Love. The world will talk, Sir Bashful. Sir Bash. Too fast, Mr Lovemore, Their tongues will run on, and one does not like to give them a subject. I answered her stoutly: Madam,| says I, a fig for your quality: I am master in my own house, and who do you think-[Winks at LOVEMORE.] putting myself in a passion, you know-Who do you think is to pay for your cats and your dogs, and your monkeys, and your squir-❘ rels, and your gaming debts?

Love. How could you? That was sharply said. Sir Bash. Yes; I gave it her, But for all that I am main good-natured at the bottom.

Love. You was not earnest then?

Sir Bash. No, no; that's the point; a man must keep up his own dignity. I'll tell you what

I did.

Sir Bash. I hope you'll think so.-Don't laugh -Come, I will tell you. I went to her mercer slily, and paid him, the money. [Smiling. Love. Did you?

Sir Bash. [Looking alarmed.] Was it not right? Love. It was elegant.

Sir Bash. I am glad you approve. I took care to save appearances. One would not have the world know it.

Love. By no means.

Sir Bash. It would make them think me too uxorious.

Love. So it would-[Aside.] I must encourage that notion. While you live, guard against being too uxorious. Though our wives deserve our fondness, the world will laugh at us ;—and, hark ye, if our wives don't deserve it, they'll laugh at us the more,

Sir Bash, I know it. And so, says I, Mr Lutestring, there's your money, but tell no body that I paid it slily.

Love. Why, that's doing a genteel thing by stratagem.-Admirably contrived!

Sir Bush. I think it was. But I have a deeper secret for you.

Love. Have you?

Sir Bush. I have.-May I trust you? Love. Now there you hurt me. I feel that, Sir Bashful.

Sir Bash. I beg your pardon. I know you are my friend. I have great confidence in you. You must know-look ye, Mr Lovemore--you must know

ble.

Love. Nay, that's unkind. It will be no trou

Sir Bash. Well, well, I-I-Do you think Muslin did not overhear us?

Love. Not a syllable. Come, we are safe. Sir Bash. I don't know but-let me ask you a question first.—Have you any regard for your lady?

Love. The highest value for her. But then you know appearances

Sir Bash. Right! I repose it with you.-You must know, Mr Lovemore, as I told you, I am at the bottom very good-natured, and though it may be thought we are interrupted again.

Enter Sir BRILLIANT.

Sir Bril. Lovemore, I have paid my visit.
Love. Pshaw!-this is unlucky-
-You are as

good as your word, Sir Brilliant.

Sir Bril. Perhaps you have business?

Sir Bash. No, no business-[Turns to LOVEMORE.] there's no proceeding now-I was going too, Sir Brilliant. Mr Lovemore, I wish you a good day.

Love. Po! Pr'ythee, you sha'n't leave me yet. Sir Bash. I must; I cann't stay. [Aside to LOVEMORE.] Another time. Suppose you call at my house at one o'clock.

Love. With all my heart.

Sir Bash. Do so; nobody shall interrupt us.Mr Lovemore, I take my leave. Sir Brilliant, I kiss your hand. You won't forget, Mr Love more?

Love. Oh! no; depend upon me.

Sir Bash. A good morning. He is the only friend I have. [Exit. Love. Ha, ha! you broke in in the most critical moment. He was just going to be delivered of his secret.

Sir Bril. I beg your pardon. How could you let me ?

Love. Nay, no matter. I shall worm it out of

him.

Enter MUSLIN.

Mus. My lady, sir, is quite impatient. Love. Po! for ever teasing! I'll wait upon her presently. Exit MOSLIN. Sir Bril. I'll step and chat with her while you dress. May I take the liberty?

Mrs Love. Well, Muslin, have you seen his prime minister?

He

Mus. Yes, ma'am, I have seen Mr William.says his master is going out, according to the old trade, and he does not expect to see him again till to-morrow morning. Mr Lovemore is now in the study. Sir Brilliant Fashion is with him: I heard them, as I passed by the door, laughing as loud as two actors in a comedy.

Mrs Love. About some precious mischief, I'll be sworn, and all at my cost. Heigho! Mus. Dear ma'am, why chagrin yourself about a vile man, that is not worth-no, as I hope for mercy, not worth a single sigh?

Mrs Love. What can I do, Muslin ? Mus. Do, ma'am !—if I was as you, I'd do for him. If I could not cure my grief, I'd find some comfort, that's what I would.

me.

