bel, you'll believe that I speak truth now, when I confess that I have told you hitherto nothing but lies:-our jesting is come to a sad earnest; she's downright distracted. Enter BISARRE. Bis. Where is this mighty victor!The great exploit is done; go triumph in the glory of your conquest-inhuman, barbarous man! Oh, sir, [To the old gentleman] your wretched ward has found a tender guardian of you; where her young innocence expected protection, here has she found her ruin. Old Mir. Ay, the fault is mine; for I believe that rogue wont marry, for fear of begetting such another disobedient son as his father did. I have done all I can, madam, and now can do no more than run mad for company. [Cries. Enter DUGARD, with his sword drawn. Dug. Away! Revenge, revenge. Old Mir. Patience, patience, sir. [Old MIRA BEL holds him.] Bob, draw. [Aside. Dug. Patience! The coward's virtue, and the brave man's failing, when thus provoked-—_Villain! Mir. Your sister's frenzy shall excuse your madness; and to shew my concern for what she suffers, I'll bear the villain from her brother.Put up your anger with your sword: I have a heart like yours, that swells at an affront received, but melts at an injury given; and if the lovely Oriana's grief be such a moving scene, 'twill find a part within this breast, perhaps as tender as a brother's. Dug. To prove that soft compassion for her grief, endeavour to remove it.-There, there, behold an object that's infective; I cannot view her, but I am as mad as she. Enter ORIANA, held by two Maids, who put her in a chair. A sister, that my dying parents left, with their last words and blessing, to my care.-Sister, dearest sister! [Goes to her. Old Mir. Ay, poor child, poor child, d'ye know me? Ori. You! you are Amadis de Gaul, sir!-Oh! Oh, my heart! were you never in love, fair lady? And do you never dream of flowers and gardens? I dream of walking fires, and tall gigantic sights. Take heed; it comes now-What's that?Pray stand away: I have seen that face sure. -How light my head is! Mir. What piercing charms has beauty, even in madness! these sudden starts of undigested words shoot through my soul, with more persuasive force than all the studied art of laboured eloquence.Come, madam, try to repose a little. Ori. I cannot; for I must be up to go to church, and I must dress me, put on my new gown, and be so fine, to meet my love. Heigho! -Will not you tell me where my heart lies buried? Mir. My very soul is touched-Your hand, my fair. Ori. How soft and gentle you feel !—I'll tell you your fortune, friend. Mir. How she stares upon me! Ori. You have a flattering face, but 'tis a fine one-I warrant you have five hundred mistresses, Ay, to be sure, a mistress for every guinea in his pocket-Will you pray for me?-I shall die to-morrow-And will you ring my passing bell? Mir. Oh, woman, woman, of artifice created! whose nature, even distracted, has a cunning; in vain let man his sense, his learning boast, when woman's madness over-rules his reason.-Do you know me, injured creature? Ori. No; but you shall be my intimate acquaintance in the grave. [Weeps. Mir. Oh, tears, I must believe you! Sure there is a kind of sympathy in madness; for even I, obdurate as I am, do feel my soul so tossed with storms of passion, that I could cry for help as well as she. [Wipes his eyes. Ori. What, have you lost your lover? No, you mock me. -I'll go home and pray. Mir. Stay, my fair innocent, and hear me own my love so loud, that I may call your senses to their place, restore them to their charming, happy functions, and reinstate myself into your fa Dur. Mad! dost wonder at that? By this light, they're all so; they're cozening mad, they're brawling mad, they're proud mad: I just now came from a whole world of mad women, that -What, is she dead? had almost Mir. Dead! Heavens forbid ! Dur. Heavens further it! for till they be as cold as a key, there's no trusting them; you're never sure that a woman's in earnest, till she is nailed in her coffin. Shall I talk to her?Are you mad, mistress? Bis. What's that to you, sir? Dur. Oons! madam, are you there? [Runs off. Mir. Away, thou