Page images
PDF
EPUB

for joy! Ha' done making love, and fall down on your knees to every saint in the kalendar; for they're all on your side, and honest St Patrick at the head of them.

Cha. O Louisa, such an event! By the luckiest chance in life, we have discovered a will of my grandfather's, made in his last illness, by which he cuts off my aunt Rusport with a small annuity, and leaves me heir to his whole estate, with a fortune of fifteen thousand pounds to yourself. Lou. What is it you tell me? O, sir, instruct me to support this unexpected turn of fortune. [To her father.

Dud. Name not fortune; 'tis the work of Providence- -'tis the justice of Heaven, that would not suffer innocence to be oppressed, nor your base aunt to prosper in her cruelty and cunning. [A servant whispers BELCOUR, and he goes

out.

O'Fla. You shall pardon me, Captain Dudley, but you must not overlook St Patrick neither ;for, by my soul, if he had not put it into my head to slip behind the screen when your righteous aunt and the lawyer were plotting together, I don't see how you would ever have come at the paper there, that Mr Stockwell is reading.

Dud. True, my good friend; you are the father of this discovery; but how did you contrive to get this will from the lawyer?

O'Fla. By force, my dear-the only way of getting any thing from a lawyer's clutches.

Stock. Well, major, when he brings his action of assault and battery against you, the least Dudley can do is, to defend you with the wea pons you have put into his hands.

Chu. That I am bound to do; and after the happiness I shall have in sheltering a father's age from the vicissitudes of life, my next delight will be in offering you an asylum in the bosom of your country.

O'Fla. And upon my soul, my dear, 'tis high time I was there; for 'tis now thirty long years since I set foot in my native country-and, by the power of St Patrick, I swear, I think it's worth all the rest of the world put together.

Dud. Ay, major, much about that time have I been beating the round of service, and 'twere well for us both to give over: we have stood many a tough gale, and abundance of hard blows; but Charles shall lay us up in a little private, but safe, harbour, where we'll rest from our labours, and peacefully wind up the remainder of our days.

O'Fla. Agreed; and you may take it as a proof of my esteem, young man, Major O'Flaherty accepts a favour at your hands-for, by Heaven, I'd sooner starve than say, I thank you' to the man I despise. But I believe you are an honest lad, and I am glad you have trounced the old cat-for, on my conscience, I believe I must otherwise have married her myself, to have let you in for a share of her fortune.

Stock. Hey-day, what's become of Belcour? Lou. One of your servants called him out just now, and seemingly on some earnest bccasion.

[blocks in formation]

Lou. 'Tis true.

Stock. Then, I am happy: all my doubts, my cares are over, and I may own him for my son. Why, these are joyful tidings: come, my good friend, assist me in disposing your lovely daughter to accept this returning prodigal: he is no unprincipled, no hardened libertine, his love for and virtue is the same.

you Dud. 'Twere vile ingratitude in me to doubt his merit-What says my child?

O'Fla. Begging your pardon now, 'tis a frivolous sort of a question, that of yours; for you may see plainly enough, by the young lady's looks, that she says a great deal, though she speaks ne

ver a word.

Cha. Well, sister, I believe the major has fairly interpreted the state of your heart.

Lou. I own it: and what must that heart be, which love, honour, and benevolence, like Mr Belcour's, can make no impression on?

Stock. I thank you. What happiness has this hour brought to pass!

O'Fla. Why don't we all sit down to supper, then, and make a night on't?

Stock. Hold, here comes Belcour.

BELCOUR, introducing Miss RUSPORT. Bel. Mr Dudley, here is a fair refugee, who properly comes under your protection: she is equipt for Scotland; but your good fortune, which I have related to her, seems inclined to save you both the journey-Nay, madam, never go back; you are amongst friends.

Charles. Charlotte!

Char. The same; that fond officious girl, that haunts you every where; that persecuting spirit

Charles. Say rather, that protecting angel: such you have been to me.

Char. O, Charles! you have an honest, but proud heart.

Charles. Nay, chide me not, dear Charlotte. Bel. Seal up her lips then; she is an adorable girl; her arms are open to you; and love and happiness are ready to receive you.

Charles. Thus, then, I claim my dear, my destined wife. [Embracing her.

