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Free. A Dutch merchant just come to Eng. Trade. I'll lay any man a brace of thousands land.But hark ye, Mr Tradelove I have a piece the siege is rais'd. of news will get you as much as the French king's Free. The Dutch merchant is your man to take death did, if you are expeditious. [Shewing in.

[Aside to TRADELOVE. him a letter.] Read there: I received it just Trade. Does not he know the news? now from one that belongs to the emperor's minis Free. Not a syllable: if he did, he would bet ter.

a hundred thousand pounds as soon as one perTrade. (Reads.] Sir, as I have many obliga- ny :--he's plaguy rich, and a mighty man at wations to you, I cannot miss any opportunity to gers.

[ŽO TRADELOVE shew my gratitude. This moment my lord has re Trade. Say you so --'Egad, I'll bite him if pos ceiv'd a private express, that the Spaniards have sible.

you from Holland, sir? rais'd their siege from before Cagliari :-If this Col. Ya, mynheer. proves any advantage to you, it will answer both Trade. Had you the news before you came the ends and wishes of, sir, your most obliged away? humble servant. HENRICUS DUSSELDORP. Col. What believe you, mynheer? Postscript

Trade. What do I believe? Why I believe that In two or three hours the news will be public.” the Spaniards have actually rais'd the siege of May one depend upon this, Mr Freeman ? Cagliari.

[Aside to FREEMAN. Col. What duyvel's news is dat? 'Tis set Free. You may-I never knew this person send waer, mynhcer’tis no true, sir. me a false piece of news in my life.

Trade. 'Tis so true, mynheer, that I'll lay you Trade. Sir, I am much obliged to you. 'Egad, two thousand pounds upon it. You are sure 'tis rare news -Who sells South Sea for next the letter may be depended upon, Mr Freeman? week?

Free. Do you think I would venture my mo Stock-job. (All together.] I sell ; I, I, I, I, I sell. ney, if I were not sure of the truth of it? 1st stock. I'll selĩ 50001. for next week, at five

[ Aside to TRADE eighthş.

Col. Two duysend pound, mynheer ; 'tis gada2d Stock. I'll sell ten thousand, at five-eighths, en-dis gentleman sal hold de gelt. for the same time.

[Gives FREE, money, Trade. Nay, nay; hold, hold; not all together, Trade. With all my heart—this binds the wager, gentlemen : I'll be no bull: I'll buy no more than Free. You have certainly lost, mynheer: the I can take. Will you sell ten thousand pounds at siege is rais'd indeed. a half, for any day next week, except Saturday? Col. Ik gelov't niet, Mynheer Freeman ; ik sal

1st Stock. I'll sell it you, Mr Tradelove. ye dubbled honden, if you please. Free. (Whispers to one of the gentlemen. Free. I am let into the secret, therefore won't

1st Gent. [Áside.) The Spaniards rais'd the siege win your money. of Cagliari! I don't believe one word of it. Trade. Ha, ha, ha! I have snapt the Dutai.

2d Gent. Rais’d the siege! As much as you man, faith ; ha, ha! This is no ill day's workhave rais'd the monument.

Pray, may I crave your name, mynheer? Free. 'Tis rais’d, I assure you, sir.

Coi. Myn naem, mynheer! Nyn naem is Jan 2d Gent. What will you lay on't?

Van Timtamtirelireletta Heer Fainwell. Free. What you please.

Trade. Zounds ! 'tis a damn'd long name; 1st Gent, Why, I have a brother upon the spot, shall never remember it- Myn heer Van, Tim, in the emperor's service : I am certain if there Tim, Tim, -What the devil is it? were any such thing, I should have had a letter. Free. Oh! never heed; I know the gentleman,

2d síock. How's this? The siege of Cagliari and will pass my word for twice the sum. rais'd I wish it may be true: 'twill make busi Trude. That's enough. ness stir, and stocks rise.

