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be positive. For where is the necessity of censuring works without genius, which must shortly sink of themselves? what is it, but aiming our unnecessary blow against a victim already under the hands of justice?

Bail. Justice! O, by the elevens, if you talk about justice, I think I am at home there; for, in a course of law

Hon. My dear Mr Twitch, I discern what you'd be at perfectly, and I believe the lady must be sensible of the art with which it is introduced. I suppose you perceive the meaning, madam, of his course of law?

Miss Rich. I protest, sir, I do not. I perceive only that you answer one gentleman before he has finished, and the other before he has well begun. Bait. Madam, you are a gentlewoman, and I will make the matter out. This here question is about severity and justice, and pardon, and the like of they. Now, to explain the thing— Hon. O curse your explanations.

Enter Servant.

[Aside.

Serv. Mr Leontine, sir, below, desires to speak with you upon earnest business.

Hon. That's lucky! [Aside.] Dear madam, you'll excuse me, and my good friends here, for a few minutes. There are books, madam, to amuse you. Come, gentlemen, you know I make no ceremony with such friends. After you, sir. Excuse me. Well, if I must. But, I know your natural polite

ness.

Bail. Before and behind, you know.

Fol. Ay, ay, before and behind, before and behind.

[Exeunt HONEYWOOD, Bailiff and Follower. Miss Rich. What can all this mean, Garnet? Gar. Mean, madam! Why, what should it mean, but what Mr Lofty sent you here to see? These people he calls officers, are officers sure enough: sheriff's officers; bailiffs, madam.

Miss Rich. Ay, it is certainly so. Well, though his perplexities are far from giving me pleasure, yet, I own, there's something very ridiculous in them, and a just punishment for his dissimulation. Gur. And so they are. But I wonder, madam, that the lawyer you just employed to pay his debts, and set him free, has not done it by this time. He ought at least to have been here before now. But lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles, than out of them.

Enter Sir WILLIAM,

Sir Wil. For Miss Richland to undertake setting him free, I own, was quite unexpected. It has totally unhinged my schemes to reclaim him. Yet it gives me pleasure to find, that, among a number of worthless friendships, he has made one acquisition of real value; for there must be some softer passion on her side that prompts this generosity. Ha! here before me: I'll endeavour to sound her affections.-Madam, as I am the person that have had some demands upon the gentleman of this house, I hope you'll excuse me, if, before I enlarged him, I wanted to see yourself.

Miss Rich. The precaution was very unnecessary, sir. I suppose your wants were only such as my agent had power to satisfy.

Sir Wil. Partly, madam. But I was also willing you should be fully apprized of the character of the gentleman you intended to serve.

Miss Rich. It must come, sir, with a very ill grace from you. To censure it, after what you have done, would look like malice; and to speak favourably of a character you have oppressed, would be impeaching your own. And sure, his tenderness, his humanity, his universal friendship, may atone for many faults.

Sir Wil. That friendship, madam, which is exerted in too wide a sphere, becomes totally useless. Our bounty, like a drop of water, disappears when diffused too widely. They, who pretend most to this universal benevolence, are either deceivers, or dupes: men who desire to cover their private ill-nature by a pretended regard for all; or men who, reasoning themselves into false feelings, are more earnest in pursuit of splendid than of useful virtues.

Miss Rich. I am surprised, sir, to hear one who has probably been a gainer by the folly of others, so severe in his censure of it.

Sir Wil. Whatever I may have gained by folly, madam, you see I am willing to prevent your losing by it.

Miss Rich. Your cares for me, sir, are unnecessary. I always suspect those services which are denied where they are wanted, and offered, perhaps, in hopes of a refusal. No, sir, my directions have been given, and I insist upon their being complied with.

Sir Wil. Thou amiable woman, I can no longer contain the expressions of my gratitude, my pleasure! You see before you one who has been equally careful of his interest: one, who has for some time been a concealed spectator of his follies, and only punished, in hopes to reclaim them-his uncle!

