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THE

SUSPICIOUS HUSBAND.

BY

Dr HO ADLY.

PROLOGUE.

WRITTEN BY MR GARRICK.

WHILE other culprits brave it to the last, Though disappointed authors rail and rage
Nor beg for mercy till the judgment's past ; At fancy'd parties, and a senseless age,
Poets alone, as conscious of their crimes, Yet still has justice triumph'd on the stage.
Open their trials with imploring rhymes.

Thus speaks and thinks the author of to-day,
Thus cramm'd with flattery and low submission, And, saying this, has little more to say.
Each trite dull prologue is the bard's petition. He asks no friend his partial zeal to show,
A stale device to calm the critic's fury,

Nor fears the groundless censures of a foe; And bribe at once the judges and the jury: He knows no friendship can protect the fool,

But what avail such poor repeated arts? Nor will an audience be a party's tool. The whimp’ring scribbler ne'er can touch your 'Tis inconsistent with a free-born spirit, hearts;

To side with folly, or to injure merit. Nor ought an ill-timed pity to take place By your decision he must fall or stand, Fast as they rise, destroy th' increasing race : Nor, though he feels the lash, will blame the The vermin else will run the nation o'er

hand. By saving one you breed a million more.

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MEN.
Mr STRICTLAND.
FRANKLY.
BELLAMY.
RANGER.
JACK MEGGOT.
BUCKLE.
TESTER.
Serdant to Ranger.
SIMON.

DRAMATIS PERSONA.

WOMEN.
Mrs STRICTLAND.
CLARINDA.
JACINTHA.
Lucetta.
Landlady.
Milliner.
Maid.

SCENE,-London.

ACT 1.

-and som

a wag

SCENE I.-RANGER's Chambers in the Temple. Sim. Just come, sir, and but for a little time A knocking is heard at the Door for some time;

neither; and yet I have as many messages as if when RANGER enters, having let himself in.

we were to stay the whole year round. Here

they are, all of them, [Pulls out a number of cards Ran. Oncemorelam got safe to the Temple. Let and among them one for your honour. me reflect a little. I have sat up all night: I have Ran. (Reuds.] “Clarinda's compliments to her my head full of bad wine, and the noise of oaths, cousin Ranger, and should be glad to see him for dice, and the damned tinkling of tavern bells; my ever so little a time that he can be spared from spirits jaded, and my eyes sunk in my head; and the more weighty business of the law.” Ha, ha, all this for the conversation of a company of fel. ha! the same merry girl I ever knew her. lows I despise. Their wit lies only in obscenity, Sim. My lady is never sad, sir. their mirth in noise, and their delight in a box

(Knocking at the door. and dice. Honest Ranger, take my word for it, Ran. Prythee, Simon, open the door. thou art a mighty silly fellow.

Enter Milliner.
Enter a Servant with a wig dressed.

Well, child—and who are you? Where have you been, rascal? If I had not had Mil. Sir, my mistress gives her service to you, the key in my pocket, I must have waited at the and has sent you home the linen you bespoke. door in this dainty dress.

Ran. Well, Simon, my service to your lady, Sero. I was only below combing out your ho. and let her know I will most certainly wait upon nour's wig.

hier. I am a little busy, SimonRan. Well, give me my cap:-(Pulling off his Sim. Ah, you're a wag, Master Ranger, you're wig:] Why, how like a raking dog do you look,

but mum for that.

[Exit

. compared to that spruce, sober gentleman! Go, Ran. I swear, my dear, you have the prettiest you battered devil, and be made fit to be seen. pair of eyes -the loveliest pouting lips-106 [Throwing his wig to the Servant.

ver saw you

before. Sero. Cod, my master's very merry this morn Mil. No, sir ! I was always in the shop. ing.

[Erit. Ran. Were you so? Well, and what does your Ran. And now for the law. (Sits down and reads. mistress say?The devil fetch me, child, you “ Tell me no more, I am deceived,

look'd so prettily, that I could not mind one word That Chloe's false and common; By heav'n, I all along believed,

Mil. Lord, sir, you are such another gentleman! She was a very woman.

