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Brid, Moors ! lack-a-day! what talk you of | lied knave shall not make such a fool of me. I Moors? What are simple Moors to such a para
will have his blood or my money. mour as he? You know, madam, he is despera
Slen. His blood ! O lud! olud! Why, coution at the loss of your ladyship’s affection. sin Shallow, you are enough to
Pis. Thou, mistress Abigail, art in the right Shal. Carry me this letter, I say, to Sir John Prior pretensions if the knight doth boast, Falstaff. What is it to you? If I am killed, you Why happy man be's dole, say I,
are my heir, and come in for my land and beeves. Il primo venuto il primo servito.
So, do as I bid you. Urs. How's this, signior? Shall not a woman of Slen. Ecod, that's true. I did not think of my age and fashion make my own choice? And that; if my cousin's killed, I come in for his escan your honour thus desert your fortune ? tate. [ Aside.] Ay, I'll carry him the challenge. Pis. Desert my fortune! ha! why-what-o Hey ! here he comes
, with his bottle-noscd man,
that picked my pocket at Windsor. Urs. Nay, nay, I claim protection from your
FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH enter. sword Against this rude intruder.
Shal. Sir John ! Sir John Falstaff ! Pis. Furies ! (Pauses.] Oh! I have it.
Bur. Sir John, Justice Shallow calls ye. Enough-thou sayest-my sword thou shalt com Ful. What would the blade of spear-mint have mand,
with me! I have done with him. 'Gainst Pagan recreant, or Christian knight. Shal. But I have not yet done with you, Sir Come forth, Toledo—[Draws.] Ha! what's this John ! I would first have my thousand pound of I see?
you again. O, blunder vile ! unfortunate mistake !
Ful. You would, Master Shallow ! like enough. My varlet hath equipp'd me with a foil,
-You must take me then in the humour. I am A blunt and battered foil, sans point and temper : at present ill-disposed to your suit. It would not parry even a bulrush: this !
Shal. Tut, Sir John ! I have said I will not [Throws away his sword, which BRIDGET tamely put up this wrong. If I do, I shall be picks up,
flouted and jibed to death : I shall be pursued by Urs. Bridget, let's see
the mockery of a whole hundred. (Takes the sword, and clapping the point to Fal. Not unlikely. But, believe me, the more the ground, bends it double.]
you bustle in this business, the more you will exAlas ! 'tis so, it's plain.
pose yourself. The more you stirHa, ha, ha, the flaming sword of Spain ! the proverb, Master Shallow, it is a little homely, • The gift of the renown's and peerless paragon, so let that pass. Yet, let me advise thee; rest · Rhodomontado hight, the king of Arragon!'
(Holding it up in derision. Shal. Content! I am not content. I cannot [Turning to Pistol.) Nay, do not take my hu- be content. Nay, I will not be content. Give mour thus amiss ;
me back the money, or I will have satisfaction of I'm light of heart, but nothing mean t offend.
thee. As with this paultry foil thou can’st not fight, Ful. Satisfaction, say'st thou? Why, thou wilt Myself will with 't encounter this same knight. not dare me to the combat. Bridget will safe conduct thee to the gate,
Shul. Such provocation would make a coward Go, and good tidings speedily await. [Exit. fight, Sir John.
Fut. If it make thee fight, I'll be sworn it Pis. (Looking after her.] The gibbet be my por- would: for I have seen thee tremble at the shation, if I trow,
king of a wheat-ear. Whether she means to jilt me now or no; Shul. To be bamboozled! cheated ! laught at ! But fata trahunt - Abigail, lead on, I will not put it up. By heavens I will not put If Falstaff's near, 'tis time that I were gone.
(Exeunt. Fal. Well said, Master Shallow. Now I see
there's mettle in thee. But surely thou would'st SCENE IV.-A Street.
not be the first to break the peace! thou, whose
office it is to punish the breach of it. Justice SHALLOW und Master SLENDER enter.
Shul. Sir John, there are times and reasons for Shal. Take me-take me this letter, I say, to all things. If you will neither give me my money Sir John Falstaff. That is his suttling-house. I nor gentleman's satisfaction, I will have thee will maul his cloak-bag of chitterlings with my ra. tossed in a blanket for a poltroon as thou art. pier, as I may.
