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Par. Who could have thought that a man of bis light airy temper would have been so revengeful ?

Dick. Why, faith, I'm a little malicious too : where's the buss you promised me, you jade ? Par. Follow me, you rogue.

(kuns off Dick. Allons.

[Follores,

ACT II.

me see.

And I warrant they were fisted about among his SCENE 1.- A Lady's Apartment, dirty levee of disbanded officers ! -Paugh the

very thoughts of them fellows, with their eager Enter two Chambermaids.

looks, iron swords, tied-up wigs, and tucked-in 1st Cham. Are all things set in order ? The cravats, make me sick as death. - Come, let toilette fixed, the bottles and combs put in form,

-{Goes to take the chocolate, and starts and the chocolate ready ?

back.) Heaven protect me from such a sight! 2d Cham. 'Tis no great matter whether they Lord, girl! When did you wash your hands last? be right or not; for right or wrong we shall be And have you been pawing me all this morning sure of our lecture : I wish for my part that my with them dirty fists of yours ? [Runs to the glass.] time were out.

-I must dress all over again--Go, take it 1st Cham. Nay, 'tis a hundred to one but we away, I shall swoon else.--Here, Mrs Monster, may run away before our time be half expired; call up my taylor ; and d'ye hear! Yon, Mrs and she's worse this morning than ever. -Here Hobbyhorse, see if my company be come to cards she comes.

yet.

Enter Taylor.
Enter Lady LUREWELL.

Oh, Mr Remnant! I don't know what ails these Lure. Ay, there's a couple of you indeed! But stays you have made me; but something is the how, how, in the name of negligence, could you matter, I don't like them. two contrive to make a bed as mine was last

Rem. I am very sorry for that, madam. But night; a wrinkle on one side, and a rumple on what fault does your ladyship find? t'other; the pillows awry, and the quilt askew. Lure. I don't know where the fault lies; but, I did nothing but tumble about, and fence within short, I don't like them; I can't tell how; the the sheets all night along:

-Oh !

my bones things are well enough made, but I don't like ache this morning, as if I had lain all night on a them. pair of Dutch stairs-Go, bring chocolate.

Rem. Are they too wide, madam? And, d’ye bear? Be sure to stay an hour or two Lure. No. at least -Well, these English animals are so Rem. Too straight, perhaps ? unpolished ! I wish the persecution would rage Lure. Not at all! they fit me very well; but, a little harder, that we might have more of these -lard bless me! can't you tell where the French refugees among us.

fault lies? Enter the Maids with Chocolate,

Rem. Why, truly, madam, I cann't tell.-But

your ladyship, I think, is a little too slender for These wenches are gone to Smyrna for this cho- ihe fashion. colate.And what made you stay so long? Lure. How ! too slender for the fashion, say

Cham. I thought we did not stay at all, ma you? dam.

Rem. Yes, madam, there's no such thing as a Lure. Only an hour and half by the slowest good shape worn among the quality; your fine clock in Christendom--And such salvers and waists are clear out, madam. dishes too! The lard be merciful to me! What Lure. And why did not you plump up my stays have I committed to be plagned with such ani. to the fashionable size? mals ?—---Where are my new japan salvers ? Rem. I made them to fit you, madam. Broke, o’my conscience ! All to pieces, I'll lay Lure. Fit me! fit my monkey-What, d'ye my life on't.

think I wear clothes to please myself! Fit me! Chum. No, indeed, madam, but your hus fit the fashion, pray; no matter for me I band

thought something was the matter; I wanted quaLure. How? husband, impudence! I'll teach lity-air. -Pray, Mr Remnant, let me have a you manners. [Gives her a box on the eur.) Hus bulk of quality, a spreading counter. I do reband ! Is that your Welsh breeding ? Ha’n’t the member now, the ladies in the apartments, the colonel a name of his own?

birth-night, were most of them two yards about. Chum. Well then, the colonel. He used them Indeed, sir, if you contrive my things any more this morning, and we ha'n't got them since. with your scanty chambermaid's air, you shall

Lure. How! the colonel use my things ! How work no more for me. dare the colonel use any thing of inine ?-----But Rem. I shall take care to please your ladyship kis campaigu education must be pardoncd for the future.

