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deed, there was more design than goodness in Sir Phil. What must it be? A whale or a rhino. the pinch'd cap.
ceros, Mr Periwinkle ? ha, ha, ha! Mr TradeMrs Pr. Go; thou are corrupted with reading love, I have a bill upon you, (Geves him u palewd plays and filthy romances -good for no- per] and have been seeking for you all over the thing but to lead youth into the high road of fornication. Ab! I wish thou art not already too Trade. I'll accept it, Sir Philip, and pay it when familiar with the wicked ones.
due. Mrs Loo Too familiar with the wicked ones! Per. He shall be none of the fops at your end Pray, no more of those freedoms, madam-I am of the town, with full perukes and empty, skulls familiar with none so wicked as yourself - How --nor yet any of your trading gentry, who puzzle dare you thus talk to me! you, you, you unwor- the heralds to find an ms for their coaches. -No, thy woman you.
(Bursts into tears. he shall be a man famous for travels, solidity, and
curiosity-one who has searched into the proEnter TRADELOVE.
fundity of nature! When Heaven shall direct such Trade. What, in tears, Nancy? What have you a one, be shall have my consent, because it may done to her, Mrs Prim, to make her weep? turn to the benefit of mankind. Mrs Lov. Done to me! I admire I keep my
Mrs Lov. The benefit of mankind! What, would senses among you ;---but I will rid myself of your you anatomize me? tyranny, if there be either law or justice to be had: Sir Phil. Ay, ay, madam he would dissect you. - I'll force you to give me up my liberty.
Trade. Or pore over you through a microscope, Mrs Pr, Thou hast more need to weep for thy to see how your blood circulates, from the crown sins, Anne,-yea, for thy manifold sins. of your head to the sole of your footha, ha!
Mrs Lov. Don't think that I'll be still the fool But I have a husband for you; a man that knows which you have made me.-No, I'll wear what I how to improve your fortune ; one that trades to pleasego when and where I please-and keep the four corners of the globe. what company I think fit, and not what you shall
Mrs Loo. And would send me for a venture direct I will.
perhaps. Trude. For my part, I do think all this very
Trade. One that will dress you in all the pride reasonable, Mrs Lovely—'tis fit you should have of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America-a Dutch your liberty, and for that very purpose I am come.
merchant, my girl.
Sir Phil. A Dutchman ! ha, ha! There's a husEnter Mr PERIWINKLE, and OBADIAH PRIM, band for a fine lady: -Ya frow, will you meet with a letter in his hand.
myn slapen-ha, ha! He'll learn you to talk the Per. I have bought some black stockings of language of the hogs, madam; ha, ha! your husband, Mrs Prim; but he tells me the Irade. He'll learn you that one merchant is glover's trade belongs to you ; therefore I pray of more service to a nation than fifty coxcombs. you look me out five or six dozen of inourning - The Dutch know the trading interest to be of gloves, such as are given at funerals, and send more benefit to the state than the landed. them to my house.
Sir Phil. But what is either interest to a lady? Ob. Pr. My friend Periwinkle has got a good
Trade. 'Tis the merchant makes the bellewind-fall to-day-seven hundred a-year.
How would the ladies sparkle in the box without Mrs Pr. I wish thee joy of it, neighbour.
the merchant? The Indian diamond ! The French Trade. What, is Sir Toby dead then?
brocade! The Italian fan ! The Flanders lace ! Per. He is !-You'll take care, Mrs Prim.
The fine Dutch holland ! How would they vent Mrs Pr. Yea, I will, neighbour.
their scandal over their tea-tables ? And where Ob. Pr. This letter recommendeth a speaker : would your beaux have Champagne, to toast their 'tis from Aminadab Holdfast of Bristol : perad- mistresses, were it not for the merchant ? venture he will be here this night; therefore, Sa.
Ob. Pr. Verily, neighbour Tradelove, thou dost rah, do thou take care for his reception.
waste thy breath about nothing—All that thou [Gives her the letter. hast said tendeth only to debauch youth, and fill Mrs Pr. I will obey thee.
(Exit. their heads with the pride and luxury of this Ob. Pr. What art thou in the dumps for, Anne? world.—The merchant is a very great friend to Trade. We must marry her, Mr Priin. Satan, and sendeth as many to his dominions as
05. Pr. Why, truly, if we could find a husband the pope. worth having, I should be as glad to see her mar Per. Right: I say knowledge makes the man. ried as thou wouldst, neighbour.
