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him.) You're always calling for assistance, I suspected your infamy, and having this proof of thing--you never give one time to come to one's it, I could stab your treacherous heart, and my self-Mr. Dotterel has seen your letter, and vows own weak one-Don't offer to stir, or ring your vengeance and destruction—Why would you be bell; for, by Heavens, I'llso violent and imprudent.

[Catches hold of him. Duf. The devil was in me, madam;

Daf. I stir! I am never so happy, as when I pent it from my soul; it has cured me of being am in your company.. violent.

Mrs. Dot. Thou liest: Thou art never so Mrs. Dot. Come, come, don't take it too deep- happy as when thou art deceiving, and betraying ly neither; I thought it proper, at all bazards, our foolish sex- and all for what? Why, to let you know what had happened, and to in- for the poor reputation of having that, which treat you, by that affection you have sworn to thou hast neither power nor spirit to enjoy. me, to be careful of my reputation.

Daf. Ha! I hear somebody coming-Now for Daf. That I will indeed, madam; we can't a rapture. (Aside.] Talk not of power or spirit be too careful.

Heaven, that has made you fair, has made me Mrs. Dot. Well, Mr. Daffodil, I am an un- strong- -O! forgive the madness which your happy woman-married to one I cannot love; beauty has occasioned ! and loving one I ought to shun-It is a terrible

[Throws himself upon his knees. situation, Mr. DaffodilDaf. It is indeed, madam-I am in a ter

Enter Servant. rible one too -Would I was well out of it!

[Aside. Ser. The Marquis of MacaroonsMrs. Dot. Do you know, Mr. Daffodil, that

(Erit Servant. if I had not been very religious, my passions would have undone me

Enter Sophia. -But you must give me time, for nothing but that, and keeping the Mrs. Dot. Ha ! [Screams.] I am betrayed ! best company, will ever conquer my preju- [They all stare, and DAFFODIL seemingly dices

astonished. Daf. I should be very ungenerous not to al- Soph, Mrs. Dotterel, by all that's virtuous ! low you time, madam-three weeks or a month, [Aside.]--Signior Daffodillo-resto confuso, tat I hope will do the business-Though, by my ho- I am com si mal-a-proposito. nour, I got the better of mine in half the time- Daf. Dear marquis, no excuse, I beg-nothing What is Rutile doing ?

[ Aside. at all

-a relation of mine–my sister only-Miss Mrs. Dot. He's very cold, methinks; but I'll Daffodil; this is il Merchese de Maccaroni, an try him further-Looky'e, Mr. Daffodil, you must intimate of Sir Charles Vainlove's—this was curb your passions, and keep your distance- lucky.—[Aside.]-Well, then, my dear sister, I Fire is catching, and one does not know the con- will wait upon you to-morrow, and settle the sequences when once it begins to spread. whole affair-[Åloud.]-I am the most miser

Daf. As you say, madam, fire is catching ;'tis able of mortals, and have lost the most precious dangerous to play with it; and as I am of the moments of my life. tinder kind--as one may say—we bad better, as

[Aside to Mrs. DOTTEREL. you say--madam-change the subject.—Pray,

Mrs. Dot. You are a villain! I despise you, did you ever hear of the pug-dog that you adver- and detest you, and will never see you more. tised? It was a very pretty creature—what was

[Erit Mrs. DOTTEREL. his name, madam?

Daf. Ha, ha, ha! my sister has a noble spirit, Mrs. Dot. Daffodil, sir !

