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Jen. And taste too, madam.
Mar. O, yes, sir, and the affair is quite over, Nancy. And impudence, I'm sure!
Stock. Ay, already! Mar. [Singing to Mrs. STOCKWELL.]' With Mar. The wrong box, I'm afraid ! [Aside. a shape, and a face, and an air, and a grace! Stock. And I hope you have got your cause? Ha, ha !-Just, just as our old gentleman told Mar. With costs of suit, I assureyou, sir. me. There you'll see madam Stockwell, says he, Stock. I am extremely glad of it. i the agreeable still; take care of your heart, boy; Mrs. Stock. Thank heaven 'tis so well over! she's a dangerous beauty, though her daughter Mar. Oh, the family had the law-suitro much may be by.
at heart, the lawyers should have had every farMrs. Stock. O fie, fie, fie!
thing we were worth in the world, befus we'd Mar. I but repeat my father's words, madam, have been cast. confirmed by my own observation. Ab, boy, Stock. Um! that would have been carving says he, I wish with all my heart, that my dear it a little too far ; but as it was, it cost hit a friend Mr. Stockwell was dead! I'd marry her pretty penny, ha?
Mar. That it did, sir: but justice ! Oh, ju. Stock. I'm much obliged to him, faith! tice, sir, is so fine a thing, we cannot pay too Mrs. Stock. And so am I, I am sure, sir. dear for it. Mar. I but repeat my father's words, sir. Stock. Very true; but exclusive of the ex
Mrs. Stock. My esteem for your father, sir, is pence, this has been a troublesome affair to my mutual, and I am heartily sorry we could not friend. have the pleasure of his company.
Mar. You can have no idea of it, sir--espeMar. Oh! madam, he was damned mad that cially with such a tricking son of a whore, as he he could not be at the wedding. He had flatter- had to do with. ed himself these two months with the hopes of Stock. Son of a whore? He told me his andancing a minuet with Mrs. Stockwell.
tagonist was a lady! Slip. Two months. Whew !-and 'uis but six Mar. I though I was in the wrong box. weeks he has known her! he'll knock us all up. [Aside.] A lady call you her? Yes, yes, a tine If I don't interfere-[Aside.)-Sir, sir Harry lady! but she had got an old pettifogging rascal begs you'll hasten the ceremonials, that he may for her attorney, and be it was he that was have the pleasure of his daughter's company as such a plague to our old gentleman.--But damn soon as possible.
this cause, let us call another---I'm for nothing Stock. Well
, well, every thing is signed and now but flames, darts, daggers, Cupids and Vee sealed; nothing remains, that I know of, but to nusses, and madam Stockwell, and Miss finish the affair at once, and pay you my daugh- Nancy
[Bowing to them. ter's portion.
Mrs. Stock. The pink of complaisance ! Mar. *Pay you my daughter's portion ! Nancy. The fellow's a fool, and I'll dic before that's all, sir; come along, sir, I wait on you to I'll have him.
(A side. your closet-Slip, go with my civilities to the Stock. Well said, son-in-law! a spirited marquis of—[Aloud.] go this moment, you dog, fellow, faith! Come, we'll in and see things and secure us horses, and let them be bridled ready. and saddled, and ready at a minute's warning, Alar. Shan't I wait upon you to your closet (Softly.]—and don't forget my compliments to first, sir? the marchioness.
(Aloud. Síock. As soon as the ceremony's over, son, Slip. I fiy, sir! ladies, your most obedient. -Come, Fill shew you the way.
[Erit SLIP. Mar. Eh! If I could but have touched bce Mar. Come along, sir, to your closet. fore-hand, I'd have wav'd the ceremony.
Stock. Stay, son, stay !--to return to the old | Aside.—Madam, (To Mrs. STOCKWELL.) may gentleman.
I hope for the honour! Mar. Oh, sir, we'll return to him when the
[Offering to lead her out. portion's paid.
Mrs. Stock. Oh, sweet sir : -Daughter, you'll Stock. No, no; first satisfy my curiosity have a pretty fellow for your husband. [ Aside about this unlucky law-suit of his.
[Ereunt. Mar. O lud ! Slip not here now! Aside. Nancy. There's a lover for you, Jenny!
Stock, You seem disturbed, son-in-law, has Jenny. Not for me, madam, I assure you. any things
What, snap at the old kite, wben such a tender Mar, Eh! pox o'this question. [Aside.] I have chick is before him! such a memory!-(Puts his hand to his fore Nancy. Not a civil word to his mistress, but kead.] as much forgot to send Slip to the duke quite gallant to her mother. of—as if I had no manner of acquaintance with Jen. As much as to say a fig for you! I'm in him. I'll call him back; Slip!
fortune. Stock. He'll be back again presently-but, Nancy. A fig for him; a conceited puppy!