Mrs Love. Comfort! alas! there is none for

Mus. And whose fault then? Would any body but you It provokes me to think of itWould any but you,-young, handsome, with wit, graces, talents,would any body, with so many accomplishments, sit at home here as melancholy as a poor servant out of place?-And all for what? For a husband! And such a husband!What do you think the world will say of you, ma'am?

Mrs Love. I care not what they say, I am tired of the world, and the world may be tired of me, if it will. My troubles are to myself only, and I must endeavour to bear them. Who knows what patience may do? If Mr Lovemore has any feeling left, my conduct and his own heart may one day incline him to do me justice.

Mus. But, dear ma'am, that's waiting for dead men's shoes. Incline him to do you justice! What signifies expecting and expecting? Give me a bird in the hand. If all the women in London, who happen to be in your case, were to sit down and die of the spleen, what would become of the public places? They might turn Vauxhall to a hopgarden; make a brewhouse of Ranelagh, and let both the playhouses to a methodist-preacher. We

should not have the racketting we have now. John, let the horses be put to- -John, go to my Lady Trumpabout, and invite her to a small party of twenty or thirty card tables.John, run to my Lady Catgut, and let her know I'll wait upon her ladyship to the opera.-John, run as fast as ever you can, with my compliments to Mr Varney, and tell him it will be the death of me, if I have not a box for the new play. Lord bless you, ma'am, they rantipole it about this town, with as unconcerned looks, and as florid outsides, as if they were treated at home like so many goddesses; though every body knows possession has ungoddessed them all long ago, and their husbands care no more for them, no, by jingo, no more than they care for their husbands.

Mrs Love. At what a rate you run on! Mus. It is enough to make a body run on. If every body thought like you, ma'am Mrs Love. If every body loved like me! Mus. A brass thimble for love, if it is not re turned by love. What the deuce is here to do? Love for love is something: but to love alone, where's the good of that? Shall I go and fix my heart upon a man, who shall despise me for that very reason? And ay, says he, poor fool! I see she adores me. The woman is well enough, only she has one inconvenient circumstance about her; I am married to her, and marriage is the devil.' Mrs Love. Will you have done?

Mus. I have not half done, maʼam. And when the vile man goes a roguing, he smiles impudently in your face, and I am going to the chocolate house, my dear; amuse yourself in the meantime, my love." Fye upon 'em! I know 'em all. Give me a husband that will enlarge the circle of my innocent pleasures: but a husband now-a-days is no such thing. A husband now is nothing but a scare-crow, to shew you the fruit, but touch it if you dare. The devil's in 'em, the Lord forgive me for swearing! A husband is a mere bugbear, a snap-dragon, a monster; that is to say, if one makes him so, then he is a monster indeed; and if one do not make him so, then he behaves like a monster; and of the two evils, by my troth— But here, ma'am, here comes one who can tell you all about it. Here comes Sir Brilliant: ask his advice, ma'am.

Mrs Love. His advice?——Ask advice of the man, who has estranged Mr Lovemore's affections from me?

Mus. Well, I protest and vow, I think Sir Bril liant a very pretty gentleman. He is the very pink of the fashion. He dresses fashionably, lives fa shionably, wins your money fashionably, loses his own fashionably, and does every thing fashionably; and then he looks so lively, and so much to say, and so never at a loss !- -but here he comes.

Enter Sir BRILLIANT. Sir Bril. Mrs Lovemore, my dear ma'am, always in a vis-a-vis party with your suivante?— Afford me your pardon, if I say this does a little wear the appearance of being out of humour with the world.

Mrs Love. Far from it, Sir Brilliant. We were gaged in your panegyric.

Sir Bril. My panegyric? Then am I come most propos to give the portrait a few finishing touches. Ir Lovemore, as soon as he is dressed, will wait Don you: in the meantime, I can help you to me anecdotes, which will enable you to colour our canvass a little higher.

Mrs Love. Among those anecdotes, I hope you ill not omit the bright exploit of seducing Mr ovemore from all domestic happiness.

[She makes a sign to MUSLIN to go. Sir Bril. I, madam ?-Let me perish if everMrs Love. Oh! sir, I can make my observa

ons.

Sir Bril. May fortune eternally forsake me, and eauty frown on me, if I am conscious of any ot upon earth.

Mrs Love. Don't assert too strongly, Sir Bril

ant.

Sir Bril. May I never throw a winning castMrs Love. It is in vain to deny it, sir. Sir Bril. May I lose the next sweepstakes, if I ave ever, in thought, word, or deed, been accesry to his infidelity. I alienate the affections of Ir Lovemore! Consider, madam, how would this ell in Westminster Hall? Sir Brilliant Fashion, hat say you? Guilty of this indictment or not uilty? Not guilty, poss. Thus issue is joined. ou enter the court: but, my dear madam, veil hose graces that adorn your person: abate the re of those charms: so much beauty will corupt the judges: give me a fair trial.

