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Brid. Moors! lack-a-day! what talk you of Moors? What are simple Moors to such a paramour as he? You know, madam, he is desperation at the loss of your ladyship's affection.

Pis. Thou, mistress Abigail, art in the right-Prior pretensions if the knight doth boast, Why happy man be's dole, say I, Il primo venuto il primo servito.

Urs. How's this, signior? Shall not a woman of my age and fashion make my own choice? And can your honour thus desert your fortune?

no

Pis. Desert my fortune! ha! why-what-O

Urs. Nay, nay, I claim protection from your sword

Against this rude intruder.

Pis. Furies!--[Pauses.] Oh! I have it. Enough-thou sayest-my sword thou shalt command,

'Gainst Pagan recreant, or Christian knight. Come forth, Toledo-[Draws.] Ha! what's this I see?

O, blunder vile! unfortunate mistake!
My varlet hath equipp'd me with a foil,

A blunt and battered foil, sans point and temper:
It would not parry even a bulrush: this!
[Throws away his sword, which BRIDGET
picks up.

Urs. Bridget, let's see

[Takes the sword, and clapping the point to the ground, bends it double.] Alas! 'tis so, it's plain.

Ha, ha, ha, the flaming sword of Spain !

The gift of the renown'd and peerless paragon, "Rhodomontado hight, the king of Arragon!' [Holding it up in derision. [Turning to PISTOL.] Nay, do not take my humour thus amiss;

I'm light of heart, but nothing mean t' offend.
As with this paultry foil thou can'st not fight,
Myself will with 't encounter this same knight.
Bridget will safe conduct thee to the gate,
Go, and good tidings speedily await.

[Exit.

Pis. [Looking after her.] The gibbet be my portion, if I trow,

Whether she means to jilt me now or no;
But fata trahunt-Abigail, lead on,
If Falstaff's near, 'tis time that I were gone.
[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A Street.

Justice SHALLOW and Master SLENDER enter. Shal. Take me-take me this letter, I say, to Sir John Falstaff. That is his suttling-house. I will maul his cloak-bag of chitterlings with my rapier, as I may.

Slen. And will you fight him, cousin? Well, hang me if I carry the challenge. I never could abide the thoughts of cold iron. Even a key put down my back for a bloody nose, ugh-ugh—ugh, would always set me a-shuddering.

Shal. Don't tell me-if the law will not get me my money, I'll be revenged of him. The tun-bel

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lied knave shall not make such a fool of me. I will have his blood or my money.

Slen. His blood! O lud! O lud! Why, cousin Shallow, you are enough to

Shul. Carry me this letter, I say, to Sir John Falstaff. What is it to you? If I am killed, you are my heir, and come in for my land and beeves. So, do as I bid you.

Slen. Ecod, that's true. I did not think of that; if my cousin's killed, I come in for his estate. [Aside.] Ay, I'll carry him the challenge. Hey! here he comes, with his bottle-nosed man, that picked my pocket at Windsor.

FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH enter. Shal. Sir John! Sir John Falstaff! Bar. Sir John, Justice Shallow calls ye. Ful. What would the blade of spear-mint have with me? I have done with him.

Shal. But I have not yet done with you, Sir John! I would first have my thousand pound of you again.

Ful. You would, Master Shallow ! like enough. -You must take me then in the humour. I am at present ill-disposed to your suit.

Shal. Tut, Sir John! I have said I will not tamely put up this wrong. If I do, I shall be flouted and jibed to death: I shall be pursued by the mockery of a whole hundred.

Fal. Not unlikely. But, believe me, the more you bustle in this business, the more you will expose yourself. The more you stir-you know the proverb, Master Shallow, it is a little homely, so let that pass. Yet, let me advise thee; rest

content.

Shal. Content! I am not content. I cannot be content. Nay, I will not be content. Give me back the money, or I will have satisfaction of thee.

Ful. Satisfaction, say'st thou? Why, thou wilt not dare me to the combat.

Shal. Such provocation would make a coward fight, Sir John.

Ful. If it make thee fight, I'll be sworn it would: for I have seen thee tremble at the shaking of a wheat-ear.