Miss Rich. Sir William Honeywood! You amaze me. How shall I conceal my confusion? I fear, sir, you'll think I have been too forward in my services. I confess I

Sir Wil. Don't make any apologies, madam: I only find myself unable to repay the obligation. And yet, I have been trying my interest of late to serve you. Having learnt, madam, that you had some demands upon government, I have, though unasked, been your solicitor there.

Miss Rich. Sir, I'm infinitely obliged to your intentions; but my guardian has employed another gentleman, who assures him of success.

Sir Wil. Who, the important little man that visits here? Trust me, madam, he's quite contemptible among men in power, and utterly unable to serve you. Mr Lofty's promises are much better known to people of fashion than his person, I assure you.

Miss Rich. How have we been deceived! As sure as can be here he comes.

Sir Wil. Does he? Remember I'm to continue unknown. My return to England has not as yet

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Lof. Let the chariot-let my chariot drive off; I'll visit to his grace's in a chair. Miss Richland here before me! Punctual, as usual, to the calls of humanity. I'm very sorry, madam, things of this kind should happen, especially to a man I have shewn every where, and carried amongst us as a particular acquaintance.

Miss Rich. I find, sir, you have the art of making the misfortunes of others your own.

Lof. My dear madam, what can a private man like me do? One man cann't do every thing; and then I do so much in this way every day: let me see, something considerable might be done for him by subscription; it could not fail, if I carried the list. I'll undertake to set down a brace of dukes, two dozen lords, and half the lower house, at my own peril.

Sir Wil. And after all, it's more than probable, sir, he might reject the offer of such powerful patronage.

Lof. Then, madam, what can we do? You know I never make promises. In truth, I once or twice tried to do something with him in the way of business; but, as I often told his uncle, Sir William Honeywood, the man was utterly impracticable.

Sir Wil. His uncle! Then that gentleman, I suppose, is a particular friend of yours.

Lof. Meaning me, sir?-Yes, madam, as I often said, my dear Sir William, you are sensible I would do any thing, as far as my poor interest goes, to serve your family; but what can be done? there's no procuring first-rate places for ninthrate abilities.

Miss Rich. I have heard of Sir William Honeywood; he's abroad in employment; he confided in your judgment, I suppose.

Lof. Why, yes, madam; I believe Sir William had some reason to confide in my judgment; one little reason, perhaps.

Miss Rich. Pray, sir, what was it?

Lof. Why, madam-but let it go no furtherit was I procured him a place.

Sir Wil. Did you, sir?

Lof. Either you or I, sir.

Miss Rich. This, Mr Lofty, was very kind indeed.

Lof. I did love him, to be sure; he had some amusing qualities; no man was fitter to be toastmaster to a club, or had a better head.

Miss Rich. A better head?

Lof. Ay, at a bottle. To be sure, he was as dull as a choice spirit; but, hang it, he was grateful, very grateful; and gratitude hides a multitude of faults.

Sir Wil. He might have reason, perhaps. His place is pretty considerable, I'm told.

Lof. A trifle, a mere trifle, among us men of business. The truth is, he wanted dignity to fill up a greater.

Sir Wil. Dignity of person, do you mean, sir? I'm told he's much about my size and figure, sir.

Lof. Ay, tall enough for a marching regiment; but then he wanted a something-a consequence of form-a kind of a—I believe the lady perceives my meaning?

Miss Rich. O perfectly; you courtiers can do any thing, I see.

Lof. My dear madam, all this is but a mere exchange; we do greater things for one another every day. Why, as thus, now: let me suppose you the first lord of the treasury, you have an employment in you that I want; I have a place in me that you want; do me here, do you there; interest of both sides, few words, flat done and done, and it's over.

Sir Wil. A thought strikes me. [Aside.] Now you mention Sir William Honeywood, madam, and as he seems, sir, an acquaintance of yours, you'll be glad to hear he's arrived from Italy; I had it from a friend who knows him as well as he does me, and you may depend on my infor mation.