Ob. Pr. Yea, but not thy kind of knowledge Per. Well said: there are but few worth ha it is the knowledge of truth.-Search thou ving.
for the light within, and not for baubles, friend. Trade. I can recommend you a man now, that
Mrs Lov. Ah, study your country's good, Mr I think you can none of you have an objection to: Periwinkle
, and not her insects. — Rid you of
your home-bred monsters, before you fetch any Enter Sir Philip MODELOVE. from abroad1 dare swear you have maggots Per. You recommend ! Nay, whenever she enough in your own brain to stock all the virmarries, I'll recommend the husband.
tuosos in Europe with butterflies.
Sir Phil. By my soul, Miss Nancy's a wit. Mrs Lov. That's false, I'm sure. [Aside.
Ob. Pr. That is more than she can say by Ob. Pr. Wilt thou use the means, friend Pure? thee, friend.—Look ye, it is in vain to talk : When Col. Means! What means ?-Is she not tby I meet a man worthy of her, she shall have my daughter-already one of the faithful ? leave to marry him.
Mrs Pr. No, alas ! she's one of the ungodly. Mrs Lov. Provided he be of the faithful. Ob. Pr. Pray thee mind what this good man Was there ever such a swarm of caterpillars to will say unto thee: he will teach thee the way blast the hopes of a woman! [Aside.) Know this, that thou shouldst walk, Anne. that you contend in vain :-I'll have no husband Mrs Loo. I know my way without his instrucof your choosing, nor shall you lord it over me tion: I hop'd to have been quiet when once I long -I'll try the power of an English se- had put on your odious formality here. nate. -Orphans have been redress’d, and wills Col. Then thou wearest it out of compulsion, set aside,And none did ever deserve their pity not choice, friend? more.—Oh, Fainwell! where are thy promises to Mrs Lov. Thou art in the right of it, friend. free me from these vermin?- Alas! the task was Mrs Pr. Art thou not asham'd to mimic the more difficult than be imagined !
en? Ah! thou art a stubborn girl. A harder task than what the poets tell,
Col. Mind her not: she hurteth not me-If Of yore, the fair Andromeda befel :
thou wilt leave her alone with me, I will discuss She but one monster fear’d; I've four to fear, some few points with her, that may perchance And see no Perseus, no deliverer near. (Exit. soften her stubbornness, and melt her into com
pliance. Enter Servant, and whispers to PRIM.
Ob. Pr. Content. I pray thee put it home to Serv. One Simon Pure enquireth for thee. her.—Come, Sarah, let us leave the good man Per. The woman is mad.
[Exit. with her. Sir Phil. So you are all in my opinion. (Exit. Mrs Loo. (Catching hold of Prim; he breaks
Ob. Pr. Friend Tradelove, business requireth my loose, and exit.) What do you mean-to leave presence.
me with this old enthusiastical canter? Don't Trade. Oh, I sha'n't trouble you-Pox take him think, because I comply'd with your formality, to for an unmannerly dog–However, I have kept impose your ridiculous doctrine upon me. my word with my Dutchman, and will introduce Col. I pray thee, young woman, moderate thy him too, for all you.
Mrs Loo. I pray thee walk after thy leader : Enter Colonel in a Quaker's habit.
You will but lose your labour upon me. These Ob. Pr. Friend Pure, thou art welcome.—How wretches will certainly make me mad !. is it with friend Holdfast, and all friends in Bris Col. I am of another opinion :- The spirit telltol? Timothy Littleworth, John Slenderbrain, and eth me I shall convert thee, Anne. Christopher Keepfaith?
Mrs Lov. 'Tis a lying spirit : don't believe it. Col. A goodly company! (Aside.] They are all Col. Say'st thou so? Why, then, thou shalt in health, I thank thee for them.
convert me, my angel. (Catching her in his arms. Ob. Pr. Friend Holdfast writes me word that Mrs Loo. (Shrieks.] Ah ! monster, hold off, or thou camest lately from Pennsylvania :-how do I'll tear thy eyes out. all friends there?