Why she says, she is sorry she could not send As such I liked, as such caress’d;

them sooner. Shall I lay thein down? She still was constant when possess'd: Ran. No, child. Give 'em to meShe could do more for no man.”

tle smiling angel

(Catches and kisses her. Honest Congreve was a man after my own heart. Mil. I beg, sir, you would be civil.

Ran. Civil! 'egad, I think I am very civil. Serounts pass over the Stage.

(Kisses her ugain. Have

you been for the money this morning, as I ordered you?

Enter a Servant, und BELLAMY. Sero. No, sir. You bade me go before you was Sero. Sir, Mr Bellamy. up; I did not know your honour meant before Run. Damn your impertinence !-Oh, Mr Belo you went to bed.

lamy, your servant. Ran. None of your jokes, I pray; but to busi Mil. What shall I say to my mistress? ness. Go to the coffee-house, and inquire if there Ran. Bid her make half a dozen more; but he has been any letter or message left for me. sure you bring them home yourself. [Esir Milo Sero. I shall, sir.

liner.) Pshaw! Pox! Mr Bellamy, how should Ran. (Repeats.)

you like to be served so yourself? “ You think she's false, I'm sure she's kind, Bel. How can you, Ranger, for a minute's pleaI take her body, you her mind;

sure, give an innocent girl the pain of heart I am Which has the better bargain ?"

confident she felt? There was a modest blush Oh, that I had such a soft, deceitful fair, to lull upon her cheek convinces me she is honest. my senses to their desired sleep. [Knocking at Ran. May be so. I was resolved to try, hoxe the door.) Come in.

you not interrupted the experiment.

Bel. Fie, Ranger ! will you never think?
Enter Simon.
Ran. Yes, but I cann't be always a thinking

, Oh, Master Simon, is it you? How long have you The law is a damnable dry study, Mr Bellany, been in town?

and without something now and then to amuse

you said.

-Dear lit

ever, had

and relax, it would be too much for my brain, I | enough to be always easy, and good-nature enough promise ye -But I am a mighty sober fellow to like me, I will immediately put it to the trial, grown. Here have I been at it these three hours, which of us shall have the greatest share of hapbut the wenches will never let me alone. piness from the sex, you or I.

Bel. Three hours! Why, do you usually study Ran. By marrying her, I suppose ! Capable of in such shoes and stockings?

friendship, love, and tenderness! ha, ha, ha! that Ran. Rat your inquisitive eyes ! Ex pede Her man of your sense should talk so. If she be culem. 'Egad, you have me. The truth is, I am capable of love, 'tis all I require of my mistress; but this moment return’d from the tavern. What, and as every woman, who is young, is capable of Frankly here too!

love, I am very reasonably in love with every

young woman I meet. My lord Coke, in a case Enter FRANKLY.

I read this morning, speaks my sense. Frank. My boy, Ranger, I am heartily glad to Both. My Lord Coke! see you; Bellamy, let me embrace you ; you are Ran. Yes, my Lord Coke. What he says of the person I want ; I have been at your lodgings, one woman I say of the whole sex; “ I take their and was directed hither.

bodies, you their mind! which has the better barRan. It is to him then I am obliged for this gain ?" visit : but with all my heart. He is the only man Frank. There is no arguing with so great a to whom I don't care how much I am obliged. lawyer. Suppose, therefore, we adjourn the deBel. Your humble servant, sir.

bate to some other time. I have some serious Frank. You know, Ranger, I want no induce- business with Mr Bellamy, and you want sleep, I ment to be with you. But -you look sadlyam sure. What—no merciless jade has -has she?

Ran. Sleep! mere loss of time and hindrance Ran. No, no; sound as a roach, my lad. I of business - We men of spirit, sir, are above it. only got a little too much liquor last night, which Bel. Whither shall we go? I have not slept off yet.

Frank. Into the Park. My chariot is at the door. Bel. Thus, Frankly, it is every day. All the Bel. Then if my servant calls, you'll send him morning his head achs; at noon he begins to clear after us.