Mrs Love. And thus you think to laugh it away. Sir Bril. Nay, hear me out. You appear in ourt: you charge the whole upon me, without a yllable as to the how, when, and where: no proof ositive; the prosecution ends, and I begin my efence.

Mrs Love. And by playing these false colours, ou think I am to be amused?

Sir Bril. Nay, Mrs Lovemore, I am now upon ny defence. Only hear.-You will please to conider, gentlemen of the jury, that Mr Lovemore s not a minor, nor I his guardian. He loves gaiety, leasure, and enjoyment: is it my fault? He is possessed of talents and a taste for pleasure, which he knows how to gratify: can I restrain him? He knows the world, makes the most of life, and plucks the fruit that grows around him: am I to blame? This is the whole affair.-How say you, gentlemen of the jury?-Not guilty. There, you see how it is. I have cleared myself.

Mrs Love. Brisk, lively, and like yourself, Sir Brilliant! But if you can imagine this bantering

way

Sir Bril. Acquitted by my country, ma'am ; fairly acquitted.

Mrs Love. After the very edifying counsel which you give to Mr Lovemore, this loose strain is not in the least surprising. And, sir, your late projectSir Bril. My late project!

Mrs Love. Your late project, sir. Not content with leading Mr Lovemore into a thousand scenes of dissipation, you have introduced him lately to

your mistress Bellmour. You understand me, sir. Sir Bril. Ma'am, he does not so much as know the Widow Bellmour.

Mrs Love. Nay, Sir Brilliant, have a care; justify it if you can, or give it a turn of wit. There is no occasion to hazard yourself too far.

Sir Bril. Falsehood I disdain, madam, and I, Sir Brilliant Fashion, declare, that Mr Lovemore is not acquainted with the Widow Bellmour. And if he was, what then? Do you know the lady? Mrs Love. I know her, sir? A person of that character?

Sir Bril. Oh!-I see you don't know her; but I will let you into her history.-Pray be seatedyou shall know her whole history, and then judge for yourself. The Widow Bellmour, madam—

Love. [Within.] William, are the horses put to? Sir Bril. We are interrupted.

Enter LOVEMORE.

Love. Very well: let the carriage be brought round directly. How do you do, my dear?-Sir Brilliant, I beg you pardon. My love, you don't answer me: how do you do this morning?

[With an air of cold civility. Mrs Love. A little indisposed in mind: but indisposition of the mind is of no consequence : nobody pities it.

Love. I beg your pardon, Mrs Lovemore. Indisposition of the mind-Sir Brilliant, that's a mighty pretty ring on your finger.

Sir Bril. A bauble: will you look at it? [Gives the ring. Mrs Love. Though I have but few obligations to Sir Brilliant, I suppose I am to ascribe to him the favour of this visit, Mr Lovemore.

Love. [Looking at the ring, and laughing.] Now there you wrong me.-Your inquiries about my health have been very obliging this morning, and I came to return the compliment before I got out. It is set very neatly. [Gives back the ring. Mrs Love. Are you going out, sir?

Love. A matter of business-How I do hate business!-But business, [Examining his ruffles] business must be done.-Pray is there any news? -Any news, my dear?

Mrs Love. It would be news to me, sir, if you would be kind enough to let me know whether I may expect the favour of your company at dinner to-day.

Love. It would be impertinent in me to answer such a question, for I can give no direct answer to it. I am the slave of events; just as things happen; perhaps I may; perhaps not. But don't let me be of any inconvenience to you. Is it material where a body eats?-Have you heard what happened to me? [Aside to Sir BRILLIANT.

Sir Bril. When and where?

Love. A word in your ear-with your permission, ma'am?

Mrs Love. That cold, contemptuous civility, Mr Lovemore

Love. Po! pr'ythee now, how can you?—that is very peevish, and very ill-natured. [Turning to Sir BRIL. I lost every thing I played for after

you went. The foreigner and he understand one another. I beg your pardon, Mrs Lovemore: it was only about an affair at the opera. Mrs Love. The opera, or any thing, is more agreeable than my company.

Love. Now there again you wrong me. [To Sir BRILLIANT.] We dine at the St Alban's. How can you, Mrs Lovemore? I make it a point not to incommode you. You possibly may have some private party; and it would be unpolite in me to obstruct your schemes of pleasure. Would not it, Sir Brilliant ?