Lof. The devil he is! If I had known that, we should not have been quite so well acquainted

[Aside.

Sir Wil. He is certainly returned; and, as this gentleman is a friend of yours, he can be of signal service to us, by introducing me to him; there are some papers relative to your affairs, that require dispatch and his inspection.

Miss Rich. This gentleman, Mr Lofty, is a per son employed in my affairs: I know you'll serveus. Lof. My dear madam, I live but to serve yo Sir William shall even wait upon him, if you think proper to command it.

Sir Wil. That would be quite unnecessary. Lof. Well, we must introduce you then. "Call upon me-let me see-ay, in two days. Sir Wil. Now, or the opportunity will be lost for ever.

Lof. Well, if it must be now, now let it be. But, damn it, that's unfortunate; my Lord Grig's cursed Pensacola business comes on this very hour, and I'm engaged to attend-Another time

Sir Wil. A short letter to Sir William will do. Lof. You shall have it; yet, in my opinion, a letter is a very bad way of going to work; face to face, that's my way.

Sir Wil. The letter, sir, will do quite as well. Lof. Zounds, sir, do you pretend to direct me; direct me in the business of office? Do you know me, sir? Who am I?

Miss Rich. Dear Mr Lofty, this request is not so much his as mine; if my commands—but you despise my power.

Lof. Delicate creature! your commands could even controul a debate at midnight; to a power so constitutional, I am all obedience and tranquillity. He shall have a letter; where is my secretary, Dubardieu? And yet, I protest I don't like this way of doing business. I think, if I spoke first to Sir William-But you will have it so. Exit with Miss RICH.

Sir Wil. Ha, ha, ha! This too is one of my nephew's hopeful associates. O vanity, thou constant deceiver, how do all thy efforts to exalt, serve but to sink us! Thy false colourings, like those employed to heighten beauty, only seem to mend that bloom which they contribute to destroy! I'm not displeased at this interview; exposing this fellow's impudence to the contempt it deserves, may be of use to my design; at least, if he can reffect, it will be of use to himself,

Enter JARVIS.

Sir Wil. How now, Jarvis; where's your master, my nephew?

Jar. At his wit's end, I believe: he's scarce gotten out of one scrape, but he's running his head into another.

Sir Wil. How so?

Jar. The house has but just been cleared of the bailiffs, and now he's again engaging tooth and nail in assisting old Croaker's son to patch up a clandestine match with the young lady that passes in the house for his sister.

Sir Wil. Ever busy to serve others.

Jar. Ay, any body but himself. The young couple, it seems, are just setting out for Scotland, and he supplies them with money for the journey.

Sir Wil. Money! how is he able to supply others, who has scarce any for himself?

Jar. Why, there it is; he has no money, that's true; but then, as he never said no to any request in his life, he has given them a bill drawn by a friend of his upon a merchant in the city, which I am to get changed; for you must know that I am to go with them to Scotland myself. Sir Wil. How !

Jar. It seems the young gentleman is obliged to take a different road from his mistress, as he is to call upon an uncle of his that lives out of the way, in order to prepare a place for their reception, when they return; so they have borrowed me from my master, as the properest person to attend the young lady down.

Sir Wil. To the land of matrimony! A plea sant journey, Jarvis.

Jar. Ay, but I'm only to have all the fatigues on't.

Sir Wil. Well, it may be shorter, and less fatiguing, than you imagine. I know but too much of the young lady's family and connections, whom I have seen abroad. I have also discover'd that Miss Richland is not indifferent to my thoughtless nephew; and will endeavour, tho' I fear, in vain, to establish that connection. But, come, the letter I wait for must be almost finish'd ; I'll let you further into my intentions in the next room.

[Exeunt.

ACT IV.

SCENE I.-CROAKER'S House.

Enter LOFTY.