[Stifling her passion. Soph. Mi dispiace infinamente--it tisplis me, Daf. Madam!

tat I haf interrumpato gli affari of your famili. Mrs. Dot. Could I love and esteem any thing, Daf. It is the old family business, my lord; and not call it Daffodil ?-What a wretch! and so old, that, by my honour, I am quite tired

[Aside. of it. Daf. You do me honour, madam–I don't like Soph. I hate him already.—[Aside.)—Signor her looks; I must change the discourse. (Aside.) Daffodillo, she is una belissima sorella, in verità, Upon my soul, Mrs. Dotterel, this struggle is too a very prit' sis' intit. much for man: My passions are now tearing Daf. I must confess to you, my lord, that my me to pieces, and if you will stay, by heaven I sister is a young distressed damsel, married to will not answer for the consequences !

an old gentleman of the neighbourhood, ha, ha, Mrs. Dot. Consequences ! What

conse- ha! quences! Thou wretched, base, false, worthless Soph. O Cara Inghilterra! vat a fortunata animal!

contrée is tis! te olt men marri de

yong

fine Daf. You do me honour! [Bowing. girl, and te yong fine girl visite te yong signors

Mrs. Dot. Canst thou think, that I am so 10, preciosa libertà ! blinded by my passion, not to see thy tren- Daf. Indeed, my lord, men of fashion, here, cherous, wean, unmanly evasions .--I have long have some sınall privileges; we gather our roses

my lord.

a

me.

without fear of thorns-husbands and brothers Soph. Cosa é questacosa, é-vat is? don't deal in poison and stilettos, as they do Daf. There are two fine girls, you must know, with you.

cousins, who live together; this is a letter from Soph. Il nostro amico, Signor Carlo,'has tol me one of them, Sophia is her name; I have ada tousant volti, dat you vas de Orlando Innamo- dressed them both, but as matters become a rato himself.

little serious on their side, I must raise a jeaDaf. But not Furioso, I can assure you, lousy between the friends, discover to one the my lord, ha, ha, ha! I am for variety, and treachery of the other; and so, in the bustle, badinage, without affection-reputation is the steal off as quietly as I can. great ornament, and ease the great happiness of Soph. 0! Spiritoso amico–I can scarce conLife-to ruin women would be troublesome; to tain myself.

[ Aside. trifle and make love to them, amuses one. I Daf. Before the mine is sprung, I will introuse my women as daintily as my tokay; I mere- duce you into the town. ly sip of both, but more than half a glass palls Soph. You are great generalissimo in verita md.

I feel in miò core vat de poor infelice Sophia vil Sopb. Il mio proprio gusto—Tukely is right; feel for the loss of Signor Daffadillo. he's a villain.-[Aside.]-Signor Daffodillo, vil Daf. Yes, poor creature! I believe she'll have you do me de favor to give me stranger, una in-a pang or two-tender, indeed! and I believe troduzione to some of your signorine'; let dostro will be unhappy for some time. amico taste a littel, un poco of your dulce tokay: Soph. What a monster!

Aside. Daf. 0, certamente! I have half a hundred Daf. You must dine with our club tosignorines at your service.

day, where I will introduce you to more of Sir Soph. Multo obligato, Signor Daffodillo, Charles's friends, all men of figure and fashion.

Soph. I must primo haf my lettere, dat your
Enter Servant.

amici
may

be assicurati dat I am no impostore.

Daf. In the name of politeness, my lord marSer. Here's a letter for your honour. quis, don't mention your letters again; none but

Surlily. a justice of peace, or a constable, would ever Daf. What is the matter with the fellow? ask for a certificate of a man's birth, parentage,

Ser. Matter your honour! the lady that went and education, ha, ha, ha! out just now, gave me such a souse on the ear, Soph. Viva, viva il Signor Daffodillo! You shall as I made

my bow to her, that I could scarce be il mio conduttore in tutte le partite of love tell, for a minute, whether I had a head or no. and pleasure. Daf. Ha, ha!

poor fellow! there's smart mo- Daf. With all my heart ! you must give me ney for you.-{Gives him money.]-[Exit Ser.] leave, now, my lord, to put on my clothes--in -Will your lordship give me leave?

the mean time, if your lordship will step into Soph. Senza ceremonie-now for it. (Aside. my study there, if you chuse music, there

is a guitar, and some Venetian ballads; or, if DAFFODIL reads.

you like reading, there's infidelity and bawdy “SIR,

novels for you; call Ruftle, there.