(Exeunt. up; towards evening he is good company; and all Ran. I will. [Looking on the card.] Clarinda's night he is carefully providing for the same course compliments>A pox on this head of mine; never the next day.

once to ask where she was to be found. It's Run. Why, I must own, my ghostly father, I plain she is not one of us, or I should not have did relapse a little last night, just to furnish out a been so remiss in my inquiries: No matter ; I decent confession for the day.

shall meet her in my walks. Frank. And he is now doing penance for it.Were you his confessor, indeed, you could not

Servant enters. well desire more.

Sero. There is no letter nor message, sir. Ran. Charles, he sets up for a confessor with

Ran. Then my things, to dress. the worst grace in the world. Here has he been “ I take her body, you her mind; which has the reproving me for being but decently civil to my better bargain?”

(Exeunt. milliner. Plague! because the coldness of his constitution makes him insensible of a fine wo

SCENE II.- A Chamber. man's charms, every body else must be so too.

Bel. I am no less sensible of their charms than Enter Mrs STRICTLAND and JACINTHA meeting. you are, though I cannot kiss every woman I meet, Ars Str. Good-morrow, my dear Jacintha. or fall in love, as you call it, with every face which Jac. Good-morrow to you, madam. I have has the bloom of youth upon it. I would only brought my work, and intend to sit with you this have you a little more frugal of your pleasures. morning. I hope you have got the better of your Frank. My dear friend, this is very pretty talk fatigue. Where is Clarinda

? I should be glad if ing! But let me tell you, it is in the power of the she would come and work with us. very first glance from a fine woman utterly to dis Mrs Str. She work ! she is too fine a lady to concert all your philosophy.

do any thing. She is not stirring yet--we must Bel. It must be from a fine woman then, and let her have her rest. People of her waste of not such as are generally reputed so. And it must spirits require more time to recruit again. be a thorough acquaintance with her too, that Jac. It is pity she should be ever tired with will ever make an impression on my heart. what is so agreeable to every body else. I am pro

Ran. Would I could see it once ! For when digiously pleased with her company. a man has been all his life hoarding up a stock, Mrs Str. And when you are better acquainted, without allowing himself common necessaries, it you will be still more pleased with her. You must tickles me to the soul to see him lay it all out rally her upon her partner at Bath; for I fancy part upon a wrong bottom, and become bankrupt at of her rest has been disturbed on his account. last.

Juc. Was he really a pretty fellow ? Bel. Well, I don't care how soon you see it. Mrs Str. That I cann't tell ; I did not dance For the minute I find a woman capable of friend myself, and so did not much mind him. You must ship, love, and tenderness, with good sense have the whole story from herself,

3

over.

Jac. Oh, I warrant ye, I get it all out. None | asking me for money this morning. In plain terms, are so proper to make discoveries in love, as those not one shilling shall pass through these fingers, who are in the secret themselves.

till you have cleared my house of this Clarinda

. Mrs Str. How can her innocent gaiety have of Enter LUCETTA.

fended you? she is a woman of honour, and has Luc. Madam, Mr Strictland is inquiring for you. as many good qualitiesHere has been Mr Buckle with a letter from his Str. As women of honour generally have. I master, which has made him very angry.

know it, and therefore am uneasy. Jac. Mr Bellamy said, indeed, he would try him Mrs Str. But, sironce more, but I fear it will prove in vain. Tell Str. But, madam -Clarinda, nor e'er a rake your master I am here. (Exit LucETTA.) What of fashion in England, shall live in my family to signifies fortune, when it only makes us slaves to debauch it. other people?

Mrs Str. Sir, she treated me with so much dMrs Str. Do not be uneasy, my Jacintha. You vility in the country, that I thought I could not shall always find a friend in me: but as for Mr do less than invite her to spend as mach time Strictland, I know not what ill temper hangs about with me in town as her engagements would permit. him lately. Nothing satisfies him. You saw how I little imagined you could have been displeased he received us when we came off our journey. at my having so agreeable a companion. Though Clarinda was so good company, he was

Str. There was a time when I was company barely civil to her, and downright rude to me. enough for leisure hours.