I'm in love with Belford; but how to get at Mar. He should have told me of this damned him, Jenny. law-suit.
[ Aside. Jen. Ah! poor bird! you're limed by the Stock, Has it been brought a hearing? wing, and struggling will but make it worse.
Nancy. Not struggle! Ruin is better than that's a good young lady-Well, I am at prethis coxcomb ! Fr’ythee, advise me.
sent much given to mischief. So, if you'll go Jen. Don't tempt me...I pity you so, that I into your chamber, lock the door, and let us could give yot a sprightly piece of advice! and lay our little heads together for half an hour, if you are in so desperate a way, that I know we don't counterplot your wise papa, and his you'd follow it.
intended son-in-law-we deserve ncver to be Nancy.
Follow it! -I'll follow any advice, married, or, if we are, to be governed by our Jenny.
Exeunt. Jen. 0, yes, to follow your own inclinations;
SCENE I.-A hall in STOCKWELL's house. Bel. He shall take my life first.
Jen. You said that before ! bave you nothing Enter BELFORD.
else to say?
Bel. I say, that this Harlowe, my friend, was Bel. I am surprised, that Martin has not re-married last week in the country, that's all. turned to tell me his success with Jenny-He Jen. And that's enough, if it is true; but I advised me not to stir from home, and said I have a small addition to your news. might be assured every thing goes well, and I Bel. What's that? should hear from him-But still the impatience Jen. That the aforesaid Joho Harlowe, Esg; of my heart cannot bear this delay—I must be your particular friend, and son to sir Harry Harnear the field of battle, let what will be the con- lowe, of Dorsetshire, is now within, waiting for sequence; I hope I shall get a sight of Martin, my young lady's hand ; that's all. and not unluckily light on the old gentleman : Bel. Jenny, no jesting, you distract me! 'sdeath be's here !0, no, 'tis Jeuny; my heart Jen. 'Tis but too true; he's this minute gone was in my mouth.
in with my master and mistress to settle preli
minaries, Enter JÆNNY.
Bel. Impossible ! he's my intimate acquaintDear Jenny, where's your mistress?
ance, and wrote to me not a week ago, as I tell Jen. Winding herself up for your sake, and, you.' I have his letter at my lodgings. hy my advice, to a proper pitch of disoherience, Jen. And what
says he there? that's all--but
Bel. That's he's privately married to a lady Bel. But what? You hesitate, Jenny, and of condition. seein concerned !
Jen. How can this be reconciled ? Go fetch Jen. Concerned! why, we're undone, that's that letter, we have no time to lose. all. Your rival is come to town.
Bel. But what is Martin doing? Bel. How !
Jen. Martin, who's he? Jen. And is this morning to marry madam. Bel. Martin, my servant, whom I sent to as
Bel. Not while I'ın alive, I can tell him sist you. that. But, pr’ythee, who is this happy rival of Jen. Why, sure love has turned your brain, mine?
sir-I have seen no Martin, not I! Jen. 'Tis one Mr. Harlowe.
Bel. The rascal, then, is run away from me Bel. Harlowe?
again. I bave spoiled him by my indulgence. Jen. A gentleman of Dorsetsbire.
He left me for a month, and returned but yesBel. I know all of that country, and can re-terday; then I sent him hither to assist you, and collect no Harlowe, but the son of Sir Harry now the scoundrel has left me again. Harlowe, and he
Jen. "Tis the luxury of the times, sir; though Jen. Ay, and he is your rival.
we are poor we have good tastes, and can be out Bel. If I had no more to fear from your mis- of the way now and then, as well as our betters. tress, than from my rival, as you call him. Bel. How this villain bas used me! But wé
Jen. Oh, you are very clever now, an't you? must lose no time; I'll fetch the letter, and be What would you be at now?
back in an instant,
(Erit, Bel. The truth only? the real, certain truth, Jen, Let me see-can't I strike some miscbief Jen. Ay, wbat's that?
out of this intelligence! I warrant me Bel. Why, that this Harlowe is the son of Sir I can delay the marriage at least, Here's Harry Harlowe of Dorsetshire, and my friend, my master; I'll try my skill upon him. If my particular friend.
I don't quite bring him about, I'll set his brains *Jen. Yes, and so particular, that he will take in such a ferment, they shan't settle in haste your mistress from you,
the hearts of thirty families at ease all round Enter STOCKWELL.
Stock. Odd! a terrible mao, I profess, I don't Stock. I think I saw a glimpse of young Bel- wonder now that one wife can't serve him. ford, but now-what business has he here? Slip. Wife, sir ! what wife, sir?
Jen. Business enough, sir; the best friend Stock. You see I know all, my friend ; so you you have, that's all. He has been telling me a may as well confess. piece of news that will surprise you.
Slip. Confess: what, sir? Stock. Let's hear this piece of news!
