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forward. And so you have at last brought them Tony. (Aside.] Father-in-law, by all that's ushome again.
lucky, come to take one of his night walks. (To Tony. You shall hear. I first took them down her.] Ah, it's a highwayman with pistols as long Feather-bed lane, where we stuck fast in the mud. as my arm. A damo'd ill-looking fellow. I then rattled them crack over the stones of Up Mrs Hurd. Good heaven defend us! He apand-down Hill-I then introduced them to the proaches gibbet on Heavy-tree Heath, and from that, with Tony. Do you hide yourself in that thicket, a circumbendibus, I fairlylodged them in the horse- and leave me to manage him. If there be any pond at the bottom of the garden.
danger, I'll cough and cry hem. When I cough Hust. But no accident, I hope?
be sure to keep close. Tony. No, no. Only mother is confoundedly (Mrs HARDCASTLE hides behind a tree is the frightened. She thinks herself forty miles off.
back scene. She's sick of the journey, and the cattle can scarce crawl. So, if your own horses be ready, you may
Enter HARDCASTLE. whip off with cousin, and I'll be bound that no Hard. I'm mistaken, or I heard voices of pez soul here can budge a foot to follow you. ple in want of help. Oh, Tony, is that you? I
Hust. My dear friend, how can I be grateful ? did not expect you so soon back. Are your mo
Tony. Aỳ, now it's dear friend, noble 'squire. ther and her charge in safety? Just now it was all idiot, cub, and run me through Tony. Very safe, sir, at my aunt Pedigree's the guts. Damn your way of fighting, I say. Af- Hem ! ter we take a knock in this part of the country, Mrs Hard. (From behind.) Ah death! I fird we kiss and be friends. But if you had run me
there's danger. through the guts, then I should be dead, and you Hard. Forty miles in three hours ? sure, that's might go kiss the hangman.
too much, my youngster. Hast. The rebuke is just. But I must hasten Tony. Stout horses, and willing minds, make to relieve Miss Neville ; if you keep the old lady short journies, as they say. Hem! employed, I promise to take care of the young Mrs Hard. (From behind.) Sure he'll do the
(Exit Hastings. dear boy no harm. Tony. Never fear me. Here she comes. Va Hurd. But I heard a voice here; I should be nish. She's got from the pond, and draggled up glad to know from whence it came? to the waist like a mermaid.
Tony. It was I, sir, talking to myself, sir. I
was saying that forty miles in three houts was Enter Mrs HARDCASTLE.
very good going. Hem! As to be sure it was. Mrs Hard. Oh, Tony, I'm killed! Shook! Bat- Hem! I have got a sort of cold by being out in tered to death ! I shall never survive it. That the air. We'll go in if you please. Hem! last jolt, that laid us against the quickset hedge, Hard. But if you talk'd to yourself, you did has done my business.
not answer yourself. I am certain I heard two Tony. Alack, mamma! it was all yourown fault. voices, and am resolved (Raising his voice.] to find You would be for running away by night, without the other out. knowing one inch of the way.
Mrs Hurd. (From behind.) Oh! he's coming Mrs Hard. I wish we were at home again. I to find me out. Oh! never met so many accidents in so short a jour Tony. What need you go, sir, if I tell you? ney. Drench'd in the mud, overturn'd in a ditch, Hem! I'll lay down my lite for the truth-Hem stuck fast in a slough, jolted io a jelly, and at -I'll tell you all, sir.
[Detaining his last to lose our way. Whereabouts do you think Hard. I tell you, I will not be detained. Inwe are, Tony?
sist on seeing. It's in vain to expect I'll believe Tony. By my guess we should be upon Crack- you. skull common, about forty miles from home. Mrs Hard. [Running forward from behind.
Mrs Hurd. 'O lud ! O lud! the most notorious O lud, he'll murder my poor boy, my darling. spot in all the country. We only want a robbery Here, good gentleman, whet your rage upon me. to make a complete night on't.
Take my money, my life, but spare that young Tony. Don't be afraid, mamma, don't be afraid. gentleman, spare my child, if you have any iner• Two of the five that kept here are hanged, and cy. the other three may not find us. Don't be afraid. Hard. My wife, as I am a Christian ! From Is that a man that's galloping behind us ? No; whence does she come, or what does she mean? it's only a tree. Don't be afraid.
Mrs Hard. (Kneeling.] Take compassion on Mrs Hard. The fright will certainly kill me. us, good Mr Highwayman. Take our money,
Tony. Do you see any thing like a black hat our watches, all we have! but spare our lives moving behind the thicket?
