deed, there was more design than goodness in the pinch'd cap. Mrs Pr. Go; thou are corrupted with reading lewd plays and filthy romances- -good for nothing but to lead youth into the high road of fornication. Ah! I wish thou art not already too familiar with the wicked ones. Mrs Lov Too familiar with the wicked ones! Pray, no more of those freedoms, madam-I am familiar with none so wicked as yourself -How dare you thus talk to me ! you, you, you unworthy woman you. [Bursts into tears. Enter TRADELove. Trade. What, in tears, Nancy? What have you done to her, Mrs Prim, to make her weep? Mrs Lov. Done to me! I admire I keep my senses among you ;-but I will rid myself of your tyranny, if there be either law or justice to be had: -I'll force you to give me up my liberty. Mrs Pr. Thou hast more need to weep for thy sins, Anne,-yea, for thy manifold sins. Mrs Lov. Don't think that I'll be still the fool which you have made me.-No, I'll wear what I please go when and where I please-and keep what company I think fit, and not what you shall direct-I will. Trade. For my part, I do think all this very reasonable, Mrs Lovely-'tis fit you should have your liberty, and for that very purpose I am come. Enter Mr PERIWINKLE, and Obadiah Prim, with a letter in his hand. Per. I have bought some black stockings of your husband, Mrs Prim; but he tells me the glover's trade belongs to you; therefore I pray you look me out five or six dozen of mourning gloves, such as are given at funerals, and send them to my house. Ob. Pr. My friend Periwinkle has got a good wind-fall to-day-seven hundred a-year. Mrs Pr. I wish thee joy of it, neighbour. Trade. What, is Sir Toby dead then? Per. He is !-You'll take care, Mrs Prim. Mrs Pr. Yea, I will, neighbour. Ob. Pr. This letter recommendeth a speaker: 'tis from Aminadab Holdfast of Bristol: peradventure he will be here this night; therefore, Sarah, do thou take care for his reception. [Gives her the letter. Mrs Pr. I will obey thee. Ob. Pr. Why, truly, if we could find a husband worth having, I should be as glad to see her married as thou wouldst, neighbour. Per. Well said: there are but few worth having. that Trade. I can recommend you a man now, I think you can none of you have an objection to Enter Sir PHILIP MODELove. Sir Phil. What must it be? A whale or a rhinoceros, Mr Periwinkle? ha, ha, ha! Mr Tradelove, I have a bill upon you, [Gives him a paper] and have been seeking for you all over the town. Trade. I'll accept it, Sir Philip, and pay it when due. Per. He shall be none of the fops at your end of the town, with full perukes and empty skulls -nor yet any of your trading gentry, who puzzle the heralds to find arms for their coaches.-No, he shall be a man famous for travels, solidity, and curiosity-one who has searched into the profundity of nature! When Heaven shall direct such a one, he shall have my consent, because it may turn to the benefit of mankind. Mrs Lov. The benefit of mankind! What, would you anatomize me? Sir Phil. Ay, ay, madam he would dissect you. Trade. Or pore over you through a microscope, to see how your blood circulates, from the crown of your head to the sole of your foot-ha, ha! But I have a husband for you; a man that knows how to improve your fortune; one that trades to the four corners of the globe. Mrs Lov. And would send me for a venture perhaps. Trade. One that will dress you in all the pride of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America-a Dutch merchant, my girl. Sir Phil. A Dutchman! ha, ha! There's a husband for a fine lady.- -Ya frow, will you meet myn slapen-ha, ha! He'll learn you to talk the language of the hogs, madam; ha, ha! Trade. He'll learn you that one merchant is of more service to a nation than fifty coxcombs. The Dutch know the trading interest to be of more benefit to the state than the landed. Sir Phil. But what is either interest to a lady? Trade. 'Tis the merchant makes the belleHow would the ladies sparkle in the box without the merchant? The Indian diamond! The French brocade! The Italian fan! The Flanders lace! The fine Dutch holland! How would they vent their scandal over their tea-tables? And where would your beaux have Champagne, to toast their mistresses, were it not for the merchant? Ob. Pr. Verily, neighbour Tradelove, thou dost waste thy breath about nothing-All that thou hast said tendeth only to debauch youth, and fill their heads with the pride and luxury of this world. The merchant is a very great friend to Satan, and sendeth as many to his dominions as the pope. Per. Right: I say knowledge makes the man. Ob. Pr. Yea, but not thy kind of knowledge -it is the knowledge of truth.