(Exit.

Enter Servant.

my friends. But, my brother, my dear, is just

come from his voyage, and will be here to pay Sert. Madam, my master desires

his respects to you. Lure. Hold, hold, fellow; for Gad's sake hold: Lure. Sir, I shall not be at leisure to entertain if thou touch my clothes with that tobacco breath a person of his Wapping education, I can assure of thine, I shall poison the whole drawing-room. you. Stand at the door, pray, and speak. (Servant goes to the door and speaks.

Parly enters, and whispers her. Serv. My master, madam, desires

Sir, I have some business with my woman; you Lure. Oh, hideous! Now the rascal bellows may entertain your sea-monster by yourself; you so loud, that he tears my head to pieces.—Here, may command a dish of pork and pease, with a aukwardness, go take the booby's message, and bowl of punch, I suppose ; and so, sir, much good bring it to me. [Maid goes to the door, whispers, may do you—Come, Parly. and returns.

(Exeunt Lure. and Par. Cham. My master desires to know how your Stand. Hell and furies ! ladyship rested last night, and if you are pleased

Enter FIREBALL. to admit of a visit this morning.

Lure. Ay-Why, this is civil _'Tis an Fire. With all my heart, Where's your wife, insupportable toil, though, for women of quality brother -Ho! now, man, what's the matter ? to model their husbands to good breeding.

-Is dinner ready?

Stani. No-I don't know-Hang it, I'm Enter STANDARD.

sorry that I invited you : for you must know Stand. Good-morrow, dearest angel. How that my wife is very much out of order; taken have you rested last night?

dangerously ill of a suilden -So that Lure. Lard, lard, colonel! What a room have Fire. Pshaw! Nothing, nothing but a marriage you made me here with your dirty feet! Bless qualm; breeding children or breeding mischief. me, sir ! will you never be reclaimed from your Where is she, man? Pr’ythee let me see her; I slovenly campaign airs ? 'tis the most unmanner long to see this fine lady you have got. ly thing in nature to make a sliding bow in a Stand. Upon my word she's very ill, and cann't lady's chamber with dirty shoes; it writes rude see any body. ness upon the boards.

Firë. So ill that she cann't see any body! What, Stand. A very odd kind of reception this, tru she's not in labour sure! I tell you, I will see ly? I'm very sorry, madam, that the offences of her. Where is she?

(Looking about. my feet should create an aversion to my compa Stand. No, no, brother; she's gone abroad to ny; but for the future I shall honour your lady- | take the air. ship's apartment as the sepulchre at Jerusalem, Fire. What the devil! dangerous sick, and and always come in barefoot.

gone out! So sick, that she'll see no body within, Lure. Sepulchre at Jerusalem! Your compli- yet gone abroad to see all the world !Ah, ment, sir, is very far fetched : but your feet in- you have made your fortunes with a vengeance! deed have a very travelling air,

-Then, brother, you shall dine with me at Stand. Come, come, my dear, no serious dis- Locket's; I hate these family dinners, where a putes upon trifles, since you know I never con man's obliged to, Oh, lard, madam ; no apology, tend with you in matters of consequence. You

dear sir. -'Tis very good indeed, madan.are still mistress of your fortune, and marriage For yourself, dear madam.—Where, between has only made you more absolute in your plea- the rubbed Hoor under-foot, the china in one corsure, by adding one faithful servant to your de ner, and the glasses in another, a man cann't make sires. Come, clear your brow of that uneasy two strides without hazard of his life. Comchagrin, and let that pleasing air take place that mend me to a boy and a bell; coming, coming, first ensnared my heart. I have invited some gen sir : much noise, no attendance, and a dirty tlemen to dinner, whose friendships deserve a room, whiere I may eat like a horse, drink like a welcome look. Let their entertainment show fish, and swear like a devil. Hang your family how blessed you have made me by a plentiful dinners! come along with me. fortune, and the love of so agreeable a creature.