wild buffoon! How poor and mean this humour now appears! His follies and my own I here disclaim; this lady's frenzy has restor'd my senses; and was she perfect now, as once she was, (before you all I speak it,) she | should be mine; and as she is, my tears and prayers shall wed her. Dug. How happy had this declaration been some hours ago! Bis. Sir, she beckons to you, and waves us to go off. Coine, come, let's leave them. [Exeunt all but MIR. and ORI. Ori. Oh, sir! Mir. Speak, my charming angel, if your dear senses have regained their order; speak, fair, and | bless me with the news. Ori. First, let me bless the cunning of my sex, that happy counterfeited frenzy, that has restored to my poor labouring breast the dearest, best beloved of men. Mir. Tune, all ye spheres, your instruments of joy, and carry round your spacious orbs the happy sound of Oriana's health! her soul, whose harmony was next to yours, is now in tune again; the counterfeiting fair has played the fool. She was so mad to counterfeit for me; my former frenzy was but counterfeit, I shall now Enter DURETete. Oh, my friend, let me run into thy bosom! no lark, escaped from the devouring pounces of a hawk, quakes with more dismal apprehension. Dur. The matter, man? Mir. Marriage, hanging; I was just at the gal lows'-foot, the running noose about my neck, and the cart wheeling from me. Oh, I sha'n't be myself this month again! Dur. Did I not tell you so? They are all alike, -saints or devils: their counterfeiting cann't be reputed a deceit, for 'tis the nature of the sex, not their contrivance. Mir. Ay, ay; there's no living here with sefree.curity; this house is so full of stratagem and design, that I must abroad again. Mir. As air, my dear bedlamite. What, marry a lunatic! Look ye, my dear, you have counterfeited madness so very well this bout, that you'll be apt to play the fool all your life long. -Here, gentlemen Ori. Monster! you won't disgrace me? Mir. O' my faith, but I will-here, come in, gentlemen-A miracle, a miracle! the woman's dispossessed! the devil's vanquished! Enter Old MIRABEL and DUGARD. Old Mir. Bless us! was she possessed? Mir. With the worst of demons, sir,-a marriage devil, a horrid devil. Mr. Dugard, don't be surprised; I promised my endeavours to cure your sister; no mad-doctor in Christendom could have done it more effectually. Take her into your charge; and have a care she don't relapse; if she should, employ me not again; for I am no more infallible than others of the faculty; I do cure sometimes. Ori. Your remedy, most barbarous man, will prove the greatest poison to my health; for though Dur. With all my heart; I'll bear thee company, my lad. I'll meet you at the play, and we'll set out for Italy to-morrow morning. Mir. A match: I'll go pay my compliment of leave to my father presently. Dur. I'm afraid he'll stop you. Mir. What, pretend a command over me, after his settlement of a thousand pounds a-year upon me! No, no, he has passed away his authority with the conveyance: the will of a living father is chiefly obeyed for the sake of the dying ACT V. SCENE I.-The Street, before the Play-house. Enter MIRABEL and DURETETE, as coming from the Play. Dur. How do you like this play? Mir. I liked the company: the lady, the rich beauty in the front box had my attention. These impudent poets bring the ladies together to support them, and to kill every body else. For deaths upon the stage the ladies cry, Dur. Hoity toity! Did Phyllis inspire you with all this? Mir. Ten times more: the play-house is the element of poetry, because the region of beauty; the ladies, methinks, have a more inspiring G triumphant air in the boxes than any where else; | handsome. [Noise without.] The play is done, and some of the ladies come this way. they sit commanding on their thrones, with all their subject slaves about them; their best clothes, best looks, shining jewels, sparkling eyes, the treasure of the world in a ring. Then there's such a hurry of pleasure to transport us; the bustle, noise, gallantry, equipage, garters, feathers, wigs, bows, smiles, ogles, love, music, and applause:-I could wish