Fal. They must be stout carls, Master Shallow, Slen. And will you fight him, cousin ? Well, that toss me in a blanket. hang me if I carry the challenge. I never could Shal. Well, well, we shall see-I'll parley with abide the thoughts of cold iron. Even a key put you no longer. Cousin Slender, don't stand shill down my back for a bloody nose, ugh-ugb-ugh, I, shall I, but give him the note. would always set me a-shuddering.
Slen. Ay, ay, if coz is killed, I shall have his Shal. Don't tell me--if the law will not get me estate, and so there's the challenge. my money, I'll be revenged of him. The tun-bel
(Exeunt Sual, and SLEN.
Fal. A challenge!-By the Lord and it is a Bar. I shall only disgrace your arms, Sir John. challenge. I am called upon here to meet him Fal. Go to, you will do well. He knows noon Tower-hill incontinently at single rapier. Hoo! thing of the sword; and, should be challenge the what a turluru! In the name of common sense at pistols, put a charge into each barrel, and preis the fool turned madman? What means the sent thy nose at him, he will never stand the fire. simple tony by this ? To get his money again ? Bar. Indeed, Sir John, I must be excused. I Does he think by running me through the peri- never could fight in my life, unless there was cranium to become my heir at law ?–The fearful something to be got by it ; a booty on the highstag is at bay, and become desperate.—But let way or so. me see—What's to be done here? I am in person Fal. Why, 'tis for a thousand pounds, you too much of a knight to engage with so little a rogue. 'squire I have it. -Bardolph, I being Bar. And where's the money? your master, and a knight, thou art by the laws
cashier's. of chivalry no less than a 'squire. Now, as I Bar. Well then, Sir John, why should we fight take it, this quarrel is properly thine : thou must for it? meet Justice Shallow at single rapier.
Fal. Bardolph, thou art a coward; but no matBar. I, Sir John ! he has no quarrel against ter.— I have a thought: I will meet him myself. me. The challenge is given to your honour. Go, fetch the buckler I fought with at Shrews. Fal. True, but I tell thee my honour disdainsbury.
(Exeunt. to encounter a pitiful 'squire : thou must take my sword and fight him.
Fal. At my
lost in the fog.-Master Shallow ! Master Shallow!
Pistol and Justice SHALLOW enter, stript for
SHALLOW re-enters. the Combat.
Shal. Ay, ay, Sir John, here am I. Pis. Dread nought, brave 'squire, the knight's Fal. Saints and good angels guard us! What a coward rank.
is this? Shal. I am glad to hear that, and yet I would Shal. Come, Sir John, draw, draw. I had had a lesson or two more, before I had en Fal. It calls me by my name too! Jesu Maris! countered him,
It is no deceptio visus. In the name of heaveti Pis. Bear thy point thus -sa, sa, friend and earth, what art thou? Ouphe, fairy, ghost, Shallow, sa.
hobgoblin, or demon? Exorciso te.- Pater nich Do thus, I say, and trust Pistolo's art.
ter. I to the buxom widow will relate
Shal. Come, Sir John, don't think to put we This deed of prowess.
from my purpose ; you know me very well. You Shal. I will essay; but some one comes this know Justice Shallow to his cost. way; let us retire, and try that pass again. Ful. How! can this thing be Robert Shallow,
(Exeunt. of Gloucestershire, Esq. justice of the peace, and
of the quorum ? I took it for some strolling ghost Dr CAIUS and Man enter. escaped out of purgatory, by all that's terrible
. Caius. Jack Rugby, follow me, Jack Rugby: I Shal. Sir John, this mockery shall not suffice are hear dere is to be duel fought hereabouts, by you. arıd by. If de parties be not killed outright, dey Fal. Nay, it is true, as I am a sinner. may vant assistance,
Ve must vatch the oppor Shal. Will you fight me, Sir John, or will you tu nity, Jack Rugby.
not? Rug. To prevent the gentlemen fighting, sir Fal. Fight thee! When thou seest the princely
Caius. To prevent their fighting ! vat ave we eagle descend to encounter the tom-tit. 'What? to do wid dat? No, you fool, Jack; to take care shall the lofty elephant wield his proboscis against of de vounded. Dat is my business.
a mite? Shall Sir John Falstaff draw his martial Rug. But how if the other should run away? sword against such a pig-widgeon as thou?