Lure. Your friends, I suppose, are all men of As they are going out, BANTER enters; who secquality?

ing them, seems to retire. Stand. Madam, they are officers, and men of Stand. Who's that? Coine in, sir. Your busihonour.

ness, pray, sir? Lure. Officers, and men of honour! That is, Bun. Perhaps, sir, it may not be so proper to they will daub the stairs with their feet, stain all inform you; for you appear to be as great a stranthe rooms with their wine, talk bawdy to my wo

ger

here as myself. man, rail at the parliament, then at one another, Fire. Come, come away, brother, he has some fall to cutting of throats, and break all my china. business with your wife.

Stand. Admitting that I keep such company, Ban. His wife! Gad so! A pretty fellow, a ?ris unkind in you, madam, to talk so severely of very pretty fellow, a likely fellow, and a handsome

fellow; I find nothing like a monster about him: , find opportunity for your revenge; my house proI would fain see his forehead though—-Sir, tects him now. your humble servant.

Fire. Well, sir, the time will come. [Erit. Stand. Yours, sir.But why d'ye stare so Ban. Well said, Brazen-head. in my face?

Stand. I hope, sir, you'll excuse the freedom Ban. I was told, sir, that the lady Lurewell's of this gentleman; his education has been among • husband had something very remarkable over his the boisterdus elements, the winds and waves. eyes, by which he might be known.

Ban. Sir, I value neither him nor his wind and FireMark that, brother. [In his ear. waves neither; I am privileged to be very imper

Stand. Your information, sir, was right; I have tinent, being an Oxonian, and obliged to fight no a cross ctit over my left eye that's very remark- man, being a beau. able.-But, pray, sir, by what marks are you to Stund. Sir, I admire the freedom of your conbe known?

dition. But pray, sir, have you seen your brother Ban. Sir, I am dignified and distinguished by since he came last over? the name and title of Beau Banter; I'm younger Ban. I han't seen my brother these seven brother to Sir Harry Wildair; and I hope to in- years, and scarcely heard from him but by report herit his estate with his humour; for his wife, of others. About a month ago he was pleased I'm told, is dead, and has left no child. to honour me with a letter from Paris, importing

Stand. Oh, sir! I'm your very humble servant: his design of being in London very soon, with a you're not unlike your brother in the face; but desire of meeting me here. Upon this, I chanmethinks, sir, you don't become his humour alto-ged my cap and gown for a long wig and sword, gether so well; for what's nature in him looks came up to London to attend him, and went to like affectation in you.

bis house; but that was all in sable for the death Bun. Oh, lard, sir! 'tis rather nature in me, of his wife; there I was told that he designed to what is acquired by him; he's beholden to his change his habitation, because he would avoid all education for his air. Now, where d’ye think my remembrances that might disturb his quiet. You humour was established ?

are the first person that has told me of his arrival, Stand. Where?

and I expect that you may likewise inform me Ban. At Oxford.

where to wait on him. Stand, and Fire, At Oxford !

Stand. And I suppose, sir, this was the busiBan. Ay: there I have been sucking my dear ness that occasioned me the honour of this visit Alma Mater these seven years : yet, in defiance Ban. Partly this, and partly an affair of greater to legs of mutton, small beer, crabbed books, and consequence. You must know, sir, that though sour-faced doctors, I can dance a minuet, court I have read ten thousand lies in the university, a mistress, play at piquet, or make a paroli, with yet I have learned to speak the truth myself; and, any Wildair in Christendom. In short, sir, in to deal plainly with you, the honour of this visit, spite of the university, I'm a pretty gentleman. as you were pleased to term it, was designed to Colonel, where's your wife?"