[Erit DAFFODIL. I shall return from the country next week, Soph. (Looking after him. I am shocked at and shall hope to meet you at Lady Fanny Pewit's him; he is really more abandoned than Tukely's assembly next Wednesday.

jealousy described him. I have got my proofs, I am very much your humble servant, ат

and will not venture any further. I am vexed • Sophia SPRIGHTLY.'

that I should be angry at him, when I should

only despise him : but I am so angry, that I could My lord marquis, here is a letter luas started might demand satisfaction for the injury he has

almost wish myself a man, that my breeches game for you already-the most lucky thought done my petticoats. imaginable!

[Erit.

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ACT II.

SCENE I.-Mrs. Damper's Lodgings. Ara. All this may be true, Sophy every Enter ARABELLA and Sophia.

young fellow has his vanities; fashion has made

such irregularities accomplishments, and the Soph. In short, his own declarations, the unex-man may be worth having, for all your discopected meeting of Mrs. Dotterel, his usage of veries. my letter, and twenty things beside, determined Soph. What! an abandoned, rash, profligate me not to go among the set of them-So, mak-male-coquette! a wretch, who can assume pasing the best excuse I could, I got quit of him and sions he never feels, and sport with our sex's frailhis companions.

tiesn-fie, fie, Bell!

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ments.

Ara. Well, well

, you are too angry to be mer- | stand cooling my heels, here, while you are makciful; if he is such a monster, I am glad you are ing yourselves ridiculous ? out of his clutches, and that you can so easily Soph. Bell's in the right-to business, to busiresign him to another.

ness--Mr. Tukely, you must introduce me to Soph. To another! there is not that woman, be the ladies; I can at least make as good a figure she ever so handsome, that I hate enough, to as Mr. Daffodil among them. wish her so much evil; and happy it is for you,

[Erit Sophia and TUKELY. Bell, that you have a heart to resist his allure- Ara. When Daffodil's real inclinations are

known, how those poor wretches will be disapAra. Yes, I thank my stars~ I am not so sus- pointed !

[Erit Ara. ceptible of impressions of that kind-and yet-I won't swear-it an agreeable man-1-1

Soph. No, no, Bell, you are not absolute stone SCENE II.- The Club-room. you, you may be mollified-she is confounded

[Aside. Lord RACKET, Sir TAN-Tivy, SIR WILLIAM Ara. Surely he has not betrayed me-- tis im

m

Wuister, SPINNER writing, and DAFFODIL. possible! I cannot be deceived. [Aside.

[Waiter behind. Soph. Well, shall we go in to the ladies and Mr. Tukely? Were they not surprized when he Daf. What do you say, my lord ? that I don't opened the business to them?

do it in an hour? Ara. 'Twas the finest scene imaginable-You

Lord Rac. Not in an hour and a half, George. could see, though they all endeavoured to hide

Daf. Done with you, my lord! I'll take your their liking to Datfodil, all were uneasy at Tuke- seven to five-seventy pounds to fifty! ly's discovery. At first they objected to his Lord Rac. Done-I lay the odds again, with scheme; but they began to listen to his proposal you, Sir William, and with you, Sir Tivy. the moment I was called out to you; what far

Sir Wil. Not I, faith; Daffodil has too many ther he intends, is a secret to us all; but here he fine women-he'll never do it. comes, and without the ladies.

Daf. I'll go into the country for a week, and

not a petticoat shall come near me -I'll take the Enter TUKEEY.

odds again.

Sir Tan, Done, Daffodil!
Tuke. Pray, Miss Bell-Bless me! Miss So- Lord Rac. You are to hop upon one leg, with-
phy returned! I dare not ask—and yet, if my out changing, mind that_Set it down, Spinner.
eyes do not flatter my heart--your looks

Spin. I have~Shall I read it?
Soph. Don't rely too much upon looks, Mr. Lord Rac. Silence in the court.
Tukely.
Tuke. Madam—why, sure-

Spin. [Reads. ]— Lord Racket has betted seSoph. Don't imagine, I say, that you can always venty pounds to fifty, with the honourable see the mind in the face.