Shal. To be bamboozled! cheated! laught at ! I will not put it up. By heavens I will not put it up. Fal. Well said, Master Shallow. Now I see there's mettle in thee. But surely thou would'st not be the first to break the peace! thou, whose office it is to punish the breach of it.

Shal. Sir John, there are times and reasons for all things. If you will neither give me my money nor gentleman's satisfaction, I will have thee tossed in a blanket for a poltroon as thou art. Fal. They must be stout carls, Master Shallow, that toss me in a blanket.

Shal. Well, well, we shall see- -I'll parley with you no longer. Cousin Slender, don't stand shill I, shall I, but give him the note.

Sten. Ay, ay, if coz is killed, I shall have his estate, and so there's the challenge.

[Exeunt SHAL. and SLEN.

Fal. A challenge!-By the Lord and it is a challenge. I am called upon here to meet him on Tower-hill incontinently at single rapier. Hoo! what a turluru! In the name of common sense is the fool turned madman? What means the simple tony by this? To get his money again?— Does he think by running me through the pericranium to become my heir at law ?-The fearful stag is at bay, and become desperate.-But let me see-What's to be done here? I am in person too much of a knight to engage with so little a 'squire I have it.Bardolph, I being your master, and a knight, thou art by the laws of chivalry no less than a 'squire. Now, as I take it, this quarrel is properly thine: thou must meet Justice Shallow at single rapier.

Bar. I, Sir John! he has no quarrel against me. The challenge is given to your honour. Fal. True, but I tell thee my honour disdains to encounter a pitiful 'squire: thou must take my sword and fight him.

Bar. I shall only disgrace your arms, Sir John. Fal. Go to, you will do well. He knows nothing of the sword; and, should he challenge thee at pistols, put a charge into each barrel, and present thy nose at him; he will never stand thy fire.

Bar. Indeed, Sir John, I must be excused. I never could fight in my life, unless there was something to be got by it; a booty on the highway or so.

Fal. Why, 'tis for a thousand pounds, you

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Shal. I am glad to hear that, and yet I would I had had a lesson or two more, before I had encountered him.

lost in the fog.-Master Shallow! Master Shal low!

SHALLOW re-enters.

Shal. Ay, ay, Sir John, here am I.

Fal. Saints and good angels guard us! What is this?

Shal. Come, Sir John, draw, draw. Fal. It calls me by my name too! Jesu Maria! It is no deceptio visus. In the name of heaven

Pis. Bear thy point thus-sa, sa, friend and earth, what art thou? Ouphe, fairy, ghost, hobgoblin, or demon? Exorciso te.-Pater

Shallow, sa.

Do thus, I say, and trust Pistolo's art.

I to the buxom widow will relate

This deed of prowess.

Shal. I will essay; but some one comes this way; let us retire, and try that pass again.

[Exeunt.

Dr CAIUS and Man enter. Caius. Jack Rugby, follow me, Jack Rugby: I ave hear dere is to be duel fought hereabouts, by arid by. If de parties be not killed outright, dey may vant assistance. Ve must vatch the opportunity, Jack Rugby.

Rug. To prevent the gentlemen fighting, sir— Caius. To prevent their fighting! vat ave we to do wid dat? No, you fool, Jack; to take care of de vounded. Dat is my business.

Rug. But how if the other should run away? Caius. By gar, let him run: he be no patient for me. Come dis way. [Exeunt.

FALSTAFF enters.

Fal. Aha-aha-What a vile mist there is abro ad to-day! I cannot see a sword's length before me.-This must be the spot. But where is the a dversary? I would not have him, methinks,

ter.

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Fal. Fight thee! When thou seest the princely eagle descend to encounter the tom-tit. 'What! shall the lofty elephant wield his proboscis against a mite? Shall Sir John Falstaff draw his martial sword against such a pig-widgeon as thou?

Shal. What then did you come here for, Sir John? If you would not be treated as a coward, lay down your target and draw.