-Search thou for the light within, and not for baubles, friend. Mrs Lov. Ah, study your country's good, Mr Periwinkle, and not her insects.Rid you of your home-bred monsters, before you fetch any from abroad-I dare swear you have maggots Per. You recommend! Nay, whenever she enough in your own brain to stock all the virmarries, I'll recommend the husband. tuosos in Europe with butterflies. VOL. IV. U Sir Phil. By my soul, Miss Nancy's a wit. Ob. Pr. That is more than she can say by thee, friend.-Look ye, it is in vain to talk: When I meet a man worthy of her, she shall have my leave to marry him. Mrs Lov. Provided he be of the faithful.Was there ever such a swarm of caterpillars to blast the hopes of a woman! [Aside.] Know this, that you contend in vain :-I'll have no husband of your choosing, nor shall you lord it over me long- -I'll try the power of an English senate. Orphans have been redress'd, and wills set aside-And none did ever deserve their pity more. Oh, Fainwell! where are thy promises to free me from these vermin?-Alas! the task was more difficult than he imagined! A harder task than what the poets tell, Enter Servant, and whispers to PRIM. Ob. Pr. Friend Pure, thou art welcome.-How is it with friend Holdfast, and all friends in Bristol? Timothy Littleworth, John Slenderbrain, and Christopher Keepfaith? Col. A goodly company! [Aside.] They are all in health, I thank thee for them. Ob. Pr. Friend Holdfast writes me word that thou camest lately from Pennsylvania:-how do all friends there? Col. What the devil shall I say? I know just as much of Pennsylvania as I do of Bristol. [Aside. Ob. Pr. Do they thrive? Col. Yea, friend, the blessings of their good works fall upon them. Enter Mrs PRIM and Mrs LOVELY. Ob. Pr. Sarah, know our friend Pure. Mrs Pr. Thou art welcome. [He salutes her. Col. Here comes the sum of all my wishesHow charming she appears, even in that disguise! [Aside. Ob. Pr. Why dost thou consider the maiden so attentively, friend? Col. I will tell thee.About four days ago I saw a vision-this very maiden, but in vain attire, standing on a precipice; and heard a voice, which called me by my name-and bid me put forth my hand, and save her from the pit--I did so; and methought the damsel grew unto my side. Mrs Pr. What can that portend? Ob. Pr. The damsel's conversion--I am persuaded. Mrs Lov. That's false, I'm sure. [Aside. Ob. Pr. Wilt thou use the means, friend Pure? Col. Means! What means?-Is she not thy daughter-already one of the faithful? Mrs Pr. No, alas! she's one of the ungodly. Ob. Pr. Pray thee mind what this good man will say unto thee: he will teach thee the way that thou shouldst walk, Anne. Mrs Loo. I know my way without his instruction: I hop'd to have been quiet when once I had put on your odious formality here. Col. Then thou wearest it out of compulsion, not choice, friend? Mrs Lov. Thou art in the right of it, friend. Mrs Pr. Art thou not asham'd to mimic the good man? Ah! thou art a stubborn girl. Col. Mind her not: she hurteth not me-If thou wilt leave her alone with me, I will discuss some few points with her, that may perchance soften her stubbornness, and melt her into compliance. Ob. Pr. Content. I pray thee put it home to her.-Come, Sarah, let us leave the good man with her. Mrs Lov. [Catching hold of PRIM; he breaks loose, and exit.] What do you mean-to leave me with this old enthusiastical canter? Don't think, because I comply'd with your formality, to impose your ridiculous doctrine upon me. Col. I pray thee, young woman, moderate thy passion. Mrs Loo. I pray thee walk after thy leader: You will but lose your labour upon me.-These wretches will certainly make me mad! Col. I am of another opinion :-The spirit telleth me I shall convert thee, Anne. Mrs Lov. 'Tis a lying spirit: don't believe it. Col. Say'st thou so? Why, then, thou shalt convert me, my angel. [Catching her in his arms. Mrs Lov. [Shrieks.] Ah! monster, hold off, or I'll tear thy eyes out. Col. Hush! for Heaven's sake-Dost thou not know me? I am Fainwell. Mrs Lov. Fainwell! [Enter old PRIM.] Oh, I'm undone! Prim, here--I wish with all my soul I had been dumb. Ob. Pr. What is the matter? Why didst thou shrick out, Anne? Mrs Lov. Shriek out! I'll shriek and shriek again, cry murder, thieves, or any thing, to drown the noise of that eternal babbler, if you leave me with him any longer. Ob. Pr. Was that all? Fie, fie, Anne. Ob. Pr. Fare thee well. [Exit. [Embraces her. Mrs Lov. What mean'st thou by this disguise, Fainwell? Col. To set thee free, if thou wilt perform thy promise. Mrs Lov. Make me mistress of my fortune, and make thy own conditions. Col. This night shall answer all my wishes.