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in the torrid zone. I shall be wasted to the size Bel. Oh, yes: 'tis the only way I can ever fall of a sugar-cane. What shall I do? give the chase in love: any man may tumble into a pit by surup! Hang it, that's cowardly. Shall I, a true- prise; none but a fool would walk into one by born son of Phæbus, suffer this little nimble-choice. footed Daphne to escape me? Forbid it, Mrs Ful. You are a hasty lover, it seems; honour, and forbid it, love. -Hush, hush have you spirit to be a generous one? They that
-here she comes. - -Oh, the devil! will please the eye must not spare the purse. What tawdry thing have we got here?
Bel. Try me; put me to the proof! bring me
to an interview with the dear girl that has thus Enter Mrs FULMER.
captivated me, and see whether I have spirit to Mrs Ful. Your humble servant, sir,
be grateful. Bel. Your humble servant, madam.
Mis Ful. But how, pray, am I to know the Mrs Ful. A fine summer day, sir.
girl you have set your heart on ? Bel. Yes, madam, and so cool, that, if the ka Bel. By an indescribable grace, that accomlendar did not call it July, I should swear it was panies every look and action that falls from her: January.
there can be but one such woman in the world, Mrs Ful, Sir!
and nobody can mistake that one. Bel. Madam!
Mrs Ful. Well, if i should stumble upon this Mrs Ful. Do you wish to speak to Mr Fulmer, angel in my walks, where ain I to find you? sir ?
What's your name? Bel. Mr Fulmer, madam? I have not the ho Bul. Upon my soul, I cann't tell you my name, nour of knowing such a person.
Mrs Ful. Not tell me! Why so? Mrs Ful. No, I'll be sworn, have you not ; Bel. Because I don't know what it is myself ; thou art much too pretty a fellow, and too much as vet I have no name. of a gentleman, to be an author thyself, or to Mrs Fub No name? have any thing to say to those that are so. 'Tis Bel. None; a friend, indeed, lent me his; the captain, I suppose, you are waiting for? but he forbad me to use it on any unworthy oc
Bel. I rather suspect it is the captain's wife. casion.
Mrs Ful. But where is your place of abode? Bel. No wife! I am heartily sorry for it; for Bel. I have none; I never slept a night in Engthen, she's his mistress; and that I take to be land in
my life. the more desperate case of the two. Pray, ma Mrs Ful. Hey-day ! dam, was not there a lady just now turned into your house? 'Twas with her I wished to speak.
Enter FULMER. Mrs Ful. What sort of a lady, pray?
Ful. A fine case, truly, in a free country! a Bel. One of the loveliest sort my eyes ever pretty pass things are come to, if a man is to be beheld; young, tall, fresh, fair ; in short, a god- assaulted in his own house ! dess.
Mrs Ful. Who has assaulted you, my dear? Mrs Ful. Nay, but, dear, dear sir, now I'm Ful. Who? why this captain Drawcansir, this sure you flatter: for 'twas me you followed into old Dudley, my lodger : but I'll unlodge him ; the shop-door this minute.
I'll unharbour him, I warrant. Bel. You! No, no, take my word for it, it Mrs Ful. Hush ! hush! hold your tongue, was not you, madam.
man; pocket the affront, and be quiet ; l've a Mrs Ful. But what is it you laugh at ? scheme on foot will pay you a hundred beatings.
Bel. Upon my soul, I ask your pardon; but why you surprise me, Mr Fulmer; Captain Dudit was not you, believe me: be assured it was ley assault you! Impossible!
Ful. Nay, I cann't call it an absolute assault; Mrs Ful. Well, sir, I shall not contend for but he threatened me. the honour of being noticed by you ; I hope you Mrs Ful. Oh, was that all? I thought how it think you would not have been the first man that would turn out — -A likely thing, truly, for a noticed me in the streets. However, this I'm po- person of his obliging compassionate turn ! no, sitive of, that no living woman but myself has en no, poor Captain Dudley; he has sorrows and distered these doors this morning,
tresses enough of his own to employ his spirits, Bel. Why, then, I'm mistaken in the house, without setting them against other people. Make that's all; for 'tis not humanly possible I can be it up as fast as you can: watch this gentleman so far out in the dy.