George Daffodil, that the latter does not walk Tuke. I can see, madam, that your mind is from Buckingham-gate to the Bun-house, at not disposed to wish, or make me happy.

Chelsea, eat a bun there, run back to the turnSoph. Did not I bid you not to rely upon looks? pike, and from thence hop upon one leg, with for, do you know, now, that my mind is at this the other tied to the cue of his wig, to Buckingtime most absolutely disposed to do every thing ham-gate again, in an hour and a half.' that you would have me.

[Curtsies. Tuke. Then I have nothing more to wish, or

Daf. I say, done!

Lord Rac. And done! ask of fortune. (Kneels and kisses her hand. Ara. Come, come; this is no time to attend

Sir Wil. Consider your women—you'll never

do it, George. to one, when you have so many ladies to take care of.

Daf. Not do it!--[Hops.]-Why, I'll get a Tuke. I will not yet enquire into your adven

Chelsea pensioner shall do in an hour, with tures, till I have accomplished my own.

his wooden leg-a The

-What day shall we fix

for it? ladies within have at last agreed to attend me this evening; where, if you have a mind to finish

Sir Wil. The first of April, to be sure. the picture you have begun this morning, an op

All. lla, ha, ha! portunity may ofier.

Lord Ruc. Come, Daffodil, read the bets and Soph. I am contented with my sketch-how

matches of to-day-then let us finish our cham-. ever, I'll make one; and if you have an occasion paigne, and go to the opera. for a second in any thing-I am your man- Daf. [Reads.] – March 24, 1757, Sir Tancoinmand me.

Tidy has pitted Lady Pettitoe, against Donager Tuke. A match from this moment I take you Lady Periwinkle, with Sir William H'hister, for as my second ; nay, my first, in every circum-five hundred pounds.' I'll pit my uncle, Lord stance of our future lives.

Chalkstone, against them both. Ara. Mighty pretty, truly! and so I am to Sir Tan. Done!

caz:15 sirr :

get there.

you a hun

a

Lord Rac. The odds are against you, Daffodil Diz. You are heartily welcome to any one of --my lord has got to plain Nantz, now, every them, gentlemen, for a proper purpose-bugli, morning.

hugh! Daf. And the ladies have been at it, to my Lord Rac. Well said, Dick! How quick his knowledge, this half year.

wit, and how youthful the rogue looks! Lord Rac. Good again, George !

Daf. Bloomy and plump—the country air is Sir Wil. (Reads.] The honourable George

a fine thing, my lord. Daffodil has betted one hundred pounds, with I am not so ill as you may wish or imagine; I

Diz. Well, well, be as jocular as you please; Sir William Whister, that he produces a gentle can walk to Knightsbridge in an hour, for a hunman, before the fifth of June nest, that shall dred pounds. live for five days successively, without eating, drinking, or sleeping.' He must have no books,

Lord Rac. I bet you a hundred of that, Dizzy! George?

Daf. I'll lay you a hundred, Dick, that I drive Daf. No, no; the gentleman I mean, can't

a sow and pigs to your lodgings, before you can read. Sir Wil. 'Tis not yourself, George!

Diz. Done, I say! [Draws his purse.] Done! Omnes. Ha, ha, ha! 'tis impossible; it must

Two hundred-done-three !

Lord Rac. I'll take Dizzy against your sow kill him.

and pigs ! Daf. Why, then, I'll lose my bet.—Reads.)-. Sir Wil. I take the field against Dizzy. Lord Racket has matched Sir Joslin Jolly, &

Lord Rac. Done! gainst Major Calipash, with Sir Tun-Tivy, to

Spin. Done! run fifty yards upon the Mall, after dinner : with the thoughts of running with them, that I

Diz. Damn your sow and pigs ! I am so sick if either l umbles, the wager is lost-for fifty shall certainly faint. [Smells to a bottle.—. pounds.'