— See, here I have the consent of three of thy guardians already, and doubt not but Prim will make the fourth. [PRIM listening. Ob. Pr. I would gladly hear what arguments the good man useth to bend her. [Aside. Mrs Lov. Thy words give me new life, methinks. Ob. Pr. What do I hear? Mrs Lov. Thou best of men, Heaven meant to bless me, sure, when I first saw thee. Ob. Pr. He hath mollified her.Oh, wonderful conversion! Col. Ha! Prim listening.-No more, my love: we are observed: seem to be edified, and give 'em hopes that thou wilt turn quaker; and leave the rest to me. [Aloud.] I am glad to find that thou art touch'd with what I said unto thee, Anne: another time I will explain the other article unto thee: in the mean while, be thou dutiful to our friend Prim. Mrs Lov. I shall obey thee in every thing. Enter OBADIAH PRIM. Ob. Pr. Oh, what a prodigious change is here! --Thou hast wrought a miracle, friend! Anne, how dost thou like the doctrine he hath preached? Mrs Lov. So well, that I could talk to him for ever, methinks-I am ashamed of my former folly, and ask your pardon, Mr Prim. Col. Enough, enough, that thou art sorry: he is no pope, Anne. Ob. Pr. Verily thou dost rejoice me exceedingly, friend.-Will it please thee to walk into the next room, and refresh thyself.—Come, take the maiden by the hand. Col. We will follow thee. Ob. Pr. What is thy will with me, friend? S. Pu. Didst thou not receive a letter from Aminadab Holdfast of Bristol, concerning one Simon Pure? Ob. Pr. Yea, and Simon Pure is already here, friend. Col. And Simon Pure will stay here, friend, if it be possible. [Aside. S. Pu. That's an untruth, for I am he. Col. Take thou heed, friend, what thou dost say: :-I do affirm that I am Simon Pure. Col. Yea, that Pure which my good friend, Aminadab Holdfast, wrote to my friend Prim about; the same Simon Pure that came from Pennsylvania, and sojourned in Bristol eleven days. Thou wouldst not take my name from me, wouldst thou? -till I have done with it. [Aside. S. Pu. Thy name! I'm astonish'd! [Going up to him, S. PURE starts back. S. Pu. Avaunt, Satan; approach me not: I defy thee and all thy works. Mrs Lov. Oh, he'll outcant him-Undone, undone for ever. [Aside. Col. Hark thee, friend, thy sham will not take -Don't exert thy voice: thou art too well acquainted with Satan to start at him, thou wicked reprobate-What can thy design be here? Enter a Servant, and gives PRIM a letter. Ob. Pr. One of these must be a counterfeit, but which I cannot say. Col. What can that letter be? [Aside. Col. 'Tis Freeman's hand-[Reads.] "There is a design formed to rob your house this night, and cut your throat; and for that purpose there is a man disguised like a quaker, who is to pass for one Simon Pure. The gang, whereof I am one, though now resolved to rob no more, has been at Bristol: One of them came in the coach with the quaker, whose name he hath taken, and, from what he hath gathered from him, formed that design; and did not doubt but he should impose so far upon you, as to make you turn out the real Simon Pure, and keep him with you. Make the right use of this. Adieu."-Excellent well! [Aside. Ob. Pr. Dost thou hear this? [To S. PURE. S. Pu. Yea, but it moveth me not: that, doubtless, is the impostor. [Pointing at the Col. Col. Ah! thou wicked one-now I consider thy face, I remember thou didst come up in the leathern conveniency with me:-Thou hadst a black bob wig on, and a brown camblet coat, with brass buttons.-Canst thou deny it? ha? S. Pu. Yea, I can, and with a safe conscience too, friend. Ob. Pr. Verily, friend, thou art the most impudent villain I ever saw. Mrs Lov. Nay, then, I'll have a fling at him. [Aside.] I remember the face of this fellow at Bath-Ay, this is he that pick'd my lady Raffle's pocket in the Grove-Don't you remember that the mob pump'd you, friend?-This is the most notorious rogue-- S. Pu. What dost provoke thee to seek my life?