Coh Hush! for Heaven's sake-Dost thou not Col. What the devil shall I say? I know just as know me? I am Fainwell. much of Pennsylvania as I do of Bristol. (Aside. Mrs Loo. Fainwell! (Enter old PRIM.] Oh, 06. Pr. Do they thrive?
I'm undone! Prim, here--I wish with all my Col. Yea, friend, the blessings of their good soul I had been dumb. works fall
Ob. Pr. What is the matter? Why didst thou
shriek out, Anne? Enter Mrs Prim and Mrs Lovely.
Alrs Lov. Shriek out! I'll shriek and shriek Ob. Pr. Sarah, know our friend Pure.
again, cry murder, thieves, or any thing, to drown Mrs Pr. Thou art welcome. [He salutes her. the noise of that eternal babbler, if you leave me Col. Here comes the sum of all my wishes
with him any longer. How charming she appears, even in that disguise! Ob. Pr. Was that all ? Fie, fie, Anne.
Aside. Col. No matter : I'll bring down her stomach, Ob. Pr. Why dost thou consider the maiden I'll warrant thee.-Leave us, I pray thee. so attentively, friend?
Ob. Pr. Fare thee well.
[Erit. Col. I will teil thee.--About four days ago I Col. My charming, lovely woman! saw a vision—this very maiden, but in vain attire,
(Embraces her. standing on a precipice; and heard a voice, which Mrs Lov. What mean'st thou by this disguise, called me by my name--and bid me put forth my Fainwell ? hand, and save her from the pit-_I did so,; and Col. To set thee free, if thou wilt perform thy methought the damsel grew unto my side. promise. Mrs Pr. What can that portend?
Mrs Lov. Make me mistress of my fortune, Ob. Pr. The damsel's conversion-I am per- and make thy own conditions. graded
Col. This night shall answer all my wishes.
See, here I have the consent of three of thy guar Col. Yea, that Pure which my good friend, Amidians already, and doubt not but Prim will make nadab Holdfast, wrote to my friend Prim about ; the fourth.
[PRIM listening the same Simon Pure that came from PennsylvaOb. Pr. I would gladly hear what arguments nia, and sojourned in Bristol eleven days. Thou the good man useth to bend her. [Aside. wouldst not take my name from me, wouldst thou? Mrs Lor. Thy words give me new life, me -till I have done with it.
S. Pu. Thy name! I'm astonish'd ! Ob. Pr. What do I hear?
Col. At what? At thy own assurance ? Mrs Lov. Thou best of men, Heaven meant to
(Going up to him, S. PURE starts back. bless me, sure, when I first saw thee.
S. Pu. Avaunt, Satan; approach me not: I deOb. Pr. He hath mollified her.
-Oh, won fy thee and all thy works. derful conversion!
Mis Lov. Oh, he'll outcant him—Undone, unCol. Ha ! Prim listening.—No more, my love: done for ever.
Aside. we are observed: seem to be edified, and give Col. Hark thee, friend, thy sham will not take 'em hopes that thou wilt turn quaker; and leave -Don't exert thy voice : thou art too well actbe rest to me. (Aloud.] I am glad to find that quainted with Satan to start at him, thou wicked thou art touch'd with what I said unto thee, Anne: reprobate-What can thy design be here? another time I will explain the other article unto thee: in the mean while, be thou dutiful to our Enter a Servant, and gives PRIM a letter. friend Prim.
Ob. Pr. One of these must be a counterfeit, Mrs Lov. I shall obey thee in every thing. but which I cannot say.
Col. What can that letter be? (Aside. Enter OBADIAH PRIM.
S. Pu. Thou must be the devil, friend, that's Ob. Pr. Oh, what a prodigious change is here ! certain ; for no human power can stock so great --Thou hast wrought a miracle, friend! Anne, a falsehood. how dost thou like the doctrine he hath preached? Ob. Pr. This letter sayeth that thou art better
M's Lov. So well, that I could talk to him for acquainted with that prince of darkness than any ever, methinks--I am ashamed of my former here.-Read that, I pray thee, Simon. folly, and ask your pardon, Mr Prim.