that my whole life long were the first night of a new play. Dur. The fellow has quite forgot this journey. -Have you bespoke post-horses? Mr. Grant me but three days, dear captain; one to discover the lady, one to unfold myself, and one to make me happy, and then I'm yours to the world's end. Dur. Hast thou the impudence to promise thyself a lady of her figure and quality in so short a time? Mir. Yes, sir; I have a confident address, no disagreeable person, and five hundred louis d'ors in my pocket. Dur. Five hundred louis d'ors! You an't mad? Enter LAMORCE, with her train borne up by a Mir. Duretete, the very dear, identical she! Mir. Why, 'tis she. Dur. And what then, sir? Mir. Then! Why--Look ye, sirrah, the first piece of service I put you upon, is to follow that lady's coach, and bring me word where she lives. [To. ORI Ori. I don't know the town, sir, and am afraid of losing myself. Mir. Pshaw! Lam. Page, what's become of all my people? Page. I cann't tell, madam ; I can see no sign of your ladyship's coach. Lam. That fellow is got into his old: pranks, and fallen drunk somewhere-none of my footmen there? Page. Not one, madam. Lam. These servants are the plague of our lives.-What shall I do? Mir. I tell you, she's worth five thousand; Mir. By all my hopes, Fortune pimps for me! Dur. But you have owned to me, that, abating Oriana's pretensions to marriage, you loved her passionately: then how can you wander at this rate? Mir. I longed for partridge t'other day off the king's plate; but d'ye think, because I could not have it, I must eat nothing? Dur. Pr'ythee, Mirabel, be quiet; you may remember what narrow escapes you have had abroad, by following strangers: you forget your leap out of the courtesan's window at Bologna, to save your fine ring there. Mir. My ring's a trifle; there's nothing we possess comparable to what we desire. Be shy of a lady, bare-faced, in the front-box, with a thousand pounds in jewels about her neck!-For shame! no more Enter ORIANA in Boy's Clothes, with a Letter. Ori. A letter from your uncle in Picardy. Ori. 'Tis my desire, sir; I should be pleased to serve a traveller in any capacity. Mir. A hopeful inclination. You shall along with me into Italy, as my page. Dur. I don't think it safe; the rogue's too Dir. Why, you won't, sure?. Mir. Won't, brute !-Let not your servants? neglect, madam, put your ladyship to any inconvenience; for you cann't be disappointed of an equipage whilst mine waits below; and would you honour the master so far, he would be proud to pay his attendance. Dur. Ay, to be sure. [Aside. Lam. Sir, I won't presume to be troublesome; for my habitation is a great way off. Dur. Very true, madam; and he is a little en gaged: besides, madam, a hackney-coach will do as well, madam. Mir. Rude beast, be quiet. [To DURETETE.] -The farther from home, madam, the more occasion you have for a guard-Pray, madamLam. Lard, sir!- [He seems to press, she to decline it, in dumb show. Dur. Ah, the devil's in his impudence! Now he wheedles, she smiles; he flatters, she simpers; he swears, she believes; he's a rogue, and she's a win a moment. Mir. Without, there! my coach!-Duretete, wish me joy. Hands the lady out. Dur. Wish you a surgeon !-Here, you little Picard, go, follow your master, and he'll lead you Ori. Whither, sir? Dur. To the academy, child; 'tis the fashion with men of quality to teach their pages their exercises-Go. Ori. Won't you go with him too, sir? That woman may do him some harm; I don't like her. Dur. Why, how now, Mr Page? Do you start up to give laws of a sudden? Do you pretend to rise at court, and disapprove the pleasure of your G betters? Look ye, sirrah, if ever you would rise by a great man, be sure to be with him in his little actions; and, as a step to your advancement, follow your master immediately, and make it your hope that he goes to a bawdy-house. Ori. Heavens forbid ! [Exit. Dur. Now would I sooner take a cart in company of the hangman, than a coach with that woman. What a strange antipathy have I taken against these creatures! A woman to me is aversion upon aversion, a cheese, a cat, a breast of mutton, the squalling of children, the grinding of knives, and the snuff of a candle. [Exit. SCENE II.