Col. You'll hear of me sooner than you'll wish, Ist Stocko Tradelove's a cunning fat bear : If old gentleman, I fancy. (Aside.] You'll come to this news prove true, I shall repent I sold him the Sackbut's, Freeman. five thousand pounds.--Pray, sir, what assu. Free. Immediately,

(Aside to the Colonel

. rance have you that the siege is rais'd ?

Ist Man. Humphry Hump here? Free. There is come an express to the empe 2d Boy. Mr Humphry Hump is not here: you'll ror's minister.

find him upon the Dutch walk. 2d Stock. I'll know that presently.

Trade. Mr Freeman, I give you many thanks 1st Gent. Let it come where it will, I'll hold for your kindness. you fisty pounds ’tis false.

Free. I fear you'll repent, when

you Free. 'Tis done.

2d Gent. I'll lay you a brace of hundreds upon Trade. Will you dine with me? the same.

Free. I'm engag'd at Sackbut's. Adieu. Free. I'll take you. 41h Slock. 'Egad, l’il hold twenty pieces ’tis not Trade. Sir, your humble servant. Now I'll see rais’d, sir.

what I can do upon 'Change with my news. Free. Done with you too.

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seventy-five-that he has seven hundred a-year, SCENE II.-The Tavern.

most in abbey land—that he was once in love

with your mother, shrewdly suspected by some to Enter FREEMAN and Colonel.

be your father-that you have been thirty years Free. Ha, ha, ha! The old fellow swallowed his steward—and ten years his gentleman-Rethe bait as greedily as a gudgeon.

member to improve these hints. Col. I have him, faith; ha, ha, ha!-his two Col. Never fear; let me alone for that-But thousand pounds secure -If he would keep his

what's the steward's name? money, he must part with the lady; ha, ha, ha! Free. His name is Pillage.

What came of your two friends? They per Col. Enough-{Enter SACKBUT with clothes.) formed their part very well : You should have -Now for the country put.

[Dresses. brought 'em to take a glass with us.

Free. 'Egad, landlord, thou deservest to have Free. No matter; we'll drink a bottle together the first night's lodging with the lady, for thy fideanother time.--I did not care to bring them hi- lity :-What say you, colonel : shall we settle a ther : there's no necessity to trust them with the club here? You'll make one? main secret, you know, colonel.

Col. Make one! I'll bring a set of honest offiCol. Nay, that's right, Freeman,

cers, that will spend their money as freely to the

king's health, as they would their blood in his Enter SACKBUT.

service. Sack. Joy, joy, colonel! The luckiest accident Sack. I thank you, colonel.—Here, here. in the world!

[Bell rings.]

(Exit SACKBUT. Col. What say'st thou ?

Col. So, now for my boots. (Puts on boots.]Sack. This letter does your business.

Shall I find you here, Freeman, when I come Col. (Reads.) To Obadiah Prim, hosier, near

back? the building call’d the Monument, in London.” Free. Yes, or I'll leave word with Sackbut

Free. A letter to Prim! How came you by it? where he may send for me--Have you the wri

Sack. Looking over the letters our post-wo-tings, the wil—and every thing? man brought, as I always do, to see what letters Col. Al, all. are directed to my house, (for she cann't read,

Enter SACKBUT. you must know,) I spy'd this directed to Prim, 80 paid for it among the rest. I have given the Sack. Zounds ! Mr Freeman! yonder is Tradeold jade a pint of wine on purpose to delay time, love in the damned'st passion in the world-He till you see if the letter be of any service; then swears you are in the house--he says you told I'll seal it up again, and tell her I took it by mis- him you were to dine here. take :- I have read it, and fancy you'll like the Free. I did so; ha, ha, ha! He has found him project.-Read, read, colonel.