(Going out; follow him wherever he goes; and bring me Mrs Ful. Coxcomb ! But hold--a thought oc word who and what he is ; be sure you don't lose curs ; as sure as can be, he has seen Miss Dud- sight of him ; I've other business in hand. ley. A word with you, young gentleman ; come
[Erit Mrs Ful. back.
Bel. Pray, sir, what sorrows and distresses Bel. Well, what's your pleasure?
have befallen this old gentleman you speak of? Mrs Ful, You seem greatly captivated with Ful Poverty, disappointment, and all the disthis
young lady; are you apt to fall in love thus tresses attendant thereupon : sorrow enough of at first sight?
all conscience; I soon found how it was with him,
by his way of living, low enough of all reason : formed you was about to join your regiment in but what I overheard this morning put it out of distant quarters abroad? all doubt.
Dud. I have been soliciting an exchange to a Bel. What did you overhear this morning! company on full-pay, quartered at James's Fort,
Ful. Why, it seems he wants to join his regi- in Senegambia ; but I'm afraid, I must drop the ment, and has been beating the town over to raise undertaking. a little money for that purpose upon.
Bel. Why so, pray? the climate, I find, where he is going, is so un Dud. Why so, sir ? 'Tis a home question for a healthy, that nobody can be found to lend him perfect stranger to put; there is something very any.
particular in all this. Bel. Why then, your town is a dained good Bel. If it is not impertinent, sir, allow me to for-nothing town; and I wish I had never come ask you what reason you have for despairing of into it.
success? Ful. That's what I say, sir; the hard-hearted Dud. Why really, sir, mine is an obvious reaness of some folks is unaccountable. There's an son for a soldier to have Want of mones; old Lady Rusport, a near relation of this gentle. simply that. man's; she lives hard by here, opposite to Stock. Bei. May I beg to know the sum you have ocwell's, the great merchant; he sent to her a-bego casion for? ging, but to no purpose; though she is as rich Dud. Truly, sir, I cannot exactly tell you on a as a Jew, she would not furnish him with a far- sudden ; nor is it, I suppose, of any great conthing.
sequence to you to be informed ; but I should Bel. Is the captain at home?
guess, in the gross, that two hundred pounds Ful. He is up stairs, sir.
would serve. Bel. Will you take the trouble to desirc hiin Bel. And do you find a difficulty in raising that to step hither? I want to speak to bim. sum upon your pay? 'Tis done every day.
Fui. I'll send him to you directly. I don't Dud. The nature of the climate makes it dif know what to make of this young man; but, if ficult; I can get no one to ensure my life. I live, I will find him out, or know the reason why. Bel. Oh! that's a circumstance may make for
(Exit Ful. you, as well as against: in short, Captain Dudley, Bel. I've lost the girl, it seems: that's clear : it so happens, that I can command the sum of she was the first object of my pursuit; but the two hundred pounds: seek, therefore, no farther; case of this poor officer touches me: and, after all, I'll accommodate you with it upon easy terms. there may be as much true delight in rescuing a Dud. Sir! do I understand you rightly? fellow-creature from distress, as there would be beg your pardon ; but am I to believe that you in plunging one into it-But, let me see are in earnest? It's a point that must be managed with some de. Bel. What is your surprisc? Is it an uncomlicacy-Apropos ! there's pen and ink I've mon thing for a gentleman to speak truth? Or is struck upon a method that will do.—[Writes.)- it incredible that one fellow.creature should asAy, ay, this is the very thing: 'twas devilish sist another? Jucky I happened to have these bills about me. Dud. I ask your pardou-May I beg to There, there, fare you well; I'm glad to be rid know to whom Do you propose this in the of you; you stood a chance of being worse ap- way of business? plied, I can tell you.
