those of our country, be easily evaded; and though reason may suggest some disagreeable reflections, yet when the stroke is to be given, we must submit to it. Miss Har. He still continues in his error, and I cannot undeceive him. Heart. Do you think, my dear, that he is much troubled with these qualities? Miss Har. Pray indulge me, sir. Heart. I beg your pardon. Your humility [Aside. and modesty will not suffer you to perceive it? Heart. Shall I take the liberty of telling you,[Writes.] Šo. my dear. [Taking her hand.] You tremble, Harriet! What is the matter with you? Miss Har. Nothing, sir. Pray, go on. * Heart. I guess whence proceeds all your uneasiness. You fear that the world will not be so readily convinced of this young gentleman's merit as you are: and, indeed, I could wish him more deserving of you; but your regard for him gives him a merit he otherwise would have wanted, and almost makes me blind to his frailties. Miss Har. And would you advise me, sir, to make choice of this young gentleman? Heart. I would advise you, as I always have done, to consult your own heart upon such an occasion. Miss Har. Every thing tells you, that it is you that I love." In gratitude to you.' [Aside. Miss Har. Yet my passion is a most disinterested one.' Miss Har. If that is your advice, I will most [Writes.] I must write what she would have me. religiously follow it; and, for the last time, I am resolved to discover my real sentiments; but, as a confession of this kind will not become me, I have been thinking of some innocent stratagem to spare my blushes, and in part to relieve me from the shame of a declaration. Might I be permitted to write to him? Heart. I think you may, my dear, without the least offence to your delicacy! And, indeed, you ought to explain yourself; your late misunderstanding makes it absolutely neces sary. Miss Har. Will you be kind enough to assist me? Will you write for me, sir? Heart. Oh, most willingly! And as I am made a party, it will remove all objections. Miss Har. I will dictate to you in the best manner I am able. [Sighing. Heart. And here is pen, ink, and paper, to obey your commands. [Draws the table. Miss Har. How my heart beats! I fear I cannot go through it. [Aside. Heart. Now, my dear, I am ready. Don't be disturbed. He is certainly a man of family; and though he has some little faults, time, and your virtues, will correct them. Come, what shall I write? [Preparing to write. Miss Hur. Pray, give me a moment's thought. Tis a terrible task, Mr. Heartly. Heart. I know it is. Don't hurry yourrelf: I shall wait with patience. Come, Miss Harriet Heart. Most disinterested one.' [Writes. Miss Har. And to convince you, that you owe much more to my affections' Heart. And, then? Heart. What, did it escape you in your confusion? Miss Har. It did, indeed. Heart. What must I put in its place? Miss Har. Indeed I don't know. I have said more than enough to make myself under stood. Heart. Then, I'll only finish your letter with the usual compliment, and send it away. Miss Har. Yes; send it away; if you think I ought to send it. L Heart. [Troubled.] Ought to send it! Who's so much upon his guard against the approaches there? Carry this letter Enter a Servant. of vanity, yet he will find himself weak in that quarter. Had not my reason made a little stand against my presumption, I might have interpreted some of Harriet's word's in my own favour; but I may well blush, though alone, [An action escapes from HARRIET, as if to at my extravagant folly! Can it be possible, hinder the sending the letter.] Is it not for Mr. Clackit? Miss Har. [Peevishly.] Who can it be for? that so young a creature should even cast a thought of that kind upon me? Upon me! Presumptuous vanity!-No, no; I will do her and Heart. [To the Servant.] Here, take this let-myself the justice to acknowledge, that, for a ter to Mr. Clackit. [Gives a letter.] very few slight appearances, there are a thousand reasons that destroy so ridiculous a supposition. Heart. I am thunderstruck! [Exit Servant. Miss Har. What a terrible situation! Aside. Aside. [Aside. Aside. Heart. My prudence fails me! Miss Har. He disapproves my passion, and I shall die with confusion! [Aside. Enter Lucy. Lucy. The conversation is over, and I may appear. [Aside.] Sir Charles is without, sir, and is impatient to know your determination. May he be permitted to see you? Heart. [Aside.] I must retire to conceal my weakness. [Exit. Lucy. Upon my word, this is very whimsical! -What is the reason, miss, that your guardian is gone away without giving me an answer? Miss Har. What a contempt he must have for me, to behave in this manner! [Exit. Lucy. Extremely well this, and equally foolish on both sides! But what can be the meaning of it? Ho, ho, I think I have a glimmering at last. Suppose she should not like young Shatterbrains after all; and, indeed, she has never absolutely said she did; who knows but she has at last opened her mind to my good master, and he, finding her taste (like that of other girls at her age) most particularly ridiculous, has not been so complaisant as he used to be. What a shame it is, that I don't know more of this matter, a wench of spirit as I am, a favourite of my mistress, and as