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At vice and folly, each a lawful game,
Our author flies, but with no partial aim.
He read the manners, open as they lie
In Nature's volume to the general eye.
Books too he read, nor blush'd to use their store-
He does but what his betters did before.
Shakespeare has done it, and the Grecian stage
Caught truth of character from Homer's page.

If in his scenes an honest skill is shewn,
And borrowing little, much appears his own;
If what a master's happy pencil drew
He brings more forward in dramatic view;
To your decision he submits his cause,
Secure of candour, anxious for applause.

But if, all rude, his artless scenes deface The simple beauties which he meant to grace, If, an invader upon others' land, He spoil and plunder with a robber's hand, Do justice on him!-As on fools before, And give to blockheads past one blockhead more.

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ACT I.

I am convinced of your perfidy, and very sure

SCENE 1.-A Room in OAKLY's House. Noise thatheard within.

Oak. 'Sdeath and fire! your passion hurries -Will you hear me?

Mrs Oak. [Within.] Don't tell me I know it you out of your senses is so it's monstrous, and I will not bear it. Oak. [Within.] But, my dear !

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Mrs. Oak. Nay, nay, &c. [Squabbling within. Enter Mrs OAKLY, with a Letter, OAKLY following.

Mrs Oak. Say what you will, Mr Oakly, you shall never persuade me but this is some filthy intrigue of yours.

Oak. I can assure you, my love! Mrs Oak. Your love!-Don't I know yourTell me, I say, this instant, every circumstance relating to this letter.

Oak. How can I tell you, when you will not so much as let me see it?

Mrs Oak, Look you, Mr Oakly, this usage is not to be borne. You take a pleasure in abusing my tenderness and soft disposition. To be perpetually running over the whole town, nay, the whole kingdom too, in pursuit of your amours! -Did not I discover that you was great with mademoiselle, my own woman?-Did not you contract a shameful familiarity with Mrs Freeman? -Did not I detect your intrigue with Lady Wealthy?-Was not you

Oak. Oons! madam, the Grand Turk himself has not half so many mistresses-You throw me out of all patience-Do I know any body but our common friends?-Am I visited by any body, that does not visit you?-Do Lever go out, unless you go with me?-And am I not as constantly by your side, as if I was tied to your apronstrings?

Mrs Oak, Go, go, you are a false manHave not I found you out a thousand times? And have not I this moment a letter in my hand, which convinces me of your baseness?-Let me know the whole affair, or I will

Oak. Let you know? Let me know what you would have of me

Mrs Ouk. No, you are a base man; and I will not hear you.

Oak. Why then, my dear, since you will neifrom me, I shall take my leave till you are in a ther talk reasonably yourself, nor listen to reason better humour. So, your servant! [Going,

Mrs Oak. Ay, go, you cruel man !. -Go to your mistresses, and leave your poor wife to her

miseries. How unfortunate a woman am I !— I could die with vexation

[Throwing herself into a chair. Oak. There it is-Now dare not I stir a step further-If I offer to go, she is in one of her fits in an instant-Never sure was woman at once of so violent and so delicate a constitution! What shall I say to sooth her? Nay, never make thyI love you. Nay, nay, you shall be convinced. self so uneasy, my dear-Come, come, you know

Mrs Oak. I know you hate me; and that your unkindness and barbarity will be the death of me. [Whining.

Oak. Do not vex yourself at this rate-1 love you most passionately-Indeed I do―This must be some mistake.

Mrs Ouk. O, I am an unhappy woman!

[Weeping.

Oak. Dry up thy tears, my love, and be com-
forted! You will find that I am not to blame in

this matter-Come, let me see this letter-
Nay, you shall not deny me. [Taking the letter,
Mrs Ouk. There! take it, you know the hand,

I am sure.

Oak. To Charles Oakly, Esq. [Reading.]— Hand! 'Tis a clerk-like hand, indeed! a good round text! and was certainly never penned by a fair lady.

Mrs Oak. Ay, laugh at me, do!

Oak. Forgive me, my love, I did not mean to laugh at thee-But what says the letter?-You stop my letter before [Reading]"Daughter eloped-you must be privy it comes to my hands, and then expect that I toit-scandalous-dishonourable-satisfactionshould know the contents of it. revenge”—um, um, um▬▬▬▬“ injured father. HENRY RUSSET." Mrs Oak. [Rising.] Well, sir-you see I have detected you- -Tell me this instant where she is concealed.

Mrs Oak, Heaven be praised I stopt it !-I suspected some of these doings for some time past -But the letter informs me who she is, and I'll be revenged on her sufficiently. Oh, you base man, you!

Oak. I beg, my dear, that you would moderate your passion!-Shew me the letter, and I'll convince you of my innocence.