—A handsome Apartment. Enter MIRABEL and LAMORCE. Lam. To convince me, sir, that your service was something more than good breeding, please to lay out an hour of your company upon my desire, as you have already upon my necessity. Mir. Your desire, madam, has only prevented my request. My hours! make them yours, madam; eleven, twelve, one, two, three, and all that belong to those happy minutes. Lum. But I must trouble you, sir, to dismiss your retinue; because an equipage at my door, at this time of night, will not be consistent with my reputation. Mir. By all means, madam, all but one little boy. Here, page; order my coach and servants home, and do you stay:-'tis a foolish country boy, that knows nothing but innocence. Lam. Innocence, sir! I should be sorry if you made any sinister constructions of my freedom. Mir. Oh, madam, I must not pretend to remark upon any body's freedom, having so entirely forfeited my own. Lam. Well, sir, 'twere convenient towards our easy correspondence, that we entered into a free confidence of each other, by a mutual declaration of what we are, and what we think of one another. Now, sir, what are you? Mir. In three words, madam--I am a gentleman; I have five hundred pounds in my pocket, and a clean shirt on. Lam. And your name is Mir. Mustapha--Now, madam, the inventory of your fortunes. Lam. My name is Lamorce; my birth noble; I was married young, to a proud, rude, sullen, impetuous fellow; the husband spoiled the gentleman; crying ruined my face, till at last I took heart, leaped out of a window, got away to my friends, sued my tyrant, and recovered my fortune. I lived from fifteen to twenty to please a husband; from twenty to forty I'm resolved to please myself; and from thence upwards I'll humour the world. Mir. The charming wild notes of a bird broke out of its cage! Lum. I marked you at the play, and something I saw of a well-furnished, careless, agreeable tour about you. Methought your eyes made their mannerly demands with such an arch mo desty, that I don't know how-but I'm elop'd— Ha, ha, ha !—I'm elop❜d. Mir. Ha, ha, ha!-I rejoice in your good fortune with all my heart. Lam. Oh, now I think on't, Mr Mustapha, you have got the finest ring there; I could scarcely believe it right; pray, let me see it. Mir. Hum!-Yes, madam,'tis-'tis right-but, but, but, but, but it was given me by my mother; an old family ring, madam; an old-fashioned family ring. Lam. Ay, sir-if you can entertain yourself with a song for a moment, I'll wait on you immediately. Come in there. Enter Singers. Call what you please, sir. [Exit. Mir. The new song- -Pr'ythee, Phyllis.— [Song.]-Certainly the stars have been in a strange intriguing humour when I was born. Ay, this night should I have had a bride in my arms, and that I should like well enough; but what should I have to-morrow night?-The same. And what next night?-The same. And what next night?— The very same-Soup for breakfast, soup for dinner, soup for supper, and soup for breakfast again-But here's variety. I love the fair who freely gives her heart, That's mine by ties of nature, not of art; Who boldly owns whate'er her thoughts indite, And is too modest for a hypocrite. LAMORCE appears at the door; as he runs towards her, four Bruvoes step in before her. He starts back. She comes, she comes!-Hum! hum!-Bitch!Murdered, murdered, to be sure! The cursed strumpet, to make me send away my servants! Nobody near me- -These cut-throats always make sure work. What shall I do? I have but one way. Are these gentlemen your relations, madam? Lam. Yes, sir. Mir. Gentlemen, your most humble servant. Sir, your most faithful; yours, sir, with all my heart; your most obedient. Come, gentlemen, [Salutes all round] please to sit—no ceremony— next the lady, pray, sir. Lam. Well, sir, and how d'ye like my friends? [They all sit. Mir. Oh, madam, the most finished gentlemen! I was never more happy in good company in my life.-I suppose, sir, you have travelled? 1st Bra. Yes, sir. Mir. Which way, sir, may I presume? 