Lof. Well, sure the devil's in me of late, for running my head into such defiles, as nothing but a genius like my own could draw me from. I was formerly contented to husband out my places and pensions with some degree of frugality; but, curse it! of late I have given away the whole court register in less time than they could print the titlepage; yet, hang it, why scruple a lie or two to come at a fine girl, when I every day tell a thousand for nothing? Ha! Honeywood here before me. Could Miss Richland have set him at liberty?

Enter HONEYWOOD.

Mr Honeywood, I'm glad to see you abroad again. I find my concurrence was not necessary in your unfortunate affairs. I had put things in a train to do your business; but it is not for me to say what I intended doing.

Hon. It was unfortunate indeed, sir. But what adds to my uneasiness is, that, while you seem to be acquainted with my misfortune, I myself continue still a stranger to my benefactor.

Lof. How! not know the friend that served you?
Hon. Cann't guess at the person.

Lof. Enquire.

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Lof. I suppose now, Mr Honeywood, you think my rent-roll very considerable, and that I have vast sums of money to throw away; I know you do. The world, to be sure, says such things of me.

Hon. The world, by what I learn, is no stranger to your generosity. But where does this tend?

Lof. To nothing; nothing in the world. The town, to be sure, when it makes such a thing as me the subject of conversation, has asserted, that I never yet patronized a man of merit.

Hon. I have heard instances to the contrary, even from yourself.

Lof. Yes, Honeywood, and there are instances to the contrary, that you shall never hear from myself.

Hon. Ha, dear sir, permit me to ask you but one question.

Lof. Sir, ask me no questions: I say, sir, ask me no questions; I'll be damn'd if I answer them. Hon. I will ask no further. My friend, my be

Hon. I have, but all I can learn is, that henefactor, it is, it must be here, that I am indebted

for freedom, for honour. Yes, thou worthiest of men, from the beginning I suspected it, but was afraid to return thanks; which, if undeserved, might seem reproaches.

Lof. I protest I don't understand all this, Mr Honeywood. You treat me very cavalierly. I do assure you, sir-Blood, sir! cann't a man be permitted to enjoy the luxury of his own feelings without all this parade?

Hon. Nay, do not attempt to conceal an action that adds to your honour. Your looks, your air, your manner, all confess it.

Lof. Confess it, sir! Torture itself, sir, shall never bring me to confess it. Mr Honeywood, I have admitted you upon terms of friendship. Don't let us fall out; make me happy, and let this be buried in oblivion. You know I hate ostentation; you know I do-Come, come, Honeywood, you know I always loved to be a friend, and not a patron. I beg this may make no kind of distance between us. Come, come, you and I must be more familiar—indeed we must.

Hon. Heavens! can I ever repay such friendship? Is there any way? Thou best of men, can I ever return the obligation?

Lof. A bagatelle, a mere bagatelle. But I see your heart is labouring to be grateful. You shall be grateful. It would be cruel to disappoint you. Hon. How? Teach me the manner. Is there any way?

himself to serve me. It shall be so. Yes, I will discard the fondling hope from my bosom, and exert all my influence in his favour. And yet to see her in the possession of another!-İnsupportable. But then to betray a generous, trusting friend!-Worse, worse. Yes, I'm resolved. Let me but be the instrument of their happiness, and then quit a country, where I must for ever despair of finding my own. [Erit.

Enter OLIVIA and GARNET, who carries a Mil liner's Box.

Oliv. Dear me, I wish this journey were over. No news of Jarvis yet? I believe the old peevish creature delays purely to vex me.

Gar. Why, to be sure, madam, I did hear him say, a little snubbing before marriage would teach you to bear it the better afterwards.

Oliv. To be gone a full hour, tho' he had only to get a bill changed in the city! How provoking! Gar. I'll lay my life, Mr Leontine, that had twice as much to do, is setting off by this time from his inn; and here you are left behind.

Oliv. Well, let us be prepared for his coming, however. Are you sure you have omitted nothing, Garnet?