-Thou wilt not hang me, wilt thou, wrong S. Pu. Thy name may be Pure, friend, but not fully? that Pure. Öb. Pr. She will do thee no hurt, nor thou shalt do me none; therefore get thee about thy business, friend, and leave thy wicked course of life, or thou may'st not come off so favourably every where. Col. Go, friend, I would advise thee, and tempt thy fate no more. S. Pu. Yea, I will go, but it shall be to thy confusion; for I shall clear myself: I will return with some proofs that shall convince thee, Obadiah, that thou art highly imposed upon. [Exit. Col. Then there will be no staying for me, that's certain-What the devil shall I do? [Aside. Ob. Pr. What monstrous works of iniquity are there in this world, Simon! Col. Yea, the age is full of vice.-'Sdeath! I am so confounded, I know not what to say. [Aside. Ob. Pr. Thou art disorder'd, friend-Art thou not well? Col. My spirit is greatly troubled, and something telleth me, that though I have wrought a good work in converting this maiden, this tender maiden, yet my labour will be in vain; for the evil spirit fighteth against her; and I see, yea, I see with the eye of my inward man, that Satan will re-buffet her again, whenever I withdraw myself from her; and she will, yea, this very damsel will return again to that abomination from whence I have retriev'd her, as if it were, yea, as if it were out of the jaws of the fiend. Ob. Pr. Good lack, thinkest thou so? Mrs Lov. I must second him. [Aside.] What meaneth this struggling with me? I feel the spirit resisteth the vanities of this world, but the flesh is rebellious, yea, the flesh-I greatly fear the flesh, and the weakness thereof-hum! chosen vessel to raise up seed to the faithful, and that thou must consent that we two be one flesh, according to the word-hum! Ob. Pr. What a revelation is here? This is certainly part of thy vision, friend; this is the maiden's growing into thy side: Ah! with what willingness should I give thee my consent, could I give thee her fortune too-but thou wilt never get the consent of the wicked ones. [Aside. Col. I wish I was sure of yours. Ob. Pr. My soul rejoiceth, yea, rejoiceth, I say, to find the spirit within thee; for lo, it moveth thee with natural agitation-yea, with natural agitation towards this good man-yea, it stirreth, as one may say,-yea, verily, I say, it stirreth up thy inclination-yea, as one would stir a pudding. Mrs Lov. I see, I see the spirit guiding of thy hand, good Obadiah Prim, and now behold thou art signing thy consent; and now I see myself within thy arms, my friend and brother; yea, I am become bone of thy bone, and flesh of thy flesh[Embracing him]-hum! Col. Admirably performed. [Aside.]-And I will take thee in all spiritual love for an help-mate, yea, for the wife of my bosom ;-and now methinks- I feel a longing—yea, a longing, I say, for the consummation of thy love,-yea, I do long exceedingly. Mrs Loo. And verily, verily, my spirit feeleth the same longing. Mrs Pr. The spirit hath greatly moved them both.-Friend Prim, thou must consent: there's no resisting of the spirit! Ob. Pr. Yea, the light within sheweth me that I shall fight a good fight-and wrestle through those reprobate fiends, thy other guardians ;yea, I perceive the spirit will hedge thee into the flock of the righteous.-Thou art a chosen lamb Col. Behold her light begins to shine forth.--yea, a chosen lamb, and I will not push thee Excellent woman! Ob. Pr. The maid is inspir'd. [Aside. Mrs Lov. This good man hath spoken comfort unto me, yea, comfort, I say; because the words which he hath breathed into my outward ears are gone through, and fix'd in mine heart, yea, verily, in mine heart, I say ;—and I feel the spirit doth love him exceedingly-hum! Col. She acts it to the life. [Aside. Ob. Pr. Prodigious! The damsel is filled with the spirit-Sarah. Enter Mrs PRIM. Mrs Pr. I am greatly rejoiced to see such a change in our beloved Anne.-I came to tell thee that supper stayeth for thee. back-No, I will not, I say:-No, thou shalt leap-a, and frisk-a, and skip-a, and bound, and bound, I say,-yea, bound within the fold of the righteous-yea, even within thy fold, my brother. Fetch me the pen and ink, Sarah-and my hand shall confess its obedience to the spirit. Col. I wish it were over. Enter Mrs PRIM, with pen and ink. Mrs Lov. I tremble lest this quaking rogue should return and spoil all. [Aside. Ob. Pr. Here, friend, do thou write what the spirit prompteth, and I will sign it. [Col. sits down. Mrs Pr. Verily, Anne, it greatly rejoiceth me to see thee reformed from that original wicked Col. I am not disposed for thy food; my spiritness wherein I found thee. longeth for more delicious meat!