Mrs Oak. Innocence !-Abominable!-Innosence!-But I am not to be made such a fool

7

Oak. So-so —so -This hurts me-I'm
shock'd—
[To himself.
Mrs Oak. What, are you confounded with your
guilt? Have I caught you at last?

Oak. O that wicked Charles! to decov a young
lady from her parents in the country! pros

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fligacy of the young fellows of this age is abominable. [To himself. Mrs Oak. [Half aside and musing.] Charles!Let me see!-Charles !-No! Impossible. This is all a trick.

Oak. He has certainly ruined this poor lady. To himself. Mrs Oak. Art! art! all art! There's a sudden turn now! You have ready wit for an intrigue, I find.

Oak. Such an abandoned action! I wish I had never had the care of him. [To himself. Mrs Oak. Mighty fine, Mr Oakly! Go on, sir, go on! I see what you mean. Your assurance provokes me beyond your very falsehood itself. So you imagine, sir, that this affected concern, this flimsy pretence about Charles, is to bring you off. Matchless confidence! But I am armed against every thing-I am prepared for all your dark schemes: I am aware of all your low stratagems.

Oak. See there now! Was ever any thing so provoking? To persevere in your ridiculousFor Heaven's sake, my dear, don't distract me. When you see my mind thus agitated and uneasy, that a young fellow, whom his dying father, my own brother, committed to my care, should be guilty of such enormous wickedness; I say, when you are witness of my distress on this occasion, how can you be weak enough and cruel enough to

Mrs Oak. Prodigiously well, sir! You do it very well. Nay, keep it up, carry it on, there's nothing like going through with it. O you artful creature! But, sir, I am not to be so easily satisfied. I do not believe a syllable of all this Give me the letter-[Snatching the letter.]-You shail sorely repent this vile business, for I am resolved that I will know the bottom of it. [Exit. Oak. This is beyond all patience. Provoking woman! Her absurd suspicions interpret every thing the wrong way. She delights to make me wretched, because she sees I am attached to her, and converts my tenderness and affection into the instruments of my own torture. But this ungracious boy! In how many troubles will he involve his own and his lady's family-I never imagined that he was of such abandoned principles. O, here he comes!

Enter Major OAKLY and CHARLES.
Char. Good-morrow, sir!

Maj. Good-morrow, brother, good-morrow!What! you have been at the old work, I find. I heard you-ding! dong! i'faith!-She has rung a noble peal in your ears. But how now? Why sure you've had a remarkable warm bout on't.You seem more ruffled than usual.

Oak. I am, indeed, brother! Thanks to that young gentleman there. Have a care, Charles! you may be called to a severe account for this. The honour of a family, sir, is no such light mat

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Oak. To a profligate mind, perhaps, these things may appear agreeable in the beginning; but don't you tremble at the consequences?

Char. I see, sir, that you are displeased with me, but I am quite at a loss to guess at the oc

casion.

Oak. Tell me, sir!-where is Miss Harriot Russet?

Char. Miss Harriot Russet !—Sir-Explain. Oak. Have not you decoyed her from her fa ther?

Char. I!-Decoyed her-Decoyed my Harriot! I would sooner die than do her the least injury. What can this mean?

Maj. I believe the young dog has been at her, after all.

Oak. I was in hopes, Charles, you had better principles. But there's a letter just come from her father

Char. A letter!-What letter? Dear sir, give it me. Some intelligence of my Harriot, major! The letter, sir, the letter this moment, for Hea. ven's sake!

Oak. If this warmth, Charles, tends to prove your innocence-Char. Dear sir, excuse me-I'll prove any thing-Let me bnt see this letter, and I'llOak. Let you see it?—I could hardly get a sight of it myself. Mrs Oakly has it. Char. Has she got it? Major, I'll be with you again directly. [Exit hastily.

Maj. Hey-day! The devil's in the boy! What a fiery set of people! By my troth, I think the whole family is made of nothing but combustibles.

Ouk. I like this emotion. It looks well. It may serve too to convince my wife of the folly of her suspicions. Would to Heaven I could quiet

them for ever!

Maj. Why, pray now, my dear naughty bro ther, what heinous offence have you committed this morning? What new cause of suspicion? You have been asking one of the maids to mend your ruffle, I suppose, or have been hanging your head out of window, when a pretty young wo man has past by, or

Oak. How can you trifle with my distresses, major? Did not I tell you it was about a letter?

Maj. A letter!-hum-A suspicious circum stance, to be sure! What, and the seal a truelover's knot now, hey! or an heart transfixt with darts; or possibly the wax bore the industrious impression of a thimble; or perhaps the folds were lovingly connected by a wafer pricked with a pin, and the direction written in a vile scrawl, and not a word spelt as it should be; ha, ha, ha!

Oak. Pooh! brother-Whatever it was, the letter, you find, was for Charles, not for methis outrageous jealousy is the devil.