Fal. Lay down my target, sayst thou? Who would be fool then? Look ye, Master Shallow (since shallow thou wilt be) if I fight, it must be on equal terms.-It is but equitable that my body should be secured, when I engage with an unsub

stantial form; a thing that has none. Dost thou think me such a goose-cap as to lay open this fair round belly to the point of thy rapier, when thou presentest not a mark for me? It were as good as pricking at a lottery, ten thousand blanks to a prize, to make a thrust at thee. It were indeed more than a miracle to hit what, rhetorically speaking, is impalpable. But come, if thou must fight with me, thou shalt not say I deal unfairly by thee. To draw my sword would be needless: for hit thee I never shall.-That's flat. Therefore, Toledo, rest thou in thy scabbard. This is my ward -Stands on his defence with his target.] Carry thy point as thou wilt: if thou canst not come into me before thou art weary, the money is mine; if thou dost, and woundest me, I will then-keep it to pay the surgeon. So come on.

Shal. Sir John, you are a cowardly knave, and I will kill you if I can.

[They fight. Mr SHALLOW thrusts at Sir JOHN, who receives his point always on his target.

Fal. Well said, Master Shallow.-Bravo!To't again. Sa-sa.

[SHALLOW breaks his sword, and FALSTAFF closes with him, and seizes him by the collar; on which SHALLOW falls down on his knees, and FALSTAFF claps the target on his head.]

Ha! have I nabb'd you? You should have appointed sticklers, Mr Shallow. What if I cut thy throat now? [Taking off the target. Shal. Sir John, my life is in your hands; but you know you have wronged me.

Fal. Well then, thy wrongs be forgotten; and, on that condition I give thee back thy forfeited life.

Shal. And I hope also you won't bear malice, Sir John, against me for the future.

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Fal. By the Lord, not I. I do admire thy magnanimity and valour. Why, thou art a very mirror of prowess, and pink of 'squire-errantry. John of Gaunt was a fool to thee. Were I a king, thou shouldst, for this day's work, be made a knight with all the honours of chivalry. Nay, by our lady, I will take majesty upon me, and knight thee myself. Rise up Sir Robert Shallow, knight of | the most horrible order of combatants and murderers of the fifth button.' And now, Sir Robert, if thou dost not think the title I've bestowed on thee worth the thousand pounds I owe thee, I will for the first time make restitution. Thou shalt be repaid out of my wife's portion. For thou must know I am this night to be married, and have broke into the round sum to make handsome preparations for my nuptials.

Shallow. I will be a friend to thee. The widow and her niece are impostors. Shal. Impostors!

Fal. Whores! whores, Mr Shallow! Shal. How! the widow of Watling-street, and Mrs Beatrice of Bucklersbury

Fal. Go to, I mean thy widow-Give me thy hand; I will tell thee more as we pass along. [Exeunt.

Dr CAIUS and his Man enter.

Caius. Dey shake hands!-Eh, morbleu; dey be one brace of cowards. Dat fat knight never once draw his rapier. By gar, did we not get more by de maladie de France, dan by de English courage, we should not get salt to our pottage, pardie. But, by gar, I will charge them both for my attendance; and if they no pay me, I will expose their no courage.- Come along, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt.

PISTOL enters.

Pis. The train takes fire, and all will soon be flames.

The 'squires are gull'd; and Doll and Quickly take

For dames of wealth. The corporal plotted well.

NYM enters, who gives PISTOL a letter. Nym. A letter from madam Ursula; see if there's humour in it.

Pis. Ha! prize or blank! I'll open it, and read Our fortune in the lottery-book of fate.

[PISTOL reads to himself. By Jove's bright welkin, 'tis a golden prize. Nought could withstand the flash of Pistol's prime.

She writes us here she scorns the wassel knight,
Who keeps to-day high revels at the Globe:
Where, if we meet, we may in masquerade
Be sped; I to the mistress, you the maid.

Nym. Marry-trap, the humour is good; but how shall we know them?

Pis. In purple garb, like nymphs, they'll be array'd;

And in feign'd voices speak: the word is soh !
Let us about our disguises strait :
Cunning outwits, and courage conquers, fate.
[Exeunt.

SCENE II.-A Ball-room. FALSTAFF enters, with SHALLOW and SLENDER in Dominos.-Their Masks in their hands.

here at the Globe.

