being a fine gentleman, he may be so.

out of your clutches one day-Well, guardian, Mar. He may be so ! Why, ma'am, the judi- I say no more: but if you be not as arrant a cious part of the world allow him wit, courage, cuckold as e'er drove bargain upon the Exchange, gallantry, ay, and economy too, though I think or paid attendance to a court, I am the son of a he forfeited' that character when he flung away a whetstone; and so your humble servant. hundred pounds upon your dumb ladyship: Mir. Mr Marplot, don't forget the message !

Sir Fran. Does that gall him ? Ha, ha, ha! ha, ha, ha, ha!
Mir. So Sir George, remaining in deep dis-

Mar. Nang, nang, nang!

(Exit. content, has sent you, his trusty squire, to utter Sir Fran. I am so provok'd—'tis well he's his complaint. Ha, ha, ha!

gone. Mar. Yes, madam; and you, like a cruel hard Mir. Oh, mind him not, Gardy, but let's sign hearted Jew, value it no more-than I would articles, and thenyour ladyship, were I Sir George ; you, you,

Sir Fran. And then-Adad, I believe I am you

metamorphos’d, my pulse beats high, and my Mir. Oh, don't call names: I know you love blood boils, methinksto be employed, and I'll oblige you, and you shall

[Kissing and hugging her. carry him a message from me.

Mir. O fie, Gardy! be not so violent: conMar. According as I like it. What is it? sider the market lasts all the year.-Well; I'll Mir. Nay, a kind one you may be sure—First, in, and see if the lawyer be come: you'll follow? tell him I have chose this gentleman to have and

[Exit. to hold, and so forth.

Sir Fran. Ay, to the world's end, my dear! (Clapping her hand into Sir Francis's. Well, Frank, thou art a lucky fellow in thy old Mar. Much good may do you !

age to have such a delicate morsel, and thirty Sir Fran. Oh, the dear rogue ! how I dote on thousand pounds in love with thee. I shall be her!

[ Aside. the envy of bachelors, the glory of married men, Mir. And advise his impertinence to trouble and the wonder of the town. Some guardians me no more, for I prefer Sir Francis for a hus. would be glad to compound for part of the estate band before all the fops in the universe. at dispatching an heiress, but I engross the whole.

Mar. Oh Lord, oh Lord! she's bewitch’d, 0! mihi præteritos referet si Jupiter annos ! that's certain. Here's a husband for eighteen

[Exit. here's a tit bit for a young lady—here's

a shape, an air, and a grace-here's bones rattling in a SCENE V.-Changes to a Tavern, discovers Sir leathern bag—[Turning Sir FRANCIS about] here's GEORGE und CHARLES with wine before them, buckram and canvas to scrub you to repentance. and WHISPER waiting.

Sir Fran. Sirrah, my cane shall teach you repentance presently.

Sir Geo. Nay, pr’ythee, don't be grave, Charles: Mur. No, faith, I have felt its twin brother misfortunes will happen. Ha, ha, ha! 'tis some from just such a wither'd hand too lately. comfort to have a companion in our sufferings.

Mir. One thing more:-advise him to keep Cha. I am only apprehensive for Isabinda; from the garden-gate on the left hand, for if he her father's humour is implacable ; and how far

on ye.

his jealousy may transport him to her undoing, shocks my soul to think.

Enter WHISPER with pen, ink, and paper. Sir Geo. But since you escap'd undiscover'd Mar. You'd say it was no good sign, if you by him, his rage will quickly lash into a calm, knew all. never fear it.

Sir Geo. Why, pr’ythee? Cha. But who knows what that unlucky dog, Mar. Hark’e, Sir George, let me warn you ; Marplot, told him, nor can I imagine what pursue your old haunt no more; it may be danbrought him hither : that fellow is ever doing gerous.

(CHARLES sils down to write. mischief; and yet, to give him his due, he never Sir Geo. My old haunt! what do you mean? designs it. This is some blundering adventure Mar. Why in short then, since you will have wherein he thought to shew his friendship, as he it, Miranda vows if you dare approach the gardencalls it! a curse on him !

gate at eight o'clock, as you us’d, you shall meet Sir Geo. Then you must forgive him. What with a warm reception. said he?