Enter Lady Rusport. Lady Rus. Hey-day! mighty fine! wife, truly! mighty well! kissing, embracing-did ever any thing equal th Why, you shameless hussy But I won't condescend to waste a word upon you

You, sir, you, Mr Stockwell, you fine, sanctified, | fair-dealing man of conscience, is this the principle you trade upon? Is this your neighbourly system, to keep a house of reception for run-away daughters, and young beggarly fortune-hunters?

O'Fla. Be advised now, and don't put yourself in such a passion; we were all very happy till you

came.

Lady Rus. Stand away, sir! have not I a reason to be in a passion?

O'F. Indeed, honey, and you have, if you

knew all.

Ludy Rus. Come, madam, I have found out your haunts; dispose yourself to return home with me. Young man, let me never see you within my doors again. Mr Stockwell, I shall report your behaviour, depend upon it.

Stock. Hold, madam; I cannot consent to lose Miss Rusport's company this evening, and I am persuaded you won't insist upon it: 'tis an unmotherly action to interrupt your daughter's happiness in this manner; believe me it is.

Lady Rus. Her happiness, truly upon my word! and I suppose 'tis an unmotherly action to interrupt her ruin; for what but ruin must it be to marry a beggar! I think my sister had a proof of that, sir, when she made choice of you. To Capt. DUDley. Dud. Don't be too lavish of your spirits, Lady Rusport.

O'Fla. By my soul, you'll have occasion for a sip of the cordial elixir, by and by.

Stock. It don't appear to me, madam, that Mr Dudley can be called a beggar.

Lady Rus. But it appears to me, Mr Stockwell -I am apt to think a pair of colours cannot furnish settlement quite sufficient for the heiress of Sir Stephen Rusport.

Char. But a good estate, in aid of a commission, may do something.

Lady Rus. A good estate, truly! where should he get a good estate, pray?

Stock. Why, suppose now a worthy old gentleman, on his death-bed, should have taken it in mind to leave him one

Lady Rus. Ha! what's that you say? O'Fla. O ho! you begin to smell a plot, do you?

Stock. Suppose there should be a paper in the world that runs thus-"I do hereby give and bequeath all my estates, real and personal, to Charles Dudley, son of my late daughter, Louisa," &c. &c. &c.

Lady Rus. Why, I am thunderstruck! By what contrivance, what villainy, did you get possession of that paper ?

Stock. There was no villainy, madam, in getting possession of it: the crime was in concealing it; none in bringing it to light.

Lady Rus. Oh, that cursed lawyer, Varland! O'Fla. You may say that, faith! he is a cursed lawyer, and a cursed piece of work I had to get the paper from him. Your ladyship now was to have paid him five thousand pounds for it-I for

ced him to give it me of his own accord, for nothing at all, at all.

Lady Rus. Is it you that have done this? Am I foiled by your blundering contrivances, after all? O'Fi. Twas a blunder, faith, but as natural a one as if I had made it o' purpose.

Charles. Come, let us not oppress the fallen; do right even now, and you shall have no cause to complain.

Lady Rus. AmI become an object of your pity, then? Insufferable! Confusion light amongst you! Marry and be wretched: let me never see you Erit.

more.

Char. She is outrageous; I suffer for her, and blush to see her thus exposed.

Charles. Come, Charlotte, don't let this angry woman disturb our happiness: we will save her in spite of herself; your father's memory shall not be stained by the discredit of his second choice. Char. I trust implicitly to your discretion, and am in all things yours.

Bel. Now, lovely, but obdurate, does not this example soften?

Lou. What can you ask for more? Accept my hand, accept my willing heart.

Bel. O, bliss unutterable! brother, father, friend, and you, the author of this general joy—

O'Fla. Blessings of St Patrick upon us all! 'Tis a night of wonderful and surprising ups and downs: I wish we were all fairly set down to supper, and there was an end on't.

Stock. Hold for a moment! I have yet one word to interpose-Entitled, by my friendship, to a voice in your disposal, I have approved your match: there yet remains a father's consent to be obtained.

Bel. Have I a father?

Stock, You have a father: did not I tell you I had a discovery to make? Compose yourself: you have a father, who observes, who knows, who loves you.

Bel. Keep me no longer in suspense! my heart is softened for the affecting discovery, and nature fits me to receive his blessing.

Stock. I am your father.
Bel. My father! Do I live?
Stock. I am your father.

Bel. It is too much; my happiness overpowers me to gain a friend, and find a father, is too much: I blush to think how little I deserve you. [They embrace.

Dud. See, children, how many new relations spring from this night's unforeseen events, to endear us to each other.