Hugh, hugh! Spin. I'll lay fifty more, neither of them run

Daf. Cousin Dizzy can't bear the mention of the ground in half an hour.

pork; he hates it- -I knew it would work. Daf. Not in an hour! Sir Tax. Done, Daffodil! I'll bet

[Aside to the rest. Diz.

I wish you had not mentioned it I can't dred of that. Daf. Done, baronet! I'll double it, if you call a chair-Damn your sow and pigs !--hugh,

stay-Damn your sow and pigs !--Here, waiter, will.

hugh!

(Erit Dizzy. Sir Tan. With all my heart-book it, Spinner.

[SPINNER writes. Ha, ha, ha!

Daf. Poor Dizzy! What a passion he is in! Lord Rac. You'll certainly lose, George. Lord Rac. The woods are yours, George; Daf. Impossible, my lord, Sir Joslin is damn

you may

whet the axe; Dizzy won't live a month. ably out of wind.

Daf. Pooh, this is nothing; he was always Lord Rac. What, asthmatic?

weakly. Daf. No, quite cured of his asthma—he died

Sir Wil, 'Tis a family misfortune, Daffodil. yesterday morning-Bite. All. Bravo, George!

Enter Waiter. Lord Rac. Now you talk of dying, how does your cousin Dizzy?

Wuit. Mr. Dizzy, gentlemen, dropped down at Daf: Lingers on, better and worse-Lives the stair-foot, and the cook has carried him beupon asses milk, Panada, and Eringo root. hind the bar.

Lord Rac. You'll have a wind-fall there, Daf. Lay him upon a bed, and he'll come to George; a good two thousand a year.

himself.

[Erit Waiter. Daf. 'Tis better, my lord; but I love Dick so Lord Rac. I'll bet fifty pound that he don't well, and have had so many obligations to him live till morning: --he saved my life once-that I could wish him Sir Wil. I'll lay six to four he don't live a better health

week. Sir Wil. Or in a better place; there's devilish Daf. I'll take your fifty pounds. fine timber in Staunton woods.

Spin. I'll take your lordship again. Sir Tan. Down with them, Daffodil.

Lord Rac. Done with

you

both! Lord Rac. But let Dizzy drop first; a little

Sir Tan. I'll take it again. blast will fell him.

Lord Rac. Done, done, done! but I bar all

assistance to him; not a physician or surgeon Enter Dizzy.

sent for, or I am off. Diz. Not so little as you may imagine, my Daf. No, no; we are upon honour. There lord-Hugh, hugh

(Coughs. shall be none, else it would be a bubble bet All. Ha, ha, ha!

There shall be none. Daf. Angels and ministers ! what, cousin! We Sir Wil. If I were my lord, now, the physiwere got among your trees.

cians should attend him.

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a

will

Enter Waiter, with a letter.

1st Wait. I'll lay you, Tom, five sixpences to three, that

my

lord wins his bett with his honour Wait. A letter for his honour.

Daffodil. [Gives it to DAFFODIL, who reads it to

2d Wait. Done with you, Harry; I'll take himself.

your half crown to eighteenpenceSir Wil. Daffodil, remember the first of April,

[Bell rings within. and let the women alone.

1st Wait. Coming, sir-I'lï make it shillings, Daf. Upon my soul, you have hit it! 'tis a Tom. woman, faith! Something very particular; and 2d Wait. No, Harry, you've the best on't. if you are in spirits for a scheme

[Bell rinys.) Coming, sir. I'll take five shillings Lord Rac. Ay, ay; come, come; a scheme, to two. [Bell rings.] Coming, sir.-a scheme !

1st Wait. Coming, sir.- -No, five to three. Daf. There, then, have among you!