We will never bring you to justice, indeed we Mrs Har1. O death !
won't, good Mr Highwayman. Tony. No, it's only a cow. Don't be afraid, Hard. I believe the woman's out of her senses. mamma; don't be afraid.
What, Dorothy, don't you know me? Mrs Hard. As I'm alive, Tony, I see a man Mrs Hard. Mr Hardcastle, as I'm alive! My coming towards us. Ah! I'm sure on't. If he fears blinded me. But who, my dear, could have perceives us, we are undone !
expected to meet you here, in this frightful place;
so far from home? What has brought you to fol
Enter MARLOW. low us?
Mar. Though prepared for setting out, I come Hard, Sure, Dorothy, you have not lost your
once more to take leave; nor did I, till this mowits. So far from home! when you are with ment, know the pain I feel in the separation. in forty yards of your own door. (To him.] This
Miss Hard. (In her own natural manner.] I beis one of your old tricks, you graceless rogue you. lieve these sufferings cannot be very great, sir, (To her.) Don't you know the gate, and the mul.
which you can so easily remove. berry-tree; and don't you remember the horse- longer, perhaps, might lessen your uneasiness, by
A day or two pond, my dear? Mrs Hard. Yes, I shall remember the horse shewing the little value of what you now think
proper to regret. pond as long as I live; I have caught my death
Mur. [Aside.) This girl every moment imin it. (To TONY.] And is it to you, you graceless proves upon me. (To her.) It must not be, mavarlet, I owe all this? I'll teach you to abuse dam. I have already trifled too much with my your mother, I will.
heart. My very pride begins to submit to my Tony. Ecod, mother, all the parish says you passion. The disparity of education and fortune, have spoiled me, and so you may take the fruits
the anger of a parent, and the contempt of my on't.
equals, begin to lose their weight; and nothing Mrs Hard. I'll spoil you, I will.
can restore me to myself, but this painful effort (Follows him off the stage. Exeunt. of resolution. Hard. There's morality, however, in his reply. Miss Hard. Then go, sir. I'll urge nothing
more to detain you. Though my family be as Enter HASTINGS and Miss NEVILLE.
good as her's you came down to visit, and my
education, I hope, not inferior, what are these Hast. My dear Constance, why will you deli- 1. advantages without equal afluence? I must reberate thus? If we delay a moment, all is lost for main contented with the slight approbation of
Pluck up a little resolution, and we shall imputed merit; I must have only the mockery of soon be out of the reach of her malignity.
your addresses, while all your serious aims are Miss Nen. I find it impossible. My spirits are fixed on fortune. so sunk with the agitations I have suffered, that I am unable to face any new danger. Two or
Enter HARDCASTLE and Sir CHARLES MARthree years patience will at last crown us with
Low from behind. happiness.
Sir Chur. Here, behind this screen. Hast. Such a tedious delay is worse than in Hurd. Ay, ay, make no noise. I'll engage my constancy. Let us fly, my chariner. Let us date Kate covers hin with confusion at last. our happiness from this very moment. Perish for Mur. By heavens, madam, fortune was ever tune ! Love and content will increase what we my smallest consideration. Your beauty at first possess beyond a monarch's revenue. Let me caught my eye; for who could see that without prevail.
emotion? But every moment that I converse Miss Nev. No, Mr Hastings, no. Prudence with you steals in some new grace, heightens the once more comes to my relief, and I will obey picture, and gives it stronger expression. What its dictates. In the moment of passion, fortune at first seemed rustic plainness, now appears remay be despised, but it ever produces a lasting fined simplicity. What seemed forward assurance, repentance. I'm resolved to apply to Mr Hard
now strikes me as the result of courageous innocastle's compassion and justice for redress. cence and conscious virtue.
Hast. But though he had the will, he has not Sir Chur. What can it mean? He amazes me! the power to relieve you.
Hard. I told you how it would be. Hush ! Miss Nev. But he has influence, and upon that Mar. I am now determined to stay, madam, I am resolved to rely.
and I have too good an opinion of my father's Hast. I have no hopes; but, since you persist, discernment, when he sees you, to doubt his apI must reluctantly obey you.