1st Bra. In a western barge, sir. Mir. Ha, ha, ha! Very pretty! facetious, pretty gentleman! Lam. Ha, ha, ha! Sir, you have got the prettiest ring upon your finger there Mir. Ah, madam, 'tis at your service with all my heart! [Offering the ring. Lam. By no means, sir; a family ring! [Takes it. Mir. Ods my life, sir, I beg your pardon; here it is! but it don't go, [Putting it up. Lam. Oh, dear sir, an English watch! Tompion's, I presume. Mir. D'ye like it, madam?--No ceremony--'tis at your service with all my heart and soul---Tompion's! Hang ye! [Aside. 1st Bra. But, sir, above all things, I admire the fashion and make of your sword-hilt. Mir. I am mightily glad you like it, sir. 1st Bra. Not sell it, sir! Mir. No, gentlemen; but I'll bestow it with all my heart. [Offering it. 1st Bra. Oh, sir, we shall rob you! Mir. That you do, I'll be sworn. [Aside.] I have another at home: pray, sir-Gentlemen, you're too modest: have I any thing else that you can fancy? Sir, will you do me a favour? To the 1st Bravo.] I am extremely in love with that wig which you wear; will you do me the favour to change with me? 1st Bra. Look ye, sir, this is a family wig, and I would not part with it; but if you like itMir. Sir, your most humble servant. [They change wigs. 1st Bra. Madam, your most humble slave. [Goes up foppishly to the lady, and salutes her. 2d Bra. The fellow's very liberal: shall we murder him? [Aside. 1st Bra. What, let him escape, to hang us all, and I to lose my wig! No, no; I want but a handsome pretence to quarrel with him; for you know we must act like gentlemen. [Aside.] Here, some wine. [Wine here.] Sir, your good health. [Pulls MIRABEL by the nose. Mir. Oh, sir, your most humble servant! A pleasant frolic enough, to drink a man's health, and pull him by the nose. Ha, ha, ha! the pleasantest, pretty-humoured gentleman! Lam. Help the gentleman to a glass. [MIR. drinks. 1st Bra. How d'ye like the wine, sir? Mir. Very good o' the kind, sir. But I tell ye what; I find we are all inclined to be frolicsome, and 'egad, for my own part, I was never more disposed to be merry. Let's make a night on't; ha!-This wine is pretty; but I have such Burgundy at home-Look ye, gentlemen, let me send for half a dozen flasks of my Burgundy; I defy France to match it-Twill make us all life, all air: pray, gentlemen— 2d Bra. Eh—shall us have the Burgundy? 1st Bra. Yes, faith, we'll have all we can. Here, call up the gentleman's servant-What think you, Lamorce? -Your servant is a foolish Lam. Yes, yes. 1st Bra. Sir, you were pleased to like my wig, have you any fancy for my coat? Look ye, sir, it has served a great many honest gentlemen very faithfully. Mir. Not so faithfully, for I'm afraid it has got a scurvy trick of leaving all its masters in necessity. The insolence of these dogs is beyond their cruelty. [Aside. Lam. You're melancholy, sir. Mir. Only concerned, madam, that I should have no servant here but this little boy; he'll make some confounded blunder, I'll lay my life on't: I would not be disappointed of my wine for the universe. Lam. He'll do well enough, sir. But supper's ready; will you please to eat a bit, sir? Mir. Oh, madam, I never had a better stomach in my life! Lam. Come, then; we have nothing but a plate of soup. Mir. [Aside.] Ah, the marriage-soup I could dispense with now! [Exit, handing the lady. 2d Bra. That wig won't fall to your share. 1st Bra. No, no, we'll settle that after supper; in the mean time the gentleman shall wear it. 2d Bra. Shall we dispatch him? 3d Bra. To be sure. I think he knows me. 1st Bra. Ay, ay, dead men tell no tales: I wonder at the impudence of the English rogues, that will hazard the meeting a man at the bar, whom they have encountered upon the road. I ha'n't the confidence to look a man in the face after I have done him an injury; therefore we'll murder him. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-Changes to Old MIRABEL's House. Enter DURetete. Dur. My friend has forsaken me, I have abandoned my mistress, my time lies heavy upon my hands, and my money burns in my pocket. But, now I think on't, my myrmidons are upon duty to |