[Gives it the Col. Coi. Enough, enough, that thou art sorry : he Col. 'Tis Freeman's hand—[Reads.) “ There is no pope, Anne.
is a design formed to rob your house this night, Ob. Pr. Verily thou dost rejoice me exceed- and cut your throat; and for that purpose there ingly, friend.—Will it please thee to walk into the is a man disguised like a quaker, who is to pass next room, and refresh thyself.-Come, take the for one Simon Pure. The gang, whereof Iamone, maiden by the hand.
though now resolved to rob no more, has been at Col. We will follow thee.
Bristol : One of them came in the coach with the
quaker, whose name he hath taken, and, from Enter Seroant.
what he hath gathered from him, formed that deSero. There is another Simon Pure enquireth sign; and did not doubt but he should impose so for thee, master.
far upon you, as to make you turn out the real Col. The devil there is.
[Aside. Simon Pure, and keep him with you. Make the Ob. Pr. Another Simon Pure ! I do not know right use of this. Adieu.”—Excellent well! him-Is he any relation of thine ?
Aside. Col. No, friend; I know him not. -Pox take Ob. Pr. Dost thou hear this? [To S. PURE. him ! I wish he were in Pennsylvania again, with S. Pu. Yea, but it moveth me not : that, doubt. all my soul.
[Aside. | less, is the impostor. [Pointing at the Col. Mrs Lov. What shall I do?
(Aside. Col. Ah! thou wicked one-now I consider Ob. Pr. Bring him up.
thy face, i remember thou didst come up in the Col, Humph! Then one of us must go down, leathern conveniency with me:-Thou hadst a that's certain-Now impudence assist me. black bob wig on, and a brown camblet coat, with
brass buttons.-Canst thou deny it? ha? Enter SIMON PURE.
S. Pu. Yea, I can, and with a safe conscience Ob. Pr. What is thy will with me, friend?
too, friend. S. Pu. Didst thou not receive a letter from Ob. Pr. Verily, friend, thou art the most impuAminadab Holdfast of Bristol, concerning one
dent villain I ever saw. Simon Pure ?
Mrs Lov. Nay, then, I'll have a fling at him. Ob. Pr. Yea, and Simon Pure is already here, [Aside.] I remember the face of this fellow at friend.
Bath—Ay, this is he that pick'd my lady Raffle's Col. And Simon Pure will stay here, friend, if pocket in the Grove-Don't you remember that it be possible.
(Aside. the mob pump'd you, friend ?- This is the most S. Pu. That's an untruth, for I am he.
notorious rogue-Col. Take thou heed, friend, what thou dost S. Pu. What dost provoke thee to seek my say :-—I do affirm that I am Simon Pure. life ! - Thou wilt not hang me, wilt thou, wrong
S. Pų. Thy name may be Pure, friend, but not fully? that Pure.
Ob. Pr. She will do thee no hurt, nor thou
shalt do me none; therefore get thee about thy | chosen vessel to raise up seed to the faithful, and business, friend, and leave thy wicked course of that thou must consent that we two be one flesh, life, or thou may'st not come off so favourably according to the word-hum !
Ob. Pr. What a revelation is here? This is Col. Go, friend, I would advise thee, and tempt certainly part of thy vision, friend; this is the thy fate no more.
maiden's growing into thy side: Ab! with what S. Pu. Yea, I will go, but it shall be to thy con- willingness should I give thee my consent, could fusion ; for I shall clear myself: I will return I give thee her fortune too-but thou wilt never with some proofs that shall convince thee, Oba- get the consent of the wicked ones. diah, that thou art highly imposed upon. [Exit. Col. I wish I was sure of yours.
(Aside Col. Then there will be no staying for me, 06. Pr. My soul rejoiceth, yea, rejoiceth, I say, that's certain—What the devil shall I do? to find the spirit within thee; for lo, it moveth
(Aside. thee with natural agitatiou-yea, with natural agie Ob. Pr. What monstrous works of iniquity are tation towards this good man-yea, it stirreth, as there in this world, Simon !
one may say,-yea, verily, I say, it stirreth up thy Col. Yea, the age is full of vice.—'Sdeath! I inclination-yea, as one would stir a pudding. am so confounded, I know not what to say. Mrs Loo. I see, I see the spirit guiding of thy
(Aside. hand, good Obadiah Prim, and now behold thou Ob. Pr. Thou art disorder'd, friend-Art thou art signing thy consent;-and now I see myself not well?