Sir Bril. Oh!-Gothic to the last degree! Love. Very true; vulgar and mechanic! [Both stand laughing.

Mrs Love. Go on; make sport for yourselves, gentlemen.

Love. Ho! ho! ho! I am sore with laughing. If you, madım, have arranged an agreeable party, for me to be present, it would look as if we lived together like Sir Bashful Constant and his lady; who are always, like two game-cocks, ready armed to goad and spur one another. Hey! Sir Brilliant?

Sir Bril. Oh! the very thing: or like Sir Theodore Traffic at Tunbridge, taking his wife under the arm in the public rooms, and come along home, I tell you.'

Love. Exactly so. [Both continue laughing.] Odds my life! I shall be beyond my time. [Looks at his watch.] Any commands into the city, my dear?

Mrs Love. Commands !-no, sir, I have no commands.

Love. I have an appointment at my banker's, Sir Brilliant, you know old Discount?

Sir Bril. He that was in parliament, and had the large contract?

Love. The same: Entire Butt, I think, was the name of his borough. Can I set you down?

Sir Bril. No, my carriage waits. I shall rattle half the town over presently.

Love. As you will. Sir Brilliant will entertain you, ma'am. Au revoir, my love. Sir Brilliant, yours. Who waits there?" [Exit singing. Sir Bril. Bon voyage. You see, madam, that I don't deprive you of his company,

Mrs Love. Your influence is now unnecessary. It is grown habitual to him: he will drive to your Mrs Bellmour, I suppose.

Sir Bril. Apropos; that brings us back to the little history I was going to give you of that lady. What is your charge against her? That she is amiable? Granted. Young, gay, rich, handsome, with enchanting talents, it is no wonder all the pretty fellows are on their knees to her. Her manner so entertaining! that quickness of transition from one thing to another! that round of variety! and every new attitude does so become her; and she has such a feeling heart, and, with an air of giddiness, so nice a conduct!

Mrs Love, Mighty well, sir: she is a very vestal. Finish your portrait. A vestal from your school of painting must be a curiosity. But how

comes it, sir, if she is this wonder, that your honourable proposals are at an end there?

Sir Bril. Compulsion, ma'am: it is not volu tary. My Lord Etheridge is the happy man. I thought he was out of the kingdom; but his lordship is with her every evening. I can scarce gain admittance; and so all that remains for me, is to do justice to the lady, and console myself in the best way I can for the insufficiency of my pretensions.

Mrs Love. Am I to believe all this?

Sir Bril. May the first woman I pay my ad dresses to, strike me to the centre with a supercilious eyebrow, if every syllable is not minute true. So that, you see, I am not the cause of your inquietude. There is not in the world a person, who more earnestly aspires to prove the tender esteem he bears you. I have long panted for a opportunity-by all that's soft, she listens to me! [Aside.]—I have long panted, maʼam, for a tender moment like this

Mrs Love. [Looking gravely at him.] Sir! Sir Bril. I have panted with all the ardour which charms like yours must kindle in every heart!—

Mrs Love. [Walks away.] This liberty, sirSir Bril. Consider, madam: we have both case of discontent; both disappointed; both crosse in love; and the least we can do is both to join and sweeten each other's cares.

left

Mrs Love. And your friend, sir, who has just you

-

Sir Bril. He, madam, for a long time-I have seen it, with vexation seen it, yes, he has long been false to honour, love, and you.

Mrs Love. Sir Brilliant, I have done. You tak my wrongs too much to heart, sir. [Rings a be Sir Bril. Those eyes that tell us what the s is made of, those hills of driven snow! Mrs Love. Will nobody answer there?

Enter MUSLIN.

Sir Bril. Madam, I desist: when you are in better humour, recollect what I have said. You adorer takes his leave.-Sir Brilliant, mind you hits, and her strait-laced virtue will surrender at last.-Madam- [Bows respectfully. Exh

Mus. As I live and breathe, maʼam, if I wa as you, I would not fluster myself about it. Mrs Love. About what?

Mus. What signifies mincing the matter?! heard it all.

Mrs Love. You did, did you? [Looks angrily. Mus. Ma'am?

Mrs Love. Impertinence! [Walks about.] Oh! Mr Lovemore! To make his character public, and render him the topic of every tea-table through out this town! I must avoid that.

Mus. What the deuce is here to do?-An mannerly thing, for to go for to huff me in th manner! [Aside

Mrs Love. That would only widen the breach, and instead of neglect, might call forth resent ment, and settle at last into a fixed aversion

lawyers, parting, and separate maintenance! What must be done?