Gur. Not a stick, madam-all's here.-Yet I wish you could take the white and silver to be married in.-It's the worst luck in the world, in any thing but white. I knew one Bett Stubbs

Lof. From this moment you're mine. Yes, my of our town, that was married in red; and, sure friend, you shall know it-I'm in love.

Hon. And can I assist you?

Lof. Nobody so well.

Hon. In what manner? I'm all impatience.
Lof. You shall make love for me.

Hon. And to whom shall I speak in your favour? Lof. To a lady with whom you have great interest, I assure you-Miss Richland.

Hon. Miss Richland!

Lof. Yes, Miss Richland. She has struck the blow up to the hilt in my bosom, by Jupiter.

Hon. Heavens! was ever any thing more unfortunate! It is too much to be endured.

Lof. Unfortunate indeed! and yet I can endure it, till you have opened the affair to her for me. Between ourselves, I think she likes me. apt to boast, but I think she does.

I'm not

Hon. Indeed! But do you know the person you apply to ?

Lof. Yes, I know you are her friend and mine: that's enough. To you, therefore, I commit the success of my passion. I'll say no more, let friendship do the rest. I have only to add, that, if at any time my little interest can be of service-but, hang it, I'll make no promises-you know my interest is yours at any time. No apologies, my friend; I'll not be answered, it shall be so. [Exit. Hon. Open, generous, unsuspecting man! he little thinks that I love her too; and with such an ardent passion!But then it was ever but a vain and hopeless one; my torment, my persecution! What shall I do! Love, friendship, a hopeless passino, a deserving friend! Love, that has been my tormentor; a friend, that has, perhaps, distress'd

as eggs is eggs, the bridegroom and she had a miff before morning.

Oliv. No matter.are out of the house.

-I'm all impatience till we

Gar. Bless me, madam, I had almost forgot the wedding ring!- -The sweet little thing!! don't think it would go on my little finger. And what if I put in a gentleman's night-cap, in case of necessity, madam? But here's Jarvis.

Enter JARVIS.

Oliv. O, Jarvis, are you come at last? We have been ready this half hour. Now let's be going Let us fly!

Jar. Ay, to Jericho ; for we shall have no going to Scotland this bout, I fancy.

Oliv. How! what's the matter?

Jar. Money, money is the matter, madam. We have got no money. What the plague do you send me of your fool's errand for? My master's bill upon the city is not worth a rush. Here it is; Mrs Garnet may pin up her hair with it.

Olin. Undone! How could Honeywood serve us so! What shall we do? Cann't we go without it?

Jar. Go to Scotland without money! To Scot land without money! Lord, how some people understand geography! We might as well set sail for Patagonia upon a cork-jacket.

Oliv. Such a disappointment! What a base insincere man was your master, to serve us in this manner! Is this his good-nature?

Jar. Nay, don't talk ill of my master, madam. I won't bear to hear any body talk ill of him but myself.

Gar. Bless us! now I think on't, madam, you need not be under any uneasiness: I saw Mr Leontine receive forty guineas from his father just before he set out, and he cann't yet have left the inn. A short letter will reach him there.

Oliv. Well remember'd, Garnet; I'll write immediately.-How's this?-Bless me, my hand trembles so I cann't write a word. Do you write, Garnet; and, upon second thought, it will be better from you.

Gar. Truly, madam, I write and indite but poorly. I never was cute at my larning. But I'll do what I can to please you. Let me see. All out of my own head, I suppose?

Oliv. Whatever you please.

There's old Croaker has just pick'd it up, and is this moment reading it to himself in the hall. Oliv. Unfortunate! We shall be discover'd. Gar. No, madam: don't be uneasy; he can make neither head nor tail of it. To be sure he looks as if he was broke loose from Bedlam about it, but he cann't find what it means for all that. O Lud, he is coming this way all in the horrors!

Oliv. Then let us leave the house this instant, for fear he should ask farther questions. In the mean time, Garnet, do you write, and send off just such another. [Exeunt.

Enter CROAKER.