Shal. Marry, Sir John, thou hast a pithy pericranium; this is a notable contrivance. I have Shal. I give thee joy, Sir John; and, as I find appointed the parties, as you directed, to be dressthere is still so much honour in thee, I will opened in purple, and to meet us among the revellers my heart, and confess to thee, that both my nephew Slender and I are going to be married too. Fal. Ay! to whom, Master Shallow, to whom? Shal. Ito the wealthy widow of Watling-street, and my nephew Slender, to buxom Beatrice her niece, of Bucklersbury.

Fal. Master Shallow, you are deceived, Master

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Fal. Thou hast done well, Master Shallow: and I see you and your nephew are clothed in the same disguises as Nym and Pistol.—You shall see sport, Mr Shallow. But see, the maskers come this way. I must go meet the bride.

[Exit FALSTAFF.

[SHALLOW and SLENDER put on their Masks.

A number of Maskers enter; among the rest, PISTOL, NYм, Mrs QUICKLY, and DOLL. FALSTAFF re-enters, leading in URSULA, followed by BRIDget.

Fal. Gentles, you're welcome.-You see I come unmasked among you. It were superfluous for him to hide his face who could not be concealed for his belly. Could I mask that, indeed, I might pass in disguise But come, begin the dance: I hope there will be yet concealment enough in this revelry to defeat the rogueries contrived in darkness, and bring them to light. Pis. Nym, who are those in purple vestments clad?

Nym. The two in green?

Pis. In robes of Tyrian dye.

Nym. By their garb they should be the parties; let us accost them. The priest is ready without. We will be speedy; and, when sped, return unmasked to tantalize the knight.

[They go up to QUICKLY and DOLL, and take

them out.

A Dance. PISTOL and NYM re-enter, unmasked. Fal. Pistol, how now? wherefore hast doff'd thy mask?-Art thou the master of this feast? or am I thine?

Pis. That is as fortune bids, and time shall shew;

Some mount aloft, while others truckle low.
Sir Knight, no more your ancient and base tyke,
Pistol was born to wield the potent pike.

Fal. Pistol, thou art always in the clouds. Art thou drunk? or hast thou got a commission? Pis. Gold honour buys, and Ursula hath store. Fal. How, rascal! dost thou mean to rob my wife?

Nym. Thy wife! marry that were a good jest. -I see the humour runs well.

Pis. Not thine, but mine, proud Basilisco
Knight!

Without, just married, waits thy quondam flame.
Fal. To thee?

Pis. To me.

Fal. Nym, what say'st thou ?

Nym. Marry, Sir John, that's the short of it: and I myself was just now married to Mrs Bridget, her woman.

Fal. [Turning to URSULA.] Say, my fair queen of Sheba, is this true? unmask: nay, gentles, all unmask, that we may see what faces are put on. Urs. You, Sir John, can answer for me. Brid. And you for me, madam. Marry a corporal indeed! the fellows are drunk. PISTOL and NYM look at each other with confusion and astonishment; during which time Mrs QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET enter unmasked, and, passing by PISTOL and NYM, (who start back with fresh astonishment) go up to Justice SHALLOW and Master SLENDER.] Fal. How now, you bare-faced strumpets! what do you mean? This is no brothel : play no gambols here,

Quick. Marry come up, Sir John; you will not hinder my going to my husband. Mr Shailow will protect me; my dear Mr Shallow. Doll. No, nor me neither, were he twenty Sir John Falstaffs. Sweet Mr Slender!

Shal. Goody Quickly, loose your hold, I pray you; I know you, Mrs Quickly.

Slen. Ay, and I know you too, Mrs Dorothy. Doll. O ho! do you so? What, Sir John hath blown us, hath he? But no matter; he cannot

unmarry us.

Quick. No, truly, that he cann't.

Fal. Nor would I: for, since whores and rogues have consorted, I have never seen four bet ter match'd.

Quick. I to wise Justice Shallow. Doll. And I to foolish Mr Slender. Shal. Not so, hostess; keep your distance, I pray you.

Slen. No, no-keep off, Doll, keep off. Quick. Plain Doll! do you hear that, Ma Slender?