Miss Hard. No, Mr Marlow, I will not, cannot
think I could suffer a conEnter Sir CHARLES Marlow and Miss Hard. nection, in which there is the smallest room for
repentance? Do you think I would take the
mean advantage of a transient passion, to load Sir Char. What a situation am I in! If what you with confusion? Do you think I could ever you say appears, I shall then find a guilty son ;
relish that happiness which was acquired by lesif what he says be true, I shall then lose one sening yours? that, of all others, I most wished for a daughter. Mur. By all that's good, I can have no happi
Miss Hard. I am proud of your approbation, ness but what's in your power to grant me; nor and, to shew I merit it, if you place yourselves as shall I ever feel repentance, but in not having I directed, you shall hear his explicit declaration. seen your merits before. I will stay even conBut he comes.
trary to your wishes; and, though you should perSir Char. I'll to your father, and keep him to sist to shun me, I will make my respectful assithe appointment. [Exit Sir CHARLES. | duities atone for the levity of my past conduct.
Miss Har". Sir, I must entreat you'll desist. Mrs Hard. Well, if he has taken away the lar, As our acquaintance began, so let it end, in in- he has not taken her fortune; that remainis in this difference. I might have given an hour or two family to console us for her loss. to levity; but seriously, Mr Marlow, do you think Hard. Sure, Dorothy, you would not be so mer. I could ever submit to a connection, where I cenary? must appear mercenary, and you imprudent? Do Mrs Hard. Ay, that's my affair not you think I could ever catch at the confident ad- you know if your son, when of age, refuses to mardresses of a secure admirer?
ry his cousin, her whole fortune is then at her Mar. (Kneeling.) Does this look like searity? own disposal. Does this look like confidence? No, madam, Hurd. Ay, but he's not of age, and she has not every moment that shews me your merit, only thought proper to wait for his refusal. serves to increase my diffidence and confusion.
Enter Hastings and Miss NEVILLE. Here lct me continue
Sir Char. I can hold it no longer. Charles, Mrs Hurd. (Aside.) What, returned so soon; I Charles, how hast thou deceived me! Is this your begin not to like it. indifference, your uninteresting conversation ? Hast. [To HARDCASTLE.) For my late attempt
Hard. Your cold contempt ; your formal inter to fly off with your niece, let my present confusion view? What have you to say now?
be my punishment. We are now come back, to Mur. That I'm all amazement! What can it appeal from your justice to your humanity. By mean?
her father's consent, I first paid my addresses, and Hard. It means that you can say and unsay our passions were first founded in duty. things at pleasure. That you can address a lady Miss Nev. Since his death, I have been obliged in private, and deny it in public; that you have to stoop to dissimulation to avoid oppression. In one story for us, and another for my daughter. an hour of levity, I was ready even to give up my
Mar. Daughter!-this lady your daughter? fortune to secure my choice. But I am now reHard. Yes, sir, my only daughter ; my Kate; cover'd from the delusion, and hope from your whose else should she be?
tenderness what is denied me from a nearer conMar. Oh, the devil!
nection. Miss Hard. Yes, sir, that very identical tall Mrs Hard. Pshaw, pshaw! this is all but the squinting lady you were pleased to take me for whining end of a modern novel. (Curtseying. She that
addressed as the mild, Hard. Be it what it will, I'm glad they are modest, sentimental man of gravity, and the bold, come back to reclaim their due. Come hither, forward, agreeable Rattle of the ladies' club; ha, Tony boy. Do you refuse this lady's band whom ha, ha!
I now offer you? Mar. Zounds! there's no bearing this; it's Pony. What signifies my refusing? You know worse than death.
I cann't refuse her till I'm of age, father. will you give us leave to address you? As the fal boy, was likely to conduce to your improvement, tering gentleman, with looks on the ground, that I concurred with your mother's desire to keep it speaks just to be heard, and hates hypocrisy; or secret ; but, since I find she turns it to a wrong the loud confident creature, that keeps it up with lise, I must now declare, you have been of age Mrs Mantrap, and old Mrs Biddy Buckskin, till these three months. three in the morning; ha, ha, ha!
Tony. Of age! Am I of age, father? Mar. O, curse on my noisy head! I rever at Hard. Above three months. tempted to be impudent yet, that I was not taken Tony. Then you'll see the first use I'll make down. I must be gone.
of my liberty. Taking Miss Neville's hard. Hard. By the hand of my bodly, but you shall Witness all men hy tivese presents, that I, Annot. I see it was all a mistake, and I am rejoiced thony Lumpkin, Esquire, of blank place, refuse to find it. You shall not, sir, I tell you. I know you, Constantia Neville, spinster, of no place at she'll forgive you. Won't you forgive him, Kate? all, for my true and lawful wife. So Constantia We'll all forgive you. Take
Neville may marry whom she pleases, and Tony [They retire, she tormenting him to the buck scene. Lumpkin is his own man again.