inquisitive as I ought to be! It is an affront to my character, and I must have satisfaction immediately. [Going.] I will go directly to my young mistress; teaze her to death, till I am at the bottom of this; and if threatening, soothing, scolding, whimpering, crying, and lying, will not prevail, I will e'en give her warning, and go upon the stage. Enter HEARTLY. Enter SIR CHARLES. Sir Cha. Well, Mr. Heartly, what are we to hope for? Heart. Upon my word, sir, I am still in the dark; we puzzle about, indeed, but we don't get forward. Sir Cha. What the devil is the meaning of all this? There never sure were lovers so difficult to bring together. But have you not been a little too rough with the lady? For as I passed by her but now, she seemed a little out of humour; and, upon my faith, not the less beautiful for a little pouting. Heart. Upon my word, Sir Charles, what I can collect from her behaviour is, that your ne phew is not so much in her good graces, as he made you believe. Sir Cha. 'Egad, like enough. But, hold, hold! this must be looked a little into: If it is so, I would be glad to know, why, and wherefore, I have been made so ridiculous. Eh, Mr. Heartly, does he take me for his fool, his beast, his Merry Andrew? By the Lord Harry Heart. In him, a little vanity is excusable. Sir Cha. I am his vanity's humble servant for that, though. Heart. He is of an age, Sir Charles Sir Chu. Ay, of an age to be very impertinent; but I shall desire him to be less free with his uncle for the future, I assure him. Enter Lucy. Lucy. I have it, I have it, gentlemen! You need not puzzle any more about the matter. I have got the secret. I know the knight-errant that has wounded our distressed lady. Sir Cha. Well, and who, and what, child? Heart. Not directly. Heart. The more I reflect upon what has passed, the more I am convinced, that she did not intend writing to this young fellow. What am I to think of it then? Let a man be ever Sir Cha. Well, what? Lucy. That, in the first place, she did not like your nephew. Sir Cha. And I told the puppy so. Lucy. In short, as she had openly declared against the nephew, I took upon me to speak of his uncle. Sir Cha. Of ine, child? Lucy. Yes, of you, sir- -And she did not say me nay, but cast such a look, and fetched such a sigh, that if ever I looked, and sighed in my life, I know how it is with her. Sir Cha. What the devil! Why, surely-Eh, Lucy? You joke for certain. Mr. Heartly! Eh? Lucy. Indeed I do not, sir. 'Twas in vain for me to say, that nothing could be so ridiculons as such a choice. Nay, sir, I went a little farther (you'll excuse me), and told her-Good God, madam! said I, why, he is old and gouty, asthmatic, rheumatic, sciatic, spleen-atic-It signified nothing; she had determined. Sir Cha. But you need not have told her all that. Heart. I am persuaded, Sir Charles, that a good heart and a good mind will prevail more with that young lady, than the most fashionable accomplishments. Sir Cha. I'll tell you what, neighbour, I have had my days, and have been well received among the ladies, I have. But, in truth, I am rather in my winter, than my autumn; she must mean somebody else. Now I think again, it can't be me. No, no; it can't be me. Lucy. But I tell you it is, sir. You are the man. Her stars have decreed it; and what they decree, though ever so ridiculous, must come to pass. Sir Cha. Say you so? Why, then, monsieur nephew, I shall have a little laugh with you, ha, ha, ha! The tit bit is not for, you, my nice sir. Your betters must be served before you. But here he comes. Not a word, for your life. We'll laugh at him most triumphantly, ha, ha! but Sir Cha. Do you hear the puppy? [To LUCY. Heart. Miss Harriet, sir, was not destined for you. Young Cla. What do you say, sir. Heart. That the young lady has fixed her affections upon another! Young Cla. Upon another? Sir Cha. Yes, sir, another: That is English, sir; and you may translate it into French, if you like it better. Young Cla. Vous êtes bien drole, mon oncle. -Ha, ha! Sir Cha. Ay, ay, show your teeth, you have nothing else for it. But she has fixed her heart upon another, I tell you. Young Clu. Very well, sir; extremely well. Sir Cha. And that other, sir, is one to whom you owe great respect. Young Cla. I am his most respectful humble servant. Sir Cha. You are a fine youth, my sweet nephew, to tell me a story of a cock and a bull, of you and the young lady, when you have no more interest in her than the czar of Muscovy. Young Cla. [Smiling.] But, my dear uncle, don't carry this jest too far-I shall begin to be uneasy. Sir Cha. Ay, ay; I know your vanity: You think now, that the women are all for you young fellows. Young Cla. Nine hundred and ninety-nine in a thousand, I believe, uncle: Ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. You'll make a damned foolish figure by and by, Jack! Young Cla. Whoever my precious rival is, he must prepare himself for a little humility; for be he ever so mighty, my dear uncle, I have that in my pocket will lower his top-sails for him. [Searching his pockets. Sir Cha. Well, what's that? Young Cla. A fourteen pounder only, my good uncle-A letter from the lady. [Takes it out of his pocket-book. Sir Cha. What, to you? Young Cla. To me, sir-This moment received, and overflowing with the tenderest sentiments. Sir Cha. To vou! Young Cla. Most undoubtedly. She reproaches me with my excessive modesty. There can be no mistake. Sir Cha. What letter is this he chatters about? [TO HEARTLY. Heart. One written by me, and dictated by the young lady. Sir Cha. What! sent by her to him? Sir Cha. Well, but then-How the devilMrs. Lucy!