Bel. Entirely : I have no other business on (Encloses and seals the
Dud. Indeed! You are not a broker, I'm FULMER brings in Captain DUDLEY.
persuaded ? Ful. That's the gentleman, sir.-I shall make Bel. I am not. bold, however, to lend an ear. [Exit FuL. Dud. Nor an army agent, I think?
Dud. Have you any commands for me, sir? Bel. I hope you will not think the worse of me Bel. Your name is Dudley, sir?
for being neither; in short, sir, if you will peruse Dud. It is.
this paper, it will explain to you who I am, and Bel. You command a company, I think, Cap- upon what terms I act. While you read it, I will tain Dudley?
step home, and fetch the money, and we will coniDud. I did: I am now upon half-pay. clude the bargain without loss of time. In the Bel. You've served some time?
mean while, good day to you. (Exit hastily. Dud. A pretty many years; long enough to see Dud. Humph! there's something very odd in some people of more merit, and better interest all this let me see what we've got herethan myself, made general officers.
This paper is to tell me who he is, and what are Bel. Their merit I may have some doubt of; his terms: in the name of wonder, why has he their interest I can readily give credit to: there sealed it? -Hey-day! what's here? two bankis little promotion to be looked for in your pro- notes of a hundred each! I cann't comprehend fession, I believe, without friends, captain ?
what this means. Hold; here's a writing; perDud. I believe so, too: have you any other haps that will shew me. Accept this trifle : purbusiness with me, may I ask ?
sue your fortune, and prosper.' Am I in a Bel Your patience for a moment. I was in- | dream? Is this a reality?
to the list—you shall keep your promise with LaEnter Major O'FLAHERTY.
dy Rusport; she requires me to leave London ; I OʻFla. Save you, my dear! Is it you now that shall go in a few days, and you may take what creare Captain Dudley, I would ask? Whuh !- what's dit you please from my compliance. the hurry the man's in ? If 'tis the lad that ran ỞFla. Give me your hand, my dear boy! out of the shop you would overtake, you might as This will make her my own: when that's the well stay where you are; by my soul, he's as nim- case, we shall be brothers, you know, and we'll ble as a Croat; you are a full hour's march in the share her fortune between us. rear-Ay, faith, you may as well turn back, and Dud. Not so, major : the man who marries give over the pursuit. Well, Captain Dudley, if Lady Rusport will have a fair title to her whole
that's your name, there's a letter for you. Read, fortune without division. But, I hope, your ex- man; read it ; and I'll have a word with you af- pectations of prevailing are founded upon good ter you have done.
reasons ? Dud. More miracles on foot! So, so, from La O'Fla. Upon the best grounds in the world.dy Rusport.
First, I think she will comply, because she is a O' Fia. You're right; it's from her ladyship. woman : secondly, I am persuaded she won't hold
Dud. Well, sir, I have cast my eye over it; out long, becarise she's a widow: and thirdly, I 'tis short and peremptory; are you 'acquainted inake sure of her, because I've married five wives with the contents ?
(en militaire, captain), and never failed yet ; and, O'Fla. Not at all, my dear; not at all.
for what I know, they're all alive and merry at Dud. Ilave you any message from Lady Rus this very hour. port?
Dud. Well, sir, go on and prosper : if you can OʻFl. Not a syllable, honey;only, when you've inspire Lady Rusport with half your charity, I digested the letter, I've a little bit of a message shall think you deserve all her fortune : at present, to deliver you froin myself.
I must beg your excuse : good morning to you. Dud. And may I beg to know who yourself
(Exit! is ?