Doll. And hostess, truly! do you take the Mrs Shallow?

molish your frippery.-There are your cuckolds Fal. Away-ye termagant jades; or I will de Pistol, Nym, why stand ye there like mutes? Are you fascinated at the success of your mu mery? Or are you ruminating on the comforts of cuckoldom, by anticipation? Take hence your crooked ribs.

[PISTOL and NYM go and take QUICKLY
DOLL by the hand.

Quick. What, has there been a trick the played on us in these disguises? Was I married to you, Pistol?

Pis. Dame Quickly, thou art mine. The fates have cross'd us.

Fal. Nay, I'll be sworn they have join'd you Doll. And was I married to you, Nym? Nym. Even so, Doll. I am heartily sorry it; but luck hath turn'd tail upon us, that's the

trick on't.

for

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Nay, should Sir John himself my service lack, At the Boar's Head he'll find a glass of sack. Fal. But wilt thou put no lime in it, Pistol? Pis. No, by Falernian Bacchus, for my knight. Fal. Then will I be thy guest. Nay, by'r lady, thou shalt for once be mine too. I will not break off the thread of our quondam familiarity with so little grace as majesty hath done. I do invite you all, therefore, to supper with me. And if you

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THE muse of Shakespeare's compliments!-A card
T'excuse this evening's enterprising bard!
Great his presumption, to confess the truth:
But, as he pleads the passion of his youth,
Together with the magic of her charms,
Attracting him resistless to her arms;

| We've heathen gods of pasteboard, made to fly
On hempen cords across the painted sky;
Those canvas clouds, that dangle there above,
Inveloping the throne itself of Jove!

His tale fictitious too, though told so glib;
For, take it on my word, 'twas all a fib.

Though somewhat by surprise she owns she suf- Old Falstaff in Elysium!-To my thinking,

fer'd,

Yet, as no actual violence was offer'd,
She's willing, if the audience should agree,
For this one time, to set the offender free.
We women soon forgive, if not forget,
The crimes our beauties make the men commit,
Especially when once we're past our prime,
And Shakespeare's muse,
like me, 's the worse for

time.
For, though she charm with fancy ever young,
Though heavenly music dwell upon her tongue,
Lost many an artless smile and dimple sleek,
Which sat alluring on her virgin cheek;
Beauties, that faded on the gazer's eye,
And no cold cream of comfort can supply.
As for what Merc'ry in the Prologue told ye;
Pray, let not that from clemency with-hold ye.
That Hermes was of old a lying blade,
And practised in imposture, as his trade;
The patron he, or classic lore deceives,
Of cheats, forestallers, higglers, hucksters, thieves.
Besides to tell you a stage-trick of ours-
But you'll not spread the secret out of doors,-
The man was no more Mercury, than I am
Queen Hecuba, the wife of Trojan Priam.
A messenger from Phoebus! He a god!
I can assure you all, 'twas Mr Dodd;
His dropping from the clouds, was all a sham;
And his pretended errand but a flam.

VOL. IV.

So great his natural tendency to sinking,
That to the shades if he had once descended,
To bring him back, not Atlas had pretended.
Dramatic sprites (at least they tell me so,)
Dwell not with saints above, nor devils below:
But, form'd th' imagination to engage,
During their short-lived passage o'er the stage,
As mere ideal characters exist,

And stand as cyphers mark'd on Nature's list;
To genius giv'n a delegated power,

To form these transient beings of an hour;
Which, from this mimic world whene'er they go,
Are free to range in fancy's Pimlico;

A limbo large and broad; which in the schools
Is call'd by some the Paradise of Fools.
Fera natura there, their preservation
Is purchased by no game association :
The poaching plagiary alone denied
A privilege, granted to each bard beside;
May shoot, or course, or hunt them down at will;
Who, though a cottager, to try his skill,
In his own paddock may the strays receive,
And scorn to ask a lordly owner's leave.

Not that but here, the author of the play,
By me begs leave submissively to say,
"None more than he reveres great Shakespeare's

name,

Or glows with zeal to vindicate his fame."

2 F

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