-Eh!-What becomes of your fine story? Lucy. I don't understand it. Heart. [Hesitating.] Nor-IYoung Cla. But I do; and so you will all presently. Well, my dear uncle, what! are you astonished, petrified, annihilated? Sir Cha. With your impudence, Jack!-But I'll see it out. Enter MISS HARRIET. Miss Har. Bless me, Mr. Heartly! what is all this music for in the next room! Young Cla. I brought the gentlemen of the string, mademoiselle, to convince you, that I feel, as I ought, the honour you have done me [Showing the letter.] But, for Heaven's sake, be sincere a little with these good folks: They tell me here, that I am nobody, and there is another happier than myself; and, for the soul of me, I don't know how to believe them, ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. Let us hear miss speak. Miss Har. It is a most terrible task: but I am compelled to it; and to hesitate any longer would be injurious to my guardian, his friend, this young gentleman, and my own character. Young Cla. Most judicious, upon my soul. Miss Har. You have all been in an error. My bashfulness may have deceived you-My heart never did. Young Cla. C'est vrai. Miss Har. Therefore, before I declare my sentiments, it is proper that I disavow any engagement: But at the same time must confess Young Cla. Ho-ho!- Miss Har. With fear and shame confessYoung Cla. Courage, mademoiselle! Miss Har. That another, not you, sir, has gained a power over my heart. [To YOUNG CLACKIT. Sir Cha. Another, not you; mind that, Jack. Ha, ha! Miss Har. It is a power, indeed, which he despises. I cannot be deceived in his conduct. -Modesty may tie the tongue of our sex, but silence in him could proceed only from contempt. Sir Cha. How prettily she reproaches me!But I'll soon make it up with her. Miss Har. As to that letter, sir, your error there is excusable; and I own myself in that particular a little blameable. But it was not my fault that it was sent to you; and the contents must have told you, that it could not possibly be meant for you. [TO YOUNG CLACKIT. Sir Cha. Proof positive, Jack. Say no more. Now is my time to begin. Hem! hem!-Sweet young lady!—hem! whose charms are so mighty, so far transcending every thing that we read of in history or fable, how could you possibly think that my silence proceeded from contempt? Was it natural or prudent, think you, for a man of 1 sixty-five, nay, just entering into his sixty-sixth year Young Cla. O Misericorde! What, is my uncle my rival! Nay, then, I shall burst, by Jupiter! Ha, ha, ha! Miss Har. Don't imagine, sir, that, to me your age is any fault. Sir Cha. [Bowing.] You are very obliging, madam. Miss Har. Neither is it, sir, a merit of that extraordinary nature, that I should sacrifice to it an inclination which I have conceived for another. Sir Cha. How is this? Young Cla. Another! not you-mind that, uncle. Lucy. What is the meaning of all this? Young Cla. Proof positive, uncle—and very positive. Sir Cha. I have been led into a mistake, madam, which I hope you will excuse; and I have made myself very ridiculous, which I hope I shall forget: And so, madam, I am your humble servant.-This young lady has something very extraordinary about her! Heart. What I now see, and the remembrance of what is past, force me to break silence. Young Cla. Ay, now for it. Hear him, hear him! Heart. O my Harriet! I, too, must be disgraced in my turn. Can you think, that I have seen and conversed with you unmoved? Indeed I have not. The more I was sensible of your merit, the stronger were my motives to stifle the ambition of my heart. But now I can no longer resist the violence of my passion, which casts me at your feet, the most unworthy, indeed, of all your admirers, but of all the most affectionate. Young Cla. So, so! the moon has changed, and the grown gentlemen begin to be frisky! Lucy. What, my master in love, too! I'll never trust these tye-wigs again. [Aside. Mis Har. I have refused my hand to Sir Charles and this young gentleman: The one accuses me of caprice, the other of singularity. Should I refuse my hand a third time [Smiling.] I might draw upon myself a more severe reproach; and therefore I accept your favour, sir, and will endeavour to deserve it. Heart. And thus I seal my acknowledgments, and from henceforth devote my every thought, and all my services, to the author of my happiness. [Kisses her hand. Sir Cha. Well, my dear discreet nephew, are you satisfied with the fool's part you have given me, and played yourself, in the farce? Young Cla. What would you have me say, sir? I am too much a philosopher to fret myself, because the wind, which was east this morning, is now west. The poor girl, in pique, has killed herself, to be revenged on me; but, hark ye, sir, I believe Heartly will be cursed mad to have me live in his neighbourhood.A word to the wise |