Mus. What is she thinking of now?-A sulky thing, not to be more familiar with such a friend as I am. Did you speak to me, ma'am?

Mrs Love. It may succeed; suppose I try it.

Muslin.

Mus. Ma'am.

[Running to her. Mrs Love. You heard Sir Brilliant say that Mr Lovemore is not acquainted with the widow? Mus. Lard, ma'am, he's as full of tricks as a French milliner. I know he does visit there: I know it from William. I'll be hanged in my own garters, if he does not.

Mrs Love. I know not what to do. Let my chair be got ready.

Mus Your chair, ma'am !-Are you going out? Mrs Love. Let me hear no more questions: do as I order you. [Exit. Mus. Which way is the wind now? No matter; she does not know what she'd be at. If she

would but take my advice,—go abroad, visit every where, see the world, throw open her doors, give balls, assemblies, concerts; sing, dance, dress, spend all her money, run in debt, ruin her husband; there would be some sense in that: the man would stay at home then to quarrel with her. She would have enough of his company. But no; mope, mope for ever; heigho! tease, tease; Muslin, step to William; where's his master? When did he come home? How long has he been up? A fine life truly. I love to be in the fashion, for my part. Bless me, I had like to have forgot. Mrs Marmalet comes to my rout to-night. She might as well stay away: she is nothing but mere lumber. The formal thing won't play higher than shilling whist. How the devil does she think I can make a shilling party for her? There is no such a thing now-a-days: nobody plays shilling whist now, unless I was to invite the trades-people; but I s'a'nt let myself down for Madam Marmalet, that I promise her. [Exit.

SCENE I.—An Apartment at Sir BASHFUL CONSTANT'S.

Enter Sir BASHFUL.

Sir Bash. Did not I hear a rap at the door? Yes, yes, I did; I am right. The carriage is just now driving away. Who answers there? Sideboard; step hither, Sideboard. I must know who it is: my wife keeps the best company in England. Hold, I must be wary. Servants love to pry into their masters' secrets.

Enter SIDEBOARD.

Sir Bash. Whose carriage was that at the door? Side. The duchess of Hurricane, your honour. Sir Bash. The Duchess of Hurricane? [Walks aside and smiles.] A woman of great rank!-What did she want?

Side. She has left this card for my lady. Sir Bash. A card? Let me see it. [Reads.] "The Duchess of Hurricane presents compliments to Lady Constant. She has left the hounds and the foxes, and the brutes that gallop after them, to their own dear society for the rest of the winter. Her grace keeps Wednesdays at Hurricane House for the rest of the winter." Make me thankful, here's a card from a duchess! -what have you there?

Side. A parcel of cards, that have been left here

this morning.

Sir Bash. All these in one morning? [Looks at them.] Why I may as well keep an inn; may as well keep the Coach and Horses in Piccadilly. [Reads fast.] "Lady Riot-Mrs Allnight-The Duchess of Carmine"-look ye there, another duchess!" Lady Basset-Lord Pleurisic-the

Countess of Ratifie-Sir Richard Lungs-Lord Laudanum-Sir Charles Valerian-Lady Hectick-Lady Mary Gabble"-I cann't bear all this, Sideboard-Aside and smiling.] I cann't bear the pleasure of it: all people of tip-top condition to visit my wife!

Enter FURNISH.

Sir Bash. What's the matter, Furnish?

Fur. The matter, sir?-Nothing's the matter. Sir Bash. What are you about? Where are you going? What have you to do now?

Fur. Only to tell the chairmen they must take Black George with his flambeau with them this evening, and carry the chair to pay visits for my lady.

Sir Bash. An empty chair to pay visits !-what polite ways people of fashion have got of being intimate with each other!-[Aside.] Absurd as it is, I am glad to see my wife keep pace with the best of them. I laugh at it, and yet I like it. Wounds! I shall be found out by my servants. I tell you, Sideboard, and you, Mrs Busy Body, that your mistress leads a life of noise and hurry, and cards and dice, and vanity and nonsense, and I am resolved to bear it no longer.-Don't I hear her coming?

Fur. My lady is coming, sir.

Sir Bash. [Aside and smiling.] She looks charm. ingly.-Now I'll tell her roundly a piece of my mind. You shall see who commands in this house.

Enter Lady CONSTANT.

Sir Bash. [Steals a look.] I could almost give up the point when I look at her.-So, madam, I have had my house full of duns again to-day.