self bit already. Col. (Reads.] “ Friend Prim, there is arrived Col. The devil! He must not see me in this from Pennsylvania one Simon Pure, a leader of dress. the faithful, who hath sojourned with us eleven Sack. I told him I expected you here, but you days, and hath been of great comfort to the bre were not come yet. thren-He intendeth for the quarterly meeting in Free. Very well-Make you haste out, colonel, London. I have recommended him to thy house. and let me alone to deal with him. Where is he? I pray thee treat him kindly, and let thy wife Sack. In the King's Head. cherish him, for he's of weakly constitution Col. You remember what I told you ? He will depart from us the third day: Which is all Free. Ay, ay, very well. -Landlord, let him from thy friend in the faith,

know I am come in-and now, Mr Pillage, sucAMINADAB HOLDFAST." | cess attend you,

[Exit Sack Ha, ha! excellent! I understand


landlord-I Col. Mr Proteus rather.ain to personate this Simon Pure, am I not? Sack. Don't you like the hint?

From changing shape, and imitating Jove, Col. Admirably well !

I draw the happy omens of my love. Free. 'Tis the best contrivance in the world, if I'm not the first young brother of the blade, the right Simon gets not there before you.

Who made his fortune in a masquerade. Col. No, no; the quakers never ride post: he

[Erit Colonel. cann't be here before to-morrow, at soonest.-Do you send and buy me a quaker's dress, Mr Sach

Enter TRADELOVE. but; and suppose, Freeman, you should wait at Free. Zounds! Mr Tradelove, we're bit, it the Bristol coach, that if you see any such person, seems. you might contrive to give me notice.

Trade. Bit, do you call it, Mr Freeman! I am Free. I will The country dress and boots, are ruin'd.-Pox on your news. they ready?

Free. Pox on the rascal that sent it me.
Šack. Yes, yes, every thing, sir.

Trade. Sent it you! Why, Gabriel Skinflint Free. Bring'em in then.-(Exit Sack.] Thou has been at the minister's, and spoke with him, must dispatch Periwinkle first-Remember his and he has assur'd him 'tis every syllable false : uncle, Sir Toby Periwinkle, is an old batchelor of | he receiv'd no such express,

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you, sir.

Free. I know it: I this minute parted with my If, when cash runs low, our coffers t'enlarge, friend, who protested he never sent me any such We cann't, like other stocks, transfer our charge? letter-Some roguish stock-jobber has done it, on


. purpose to make me lose my money, that's cer Free. Ha, ha, ha!-he has it. (Exit. tain : I wish I knew who he was; I'd make him repent it. I have lost 300l. by it.

SCENE III.-Changes to PERIWINKLE's House. Trade. What signifies your three hundred pounds to what I have lost? There's two thou

Enter PERIWINKLE on one side, and Footman or

the other. sand pounds to that Dutchman with a cursed long name, besides the stock I bought.The de Foot. A gentleman from Coventry enquires for vil ! I could tear my flesh.-I must never shew my face upon 'Change more ;-for, by my soul, Per. From my uncle, I warrant you.—Bring him I cann't pay it.

up-This will save me the trouble, as well as the Free. I am heartily sorry for it! What can I expence of a journey. serve you in? Shall I speak to the Dutch mer

Enter Colonel. chant, and try to get you time for the payment ?

Trade. Time! Ads'heart, I shall never be able Col. Is your name Periwinkle, sir ? to look up again.

Per. It is, sir. Free. I am very much concerned that I was Col. I am sorry for the message I bring—My the occasion, and wish I could be an instrument old master, whom I served these forty years, claims of retrieving your misfortune: for my own, I va the sorrow due from a faithful servant to an indul. lue it not. Adso! a thought comes into my head, gent master.


. that, well improved, may be of service.

Per. By this I understand, sir, my uncle, sir Trade. Ah! there's no thought can be of any Toby Periwinkle, is dead. service to me, without paying the money, or run Col. He is, sir, and he has left you heir to ning away:

seven hundred a-year, in as good abbey-land as Free. How do we know? What do you think ever paid Peter-pence to Rome.--I wish you of my proposing Mrs Lovely to him? He is a sin- long to enjoy it; but my tears will flow when I gle man—and I heard him say he had a mind to think of my benefactor. - [Weeps.] Ah! he was a marry an English woman--nay, more than that, good man—-he has not left many of his fellows he said somebody told him you had a pretty ward the poor lament him sorely. -he wisb'd you had betted her instead of your Per. I pray, sir, what office bore you? money.