the lady Lurewell. Fire. Mimicking him.) In spite of the univer Stand. My wife, sir! sity, I'm a pretty gentleman -Then, colonel, Ban. My lady Lurewell, I say, sir. where is your wife?--Hark ye, young Plato, Stund. But I say my wife, sir. -What! whether would you have your nose slit, or your Ban. Why, look ye, sir; you may have the ears cut?

honour of being called the lady Lurewell's husBan. First tell me, sir, which would you band; but you will never find in any author, eichoose, to be run through the body, or shot ther ancient or modern, that she's called Mr through the head ?

Standard's wifc. 'Tis true, you're a handsome Fire. Follow me, and I'll tell ye.

young fellow; she liked your, she married you; Ban. Sir, my servants shall attend ye, if you and though the priest made you both one flesh, have no equipage of your own.

yet there's no small distinction in your blood. Fire. Blood, sir!

You are still a disbanded colonel, and she is still Stand. Hold, brother, hold; he's a boy. a woman of quality, I take it.

Ban. Look ye, sir; I keep half a dozen footmen, Stand. And you are the most impndent young that have no business upon earth but to answer fellow I ever met with in any life, I take it. impertinent questions. Now, sir, if your fighting Ban. Sir, I'm a master of arts, and I plead the stomach can digest these six brawny fellows for privilege of my standing. a breakfast, their master, perhaps, may do you the favour to run you through the body for a din A Servant enters, and whispers BANTER. ner.

Fire. Sirrah, will you fight me? I received just Serv. Sir, the gentleman in the coach belov now six month's pay, and by this light, I'll give says, he'll be gone unless you come presently. you the half on't for one fair blow at your skull. Ban. I had forgot-Colonel, your humble Bun. Down with your money, sir.

servant.

(Exit. Stand. No, no, brother; if you are so free of Stand. Sir, you must excuse me for not waityour pay, get into the next room; there you'lling on you down stairs. An impudent. young find some company at cards, I suppose; you may | dog!

(Exit another way.

her?

the world. [Puts it in his mouth.] Down it goes, SCENE II.-Changes to another Apartment in i’faith. -Allons for the Thatched House and the same House.

the Mediterranean.--Tall dall de rall. [Erit.

Wild. Ha, ha, ha -Bravely resolved, capLUREWELL, Ladies, Mons. MARQUIS, and FIRE

tain. BALL, enter, as losing Gamesters, one afier ano Lure. Bless me, Sir Harry! I was afraid of a ther, tearing their Curds, and flinging them about the Room.

quarrel. I'm so much concerned !

Wild. At the loss of your money, madam. But Lure. Ruined! undone! destroyed !

why, why should the fair be afflicted? Your eyes, 1st La. Oh, fortune! fortune! fortune! your eyes, ladies, much brighter than the sun, 2d Lu. What will my husband say ?

have equal power with him, and can transform to Mons. Oh, mulheur! malheur ! malheur ! gold whate'er they please. The lawyer's tongue,

Fire. Blood and fire, I have lost six months the soldier's sword, the courtier's Hattery, and pay.

the merchant's trade, are slaves that dig the Mors. A hundred and ten pistoles, sink me. golden mines for you. Your eyes untie the mi

Fire. Sink you! sink me, that have lost two ser's knotted purse; (To one lady) melt into hundred and ten pistoles.

-Sink you, indeed! coin the magistrate's massy chain.—Youth mints. Lure. But why would you hazard the bank up for you hereditary lands. [To another. And on one card?

gamesters only win when they can lose to you. Mons. Because me had lose by de card tree (To LUREWELL.—This luck is the most rhetotimes before.-Look dere, madame, de very next rical thing in nature. card had been out. Oh, Morbleu ! qui su ? Lure. I have a great mind to forswear cards

Lure. I relied altogether on your setting the as long as I live. cards; you used to taillee with success.