Caius. By gar, let him run: he be no patient Shal. What then did you come here for, Sir for me. Come dis way.
[Ėxeunt. John ? If you would not be treated as a coward,
lay down your target and draw. FALSTAFF enters.
Fal. Lay down my target, sayst thou? Who Ral. Aha-aha—What a vile mist there is would be fool then? Look ye, Master Shalom abro ad to-day! I cannot see a sword's length be- (since shallow thou wilt be) if I fight, it must be fore me. This must be the spot. But where is on equal terms.- It is but equitable that my body the a dversary? I would not have him, methinks, I should be secured, when I engage with an unsaba
stantial form; a thing that has none. Dost thou Shallow. I will be a friend to thee. The widow think me such a goose-cap as to lay open this fair and her niece are impostors. round belly to the point of thy rapier, when thou Shal. Impostors! presentest'not a mark for me? It were as good Fal. Whores! whores, Mr Shallow ! as pricking at a lottery, ten thousand blanks to a Shal. How ! the widow of Watling-street, and prize, to make a thrust at thee. It were indeed Mrs Beatrice of Bucklersburymore than a miracle to hit what, rhetorically speak Fal. Go to, I mean thy widow-Give me thy ing, is impalpable. But come, if thou must fight hand; I will tell thee more as we pass along. with me, thou shalt not say I deal unfairly by thee.
(Exeunte To draw my sword would be needless: for hit thee I never shall.—That's flat. Therefore, Tole
Dr Caius and his Man enter. do, rest thou in thy scabbard. This is my ward Caius. Dey shake hands !-Eh, morbleu; dey - Stands on his defence with his target.] Carry be one brace of cowards. Dat fat knight never thy point as thou wilt : if thou canst not come once draw his rapier. By gar, did we not get into me before thou art weary, the money is mine ; more by de maladie de France, dan by de Eng. if thou dost, and woundest me, I will then-keep lish courage, we should not get salt to our potit to pay the surgeon. So come on.
tage, pardie. But, by gar, I will charge them Shal. Sir John, you are a cowardly knave, and both for my attendance; and if they no pay me, I will kill you if I can.
I will expose their no courage.
Come along, (They fight. Mr SHALLOW thrusts at Sir Jack Rugby.
(Exeunt. JOHN, who receives his point always on his target.
PISTOL enters. Fal. Well said, Master Shallow.-Bravo! Pis. The train takes fire, and all will soon be To't again. —Sasa.
flames. [SHALLOW breuks his sword, and FALSTAFF The 'squires are gulld; and Doll and Quickly closes with him, and seizes him by the colo
take lar; on which SHALLOW fulls down on his For dames of wealth. The corporal plotted well. knees, and FALSTAFF claps the target on his head.]
Nem enters, who gives Pistol a letter. Ha! have I nabb’d you? You should have ap Nym. A letter from madam Ursula ; see if pointed sticklers, Mr Shallow. What if I cut thy there's humour in it. throat now?
(Taking off the target. Pis. Ha ! prize or blank ! I'll open it, and read Shal. Sir John, my life is in your hands; but Our fortune in the lottery-book of fate. you know you have wronged me.
[PISTOL reads to himself. Fal. Well then, thy wrongs be forgotten; and, By Jove's bright welkin, 'tis a golden prize. on that condition I give thee back thy forfeited Nought could withstand the flash of Pistol's life.
prime. Shal. And I hope also you won't bear malice, She writes us here she scorns the wassel knight, Sir John, against me for the future.
