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Mir. I am so surpris'd with joy to see you, Mir. Come, then, Gardy, give me thy hand; I know not what to say.
let's to this house of Hymen. Sir Fran. Poor dear girl! But do you know My choice is fix'd, let good or ill betide. that my son, or some such rogue, to rob or mur Sir Fran. The joyful bridegroom I. der me, or both, contrived this journey ? for, upon Mir. And I the happy bride. (Exeunt. the road, I met my neighbour Squeezum well, and coming to town.
SCENE II. Mir. Good lack! good lack! what tricks are there in this world?
Enter Sir JEALOUS, meeting a Serdant.
Serv. Sir, here's a couple of gentlemen inquire Enter SCENTWELL, with a diamond necklace in for you ; one of them calls himself Signior Diego her hand, not seeing Sir FRANCIS.
Babinetto. Scent. Madam, bs pleas’d to tie this necklace Sir Jenl. Ha! Signior Babinetto! admit 'em on, for I cann't get it into the
instantly-joyful minute ; I'll have my daughter
[Seeing Sir Francis. married to-night. Mir. The wench is a fool I think ! Could you
Enter CHARLES in a Spanish habit, with Sir not have carried it to be mended without put
GEORGE dressed like a merchant. ting it in the box? Sir Fran. What's the matter?
Sir Jeal. Senhor, beso las manos: vuestra Mir. Only, dearee! I bid her, I bid her- merced es muy bien venido en esta tierra. Your ill usage has put every thing out of my head. Cha. Senhor, soy muy humilde, y muy obligado But won't you go, Gardy, and find out these fel-cryado de vuestra merced : mi padre embia a lows, and have them punished ? and, and vuestra merced, los mas profondos de sus respe
Sir Fran. Where should I look for them, child ? | tos; y a commissionado este mercadel Ingles, de No, I'll sit me down contented with my safety, concluyr un negocio, que me haze el mas dichoss nor stir out of my own doors till I go with thee hombre del mundo, haziendo me su yerno. to a parson.
Sir Jeal. I am glad on't, for I find I have lost Vir. ( Aside.j If he goes into his closet I am much of my Spanish. Sir, I am your most humble ruin’d. Oh! bless me! in this fright I had forgot servant. Signior Don Diego Babinetto has inMrs Patch.
formed me, that you are commissioned by Signior Patch. Ay, madam, and I stay for your speedy Don Pedro, &c. his wortlıy father
Sir Geo. To see an affair of marriage consumMir. (Aside.] I must get him out of the house. mated between a daughter of yours and Signior Now assist me, Fortune!
Diego Babinetto, his son, here. True, sir, such Sir Frun. Mrs Patch! I profess I did not see a trust is repos’d in me, as that letter will inform you : How dost thou do, Mrs Patch? Well, don't you. I hope 'twill pass upon him. (Aside. you repent leaving my Chargy?
[Gives him a letter. Patch. Yes, every body must love her-but I Sir Jeal. Ay, 'tis his hand. (Seems to read.
-Madam, what did I come for ? my Sir Geo. Good, you have counterfeited to a invention is at the last ebb. [Aside to MIRANDA. nicety, Charles.
(Aside to CHARLES. Sir Fran. Nay, never whisper, tell me.
Cha. If the whole plot succeeds as well, I'm Mir. She came, dear Gardy! to invite me to happy. her lady's wedding, and
Sir Jeal. Sir, I find by this that you are a man Gardy; 'tis to be done this moment, to a Spanish of honour and probity; I think, sir, he calls you merchant Old Sir Jealous keeps on his hu- Meanwell. Inour; the first minute he sees her, the next he Sir Geo. Meanwell is my name, sir. marries her.
Sir Jeal. A very good name, and very signifiSir Fran. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I'd go if I thought cant. the sight of matrimony would tempt Chargy to Cha. Yes, faith, if he knew all.
(Aside. perform her promise. There was a smile, there Sir Jeal. For to mean well is to be honest, and was a consenting look, with those pretty twinklers, to be honest is the virtue of a friend, and a friend worth a million ! 'Ods-precious! I am happier is the delight and support of human society. than the Great Mogul, the Emperor of China, or Sir Geo. You shall find that I'll discharge the all the potentates that are not in wars. Speak, part of a friend in what I have undertaken, Sir confirm it, make me leap out of my skin.