O'Fla. A good sensible man, and very much O'Fla. Dennis O'Flaherty, at your service; a
of a soldier! I did not care if I was better acpoor major of grenadiers; nothing better. quainted with him : but 'tis an awkward kind of
Dud. So much for your name and title, sir ; country for that; the English, I observe, are close now, be so good to favour me with your message. friends, but distant acquaintance. I suspect the
O Fia. Why, then, captain, I must tell you, I old lady has not been over generous to poor Dudhave promised Lady Rusport you shall do what | ley; I shall give her a little touch about that : ever it is she bids you to do in that letter there. upon my soul, I know but one excuse a person
Dul. Ay, indeed? have you undertaken so can have for giving nothing in that is, like much, major, without knowing either what she myself, having nothing to give.
(Exit. commands, or what I can perform ?
O'Flu. That's your concern, my dear, not mine; SCENE IV.-Changes to Lady RUSPORT'S I must keep my word, you know.
House. A Dressing Room. Dud. Or else, I suppose, you and I must mea.
Enter Miss RUSPORT and Lucy. sure swords? O'Flu. Upon my soul, you've hit it!
Char. Well, Lucy, you've dislodged the old Dud. That would hardly answer to either of lady at last ; but me:hought you was a tedious u3 : you and I have, probably, had enough of time about it. fighting in our time before now.
Lucy. A tedious time, indeed ; I think they, O'Fíu. Faith and troth, master Dudley, you who have least to spare, contrive to throw the may say that : 'tis thirty years, come the time, must away. I thought I should never have got that I have followed the trade, and in a pretty her out of the house. many countries. Let me se-In the war before Char. Why, she's as deliberate in canvassing last I served in the Irish brigacle, d'ye see; there, every article of her dress, as an-ambassador would after bringing off the French monarch, I left his be in settling the preliminaries of a treaty. service, with a British bullet in my body, and this Lucy. There was a new hood and handkerribbon in my button-hole. Last war I followed chief, that had come express from Holborn-hill the fortunes of the German eagle, in the corps of on the occasion, that took as much time in adjustgrenadiers ; there I had my belly full of fighting, ing. and a plentiful scarcity of every thing else. Af Char. As they did in making, and she was ES ter six-and-twenty engagements, great and small, vain of them as an old maid of a young lover. I went off , with this gash on iny skull
; and a kiss Lucy. Or a young lover of himself. Then, of the empress queen's sweet hand, (Heaven bless madam, this being a visit of great ceremony to a it!) for my pains. Since the peace, my dear, I person of distinction, at the west end of the town, took a little turn with the confederates there in the old chariot was dragged forth on the occasion, Poland—but such another set of madcaps ! by with strict charges to dress out the box with the the lord Harry, I never knew what it was they leopard-skin hammer-cloth. were scuffling about !
Char. Yes, and to hang the false tails on the Dud. Well, major, I won't add another action | miserable stumps of the old crawling cattle.
Well, well, pray Heaven the crazy affair don't , of love to make me miserable ; 'tis wretchedness break down again with her—at least, till she gets enough to be a beggar. to her journey's end ! But where's Charles Dud Char. A beggar, do you call yourself? O Charles, ley? Run down, dear girl, and be ready to let him Charles! rich in every merit and accomplishment,
I think he's as long in coming as she was in whom may you not aspire to! And why think going.
you so unworthily of our sex, as to conclude there Lucy. Why, indeed, madam, you seem the more is not one to be found with sense to discern your alert of the two, I nust say.
[E.crt. virtue, and generosity to reward it ? chu. Now, the deuce take the girl for putting Charles. You distress me; I must beg to hear that notion into my head ! I'm sadly afraid Dudley does not like me : so much encouragement as Char. Well, I can be silent. Thus does he alI have given him to declare himself, I never could ways serve me, whenever I am about to disclose get a word from him on the subject. This may myself to him.