Maj. Mere matrimonial blessings and domes tic comfort, brother! jealousy is a certain sign of love.

Oak. Love! it is this very love that hath made us both so miserable. Her love for me has confined me to my house, like a state prisoner, with out the liberty of seeing my friends, or the use

of pen, ink, and paper; while my love for her has made such a fool of me, that I have never had the spirit to contradict her.

Maj. Ay, ay, there you've hit it; Mrs Oakly would make an excellent wife, if you did but know how to manage her.

Oak. You are a rare fellow, indeed, to talk of managing a wife-A debauched bachelor-a rattle-brained, rioting fellow-who have picked up your common-place notions of women in bagnios, taverns, and the camp; whose most refined commerce with the sex has been in order to delude country girls at your quarters, or to besiege the virtue of abigails, milliners, or mantua-makers' 'prentices.

that upon you, which she finds does most execution. But you must be proof against every thing. If she's furious, set passion against passion; if you find her at her tricks, play off art against art, and foil her at her own weapons. That's your game, brother!

Ouk. Why, what would you have me do?

Maj. Do as you please, for one month, whether she likes it or not; and, I'll answer for it, she will consent you shall do as you please all her life after.

Oak. This is fine talking. You do not consider the difficulty that

Maj. You must overcome all difficulties. Assert your right boldly, man! give your own orMaj. So much the better!-so much the bet-ders to servants, and see they observe them; read ter! women are all alike in the main, brother, high or low, married or single, quality or no quality. I have found them so, from a duchess down to a milk-maid.

Oak. Your savage notions are ridiculous. What do you know of a husband's feelings?-You, who comprise all your qualities in your honour, as you call it !-Dead to all sentiments of delicacy, and incapable of any but the grossest attachments to women. This is your boasted refinement, your thorough knowledge of the world! While with regard to women, one poor train of thinking, one narrow set of ideas, like the uniform of the regiment, serves the whole corps.

Maj. Very fine, brother!-there's commonplace for you with a vengeance. Henceforth, expect no quarter from me. I tell you again and again, I know the sex better than you do. They all love to give themselves airs, and to have power every woman is a tyrant at the bottom. But they could never make a fool of me.-No, no! no woman should ever domineer over me, let her be mistress or wife.

Oak. Single men can be no judges in these cases. They must happen in all families. But when things are driven to extremities--to see a woman in uneasiness-a woman one loves tooone's wife-who can withstand it? You neither speak nor think like a man that has loved, and been married, major!

your own letters, and never let her have a sight of them; make your own appointments, and never be persuaded to break them; see what company you like; go out when you please; return when you please, and don't suffer yourself to be called to account where you have been. In short, do but shew yourself a man of spirit, leave off whining about love and tenderness, and nonsense, and the business is done, brother!

Oak. I believe you are in the right, major! I see you're in the right. I'll do it, I'll certainly do it. But then it hurts me to the soul, to think what uneasiness I shall give her. The first opening of my design will throw her into fits, and the pursuit of it perhaps may be fatal.

Maj. Fits! ha, ha, ha!-Fits !-I'll engage to cure her of her fits. Nobody understands hysterical cases better than I do: besides, my sister's symptoms are not very dangerous. Did you ever hear of her falling into a fit when you was not by !-Was she ever found in convulsions in her closet?-No, no, these fits, the more care you take of them, the more you will increase the distemper: let them alone, and they will wear themselves out, I warrant you.

Oak. True-very true-you're certainly in the right-I'll follow your advice. Where do you dine to-day? I'll order the coach, and go with you.

Maj. O brave! keep up this spirit, and you're made for ever.

Oak. You shall see now, major! Who's there?

Enter Servant.

Maj. I wish I could hear a married man speak my language- -I'm a bachelor, it's true; but I am no bad judge of your case for all that. I know yours and Mrs Oakly's disposition to a hair. She is all impetuosity and fire-A very magazine of touchwood and gunpowder. You are hot enough too upon occasion, but then it's over in an instant. In comes love and conjugal affection, as Serv. Now, sir?-the-the-coach! Sir!--you call it; that is, mere folly and weakness-that is my mistress

Order the coach directly. I shall dine out to-day.
Serv. The coach, sir!-Now, sir?
Oak. Ay, now, immediately.

to this instant.

and you draw off your forces, just when you should Oak. Sirrah! do as you're bid. Bid them put pursue the attack, and follow your advantage. Have at her with spirit, and the day's your own, brother!

Oak. I tell you, brother, you mistake the matter. Sulkiness, fits, tears!-These, and such as these, are the things which make a feeling man uneasy. Her passion and violence have not half such an effect on me.

Maj. Why, then, you may be sure, she'll play

Serv. Ye-yes, sir-yes, sir. Oak. Well, where shall we dine?

[Exit.