Jealous. Mir. When one has resolved, 'tis in vain to Cha. But little does he think to whom. (Aside. stand shilly-shally. If ever I marry, positively this Sir Geo. Therefore, sir, I must entreat the preis my wedding-day.
sence of your fair daughter, and the assistance of Sir Fran. Oh! happy, happy man-Verily, I your chaplain; for Signior Don Pedro strictly enwill beget a son the first night shall disinherit that joined ene to see the marriage rites performed as dog Charles. I have estate enough to purchase soon as we should arrive, to avoid the accidental a barony, and be the immortalizing the whole fa- overtures of Venus. mily of the Gripes.
Sir Jeal, Overtures of Venus !
Sir Geo. Ay, sir; that is, those little hawking Isab. Oh! hear me, sir, hear me but speak one females that traverse the Park and the play-house, word. to put off their damag'd ware—they fasten upon Do not destroy my everlasting peace; foreigners like leeches, and watch their arrival as My soul abhors this Spaniard you have chose, carefully as the Kentish men do a shipwreck: I Nor can I wed him without being curst. warrant you, they have heard of him already. Sir Jeal. How's that ?
Sir Jeal. Nay, I know this town swarms with Isab. Let this posture move your tender nature. them.
(Kneels. Sir Geo. Ay, and then you know the Spaniards for ever will I hang upon these knees, are naturally amorous, but very constant; the Nor loose my hands till you cut off my hold, first face fixes 'em; and it may be very dangerous If you refuse to hear me, sir. to let him ramble ere he is tied.
Cha. Oh! that I could discover myself to her! Chu. Well hinted.
(Aside. Sir Jeal. Pat to my purpose-Well, sir, there Sir Geo. Have a care what you do: you had is but one thing more, and they shall be married better trust to his obstinacy.
Sir Jeal. Did you ever see such a perverse Cha. Pray Heaven that one thing more don't slut? Off, I say. Mr Meanwell, pray help me a spoil all.
[Aside, little. Sir Jeal. Don Pedro writ me word, in his last Sir Geo. Rise, madam, and do not disoblige but one, that he designed the sum of five thou- your father, who has provided a husband worthy sand crowns by way of jointure for my daughter, of you, one that will love you equal with his soul, and that it should be paid into my hands upon and one that you will love, when once you know the day of marriage
hin. Cha. Oh, the devil !
[Aside. Isab. Oh! never, never ! Sir Jeal. In order to lodge it in some of our Could I suspect that falsehood in my heart, funds, in case she should become a widow, and I would this moment tear it from my breast, return for England
And straight present him with the treach'rous Sir Geo. Pos on't! this is an unlucky turn.
part. What shall I say?
(Aside. Cha. Oh! my charming, faithful dear! [ Aside. Sir Jeul. And he does not mention one word Sir Jeal. Falsehood! why, who the devil are of it in this letter.
you in love with? Don't provoke me, for, by St Cha. I don't know how he should. [dside. Iago, I shall beat you, housewife.
Sir Geo. Humph! True, Sir Jealous, he told Cha, Heaven forbid ! for I shall infallibly disa me such a thing, but, but, but, but-he, he, he, cover myself if he should. he-he did not imagine that you would insist Sir Geo. Have patience, madam, and look at upon the very day; for, for, for, for money, you him: why will ye prepossess yourself against a know, is dangerous returning by sca; an, an, an, man that is master of all the charms you would
desire in a husband ? Cha. Zounds ! say we have brought it in com Sir Jeal. Ay, look at him, Isabinda. Senhor, modities.
[Aside to Sir GEORGE. pase vind adelante. Sir Geo. And so, sir, he has sent it in merchan Cha. My heart bleeds to see her grieve, who dise, tobacco, sugars, spices, lemons, and so forth, I imagined would with joy receive me. Senhora which shall be turned into money with all expe- obligue me veustra merced de sa mano. dition : in the mean time, sir, if you please to Sir Jenl. [Pulling up her heud.) Hold up your accept of my bond for performance
head, hold up your head, hussy, and look at him. Sir Jeal. It is enough, sir ; I am so pleas’d with Is there a properer, handsomer, better shaped the countenance of Signior Diego, and the har-fellow in England, ye jade you? Ha! see, see the mony of your name, that I'll take your word, and obstinate bagunge shuts her cyes; by St Iago, I will fetch my daughter this moment. Within have a good mind to beat 'em out. there. (Enter Servant.] Desire Mr Tackum, my
[l'ushes her doan. neighbour's chaplain, to walk hither.
Isab. Do then, sir, kill me, kill me instantly; Serv. Yes, sir.
[Exit. 'Tis much the kinder action of the two, Sir Jeal. Gentlemen, I'll return in an instant. For 't will be worse than death to wed liim.
(Exit. Sir Geo. Sir Jealous, you are too passionate. Cha. Wondrous well! let me embrace thee. Give me leave, I'll try by gentle words to work
Sir Geo. 'Egad, that five thousand crowns had her to your purpose. like to have ruined the plot.