Aside. be very honourable, but, upon my life, it's very Charles. Why do you not banish me and my provoking. By the way, I wonder how I look to misfortunes for ever from your thoughts ? day: Oh, shockingly! hideously pale! like a witch! Chur. Ay, wherefore do I not, since you never This is the old lady's glass; and she has left some allowed me a place in yours ! But go, sir; I have of her wrinkles on it. How frightfully have I put no right to stay you ; go where your heart directs on my cap! all awry! and my bair dressed so
you ; go to the happy, the distinguished fair one. unbecomingly.! altogether, I am a most complete Charles. Now, by all that's good, you do me fright.
wrong: there is no such fair one for me to go to ;
nor have I anacquaintance among the sex, yourself CHARLES DUDLEY comes in, unobserved.
excepted, which answers to that description. Charles. That I deny.
Char. Indeed ? Char. Ah!
Charles. In very truth : there, then, let us drop Charies
. Quarrelling with your glass, cousin - the subject. May you be bappy, though I never Make it up; make it up, and be friends : it cannot compliment you more, than by reflecting you Char. O Charles ! give me your hand: if I as you are
have oftended you, I ask your pardon : you have Chur. Well, I vow, my dear Charles, that is been long acquainted with my temper, and know delightfully said, and deserves my very best curt how to bear with its infirmities. sey : your flattery, like a rich jewel, has a value Churles. Thus, my dear Charlotte, let us seal not only from its superior lustre, but from its ex. our reconciliation. (Kissing her hand.) Bear with traordinary scarceness : I verily think this is the thy infirmities ! By Heaven, I know not any one only civil speech you ever directed to my person failing in thy whole composition, except that in your life.
of too great a partiality for an undeserving man. Charles. And I ought to ask pardon of your Chur. And you are now taking the very course good sense for having done it now.
to augment that failing. A thought strikes me: Char. Nay, now you relapse again : don't you I have a commission that you must absolutely know, if you keep well with a woman on the great execute for me : I have immediate occasion for score of beauty, she'll never quarrel with you on the sum of two hundred pounds : you know my the trifling article of good sense ? But any thing fortune is shut up till I am of age ; take this serves to fill up a dull yawning hour with an in- paltry box (it contains my ear-rings, and some sipid cousin ; you have brighter moments, and other baubles I have no use for), carry it to our warmer spirits, for the dear girl of your heart. opposite neighbour, Mr Stockwell (I don't know
Charles. Oh, fie upon you ! fie upon you ! where else to apply), leave it as a deposit in his
Char. You blush, and the reason is apparent: hands, and beg him to accommodate me with that you are a novice in hypocrisy ; but no practice can make a visit of ceremony pass for a visit of choice. Charles. Dear Charlotte, what are you about to Love is ever before its time ; friendship is apt to do? How can you possibly want two hundred lag a little after it: pray, Charles, did you make pounds ? any extraordinary haste hither?
Char. How can I possibly do without it, you Charles. By your question, I see you acquit me mean? Doesn't every lady want two hundred of the impertinence of being in love.
pounds ? Perhaps I have lost it at play : perhaps Chur. But why impertinence ? Why the imperti. I mean to win as much to it ; perhaps I want it nence of being in love? You have one language for two hundred different uses. for me, Charles, and another for the woman of Charles. Pooh ! Pooh! all this is nothing ; don't your affection.
I know you never play? Charles. You are mistaken ; the woman of my Char. You mistake ; I have a spirit to set not affection shall never hear any other language from only this trifle, but my whole fortune, upon a me, than what I use to you.
stake : therefore, make no wry faces, but do as Char. I am afraid then, you'll never make your- I bid you : you will find Mr Stockwell a very boself understood by. her.
nourable gentleman. Charles. It is not fit I should ; there is no need
Lady Rus. Oh, are you come? Give me the Enter Lucy in haste.
drops ; I'm all in a flutter ! Lucy. Dear madam, as I live, here comes the ÖFla. Hark'e, sweetheart, what are those old lady in a hackney-coach.
same drops ? have you any more left in the botChor. The old chariot has given her a second tle? I didn't care if I took a little sip of them tumble: away with you! you know your way out myself. without meeting her : take the box, and do as I Lucy. Oh, sir, they are called the cordial redesire you.
storative elixir, or the nervous golden drops ;Charles. I must not dispute your orders. Fare- they are only for ladies' cases. well! (Exeunt CHARLES and CHARLOTTE. O'Fla. Yes, yes, my dear, there are gentlemen
as well as ladies that stand in need of those same SCENE V. golden drops : they'd suit my case to a tittle.