O'Fla. O' my conscience, I think we shall be all related by and by.

Stock. How happily has this evening concluded, and yet how threatening was its approach! Let us repair to the supper-room, where I will unfold to you every circumstance of my mysterious story. Yes, Belcour, I have watched you with a patient, but inquiring eye; and I have discovered, through the veil of some irregularities, a heart beaming with benevolence, an animated nature,

1

1

fallible, indeed, but not incorrigible; and your election of this excellent young lady makes me glory in acknowledging you to be my son.

Bel. I thank you-and, in my turn, glory in the father I have gained: sensibly impress'd with gratitude for such extraordinary dispensations, I

beseech you, amiable Louisa, for the time to come, whenever you perceive me deviating into error or offence, bring only to my mind the Providence of this night, and I will turn to reason, and obey. [Exeunt omnes.

EPILOGUE.

WRITTEN BY DAVID GARRICK, ESQ.

SPOKEN BY MRS ABINGTON.

= CONFESS, good folks, has not Miss Rusport shewn Strange whims for SEVENTEEN HUNDRED SEVENTY-ONE?

What, pawn her jewels-There's a precious plan!—

To extricate from want a brave old man ;
And fall in love with poverty and honour-
A girl of fortune, fashion ?- -Fie upon her.
But do not think we females of the stage
So dead to the refinements of the age,
That we agree with our old-fashion'd poet :
I am point blank against him, and I'll shew it :
And that my tongue may more politely run,
Make me a lady-Lady Blabington.
Now, with a rank and title to be free,
I'll make a catechism—and you shall see
What is the veritable beaume de vie :
As I change place I stand for that, or this-
My lady questions first- -then answers miss.

[She speaks as my Lady.]

"Come, tell me, child, what were our modes and dress,

In those strange times of that old fright, Queen Bess"

And now for miss

[She changes place, and speaks for Miss.]

When Bess was England's queen, Ladies were dismal beings, seldom seen; They rose betimes, and breakfasted as soon On beef and beer-then studied Greek till noon: Unpainted cheeks with blush of health did glow, Beruffed and fardingaled from top to toe, Nor necks, nor ancles, would they ever shew.

?

Learnt Greek!-[Laughs.]-Our outside head
takes half a day;
Have we much time to dress the inside, pray
No heads dress'd à la Greque; the ancients quote,
There may be learning in a papillote:
Cards are our classics; and I, Lady B,
In learning will not yield to any she
Of the late-founded female university.
But now for Lady Blab-

[Speaks as my Lady.]
"Tell me, Miss Nancy,

What sports and what employments did they fancy?"

[blocks in formation]

Next night the same sweet course of joy run o'er,

Then the night after as the night before,
And the night after that, encore, encore !

[She comes forward.]

Thus with our cards we shuffle off all sorrow, To-niorrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow! We deal apace, from youth unto our prime, To the last moment of our tabby time;

And all our yesterdays, from rout and drum,
Have lighted fools with empty pockets home.
Thus do our lives with rapture roll away,
Not with the nonsense of our author's play;
This is true life-true spirit-give it praise;
Don't snarl and sigh for good Queen Bess's days.
For all you look so sour, and bend the brow,
You all rejoice with me, you're living now,

[merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]

SCENE I.-A Street in Bath.

ACT I.

Coachman crosses the Stage-Enter FAG, looking after him.

Fag. What! Thomas! Sure 'tis he?-What! Thomas! Thomas!

Coach. Hey! Odd's life! Mr Fag! give us your hand, my old fellow-servant.

Fag. Excuse my glove, Thomas !-I'm devilish glad to see you, my lad: why, my prince of charioteers, you look as hearty!-But who the deuce thought of seeing you in Bath!

Coach. Sure, master, Madam Julia, Harry, Mrs Kate, and the postillion, be all come. Fag. Indeed!

Coach. Ay! Master thought another fit of the gout was coming to make him a visit; so he'd a mind to gi't the slip, and whip! we were all off at an hour's warning.

Fag. Ay, ay! hasty in every thing, or it would not be Sir Anthony Absolute.

Coach. But tell us, Mr Fag, how does young master? Odd! Sir Anthony will stare to see the captain here!

Fag. I do not serve Captain Absolute now.
Coach. Why, sure!

Fag. At present I am employed by Ensign Beverley.

Coach. I doubt, Mr Fag, you ha'n't changed for the better.

« PreviousContinue »