Who keeps to-day high revels at the Globe: Fal. By the Lord, not I. I do admire thy mag- Where, if we meet, we may in masquerade nanimity and valour. Why, thou art a very mir- Be sped; I to the mistress, you the maid. ror of prowess, and pink of 'squire-errantry. John Nym. Marry-trap, the humour is good ; but of Gaunt was a fool to thee. Were I a king, thou how shall we know them? shouldst, for this day's work, be made a knight Pis. In purple garb, like nymphs, they'll be with all the honours of chivalry. Nay, by our
array'd; lady, I will take majesty upon me, and knight thee And in feign’d voices speak : the word is soh ! myself. "Rise up Sir Robert Shallow, knight of Let us about our disguises strait : the most horrible order of combatants and mur- Cunning outwits, and courage conquers, fate. derers of the fifth button. And now, Sir Robert,
(Exeunt. if thou dost not think the title I've bestowed on thee worth the thousand pounds I owe thee, I
SCENE II.- A Ball-room. will for the first time make restitution. Thou shalt be repaid out of my wife's portion. For PALSTAFF enters, with SHALLOW and SLENDER thou must know I am this night to be married,
in Dominos.- Their Masks in their hands. and have broke into the round sum to make hand Shul. Marry, Sir John, thou hast a pithy pesome preparations for my nuptials.
ricranium ; this is a notable contrivance. I have Shal. I give thee joy, Sir John; and, as I find appointed the parties, as you directed, to be dressthere is still so much honour in thee, I will open ed in purple, and to meet us among the revellers my beart, and confess to thee, that both my ne- here at the Globe. phew Slender and I are going to be married too. Fal. Thou hast done well, Master Shallow:
Fol. Ay! to whom, Master Shallow, to whom? and I see you and your nephew are clothed in
Shal. Ito the wealthy widow of Watling-street, the same disguises as Nym and Pistol.--You shall and my nephew Slender, to buxom Beatrice her see sport, Mr Shallow. But see, the maskers niece, of Bucklersbury.
come this way. I must go meet the bride. Fal. Master Shallow, you are deceived, Master
in this revelry to defeat the rogueries
[SHALLOW and SLENDER put on their Masks. Quick. Marry come up, Sir John ; you will
not hinder my going to my husband. Mr ShalA number of Maskers enter ; among the rest, low will protect me; my dear Mr Shallow.
Pistol, NYM, Mrs QUICKLY, and Doll. Doll. No, nor me neither, were he twenty Sir FALSTAFF re-enters, leading in URSULA, fol- | John Falstaffs. Sweet Mr Slender! lowed by BRIDGET.
Shal. Goody Quickly, loose your hold, I pray Fal. Gentles, you're welcome. You see Iyou; I know you, Mrs Quickly. come unmasked among you. It were superfluous Slen. Ay, and I know you too, Mrs Dorothy. for him to hide his face who could not be con Doll. O ho! do
you so? What, Sir John hath cealed for his belly. Could I mask that, indeed, blown us, hath he ? But no matter; he cannot I might pass in disguise But come, begin the unmarry us. dance: I hope there will be yet concealment Quick. No, truly, that he cann't.
Fal. Nor would I : for, since whores and rocontrived in darkness, and bring them to light. gues have consorted, I have never seen four bet
Pis. Nym, who are those in purple vestments ter match'd. clad?
Quick. I to wise Justice Shallow. Nym. The two in green?
Doll. And I to foolish Mr Slender. Pis. In robes of Tyrian dye.
Shal. Not so, hostess ; keep your distance, I Nym. By their garb they should be the parties; pray you. let us accost them. The priest is ready without. Šlen. No, nokeep off, Doll, keep off, We will be speedy; and, when sped, return un Quick. Plain Doll! do you hear that, Min masked to tantalize the knight.
Slender? (They go up to QUICKLY and Doll, and take Doll. And hostess, truly! do you take that, them out.
Mrs Shallow ? A Dance. Pistol and Nym re-enter, unmasked. molish your frippery.—There are your cuckold
Fal, Away-ye termagant jades; or I will de Fal. Pistol, how now ? wherefore hast doff'd Pistol, Nym, why stand ye there like mutes ? thy mask ?-Art thou the master of this feast? Are you fascinated at the success of your mumor am I thine?
mery? Or are you ruminating on the comforts of Pis. That is as fortune bids, and time shall cuckoldom, by anticipation ? Take hence you: shew;
crooked ribs. Some mount aloft, while others truckle low. [Pistol und Nym go and take QUICKLY ON Sir Knight, no more your ancient and base tyke, Doll by the hand. Pistol was born to wield the potent pike.