Juc. I cannot help saying, I did observe it. Mrs Str. There was a time when every Word Mrs Str. I saw you did. Hush ! he's here. of mine was sure of meeting with a smile; but

those happy days, I know not why, have long been Enter Mr STRICTLAND. Str. Oh, your servant, madam : Here, I have Str. I cannot bear a rival, even of your own received a letter from Mr Bellamy, wherein he de sex. I hate the very name of female friends. No sires I would once more hear what he has to say. two of you can ever be an hour by yourselves, You know my sentiments ; nay, so does he. but one or both are the worse for it.

Jac. For Heaven's sake, consider, sir, this is Mrs Str, Dear Mr Strictlandno new affair, no sudden start of passion; we have Str. This I know, and will not suffer. known each other long. My father valued and Mrs Str. It grieves me, sir, to see you so much loved him, and I am sure, were he alive, I should in earnest : but, to convince you how willing I am have his consent.

to make you easy in every thing, it shall be my Str. Don't tell me. Your father would not request to her to remove immediately. have you marry against bis will ; neither will i

Str. Do it - hark ye

-your request?against mine: I am your father now.

Why yours? 'tis mine—my command — tell her Jac. And you take a fatherly care of me. so. I will be master of my own family, and I care Sir. I wish I had never had any thing to do not who knows it.

Mrs Str. You fright me, sir But it shall be Juc. You may easily get rid of the trouble. as you please. (In tears.]

(Goes oat. Str. By listening, I suppose, to the young gen Str. Ha! have I gone too far? I am not tleman's proposals.

master of myself. Mrs Strictland, [She returns Juc. Which are very reasonable, in my opinion. understand me right: I do not mean, by what

Str. Oh, very modest ones truly; and a very I have said, that I suspect your innocence, but, by modest gentleman he is that proposes them! A crushing this growing friendship all at once, I may fool, to expect a lady of thirty thousand pounds prevent a train of mischief which you do not forefortune should, by the care and prudence of her I was, perhaps, too rash, therefore do it in guardian, be thrown away upon a young fellow your own way: but let me see the house fairly rid not worth three hundred a-year. He thinks be- of her.

(Exit STRICT. ing in love is an excuse for this; but I am not in Mrs Str. His earnestness in this affair amazes love: what does he think will excuse me? me; I am sorry I made this visit to Clarinda ; and

Mrs Str. Well, but, Mr Strictland, I think the yet I'll answer for her honour. What can I say gentleman should be heard.

to her ? Necessity must plead in my excuse—for Str. Well, well, seven o'clock is the time, at all events Mr Strictland must be obeyed. and if the man bas had the good fortune, since I

(Esit. saw him last, to persuade somebody or other to give him a better estate, I give him my consent,

SCENE III.-St James's Park, not else. His servant waits below : you may tell

Enter BELLAMY and FRANKLY. him I shall be at home. (Exit Jac.) But where is your friend, your other half, all this while ? I

Frank. Now, Bellamy, I may unfold the secret thought you could not have breathed a minute of my heart to you with greater freedom; for without

your
Clarinda.

though Ranger has honour, I am not in a humour Mrs Štr. Why, the truth is, I was going to see to be laugh'd at. I must have one that will bear what makes her keep her chamber so long. with my impertinence, sooth me into hope, and, . Str. Look ye, Mrs Strictland, you have been like a friend indeed, with tenderness advise me.

with you.

see.

Bel. I thought you appeared more grave than | Frankly! thou art grown a mere antique since I usual.

saw thee. How hast thou done these five hunFrank. Oh, Bellamy ! my soul is so full of joy, dred years ? of pain, hope, despair, and ecstasy, that no word Frank. Even as you see me; well, and at your but love is capable of expressing what I feel.

service ever. Bet. Is love the secret Ranger is not fit to hear? J. Meg. Ha! who's that? In my mind, he would prove the more able coun Frank. A friend of mine. Mr Bellamy, this is sellor. And is all the gay indifference of my friend Jack Meggot, sir, as honest a fellow as any in life. at last reduced to love?

J. Meg. Pho! pr’ythee! pox ! CharlesFrunk. Even so. Never was a prude more reso Don't be silly Sir, I am your humble; any lute in chastity and ill-nature, than I was fixed in one who is a friend of my Frankly's, I am proud indifference: but love has raised me from t..at in- of embracing. active state above the being of a man.