Col. I was his steward, sir. Trade. Ay, but he'd be hang'd before he'd Per. I have heard him mention you with much take her instead of the money: the Dutch are respect : Your name istoo covetous for that: besides, he did not know Col. Pillage, sir. that there were three more of us, I suppose. Per. Ay, Pillage; I do remember he calld you

Free. So much the better. You may venture Pillage-Pray, Mr Pillage, when did my uncle to give him your consent, if he'll forgive you the die? wager: it is not your business to tell him that Col. Monday last, at four in the morning. your consent will signify nothing.

About two he sign’d his will, and gave it into my Trade. That's right, as you say; but will he hands, and strictly charged me to leave Coventry do it, think you?

the moment he expired, and deliver it to you Free. I cann't tell that; but I'll try what I can with what speed I could. I have obeyed him, sir; do with him--He has promis'd to meet me and there is the will.

(Gides it to PER. here an hour hence: I'll feel his pulse, and let Per. 'Tis very well: I'll lodge it in the Com. you know : if I find it feasible, I'll send for you ; mons. if not, you are at liberty to take what measures Col. There are two things which he forgot to you please.

insert, but charg'd me to tell you that he desir'd Trade. You must extol her beauty, double her you'd perform them as readily as if you had found portion, and tell him I have the entire disposal of them written in the will, which is, to remove his her, and that she cann't marry without my con corpse, and bury him by his father at St Paul's, sent;—and that I am a covetous rogue, and will Covent-Garden, and to give all his servants mournnever part with her without a valuable consi- ing. deration.

Per. That will be a considerable charge. A Free. Ay, ay, let me alone for a lie at a pinch. pox of all modern fashions ! (Aside. Well, it

Trade. 'Egad, if you can bring this to bear, shall be done. Mr Pillage, I will agree with one Mr Freeman, I'll make you whole again : I'll pay of Death's fashion-mongers, calls an undertaker, the three hundred pounds you lost with all my to go down, and bring up the body. soul.

Col. I hope, sir, I shall have the bonour to Free. Well, I'll use my best endeavours- serve you in the same station I did your worthy Where will you be?

uncle: I have not many years to stay behind him, Trade. At home-Pray Heaven you prosper- and would gladly spend them in the family where If I were but the sole trustee now, I should not I was brought up-[Weeps.]–He was a kind and fear it.-Who the devil would be a guardian tender master to me.


Per. Pray don't grieve, Mr Pillage : you shall lection of rarities might I have had by this time! hold your place, and every thing else which you - I might have travelld over all the known parts held under my uncle-You make me weep to of the globe, and made my own closet rival the see you so concern'd. (Weeps.]–He liv'd to a Vatican at Rome. - Odso, I have a good mind good old age, and we are all mortal.

to begin my travels now. -Let me see Col. We are so, sir, and therefore I must beg am but sixty! My father, grandfather, and great pou to sign this lease: you'll find Sir Toby has grandfather, reach'd ninety odd.— I have almost taken particular notice of it in his will — I could forty years good. -Let me consider! What not get it time enough from the lawyer, or he had will seven hundred a-year amount to in-ay, in sign'd it before he died.

(Gives him a paper.

thirty years, I'll say but thirty-Thirty times Per. A lease! for what?

seven, is seven times thirty -that is -just Col. I rented a hundred a-year of Sir Toby up twenty-one thousand pounds :—'Tis a great deal on lease, which lease expires at Lady-day next. I of money.--I may very well reserve sixteen desire to renew it for twenty years—that's all, sir.

hundred of it for a collection of such rarities as Per. Let me see. (Looks over the lease. will make my name famous to posterity: - -I Col. Matters go swimmingly, if nothing inter would not die like other mortals, forgotten in a

[Aside. year or two, as my uncle will be No, Per. Very well—Let's see what he says in his will about it.