-Fain would I redeem this maiden from the tribe of sinners, and break those cords asunder wherewith she is bound-hum! Mrs Lov. I do believe thou art, and I thank thee. Mrs Lov. Something whispers in my ears, methinks-that I must be subject to the will of this good man, and from him only must hope for consolation-hum!-It also telleth me that I am a Col. [Reads.] "This is to certify all whom it may concern, that I do freely give all my right and title in Anne Lovely to Simon Pure, and my full consent that she shall become his wife, according to the form of marriage. Witness my hand." Enter BETTY, running to Mrs LOVELY, Betty. Oh! madam, madam, here's the quaking man again: he has brought a coachman and two or three more. Mrs Lov. Ruin'd past redemption! Aside to Colonel. Col. No, no; one minute sooner had spoil'd all; but now-Here's company coming, friend: | give me the paper. [Going up to PRIM hastily. Ob. Pr. Here it is, Simon; and I wish thee happy with the maiden. Mrs Lov. I wish thou wert so metamorphos'd. Ah! Philip, throw off that gaudy attire, and wear the clothes becoming thy age. Ob. Pr. I am asham'd to see these men. you. [Aside. Sir Phil. My age! The woman is possess'd! Col. No, thou art possess'd rather, friend. Trade. Hark ye, Mrs Lovely, one word with [Takes hold of her hand. Col. This maiden is my wife, thanks to friend Prim, and thou hast no business with her. [Takes her from him. Trade. His wife! Hark ye, Mr Freeman. Per. Why, you have made a very fine piece of Mrs Lov. 'Tis done; and now, devil, do thy work of it, Mr Prim. worst. Enter SIMON PURE and Coachman, &c. S. Pu. Look thee, friend, I have brought these people to satisfy thee that I am not that impostor which thou didst take me for:-This is the man that did drive the leathern conveniency, and brought me from Bristol-and-this is Col. Look ye, friend, to save the court the trouble of examining witnesses-I plead guiltyha, ha! Ob. Pr. How's this? Is not thy name Pure, then? Col. No, really, sir: I only made bold with this gentleman's name- -but I here give it up, safe and sound: it has done the business which I had occasion for, and now I intend to wear my own, which shall be at his service upon the same occasion at any time-Ha, ha, ha! S. Pu. Oh! the wickedness of the age! [Exit. Col. No, honest man, you may go about your business. Ob. Pr. I am struck dumb with thy impudence. -Anne, thou hast deceiv'd me—and perchance undone thyself. Mrs Pr. Thou art a dissembling baggage, and shame will overtake thee. [Exit. S. Pu. I am griev'd to see thy wife so much troubled: I will follow and console her. [Exit. Sir Phil. Married to a quaker! Thou art a fine fellow to be left guardian to an orphan, truly -There's a husband for a young lady! Col. When I have put on my beau clothes, Sir Philip, you'll like me better. Sir Phil. Thou wilt make a very scurvy beau friend. Col. I believe I can prove it, under your hand, that you thought me a very fine gentleman in the Park t'other day, about thirty-six minutes after eleven.-Will you take a pinch, Sir PhilipOne of the finest snuff-boxes you ever saw. (Offers him snuff Sir Phil. Ha, ha, ha! I'm overjoyed, faith, I am, if thou beʼst the gentleman-I own I did give my consent to the gentleman I brought here to-day ;- -but whether this is he, I cann't be positive. Ob. Pr. Canst thou not?-Now, I think thou art a fine fellow to be left guardian to an orphan. -Thou shallow-brain'd shuttlecock, he may be a pick-pocket, for aught thou dost know. Per. You would have been two rare fellows to have been trusted with the sole management of her fortune, would ye not, think ye? But Mr Tradelove and myself shall take care of her portion. Trade. Ay, ay, so we will.-Didn't you tell me the Dutch merchant desir'd me to meet him here, Mr Freeman? Free. I did so; and I'm sure he will be here, if you'll have a little patience. Col. What, is Mr Tradelove impatient? Nay, then, ik ben gereet voor you, heb be, Jan Van Timtamtirelireletta Heer Van Fainwell, vergee ten ! Trade. Oh! pox of the name!-What, have you trick'd me too, Mr Freeman? Col. Trick'd, Mr Tradelove! Did not I give you two thousand pounds for your consent fairly? And now do you tell a gentleman he has trick'd you? Per. So, so, you are a pretty guardian, faith, to sell your charge. What, did you look upon her as part of your stock? Ob. Pr. Ha! ha, ha, ha! I am glad thy knavery is found out, however I confess the maiden over-reached me, and I had no sinister end at all. |