Sir Jeal. I pray do, Mr Meanwell, I pray do; Cha. But that's over; and if Fortune throws she'll break my heart. [ll'eeps.] There is in that no more rubs in our way
jewels of the value of three thousand pounds, Sir Geo. Thou'lt carry the prize - But hist! which were her mothers, and a paper wherein I here he comes.
have settled one half of my estate upon her now,
and the whole when I die, but provided she marEnter Sir JEALOUS dragging in ISABINDA.
ries this gentleman, else, by St Iago, I'll turn her Sir Jcal. Come along, you stubborn baggage out of doors, to beg or starve. Tell her this, Mr you! come along.
Meanwell, pray do.
Sir Geo. Ha! this is beyond expectation Cha. Oh, transport !-Senhor, yo la recibo como Trust to me, sir, I'll lay the dangerous conse se deve un tesoro tan grande. Oh! my joy, my quence of disobeying you at this juncture before life, my soul !
(Embruce. her, I warrant you.
Isub. My faithful, everlasting comfort ! Cha. A sudden joy runs through my heart like Sir Jeal. Now, Mr Meanwell, let's to the para propitious oien.
(Aside. son, Sir Geo. Come, madam, do not blindly cast Who, by his art, will join this pair for :ife, your life away, just in the moment you would wish Make me the happiest father, her the happiest to save it.
(Exeunt. Isub. Pray cease your trouble, sir ; I have no wish but sudden death to free me from this ha- SCENE II.-Changes to the Street before Sir ted Spaniard. If you are his friend, inform him
JEALOUS's Door. what I say; my heart is given to another youth, whom I love with the ame strength of passion
Enter MARPLOT solus. that I hate this Diego, with whom, if I am for Mar. I have hunted all over the town for ced to wed, my own hand shall cut the Gordian Charles, but cann't find him, and by Whisper's knot.
scouting at the end of the street, I suspect he Sir Geo. Suppose this Spaniard, whom you must be in the house again. I am informed too strive to shun, should be the very man to whom that he has borrowed a Spanish habit out of the you'd fly?
play-house: what can it mean? Jsub. Ha! Sir Geo. Would you not blame your rash re
Enter a Servant of Sir JEALOUS's to him out of
the House. solve, and curse your eyes that would not look on Charles ?
Hark'e, sir, do you belong to this house? Isab. On Charles! Oh! you have inspired new Sero. Yes, sir. life, and collected every wandering sense. Where Mar. Isn't your name Richard ? is he? Ob! let me fly into his arms. [Rises. Sero. No, sir, Thomas.
Sir Geo. Bold, hold, hold. ’Sdeath! maciam, Mur. Oh, ay, Thomas-Well, Thomas, there's you'll ruin all. Your father believes him to be a shilling for you. Signior Babinetto, Compose yourself a litile, pray, Serv. Thank you, sir. madam.
[He runs to Sir JEALOUS. Mar. Pray, Thomas, can you tell if there be Cha. Her eyes declare she knows me. [dside. a gentlen an in it in a Spanish habit ?
Sir Geo. She begins to hear reason, sir; the Sero. There's a Spanish gentlenian within, that fear of being turned out of doors has done it. is just a-going to marry my young lady, sir.
[Runs back to ISABINDA. Mar. Are you sure he is a Spanish gentleman ? Isab. 'Tis he! Oh my ravish'd soul!
Serv. I'm sure he speaks no English that I Sir Geo. Take heed, madam, you don't betray bear of. yourself. Seem with reluctance to consent, or Mar. Then that cann't be him I want, for 'tis you are undone. (Runs to Sir JEALOUS.) Speak an English gentleman that I enquire afier; he gently to her, sir; I'm sure she'll yield; I see it may be dressed like a Spaniard for aught I know. in her face.
Šero. Ha! who knows but this may be an inSir Jeal. Well, Isabinda, can you refuse to postor? I'll inform my master, for if he should be bless a father whose only care is to make you impos'd upon, he'll beat us all round. (Aside.) happy, as Mr Meanwell bas informed you? Come, Pray come in, sir, and see if this be the person wipe thy eyes; nay, pr’ythee do, or thou wilt you inquire for. break thy father's heart. See, thou bring’st the Mar. Ay, I'll follow you.- Now for it. tears in mine, to think of thy undutiful carriage
(Ereunt. (Weeps. Isab. Oh, do not weep, sir ! your tears are like SCENE III.-Changes to the Inside of the House. a poniard to my soul. Do with me what you
Enter MARPLOT and Sei vant. please; I am all obedience.