With Nature's curious works I'll raise my fame, (Lays the lease upon the table, and looks on the That men, till doom’s-day, may repeat my name. will.

(Exit. Col. He's very wary, yet I fancy I shall be too cunning for him.

[ Aside. SCENE IV.-Changes to a Tavern. Per. Ho, here it is—The farm lying—now in possession of Samuel Pillage-suffer him to re

FREEMAN and TRADELOVE over a bottle. new his lease—at the same rent.- Very well, Trade. Come, Mr Freeman, here's Mynheer Mr Pillage, I see my uncle does mention it, and Jan Van Tim, Tam, Tam-I shall never think I'll perform his will. Give me the lease(Col. of that Dutchman's name. gives it him; he looks upon it, and lays it upon Free. Mynheer Jan Van Timtamtirelireletta the table.Pray you step to the door, and call for Heer Van Fainwell. a pen and ink, Mr Pillage.

Trade. Ay, Heer Van Fainwell. I never heard Col. I have a pen and ink in my pocket, sir : such a confounded name in my life-Here's his [Pulls out an ink-horn :) I never go without that. health, I say:

Per. I think it belongs to your profession Free. With all my heart. (He looks upon the pen, while the Col. changes Trade. Faith, I never expected to have found the lease, and lays down the contract.] I doubt so generous a thing in a Dutchman. this is but a sorry pen, though it may serve to Free. Oh, he has nothing of the Hollander in write my name.

(Writes. his temper-except an antipathy to monarchy. Col. Little does he think what he signs.

-As soon as I told him your circumstances,

[ Aside. he reply'd, he would not be the ruin of any man Per. There is your lease, Mr Pillage. [Gives for the world and immediately made this propohim the paper.] Now I must desire you to make sal himself-Let him take what time he will for what haste you can down to Coventry, and take the payment, said he; or if he'll give me his ward, care of every thing, and I'll send down the under- I'll forgive him the debt. taker for the body; do you attend it up, and Trade. Well, Mr Freeman, I can but thank whatever charge you are at, I'll repay you, you.—'Egad, you have made a man of me again!

Col. You have paid me alrcady, I thank you, and if ever I lay a wager more, may I rot in a sir.

(Aside. gaol. Per. Will you dine with me?

Free. I assure you, Mr Tradelove, I was very Col. I would rather not : there are some of my much concern'd, because I was the occasion neighbours which I met as I came along, who though very innocently, I protest. leave the town this afternoon, they told me, and Trude. I dare swear you was, Mr Freeman, I should be glad of their company down.

Enter a Fiddler. Per. Well, well, I won't detain you. Col. I don't care how soon I am out. (Aside. Fid. Please to have a lesson of music, or a Per. I will give orders about mourning. song, gentlemen ?

Col. You will have cause to mourn, when you Free. Song? Ay, with all our hearts: have you know your estate imaginary only. (Aside. a very merry one?

Fid. Yes, sir, my wife and I can give you a You'll find your hopes and cares alike are vain :

merry dialogue.

(Here is the song. In spite of all the caution you have ta’en,

Trade. "Îis very pretty,

faith. Fortune rewards the faithful lover's pain. [Exit. Free. There's something for you to drink, Per. Seven hundred a-year !-I wish he had friend :

: go; lose no time, died seventeen years ago :-What a valuable col Fid. I thank you, sir.


under yours,

Enter Drawer, and Colonel, dressed for the Dutch Free. Ay, ay, that we will.