Cro. Death and destruction! Are all the hor

Gar. [Writing.] Muster Croaker-Twenty gui- rors of air, fire, and water, to be levelled only at neas, madam?

Oliv. Ay, twenty will do.

Gar. At the bar of the Talbot till call'd for.Expedition-We'll be blown up-All of a flame -Quick, dispatch—Cupid, the little God of Love I conclude it, madam, with Cupid; I love to see a love-letter end like poetry.

Oliv. Well, well, what you please, any thing. But how shall we send it? I can trust none of the servants of this family.

Gar. Odso, madam, Mr Honeywood's butler is in the next room; he's a dear, sweet man; he'll do any thing for me.

Jar. He! the dog, he'll certainly commit some blunder. He's drunk and sober ten times a day. Oliv. No matter. Fly, Garnet; any body we can trust will do. [Exit GARNET.] Well, Jarvis, now we can have nothing more to interrupt us. You may take up the things, and carry them on to the inn. Have you no hands, Jarvis?

Jar. Soft and fair, young lady. You that are going to be married, think things can never be done too fast; but we that are old, and know what we are about, must elope methodically, madam.

Oliv. Well, sure, if my indiscretions were to be done over again

Jur. My life for it, you would do them ten times over.

Oliv. Why will you talk so? If you knew how unhappy they make me-

Jur. Very unhappy, no doubt: I was once just as unhappy when I was going to be married myself. I'll tell you a story about that

Oliv. A story! when I'm all impatience to be away. Was there ever such a dilatory creature !— Jur. Well, madam, if we must march, why we will march; that's all. Tho', odds bobs, we have still forgot one thing, we should never travel without a case of good razors, and a box of shaving-powder. But no matter; I believe we shall be pretty well shaved by the way. [Going

Enter GARNET.

Gar. Undone, undone, madam! Ah, Mr Jarvis, you said right enough. As sure as death Mr Honeywood's rogue of a drunken butler dropp'd the letter before he went ten yards from the door. VOL. IV.

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me? Am I only to be singled out for gunpowderplots, combustibles, and conflagration?-Here it is-An incendiary letter dropp'd at my door. To Muster Croaker, these with speed.' Ay, ay, plain enough the direction: all in the genuine incendiary spelling, and as cramp as the devil. 'With speed.' O, confound your speed! But let me read it once more. [Reads.] Muster Croaker, as soon as yowe see this, leve twenty gunnes at the bar of the Talbood tell caled for, or yowe and yower experetion will be al blown up." Ah, but too plain. Blood and gunpowder in every line of it. Blown up! murderous dog! All blown up!-Heavens! what have I and my poor family done, to be all blown up! [Reads.] Our pockets are low, and money we must have.' Ay, there's the reason; they'll blow us up because they have got low pockets. [Reads.] It is but a short time you have to consider; for if this takes wind, the house will be all quickly of a flame.' Inhuman monsters! blow us up, and then burn us. The earthquake at Lisbon was but a bonfire to it. [Reads.] Make quick dispatch, and so no more at present. But may Cupid, the little God of Love, go with you wherever you go.' The little God of Love! Cupid, the little God of Love, go with me! Go you to the devil, you and your little Cupid together! I'm so frightened, I scarce know whether I sit, stand or go. Perhaps this moment I'm treading on lighted matches, blazing brim. stone, and barrels of gunpowder. They are preparing to blow me up into the clouds. Murder! We shall be all burnt in our beds; we shall be all burnt in our beds!

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Enter Miss RICHLAND. Miss Rich. Lord, sir, what's the matter? Cro. Murder's the matter. We shall be all blown up in our beds before morning.

Miss Rich. I hope not, sir.

Cro, What signifies what you hope, madam, when I have a certificate of it here in ny hand. Will nothing alarm my family! Sleeping and eating, sleeping and eating, is the only work from morning till night in my house. My insensible crew could sleep, though rock'd by an earthquake ; and fry beef steaks at a volcano.

Miss Rich. But, sir, you have alarmed them so 2 L

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