Sir Jeul. Ha! then thou art my child again. Sero. Sir, please to stay here; I'll send my Sir Geo. 'Tis done, and now, friend, the day's master to you.
Mur. So, this was a good contrivance. If this Chu. The happiest of my life, if nothing inter- be Charles now, he will wonder how I found him Sir Jeal. And wilt thou love him?
Enter Servant and Sir JEALOUS. Isab. I will endeavour it, sir.
Sir Jeal. What is your earnest business, blockEnter Servant.
head! that you must speak with me before the Serv. Sir, here is Mr Tackum.
ceremony's past? Ha! who's this? Str Jeal. Shew him into the parlour.–Senhor, Sero. Why this gentleman, sir, wants another tome vind sueipora ; cette momento les junta les gentleman in a Spanish bebit, he says. [Gives her to CHARLES. Sir Jeul. In a Spanish habit ! 'tis some friend
of Signior Don Diego's, I warrant. Sir, your entering here ; I guard this passage, old gentle
man: the act and deed were both your own, and Mar. Your servant, sir.
I'll see 'em sign’d, or die for't. Sır Jeal. I suppose you would speak with Signior Babinetto.
Enter Servant. Mar. Sir!
Sir Jeal. A pox on the act and deed !-Fal} Sir Jeul. I say, I suppose you would speak with on, knock him down. Signior Babinetto.
Sir Geo. Ay, come on, scoundrels ! I'll prick Mar. Hey-day! what the devil does he say your jackets for you. now ? -Sir, I don't understand you.
Sir Jeal. Zounds! sirrah, I'll be reveng'd on Sir Jeal. Don't you understand Spanish, sir ?
(Beats MARPLOT. Mar. Not I indeed, sir.
Sir Geo. Ay, there your vengeance is due. Ha, ha! Sir Jeal. I thought you had known Signior Ba Mar. Why, what do you beat me for? I ha'n't binetto.
married your daughter. Mur. Not I, upon my word, sir.
Sir Jeal. Rascals ! why don't you knock him Sir Jeal. What then, you'd speak with his down? friend, the English merchant, Mr Meanwell ? Serv. Weare afraid of his sword, sir; if you'll take
víar. Neither, sir, not I ; I don't mean any that from him, we'll knock him down presently. Sir Jeal. Why, who are you then, sir ? and
Enter CHARLES and ISABINDA. what do you want?
(In an angry tone. Sir Jeal. Seize her then. Mar. Nay, nothing at all, not I, sir. Pox on Cha. Rascals ! retire ; she's my wife; touch him ! I wish I were out; he begins to exalt his her if you dare; I'll make dog's meat of you. voice ; I shall be beaten again.
Mar. Ay, I'll make dog's meat of you, rascal
. Sir Jeul Nothing at all, sir ! Why, then, what Sir Jeal. Ah! downright English-Oh, oh, oh, business have you in my house? ha!
oh! Sero. You said you wanted a gentleman in a Spanish habit.
Enter Sir Francis GRIPE, MIRANDA, PATCH, Mur. Why, ay, but his name is neither Babi
SCENTWELL, and WHISPER. netto nor Meanwell.
Sir Fran. Into the house of joy we enter withSir Jeal. What is his name, then, sirrah? Ha! out knocking --Ha! I think 'tis the house of now I look at you again, I believe you are the sorrow, Sir Jealous. rogue that threatened me with half-a-dozen myr Sir Jeal. Oh, Sir Francis, are you come? What! midons
was this your contrivance, to abuse, trick, and Mar. Me, sir ! I never saw your face in all my chouse me out of my child. Life before.
Sir Frun. My contrivance ! what do you mean? Sir Jeul. Speak, sir, who is it you look for? Sir Jeal. No, you don't know your son there or, or
in a Spanish habit ! Mar. A terrible old dog !-Why, sir, only Sir Fran. How! my son in a Spanish habit ! an honest young fellow of my acquaintance-i Sirrah, you'll come to be hang’d. Get out of my thought that here might be a ball, and that he sight, ye dog! get out of my sight. might have been here in a masquerade. 'Tis Sir Jeal. Get out of your sight, sir! get out Charles, Sir Francis Gripe's son, because I knew with your bags. Let's see what you'll give him he us'd to come hither sometimes.
now to maintain my daughter. Sir Jeal. Did he so ?- not that I know of, Sir Fran. Give him ! he shall never be the I'm sure. Pray Heav'n that this be Don Diego better for a penny of mine—and you might have If I should be trick'd now-Ha? my heart look'd after your daughter better, Sir Jealous misgives me plaguily—Within there ! stop the Trick’d, quoth-a ! 'Egad, I think you design d to marriage-Run, sirrah, call all my servants ! trick me : but look ye, gentlemen, I believe I shall I'll be satisfied that this is Signior Pedro's son ere trick you both. This lady is my wife, do you see, he has my daughter.
and my estate shall descend only to the heirs of Mar. Ha! Sir George! what have I done now? her body. Enter Sir GEORGE, with a drawn sword, between extremely obliged to you, Sir Francis.