1st La. And I. Mons. Morbleu, madame, me never lose be 2d La. And I.

(Crying, and Exit. fore: but dat Monsieur Sir Arry, dat Chevalier Wild. What, forswear cards! Why, madam, Wildair, is the devil-Vere is the de Cheva- you'll ruin our trade.-I'll maintain, that the

money at courts circulates more by the bassetLure. Counting our money within yonder. bank, than the wealth of the merchants by the Go, go, be gone ; and bethink yourself of some bank of the city. Cards! the great ministers of revenge.--Here he comes.

fortune's power, that blindly shuffle out her

thoughtless favours, and make a knave more powEnter WILDAIR.

erful than a king -What adoration do these Wild. Fifteen hundred and seventy louis d'ors ! powers receive (Lifting up a card) from the -Tall dall de rall

. (Sings.] Look ye, gentlemen, bright hands and fingers of the fair, always lift up any body may dance to this tune ;– Tall dall de to pay devotion here! And the pleasing fears, rall

. I dance to the tune of fifteen hundred the anxious hopes, and dubious joy that enterpounds, the most elevated piece of music that tain our mind! Tlie capot at piquet, the paroli ever I heard in my life; they are the prettiest at basset;-and then ombre ! who can resist the castagnets in the world. (Chinks the money.] charms of mattadors ? Here, waiters, there's cards and candles for you. Lure. Ay, Sir Harry; and then the sept le va, {Gives the servants money.] Mrs Parly -here's quinze la va, et trente le va. hoods and scarfs for you: (Gives her money); and Wild. Right, right, madam. here's fine coaches, splendid equipage, lovely wo Lure. Then the nine of diamonds at comet, men, and victorious Burgundy for me.-Oh, ye three fives at cribbage, and pam in lanteraloo, Sir charming angels! the loser's sorrow, and the Harry! gainer's joy; get you into my pocket.-Now, Wild. Ay, madam, these are charms indeed. gentlemen and ladies, I am your humble servant Then the pleasure of picking our husband's

-You'll excuse me, I hope, the small devotion pocket over-night, to play at basset next day! here that I pay to my good fortune-Ho, now! Then the advantage a fine gentleman may make Mute!-Why, ladies, I know that losers have of a lady's necessity, by gaining a favour for fifty leave to speak'; but I don't find that they're pri- pistoles, which a hundred years courtship could vileged to be dumb.—Monsieur ! Ladies! Cap never have produced.

(Claps the captain on the shoulder. Lure. Nay, nay, Şir Harry, that's foul play. Fire. Death and hell! Why d'ye strike me, sir? Wild. Nay, nay, madam, it is nothing but the

[Druwing game; and I have played it so in France a hunWild. To comfort you, sir.--Your ear, cap. | dred times. tain. The king of Spain is dead.

Lure. Come, come, sir, no more on't, I'll tell Fire. The king of Spain dead !

you in three words, that rather than forego my Wild. Dead as Julius Cæsar ; I had a letter cards, I'll forswear my visits, fashions, my monkey,

friends and relations. Fire. Tall dall de rall. (Sings.] Look ye, sir, Wild. There spoke the spirit of true-born pray strike me again, if you please. See here, English women of quality, with a true French sir, you have left me but one solitary guinea in education

tain!

on't just now.

Lure. Look ye, Sir Isarry; I am well born, and new way of making love. Please to peruse it, I was well bred ; I brought my husband a large and give me your opinion in the evening. fortune, he shall mortgage, or I will elope.

(Exit. Wild. No, no, madam! there's no occasion Lure. (Opening the book.) A French pocket for that : see here, madam.

book, with remarks upon the new way of making Lure. What, the singing birds ! Sir Harry, love! Then Sir Harry is turning author, I find.let me see.