within thy arms, my friend and brother; yea, I am Col. My spirit is greatly troubled, and some become bone of thy bone, and flesh of thy fleshthing telleth me, that though I have wrought a [Embracing him]—hum! good work in converting this maiden, this tender Col. Admirably performed. (Aside.) -- And I maiden, yet my labour will be in vain; for the will take thee in all spiritual love for an help-mate, evil spirit fighteth against her; and I see, yea, I yea, for the wife of my bosom ; and now me see with the eye of my inward man, that Satan thinks—I feel a longing
-yea, a longing, I will re-buffet her again, whenever I withdraw my. say, for the consummation of thy love,-yea, I do self from her; and she will, yea, this very damsel | long exceedingly. will return again to that abomination from whence Mrs Loo. And verily, verily, my spirit feeleth I have retriev'd her, as if it were, yea, as if it were the same longing. out of the jaws of the fiend.
Mrs Pr. The spirit hath greatly moved them Ob. Pr. Good lack, thinkest thou so?
both.—Friend Prim, thou must consent: there's Mrs Lov. I must second him. [Aside.] What no resisting of the spirit ! meaneth this struggling with me? I feel the spirit 06. Pr. Yea, the light within sheweth me that resisteth the vanities of this world, but the hesh I shall fight a good fight—and wrestle through is rebellious, yea, the flesh-I greatly fear the those reprobate fiends, thy other guardians ;flesh, and the weakness thereof-hum!
yea, I perceive the spirit will hedge thee into the 06. Pr. The maid is inspir’d.
flock of the righteous.-Thou art a chosen lamb Col. Behold her light begins to shine forth.-1-yea, a chosen lamb, and I will not push thee Excellent woman !
[Aside. back-No, I will not, I say:—No, thou shalt Mrs Lov. This good man hath spoken comfort leap-a, and frisk-a, and skip-a, and bound, and unto me, yea, comfort, I say; because the words bound, I say, yea, bound within the fold of the which he hath breathed into my outward ears righteous-yea, even within thy fold, my brother. are gone through, and fix'd in mine heart, yea, -Feich me the pen and ink, Sarah-and my verily, in mine heart, I say ;-and I feel the spirit hand shall confess its obedience to the spirit. doth love him exceedingly-hum!
Col. I wish it were over. Col. She acts it to the life.
Aside. Ob. Pr. Prodigious! The damsel is filled with Enter Mrs Prim, with pen and ink. the spirit-Sarah.
Mrs Loo. I tremble lest this quaking rogue should return and spoil all.
Aside. Enter Mrs PRIM.
Ob. Pr. Here, friend, do thou write what the Mrs Pr. I am greatly rejoiced to see such a spirit prompteth, and I will sign it. (Col. sits down. change in our beloved Ånne.--I came to tell thee Mrs Pr. Verily, Anne, it greatly rejoiceth me that supper stayeth for thee.
to see thee reformed from that original wicked. Col. I am not disposed for thy food; my spirit ness wherein I found thee. longeth for more delicious meat !–Fain would I Mrs Lov. I do believe thou art, and I tkank redeem this maiden from the tribe of sinners, thee. and break those cords asunder wherewith she is Col. [Reads.] “ This is to certify all whom it bound-hum !
may concern, that I do freely give all my right Mrs Lov. Something whispers in my ears, me. and title in Anne Lovely to Simon Pure, and my thinks that I must be subject to the will of this full consent that she shall become bis wife, aegood man, and from him only must hope for con- cording to the form of marriage. Witness ny solation-hum!-It also telleth me that I am a hand."
Ob. Pr. That's enough :-Give me the pen. Mrs Lov. I wish thou wert so metamorphos’d.
-Ah! Philip, throw off that gaudy attire, and
wear the clothes becoming thy age. Enter BETTY, running to Mrs Lovely,
Ob. Pr. I am asham'd to see these men. Betty. Oh! madam, madam, here's the qua
[Aside. king man again : he has brought a coachman and Sir Phil. My age ! The woman is possess'd! two or three more.
Col. No, thou art possess'd rather, friend. Mrs Lod. Ruin'd past redemption !
Trade. Hark ye, Mrs Lovely, one word with Aside to Colonel. you.