Sir Geo. Lawfully begotten by me, I shall be the scenes.
Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha, ha! poor Sir George Sir Geo. Ha! Marplot here--oh, the unlucky you see your project was of no use: does not dog--What's the matter, Sir Jealous ?
your hundred pounds stick in your stomach ! ha, Sir Jeal. Nay, I don't know the matter, Mr ha, ha! Meanwell.
Sir Geo. No, faith, Sir Francis, this lady has Mar. Upon my soul, Sir George
given me a cordial for that. (Going up to Sir GEORGE.
(Takes her by the hand. Sir Jeal. Nay, then, I'm betray'd, ruin'd, un Sir Fran. Hold, sir, you have nothing to say done. Thieves, traitors, rogues ! (Offers to go in.] this lady. ! Stop the marriage, I say
Sir Geo. Nor you nothing to do with my wife, sir. Sir Geo. I say go on, Mr Tackum.-Nay, no Sir Fran. Wife, sir !
Mir. Ay, really, guardian, 'tis even so. I hope , have for being cuff’d, kick’d, and beaten in your you'll forgive my first offence.
service! Sir Fran. What, have you chous’d me out of Sir Jeal. I have been a little too familiar with my consent and your writinys then, mistress, ha ? you as things are fallen out; but since there's no Mir. Out of nothing but my own, guardian. help for't, you must forgive me.
Sir Jeul. Ha, ha, ha! 'tis some comfort at least Mar. 'Egad, I think so—but provided that you to see you are over-reach'd as well as myself. be not so familiar for the future. Will you settle your estate upon your son now?
Sir Geo. Thou hast been an unlucky rogue. Sir Fran. He shall starve first.
Mar. But very honest. Mir. That I have taken care to prevent. There, Chu. That l'il vouch for, and freely forgive sir, are the writings of your uncle's estate, which thee. have been your due these three years.
Sir Geo. And I'll do you one piece of service (Gives CHARLES papers. more, Marplot ; I'll take care that Sir Francis Cha. I shall study to deserve this favour. make you master of your estate.
Mar. Now, how the devil could she get those Mar. That will make me as happy as any of writings, and I know nothing of it !
Sir Fran. What, have you robb’d me too, mis Patch. Your humble servant begs leave to retress ! 'egad, I'll make you restore 'em-hussy, I mind you, madam.
Isab. Sir, I hope you'll give me leave to take Sir Jeal. Take care I don't make you pay the Patch into favour again. arrears, sir. 'Tis well 'tis no worse, since'tis no Sir Jeal. Nay, let your husband look to that ; better. Come, young man, seeing thou hast out. I have done with my care. witted me, take her, and bless you both!
Cha. Her own liberty shall always oblige me. Cha. I hope, sir, you'll bestow your blessing Here's nobody but honest Whisper and Mrs too; 'tis all I ask.
[Kneels. Scentwell to be provided for now. It shall be Mar. Do, Gardy, do.
left to their choice to marry or keep their serSir Fran. Confound you all!
(Exit. vices. Mar. Mercy upon us, how he looks!
Whisp. Nay, then, I'll stick to m master. Sir Geo. Ha, ha, ha! ne'er mind his curses, Scent. Coxcomb ! and I prefer my lady before Charles; thou'lt thrive not one jot the worse for a footman. 'em. Since this gentleman is reconcild, we are Sir Jeal. Hark, I hear the music; the lers all made happy:
smell a wedding. What say you, young fellows, Sir Jeal. I always lov'd precaution, and took will you have a dance ? care to avoid dangers; but when a thing was past, Sir Geo. With all my heart; call 'em in. I ever had philosophy to be easy,
[A dance. Cha. Which is the true sign of a great soul. I Sir Jeal. Now let us in and refresh ourselves lov'd your daughter, and she me, and you shall with a cheerful glass, in which we'll bury all anihave no reason to repent her choice.
mosities : and Isab. You will not blame me, sir, for loving my By my example let all parents move, own country best.
And never strive to cross their children's love; Mar. So here's every body happy, I find, but But still submit that care to Providence above. poor Pilgarlick. I wonder what satisfaction I shall
In me you see one Busy Body more,
Sour critics time, and breath, and censures waste,