What's here?-Hi, hi, hi! A bank bill for a Wild. Pugh, madam, these are but a few. hundred pounds. The new way of making love! But I could wish, de tout mon caur, for quelque - Pardie c'est fort gallant-One of the prettiest commodité, where I might be handsomely plun- remarks that ever I saw in my life! Well now, dered of them.

that Wildair's a charming fellow,Hi, hi, hi! Lure. Ah, Chevalier! toujours obligeant, en -He has such an air, and such a turn in what gageant, et tout sa.

he does !--- warrant now there's a hundred Wild. Allons, allons, madame, tout a votre home-bred blockheads would come-madam, I'll service,

(Pulls her. give you a hundred guineas if you'll let meLure. No, no, Sir Harry, not at this time o' Faugh! hang their nauseous immodest proceedday; you shall hear from me in the evening, ings. Here's a hundred pounds now, and he

Wiid. Then, madam, I'll leave you something never names the thing: I love an impudent to entertain you the while. 'Tis a French pocket action with an air of modesty with all my heart. book, with some remarks of my own upon the

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

Mons. Hold, madame; dere is an autre disSCENE I.

tinction between de design and de term of de

treaty Lady LUREWELL and Monsieur MARQUIS.

Lure. Pray, sir, no more of your distinctions, Lure. Well, monsieur, and have you thouglit but seak plain. how to retaliate your ill fortune ?

Mons. Wen de France-man's politique is in Mons. Madame, I have touglit dat fortune be his head, dere is nothing but distinction upon his one blind bitch. Why should fortune be kinder tongue.-Sce here, madame! I ave de picture of to de Anglis Chevalier dan to de France Mar- Sir Harry's vife in my pocket. quis ? Ave I not de bon grace? Ave not I de per Lure. Is it possible ? sonage ? Ave I not de understanding? Can de

Mons. Voyez. Anglis Chevalier dance better dan I? Can de Lure. The very same, and finely drawn. Pray, Anglis Chevalier fence better dan I? Can de monsieur, how did you purchase iť ? Anglis Chevalier play basset better dan I? Den Mons. As me did purchase de picture, so me why should fortune be kinder to de Anglis Che- did gain the substance, de dear, dear substance, by valier dan de France Marquis ?

de bon micn, de France, air, chatant, charmant, Lure. Why? Because fortune is blind. de polique à la tête, and dançant à la pie.

Mons. Blind ! Yes begar, and dum and deaf Lure. Lard bless me! How cunningly some too.- Vell den, fortune give de Anglis man de women can play the rogue! Ah, have I found it riches, but nature gave de France man de politi- out! Now, as I hope for mercy, I am glad on't. que to correct de unequal distribution.

I hate to have any woman more virtuous than Lure. But how can you correct it, monsieur? myself.--Here was such a work with my lady

Mons. Ecoutez, madame. Sir Arry Wildair wiidair's piety ! my lady Wildair's conduct ! and his vife be dead.

my lady Wildair's fidelity, forsooth! Now, dear Lure. And what advantage can you make of monsieur, you have infallibly told me the best that?

news that I ever heard in my life. Well, and Mons. Begar, madame-Hi, hi, hi !-De she was but one of us! heh! Anglis man's dead vife sall cuckold her usband! Alons. Oh, madame; me no tell tale, me no

Lure. How, how, sir, a dead woman cuckold scandalize de dead; de pieture be dumb, de picher husband !

ture say noting. Mons. Mark! madame : we France-men make Lure. Come, come, sir, no more distinctions ; de distinction between de design and de term of I'm sure it was so. I would have given the de treaty.—She cannot touch his head, but she world for such a story of her while she was living. can cuckold his pocket of ten tousan livres. She was charitable, forsooth! and she was devout, Lure. Pray explain yourself, sir.

forsooth! and every body was twitted i'th' teeth Mons. I ave Sir Arry Wildair his vife in my with my lady Wildair's reputation : and why pocket.

don't you mark her behaviour, and her discretion? Lure. How! Sir Harry's wise in your pocket! | she goes to church twice a-day:-Ah, I hate these

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