2d Wait. Shillings

Coming, sir. [Throws the letter upon the table. 1st Wait. No-Sixpences— Lord Rac. (Reads, all looking on.] Hum- 2d Wait. And done. [Bell rings.] Coming, If the liking your person be a-sin, what woman

sir.

[Ereunt. is not guilty ??—hum-hum- at the end of the Bird-cage Walkabout seven-where the

SCENE III.—The Park. darkness and privacy will befriend my blushes ; I will convince you what trust I have in your Enter ARABELLA, Mrs. DamPLY, Lady FAN secrecy and honour. Yours,

• INCOGNITA. Pewit, Mrs. DotterEL, TUKELY in women's Daf. Will you go?

clothes, and Sophia in men's. Lord Rac. What do you propose?

Ladies. Ha, ha, ha! Daf. To go–If after I have been with her Ara. What a figure! and what a scheme! half an hour, you'll come upon us, and have a

Tuke. Dear ladies, be as merry with my fiblow up:

gure as you please Yet you shall see this Sir Wil. There's a gallant for you!

figure, aukward as it is, shall be preferred in its Daf. Pr’ythee, Sir William, be quiet; must a turn, as well as you have been. man be in love with every woman that invites Soph. Why you give yourself this unneceshim !

sary trouble, Mr. Tukely, to convince these laSir Wil. No; but he should be honourable to dies, who had rather still be deluded, and will them, George, and rather conceal a woman's hate your friendship for breaking the charm? weakness, than expose it-I hate this work-so, Ara. My dear cousin, though you are satisfied, I'll go to the coffee-house. [Exit Sir William. these ladies are not; and, if they have their par

Lord Rac. Let him go-don't mind him, ticular reasons for their infidelity, pray, let them George; he's married, and past fifty-this will enjoy it, 'till they have other proofs than your be a fine frolic-devilish high!

prejudices. Daf. Very!-Well, I'll go and prepare my- Soph. Ay, Bell, we have all our prejudices. self; put on my surtout, and take my chair to Tuke. What signifies reasoning, when we are Buckingham-gate. I know the very spot. going upon the experiment? Dispose of yourselves

Lord Rac. We'll come with flambeaux; you behind those trees, and I will repair to the place must be surprised, and

of appointment, and draw him hither; but you Daf. I know what to do – Here, waiter, promise to contain yourselves, let what will hapwaiter!

pen. Hear, and see; but be silentEnter Waiter,

[Erit TUKELY.

Soph. A severe injunction, indeed, ladies-But How does cousin Dizzy?

I must to my post.

[Erit Sophia. Wait. Quite recovered, sir. He is in the Phæ- Mrs. Damp. If he's a villain, I can never hold! nix with two ladies, and has ordered a boiled Lady Pew. I shall tear his eyes out! chicken and jellies.

Mrs. Dot. For my part, if I was unmarried, I Lord Rac. There's a blood for you! without a

should not think him worth my anger. drop in his veins.

Ara. But as you are, madam Daf. Do you stay with him, then, till I have Mrs. Dot. I understand your insinuations, Miss secured my lady; and in half an hour from this Bell; but my character and conduct need no justime, come away, and bring Dizzy with you. tification.

Lord Rac. If he'll leave the ladies-Don't the Ara. I beg pardon, madam ; I intended no alian Marquis dine with us to-morrow! offence.—But haste to your posts, ladies; the Daf. Certainly.

enemy's at hand. [They retire behind the trees. Lord Rac. Well, do you mind your business,

Enter Tukely and DAFFODIL. and I'll speak to the cook to shew his geniusAllons! (Erit Dafr.] Tom, hid the cook attend Tuke. [In a woman's voice.] For Heaven's me to-morrow morning, on special affairs. sake, let us be cautious! I am sure I heard a

[Erit LORD RACKET, &c. noise. 3d Wait. I shall, my lord.

Daf. 'Twas nothing but your fear, my angel !

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