(Takes hold of her hund. Col. No, no; one minute sooner had spoil'd Col. This maiden is my wife, thanks to friend all ; but now Here's
's company coming, friend: Prim, and thou hast no business with her. give me the paper. [Going up to Prim hastily.
[Takes her from him. Ob. Pr. Here it is, Simon; and I wish thee Trade. His wife! Hark ye, Mr Freeman. happy with the maiden.
Per. Why, you have made a very fine piece of Mrs Loo. 'Tis done; and now, devil, do thy work of it, Mr Prim. worst.
. Married to a quaker! Thou art a
fme fellow to be left guardian to an orphan, truly Enter Simon PURE and Coachman, &c. - There's a husband for a young lady! S. Pu. Loo thee, friend, I have brought these Col. When I have put on my beau clothes, people to satisfy thee that I am not that impos- Sir Philip, you'll like me better. tor which thou didst take me for :- This is the Sir Phil. Thou wilt make a very scurvy beau man that did drive the leathern conveniency, and -friend. brought me from Bristol-and-this is
Col. I believe I can prove it, under your hand, Col. Look ye, friend, to save the court the that you thought me a very fine gentleman in the trouble of examining witnesses— I plead guilty~ Park t'other day, about thirty-six minutes after ha, ha!
eleven.—Will you take a pinch, Sir PhilipOb. Pr. How's this? Is not thy name Pure, One of the finest snuff-boxes you ever saw. then?
(Offirs him snuff: Col. No, really, sir : I only made bold with this Sir Phil. Ha, ha, ha! I'm overjoyed, faith, ! gentleman's name -but I here give it up, safe am, if thou be’st the gentleman-I own I did and sound : it has done the business which I had
give my consent to the gentleman I brought here occasion for, and now I intend to wear my own, to-day ; -but whether this is he, I cann't be which shall be at his service upon the same oc- positive. casion at any time-Ha, ha, ha!
Ob. Pr. Canst thou not?-Now, I think thou S. Pu. Oh! the wickedness of the age ! art a fine fellow to be left guardian to an orphan. Couch. Then you've no further need of us. - Thou shallow-brain'd shuttlecock, he may be a
[Exit. pick-pocket, for aught thou dost know. Col. No, honest man, you may go about your Per. You would have been two rare fellows business.
to have been trusted with the sole management Ob. Pr. I am struck dumb with thy impudence. of her fortune, would ye not, think ye? But Mr -Anne, thou hast deceiv’d me—and perchance | Tradelove and myself shall take care of her porundone thyself.
tion. Mrs Pr! Thou art a dissembling baggage, and Trade. Ay, ay, so we will.–Didn't you tell shame will overtake thee.
(Exit. me the Dutch merchant desir'd me to meet hini S. Pu. I am griev'd to see thy wife so much here, Mr Freeman ? troubled : I will follow and console her. (Exit. Free. I did so; and I'm sure he will be here,
if you'll have a little patience. Enter Servant.
Col. What, is Mr Tradelove impatient? Nay, Serv. Thy brother guardians enquire for thee: then, ik ben gereet voor you, heb be, Jan Van here is another man with them.
Tiintamtirelireletta Heer Van Fainwell, vergeeMrs Lov. Who can that other man be? ten!
[To the Colonel. Trade. Oh! pox of the name !-What, have Col. 'Tis one Freeman, a friend of mine, whom you trick'd me too, Mr Freeman ? I ordered to bring the rest of the guardians here. Col. Trick'd, Mr Tradelove! Did not I give
you two thousand pounds for your consent fairEnter Sir Philip, TRADELOVE, PERIWINKLE, | ly? And now do you tell a gentleman he hils and FREEMAN.
trick'd you? Free. (To the Col.] Is all safe? Did my
letter Per. So, so, you are a pretty guardian, faith, do you service?
to sell your charge. What, did you look upon Col. All, all's safe ! ample service. [ Aside. ber as part of your stock? Sir Phil. Miss Nancy, how dost do, child ? 06. Pr. Ila! ha, ha, ha! I am glad thy knave.
Mrs Lov. Don't call me miss, friend Philip: ry is found out, however-I confess the maidmy name is Anne, thou knowest.
en over-reached me, and I had no sinister end at Sir Phil. What, is the girl metamorphos'd? all,