Sir Geo. A warm reception ! Cha. Said ! nay, I had more mind to cut his Mar. Ay, a very warm reception—you shall throat, than to hear his excuses.

be saluted with a blunderbuss, sir. These were Sir Geo. Where is he?

her
very
words :

: nay, she bid me tell you so too. W'hisp. Sir, I saw him go into Sir Francis Sir Ġeo. Ha! the garden-gate at eight, as I Gripe's just now.

us’d to do! There must be meaning in this. Is Cha. Oh! then he's upon your business, Sir there such a gate, Charles ? George: a thousand to one but he makes some Mar. Is there such a gate, Charles ? mistake there too.

Cha. Yes, yes, it opens into the Park: I supSir Geo. Impossible, without he huffs the lady, pose her ladyship has made many a scamper and makes love to Sir Francis.

through it.

Sir Geo. It must be an assignation then. Ha! Enter Drawer.

my heart springs for joy ; 'tis a propitious omen. Draw. Mr Marplot is below, gentlemen, and My dear Marplot ! let me embrace thee; thou desires to know if he may have leave to wait up art' my friend, my better angel.

Mür. What do you mean, Sir George? Cha. How civil the rogue is when he has done Sir Geo. No matter what I mean. Here, a fault !

take a bumper to the garden-gate, you dear Sir Geo. Ho! desire him to walk up. Pr’ythee,

rogue yon ! Charles, throw off this chagrin, and be good com Mur. You have reason to be transported, Sir pany.

George; I have sav'd

your

life. Cha. Nay, hang hin, I'm not angry with him. Sir Geo. My life! thou hast sav'd my soul, Whisper, fetch me pen, ink, and paper.

Charles, if thou dost not pledge this Il'hisp. Yes, sir.

(Exit WHISPER. health, may'st thou never taste the joys of love.

Cha. Whisper, be sure you take care how you Enter MARPLOT.

deliver this. (Gives him the letter.j Bring me the Cha. Do but mark his sheepish look, Sir answer to my lodgings. George.

Ilhisp. I warrant you, sir. Mar. Dear Charles ! don't overwhelm a man Mar. Whither does that letter go? Now dare already under insupportable affliction. I'm sure I not ask for my blood— That fellow knows more I always intend to serve my friends, but if my secrets than I do.

[Exit WHISPER. malicious stars deny the happiness, is the fault Cha. Now I'm for you. mine?

Sir Geo. To the garden-gate at the hour of Sir Geo. Never mind him, Mr Marplot; he's eight, Charles : along; huzza ! eat up with spleen. But tell me what says Mi Chu. I begin to conceive you. randa?

Mar. That's more than I do, egad— To the Mar. Says !—nay, we are all undone there too. garden.gate, huzza! [Drinks.) But I hope you

Cha. I told you so: nothing prospers that he design to keep far enough off on't, Sir George. undertakes.

Sir Geo. Ay, ay, never fear that; she shall see Mar. Why, can I help her having chose your I despise her frowns; let her use the blunderfather for better for worse ?

buss against the next fool; she sha'n't reach me. Cha. Soʻ; there's another of Fortune's strokes. with the smoke I warrant her; ha, ha, ha! I suppose

I shall be edged out of my estate with Mar. Ah, Charles! if you could receive a distwins every year, let who will get 'em.

appointment thus en cavalier, one should have Sir Geo. "What! is the woman really pos some comfort in being beat for you. sess'd?

Cha. The fool comprehends nothing. Mar. Yes, with the spirit of contradiction : she Sir Geo. Nor would I have him. Pr’ythee, rail'd at you most prodigiously,

take him along with thee. Sir Geo. That's no ill sign.

Cha. Enough.

man.

Sir Geo. I kiss both your hands-And now for the garden-gate.

It's beauty gives the assignation there,
And love too powerful grows t'admit of fear.

(Exit. Cha. Come, you shall go home with me.

Mar. Shall I! and are we friends, Charles ?I am glad of it.

Cha. Come along.

(Exit CHARLES. Mur. 'Egad, Charles' asking me to go home with him gives me a shrewd suspicion there's more in the garden-gate than I comprehend. Faith, I'll give him the drop, and away to Gardy's, and find it out.