Quick. What, has there been a trick then Fal. Pistol, thou art always in the clouds. Art played on us in these disguises ? Was I married thou drunk? or hast thou got a commission ?
to you, Pistol? Pis. Gold honour buys, and Ursula hath store. Pis. Dame Quickly, thou art mine. The fate
Ful. How, rascal! dost thou mean to rob my have cross'd us. wife?
Fal. Nay, I'll be sworn they have join'd you. Nym. Thy wife! marry that were a good jest. Doll. And was I married to you, Nym? -I see the humour runs well.
Nym. Even so, Doll. I am heartily sorry for Pis. Not thine, but mine, proud Basilisco | it; but luck hath turn'd tail upon us, that's the Knight!
trick on't. Without, just married, waits thy quondam flame. Doll. A very scurvy trick, indeed; but I had Fal. To thee?
so many husbands before, that one more or less Pis. To me.
breaks no squares with Doll. Come, Mrs QuidFal. Nym, what say'st thou ?
ly, be of good cheer: Pistol is better than Dich Nym. Marry, Sir John, that's the short of it: body: he will protect thee by out-swaggering the and I myself was just now married to Mrs Brid- swaggerers. get, her woman.
Pis. Contented I, since so the fates decree, Fal. (Turning to URSULA.) Say, my fair queen Soldier no more, a victualler, I'll be ; of Sheba, is this true ? unmask: nay, gentles, all | The martial sword exchange for carving knife unmask, that we may see what faces are put on. And cut out viands for the means of life.
Urs. You, Sir John, can answer for me. No more in anger fight, but joyous dine,
Brid. And you for me, madam. Marry a cor And 'stead of drawing blood, draw sparkling poral indeed! the fellows are drunk.
wine; Pistol and Nym look at each other with confu- Nay, should Sir John himself my service lack,
sion and astonishment; during which time at the Boar's Head he'll find a glass of sack. Mrs QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET enter Fal. But wilt thou put no lime in it, Pistol? unmasked, and, passing by Pistol and Nym, Pis. No, by Falernian Bacchus, for my knight. (who sturi back with fresh astonishment) goup Fal. Then will I be thy guest. Nay, by'r lals, to Justice SHALLOW and Master SLENDER.] thou shalt for once be mine too. I will not break
Fal. How now, you bare-faced strumpets ! off the thread of our quondam familiarity with = what do you mean? This is no brothel : play no little
grace as majesty hath done. I do invite you gambols here,
all, therefore, to supper with me. And if you
Themuse of Shakespeare's compliments !-A card We've heathen gods of pasteboard, made to fly
His tale fictitious too, though told so glib; Attracting him resistless to her arms;
For, take it on my word, 'twas all a fib. Though somewhat by surprise she owns she suf. Old Falstaff in Elysium !-To my thinking, fer'd,
So great his natural tendency to sinking, Yet, as no actual violence was offer'd,
That to the shades if he had once descended, She's willing, if the audience should agree, To bring him back, not Atlas had pretended. For this one time, to set the offender free. Dramatic sprites (at least they tell me so,) We women soon forgive, if not forget,
Dwell not with saints above, nor devils below: The crimes our beauties make the men commit, But, form'd th' imagination to engage, Especially when once we're past our prime, During their short-lived passage o'er the stage, And Shakespeare's muse, like me, 's the worse for As mere ideal characters exist, time.
And stand as cyphers mark'd on Nature's list; For, though she charm with fancy ever young,
To genius giv'n a delegated power, Though heavenly music dwell upon her tongue, To form these transient beings of an hour; Lost many an artless smile and dimple sleek, Which, from this mimic world whene'er they go, Which sat alluring on her virgin cheek ;
Are free to range in fancy's Pimlico; Beauties, that faded on the gazer's eye,
A limbo large and broad; which in the schools And no cold cream of comfort can supply. Is call’d by some the Paradise of Fools.
As for what Merc'ry in the Prologue told ye ; Feræ naturæ there, their preservation
The poaching plagiary alone denied
Who, though a cottager, to try his skill,
Besides—to tell you a stage-trick of ours In his own paddock may the strays receive,