Sir Chur. O brave 'squire !
Ilast. My worthy friend!
Mar. Joy, my dear George, I give you joy sioHard. Who gone?
cerely; and, could I prevail upon my little tyrant Mrs Hard. My dutiful niece and her gentle here to be less arbitrary, I should be the bappiest man, Mr Hastings, from town. He who came man alive if you would return me the favour. down with our modest visitor here.
Hast. (To Miss HARDCASTLE.] Come, madam, Sir Char. Who, my honest George Hastings ? you are now driven to the very last scene of all As worthy a fellow as lives, and the girl could not your contrivances. I know you like him, I'm sure have made a more prudent choice.
he loves you, and you must and shall have him. Hurd. Then by the hand of my vody, I'm proud Hard. (Joining their hunds.] And I say so too. of the connection).
And, Mr Marlow, if she makes as good a wite as
she has a daughter, I don't believe you'll ever re
crown'd with a merry morning; so, boy, take her: pent your bargain. So now to supper. To-mor- and, as you have been mistaken in the mistress, row we shall gather all the poor of the parish my wish is that you may never be mistaken in the about us, and the mistakes of the night shall be I wife.
BY DR GOLDSMITH.
WELL, having stooped to conquer with success, On 'squires and cits she there displays her arts, And gained a husband without aid from dress, And on the gridiron broils her lovers' heartsStill as a bar-maid I could wish it too,
And as she smiles, her triumph to complete, As I have conquer'd him to conquer you :
Even commou councilmen forget to eat. And let me say, for all your resolution,
The fourth act shews her wedded to the 'squire, That pretty bar-maids have done execution. And madam now begins to hold it higher ; Our life is all a play, composed to please,
Pretends to taste, at operas cries caro, “We have our exits and our entrances.
And quits her Nancy Dawson for Che Faro; The first act shews the simple country maid, Dotes upon dancing, and in all her pride, Harmless and young, of ev'ry thing afraid; Swims round the room, the Heinel of CheapBlushes when hired, and with unmeaning action,
side; I hopes as how to give you satisfaction.” Ogles and leers with artificial skill, Her second act displays a livelier scene,
rill, having lost in age the power to kill, Th' unblushing bar-maid of a country inn ;
She sits all night at cards, and ogles at spadille. Who whisks about the house, at market caters, Such, through our lives the eventful history, Talks loud, coquets the guests, and scolds the The fifth and last act still remains for me. waiters.
The bar-maid now for your protection prays, Next the scene shifts to town, and there she Turns female barrister, and pleads for Bayes,
soars, The chop-house toast of ogling connoissieurs.
SPOKEN BY MR SMITH.
VARIOUS the shifts of authors now-a-days, The recreant bard, oh ! scandal to the age ! For operas, farces, pantomimes, and plays; Gleams the vile refuse of the Gallic stage. Some scour each alley of the town for wit, Not so our bard-To-night, he bids me say, Begging from door to door the offal bit ;
You shall receive and judge an English play. Plunge in each cellar, tumble every stall, From no man's jest he draws felonious praise, And scud, like tailors, to each house of call; Nor from his neighbour's garden crops his bays; Gut every novel, strip each monthly muse, From his own breast the filial story flows; And pillage poet's corner of its news :
And the free scene no foreign master knows : That done, they melt the stale farrago down, Nor only tenders he his work as new; And set their dish of scraps before the town; He hopes 'tis good, or would not give it you: Boldly invite you to their pilfer'd store,
True homely ware, and made of homely stuff, Cram you, then wonder you can eat no more. Right British drugget, honest, warm and rough.
Some, in our English classics deeply read, No station'd friends he seeks, no hired applause; Ransack the tombs of the illustrious dead; But constitutes you jurors in his cause. Hackney the muse of Shakespear o'er and o'er, For fame he writes-Should folly be his doom, From shoulder to the flank, all drench'd in gore. Weigh well your verdict, and then give it home:
Others, to foreign climes and kingdoms roam, Should you applaud, let that applause be true; To search for what is better found at home: For undeserved, it shames both him and you.
FRANCIS, Servant to Belfield Junior.
JONATHAN, Servant to Sir Benjamin.
SOPHIA, Sir Benjamin's Daughter,
VIOLETTA, Wife to Belfield Senior.
Sailors, &c. &c.