Col. Well, mynheer, ye most meer doen, ye Col. Ha, Mynheer Tradelove, Ik ben sorry voor

most myn voorsprach to de frow syn. your troubles—maer Ik sal you easie maken, Ik Free. He means you must recommend him to

the lady. will de gelt nie haben. Trade. I shall for ever acknowledge the obli

Trade. That I will, and to the rest of my brogation, sir.

ther guardians. Free. But you understand upon what condition,

Col. Wat, vour, de duyvel, heb you meer guar

dians ? Mr Tradelove :-Mrs Lovely. Col. Ya, de frow sal al te regt setten, mynheer.

Trade. Only three, mynheer. Trade. With all my heart, mynheer : you shall

Col. What donder heb ye myn betrocken, myte have my consent to marry hier freely.

heer?-Had Ik dat gewoeten, Ik soude eaven Free. Well, then, as I am a party concern'd

met you geweest syn.

Sack. But Mr Tradelove is the principal, and between you, Mynheer Jan Van Timtamtirelireletta Heer Van Fainwell shall give you a discharge he can do a great deal with the rest, sir. of your wager, under his own hand,--and you

Free. And he shall use his interest, I promise shall give him your consent to marry Mrs Lovely you, mynheer. —that is the way to avoid all man

Trade. I will say all that ever I can think on ner of disputes hereafter.

to recommend you, mynheer; and, if you please, Col. Ya, weeragtig.

I'll introduce you to the lady.

Col. Well, dat is waerTrade. Ay, ay, so it is, Mr Freeman : I'll give it

-Maer ye must first under mine this minute. [Sits down to write. spreken of myn to de frow, and to oudore gentle Cot. And so Ik sal.

[Does the same. Free. So ho! the house! (Enter Drawer.] Bid

Free. Ay, that's the best way,—and then land your master come up->I'll see there be wit- the Heer Van Fainwell will meet you there. nesses enough to the bargain.

[ Aside.

Trade. I will go this moment, upon honour

Your most obedient humble servant.

speaking will do you little good, mynheer; ha, ha! Sack. Do you call, gentlemen?

We have bit you, faith ; ha, ha! Free. Ay, Mr Sackbut; we shall want your hand here.

Well-my debt's discharged, and for the man, Trade. There, mynheer, there's my consent, as

He has my consent-to get her, if he can. amply as you can desire; but you must insert

(Exil. your own name, for I know not how to spell it; Col. Ha, ha, ha! this was a masterpiece of con1 have left a blank for it.

trivance, Freeman. [Gives the Colonel a paper fortune, and little thinks the luck's on our side!

Free. He hugs himself with his supposed good Col. Ya Ik sal dat well doen.

Free. Now, Mr Sackbut, you and I will wit -But come, pursue the fickle goddess while ness it.

[They write.

she's in the mood Now for the quaker. Col. Daer, Mynheer Tradelove, is your


Col. That's the hardest task. charge.

[Gives him a paper. Trade. Be pleas'd to witness this receipt too,

Of all the counterfeits perform’d by man, gentlemen.

A soldier makes the simplest puritan. (Exeunt. [FREEMAN and SACKBUT put their hands.


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Mrs Pr. My hypocrisy! I scorn thy words, SCENE I.-PRIM's House.

Anne: I lay no baits. Enter Mrs Prim and Mrs LOVELY, in Quakers'

Mrs Lov. If you did, you'd catch no fish.

Mrs Pr. Well, well, make thy jests—but I'd dresses, meeting.

have thee to know, Anne, that I could have catch'd Mrs Pr. So, now I like thee, Anne. Art thou as many fish (as thou call'st them) in my time, as not better without thy monstrous hoop-coat and ever thou did'st, with all thy fool-traps about thee patches?- If Heaven should make thee so many - If admirers be thy aim, thou wilt have more of black spots upon thy face, would it not fright thee, them in this dress than the other—The men, take Anne?

my word for't, are more desirous to see what we Mrs Loo. If it should turn your inside outward, are most careful to conceal. and shew all the spots of your hypocrisy, 'twould Mrs Loc. Is that the reason of your formality, fright me worse !

Mrs Prim? Truth will out.--I ever thought, in

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