(Drinks, Enter Lady RUSPORT, leaning on Major QFLA Lady Rus. Well, major, did you give old DudHERTY's arm.
ley my letter? and will the silly man do as I bid O'Fla. Rest yourself upon my arm; never spare him, and be gone? it ; 'tis strong enough : it has stood harder ser O'Fla. You are obeyed : he's on his march. vice than you can put it to.
Ludy Rus. That's well; you have managed Luey. Mercy upon me, what is the matter! I this matter to perfection. I didn't think he would am frightened out of my wits : has your ladyship have been so easily prevailed upon. had an accident ?
O'Fla. At the first word; no difficulty in life; Lady Rus. O, Lucy! the most untoward one 'twas the very thing he was determined to do, bein nature ! I know not how I shall repair it. fore I came : I never met a more obliging gen
O'Fla. Never go about to repair it, my lady; even build a new one ; 'twas but a crazy piece rid of him and his distresses : would you believe
Lady Rus. Well, 'tis no matter, so I am but of business at best.
Lucy. Bless me! is the old chariot broke down it, Major O’Flaherty, it was but this morning he with you again?
sent a-begging to me for money to fit him out upon Lady Rus. Broke, child! I don't know what some wild-goose expedition to the coast of Africa, might have been broke, if, by great good fortune, I know not where? this obliging gentleman had not been at hand to O'Fla. Well, you sent him what he wanted ? assist me.
Lady Rus. I sent him what he deserved, a flat Lucy. Dear madam, let me run and fetch you
refusal. a cup of the cordial drops.
O'Fla. You refused him ? Lady Rus. Do, Lucy. Alas, sir ! ever since Lady Rus. Most undoubtedly. I lost my husband, my poor nerves have been O'Flu. You sent him nothing? shook to pieces : there hangs his beloved pic. Lady Rus. Not a shilling. ture : that precious relic, and a plentiful jointure, O'Fla. Good morning to you-Your servantis all that remains to console me for the best of
Lady Rus. Hey-day! what ails the man? where OʻFla. Let me see : i' faith a comely person- are you going? age! by his fur cloak, I suppose he was in the OʻFla. Out of your house, before the roof falls Russian service ; and, by the gold chain round on my head-to poor Dudley, to share the little his neck, I should guess he had been honoured modicum that thirty years hard service has left with the order of St Catharine.
I wish it was more for his sake. Lady Rus. No, no ; he meddled with no St Ludy Rus. Very well, sir ; take your course ; Catharines : that's the habit he wore in his may- I sha'n't attempt to stop you : I shall survive it ; orality: Sir Stephen was lord-mayor of London: it will not break my heart, if I never see you but he is gone, and has left me a poor, weak, solitary widow behind him.
O'Flu. Break your heart ! No,o’ conscience OʻFla. By all means, then, take a strong, able, will it not. You preach, and you pray', and
you hearty man to repair his loss. If such a plain turn up your eyes, and all the while you're as fellow as one Dennis O'Flaherty can please you, bard-hearted as a hyena! A hyena, truly ! By I think I may venture to say, without any dis my soul, there isn't, in the whole creation, so saparagement to the gentleman in the fur-gown vage an animal as a human creature without pity! there
[Erit. Lady hus. What are you going to say? Don't Lady Rus. A hyena, truly! Where did the shock my ears with any comparisons, I desire. fellow blunder upon that word ? Now the deuce
(Fla. Not I, by my soul! I don't believe take him for using it, and the Macaronies for inthere's any comparison in the case.