Maj. At the St Alban's, or where you will. This is excellent, if you do but hold it. Oak. I will have my own way, I am deterini

ned.

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Maj. That's right. Oak. I am steel.

Maj. Bravo!

Oak, Adamant.

Maj. Bravissimo!

Oak. Just what you'd have me.

Maj. Extravagancies with a witness! Ah, you silly young dog, you would ruin yourself with her father, in spite of all I could do. There you sat, as drunk as a lord, telling the old gentleman the

Maj. Why that's well said. But will you do it? whole affair, and swearing you would drive Sir

Oak. I will.

Maj. You won't,

Oak. I will. I'll be a fool to her no longer. But hark ye, major! my hat and sword lie in my study. I'll go and steal them out, while she is busy talking with Charles.

Maj. Steal them! for shame! Pr'ythee take them boldly, call for them, make them bring them to you here, and go out with spirit, in the face of your whole family.

Oak. No, no-you are wrong-let her rave after I am gone, and when I return, you know, I shall exert myself with more propriety, after this open affront to her authority.

Maj. Well, take your own way. Oak. Ay, ay-let me manage it, let me manage it. [Exit. Maj. Manage it! ay, to be sure, you're a rare manager! It is dangerous, they say, to meddle between man and wife. I am no great favourite of Mrs Oakly's already; and in a week's time I expect to have the door shut in my teeth.

Enter CHARles.

How now, Charles, what news?

Char. Ruin'd and undone! she's gone, uncle! my Harriot's lost for ever.

Maj. Gone off with a man?-I thought so: they are all alike.

Char. O no! Fled to avoid that hateful match with Sir Harry Beagle.

Maj. Faith, a girl of spirit!-Joy! Charles, I give you joy; she is your own, my boy!-A fool and a great estate! devilish strong temptations!

Char. A wretch! I was sure she would never think of him.

Maj. No! to be sure! commend me to your modesty! Refuse five thousand a year, and a baronet, for pretty Mr Charles Oakly! It is true, indeed, that the looby has.not a single idea in his head besides a hound, a hunter, a five-barred gate, and a horse-race; but then he's rich, and that will qualify his absurdities. Money is a wonderful improver of the understanding.But whence coines all this intelligence?

Char. In an angry letter from her father.How miserable I am! If I had not offended my Harriot, much offended her by that foolish riot and drinking at your house in the country, she would certainly, at such a time, have taken refuge in my arms.

Maj. A very agreeable refuge for a young lady to be sure, and extremely decent!

Char. I am all uneasiness. Did not she tell me, that she trembled at the thoughts of having trusted her affections with a man of such a wild disposition? What a heap of extravagancies was I guilty of!

Harry Beagle out of the country, though I kept winking and nodding, pulling you by the sleeve, and kicking your shins under the table, in hopes of stopping you, but all to no purpose. Char. What distress may she be in at this instant! Alone and defenceless!-Where? where can she be?

Maj. What relations or friends has she in town?

Char. Relations! let me see:-Faith! I have it.-If she is in town, ten to one but she is at her aunt's, Lady Freelove's. I'll go thither immediately.

Maj. Lady Freelove's! Hold, hold, Charles! do you know her ladyship?

Char. Not much; but I'll break through all forms to get my Harriot.

Maj. I do know her ladyship.

Char. Well, and what do you know of her? Maj. O nothing!-Her ladyship is a woman of the world, that's all—she'll introduce Harriot to the best company.

Char. What do you mean?

Maj. Yes, yes, I would trust a wife, or a daughter, or a mistress with Lady Freelove, to be sure! |--I'll tell you what, Charles! you're a good boy, but you don't know the world. Women are fifty times oftener ruined by their acquaintance with each other, than by their attachment to men. One thorough-paced lady will train up a thousand novices. That Lady Freelove is an arrantBy the bye, did not she, last summer, make formal proposals to Harriot's father from Lord Trinket?

Char. Yes! but they were received with the utmost contempt. The old gentleman, it seems, hates a lord, and he told her so in plain terms.

Maj. Such an aversion to the nobility may not run in the blood. The girl, I warrant you, has no objection. However, if she's there, watch her narrowly, Charles! Lady Freelove is as mischievous as a monkey, and as cunning too.Have a care of her. I say, have a care of her. Char. If she's there, I'll have her out of the house within this half hour, or set fire to it.

Maj. Nay, now you're too violent.--Stay a moment, and we'll consider what's best to be done.

Re-cnter OAKLY.

Oak. Come, is the coach ready? Let us be gone. Does Charles go with us?

Char. I go with you!--What can I do? I am so vext and distracted, and so many thoughts crowd in upon me, I don't know which way to turn myself.

Mrs Oak. [Within.] The coach!-dines out! -where is your master?

Oak, Zounds! brother, here she is!

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