(Exit,

ACT IV.

SCENE I.—The outside of Sir JEALOUS TRAF Sero. That they'd all wait on you, sir, as I FICK's House ; Patch peeping out of the door. told you before ; but I suppose you forgot it, sir.

Sir Jeal. Did I so, sir? but I sha'n't forget to
Enter WHISPER.

break
your

head if any of them come, sir. Whisp. Ha ! Mrs Patch, this is a lucky minute, Serv. Come, sir! why, did not you send me to to find you so readily; my master dies with im desire their company, sir? patience.

Sir Jeal. But I send you now to desire their Patch. My lady imagined so, and by her orders absence. Say I have something extraordinary I have been scouting this hour in search of you,

fallen out, which calls me abroad contrary to exto inform you that Sir Jealous has invited some pectation, and ask their pardon; and, d’ye hear, friends to supper with him to-night, which gives

send the butler to me. an opportunity to your master to make use of Sero. Yes, sir.

[Exit. his ladder of ropes. The closet window shall

Enter Butler. be open, and Isabinda be ready to receive him. Bid him come immediately.

Sir Jeal. If this paper has a meaning I'll find Whisp. Excellent! he'll not disappoint, I war it-Lay the cloth in my daughter's chamber, and rant him.-But hold, I have a letter here which bid the cook send supper thither presently. I'm to carry an answer to. I cann't think what But. Yes, sir.--Hey-day! what's the matter language the direction is.

now?

[Erit. Patch. Pho! 'tis no language, but a character Sir Jeal. He wants the eyes of Argus that has which the lovers invented to avert discovery, a young handsome daughter in this town; but Ha! I hear my old master coming down stairs : my comfort is I shall not be troubled long with it is impossible you should have an answer : her. He that pretends to rule a girl once in her away, and bid him come himself for that. Be gone; teens, had better be at sea in a storm, and would we're ruin'd if you're seen, for he has doubled be in less danger; his care since the last accident.

For let him do or counsel all he can, Whisp. I go, I go.

[Exit. She thinks and dreams of nothing else but man. Patch. There, go you into my pocket. (Puts

(Exit. it beside, and it falis down.) Now I'll up the back stairs, lest I meet him—Well, a dexterous cham

SCENE II.-ISABINDA's Chamber. ISABINDA ber-maid is the ladies' best utensil, I say. (Exit.

and PATCH.

Isab. Are you sure nobody saw you speak to Enter Sir JEALOUS, with a letter in his hand.

Whisper? Sir Jeal. So, this is some comfort: this tells Patch. Yes, very sure, madam ; but I heard me that Signior Don Diego Babinetto is safely Sir Jealous coming down stairs, so clapt his letarrived. He shall marry my daughter the minute ter into my pocket. [Feels for the letter. he comes~Ha, ha! what's here? (Takcs up the Isub. A letter ! give it me quickly. letter Patch dropped.] A letter! I don't know Patch. Bless me! what's become on't-I'm what to make of the superscription. I'll see sure I put it

(Searching still. what's within-side. (Opens il.}-Humph—'tis He Isab. Is it possible thou couldst be so careless ? brew I think. What can this mean?-There-Oh, I'm undone for ever if it be lost. must be some trick in it. This was certainly de Patch. I must have dropt it upon the stairs.sign’d for my daughter; but I don't know that But why are you so much alarm’d? if the worst she can speak any language but her mother happens, nobody can read it, madam, nor find out tongue-No matter for that; this may be one of whom it was design’d for. Love's hieroglyphics; and I fancy I saw Patch's Isab. If it falls into my father's hands, the very tail sweep by : that wench may be a slut, and in figure of a letter will produce ill consequences. stead of guarding my honour, betray it. 'l'll find Run and look for it upon the stairs this moment. it out, I'm resolved—who's there?

Patch. Nay, I'm sure it can be no where else

-{As she is going out of the door meets the ButEnter Sercant.

ler.] How now, what do you want? What answer did you bring from the gentlemen But. My master ordered me to lay the cloth I sent you to invite?

here for supper.

« PreviousContinue »