Bel. Sir, I shall endeavour to deserve your ciBel. Faith, Charles, I begin to think it has: but | vility. pray bring this rapture into order a little, and tell J. Meg. Oh, sir! –Well, Charles ; what, dumb ? me regularly, how, where, and when.

Come, come: you may talk, though you have no. Frank. If I was not most unreasonably in love, thing to say, as I do. Let us hear, where have you those horrid questions would stop my mouth at

been? once ; but I am armed against reason-1 answer Frank. Why, for this last week, Jack, I have been at Bath, on Tuesday, she danced and caught me. at Bath.

Bel. Danced ! -and was that all ? But who J. Meg. Bath! the most ridiculous place in life! is she? what is her name? her fortune? where amongst tradesmen's wives that hate their husdoes she live?

bands, and people of quality that had rather go to Frank. Hold ! hold! not so many hard ques. the devil than stay at home. People of no taste; tions. Have a little mercy. I know but little of no goust ; and for divertimenti, if it were not for her, that's certain; but all I do know, you shall the puppet-show, la vertu would be dead amongst have. That evening was the first of her appear-them. But the news, Charles; the ladies—I fcar ing at Bath; the moment I saw her, I resolved to your time hung heavy on your hands, by the small ask the favour of her hand; but the easy freedom

stay you made there. with which she gave it, and her unaffected good Frunk. Faith, and so it did, Jack; the ladies are : humour during the whole night, gained such a grown such idiots in love, the cards have so depower over my heart, as none of her sex could bauched their five senses, that love, almighty love ever boast before. I waited on her home, and the himself is utterly neglected. next morning, when I went to pay the usual com J. Meg. It is the strangest thing in life, but it pliments, the bird was flown; she had set out for is just so with us abroad. Faith, Charles, to tell London two hours before, and in a chariot and you a secret, which I don't care if all the world six, you rogue!

knows, I am almost surfeited with the services of Bel. But was it her own, Charles ?

the ladies; the modest ones I mean. The vast Frank. That I don't know; but it looks better variety of duties they expect, as dressing up to the than being dragg’d to town in the stage. That i fashion, losing fashionably, keeping fashionable day and the next I spent in inquiries. I waited hours, drinking fashionable liquors, and fifty other on the ladies who came with her; they knew no such irregular niceties, so ruin a man's pocket and thing of her. So, without learning either her constitution, that 'foregad, he must have the esname or fortune, I e'en callid for my boots, and tate of a duke, and the strength of a gondolier, rode post after her.

who would list himself into their service. Bel. And how do you find yourself after your

Frank. A free confession truly, Jack, for one of journey? Frank. Why, as yet, I own, I am but op a cold

Bel. The ladies are obliged to you. scent: but a woman of her sprightliness and gen. tility cannot but frequent all public places; and

Enler BUCKLE, with a letter to BELLAMY. when once she is found, the pleasure of the chace J. Meg. Oh, Lard, Charles ! I have had the will overpay the pains of rousing her. Oh, Bel- greatest misfortune in life since I saw you; poor lamy ! there was something peculiarly charming Otho, that I brought from Rome with nie, is dead in her, that seemed to claim my further acquaint Frank. Well, well, get you another, and all will apce; and if in the other more familiar parts of be well again. life she shines with that superior lustre, and at J. Meg. No; the rogue broke me so much last I win her to my arms, how shall I bless my china, and gnawed my Spanish leather shoes so resolution in pursuing her!

filthily, that, when he was dead, I began not to enBel

. But if at last she should prove unworthy— dure him. Frank. I would endeavour to forget her. Bel. Exactly at seven! run back, and assure him Bel

. Promise me that, Charles, (Tukes his hand.) I will not fail. [Exit BUCKLE] Dead ! Pray, who and I allow But we are interrupted.

was the gentleman?

J. Meg. This gentleman was my monkey, sir ; Enter JACK MEGGOT.

an odd sort of a fellow that used to divert me, and J. Meg. Whom have we here? My old friend pleased every body so at Rome, that he always VOL. IV.

2 A

your coat.

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