Stock. I know all the conspiracy; and will Jen. O' my word, a bold man, this Mr. Har- take care that you, rascal, shall have your desert lowe, to take two wives at once, when most as an accomplice. folk we see have enough of one !
Stock. Two wives ! bless us, what do you racy ? - Let me die if I comprehend a word youmean?
Jen. Why, the poor man's married already Stock. But I'll make you, villain! sir, that's all.
Slip. () very well, sir-ha, ha, ha !- I protest Stock. Married !
you half frightened me - Very well, indeed ! Jen. Married, I say, to a young lady in the Ha, ha, ha! country, and very near marrying another in Stock, Do you laugh at me, sirrah ! town-a new fashion, I suppose.
Slip. If I had not remembered to have heard Stock. Pooh, pooh! the thing's impossible, I my old master say, what a dry joker you were,
I protest I should have been taken in. . Very Jen. That may be, but so it is. He has writ good, indeed, ha, ha, ha! to Belford, who is his friend.
Stock. None of your buffoonery, sirrah; but Stock. All romance and invention !
confess the whole affair this minute, or be sent Jen. All truth, I say; Belford is gone to fetch to Newgate the next. the letter, and be'll convince you.
Slip. Newgate ! sure, sir, that would be car. Stock. I will never be convinced that rying the joke too far, Jen. Why not, sir? the young fellows of this Stock. You won't confess, then?
-Who waits age are capable of any thing.
there? Send for a constable this moment: Stock. Very true, Jenny; they are abomin Slip: Nay, good sir, no noise, I beseech you. able !
Though I am innocent as the child unborn, yet Jen. And, for aught we know, this Mr. Har- that severe tone of voice is apt to disconcert one. lowe here may be one of those gentlemen, that what was it your honour was pleased to bint make no scruple of a plurality of wives, provided about my master's being married'? Who could they bring a plurality of portions. But by your possibly invent such a fib as that? leave, good sir, as this young lady, (she in the Stock. No fib, sirrah! he wrote it himself to country, I mean) bas the first and best title, we a friend of his at London-to Belford. must look a little about us for the sake of our Slip. Oh, oh! your humble servant, Mr. Belə young lady in town,
ford! a fine fetch, i'faith! nay, I can't blame the Słoek. Very true--'tis worth attending to. man neither, ba, ha! Pray, sir, is not this same
Jen. Attending to! if I were you, sir, before | Mr. Belford in love with your daughter ?. I delivered up my daugliter, I should insist opou Stock. Suppose he is, puppy! and what the atfair's being cleared up to my satisfaction. then?
Stock. You're in the right, Jenny; here's his Stock. Why then, Jenny is his friend, and at man: I'll souod him about his master's mar- the bottom of all his fetches; I'll lay a wager riage, and then-leave us together-Go-I'll that she is author of this whopper. make him speak, I warrant you!
Stock. Um! Jen. If this marriage is but confirmed, I shall Slip. Our arrival put them to their trumpsleap out of my skin.
(Exit. and then-Slap, my poor master must be mar
ried ; and Belford must shew a forged letter, Enter Slip.
forsooth, under his own hand, to prove it-and, Stock. Mr. Slip, come hither. My old friend and, and, you understand me, sir Sir Harry has reconımended you to me, and I Stock. Why, this has a face. like your physiognomy: you have an houest Slip. A face ! ay, like a full moon; and while face: it pleases me much.
you're upon a false scent after this story, Jenny Slip. Your humble servant, sir, That's your will gain time to work upon your daughter. I goodness ; but if I was no honester than my heard her say myself that she could lead you by face, gad a mercy upon pour me !
Stock. Well, well-lark you me! this master Stock. Oh, she could, could she? Well, well, of yours is a lad of spirit-a favourite of the la- | we'll see that. dies, I warrant him, ha?
Slip, By the by, sir, where did you meet with Slip. That he is, I can tell you, sir; a pretty this Mrs. Jenny fellow; no woman can resist him. I'll war Stock. How should I know ! I believe my wife rant, this inarriage in your family, will set you I hired her half a year ago out of the country.
She had a good character and is very notable, scores, and that his creditors had stopped pro-but pert, very pert!
ceedings till he's married. Slip. Yes, yes, she is notable-Out of the Stock. Ay, ay! there let them stop. Ha, ha, country! and a good character! well said, Mrs. ha! they'll be tired of stopping, I believe, if they Jenny!
[Half uside. are to stop till hc has married my daughter, ha, Stock. What's the matter, Slip? You have ha, ha! something in your head, I'm sure.
Slip. He's no fool, let me tell you, this Mr. Slip. No, nothing at all—but the luck of some Belford. people !-out of the country!
Stock. No; nor Mr. Stockwell neither; and Stock. You must tell me. I shan't think you to convince them of that, I will go this instant to mcan me well, if you conceal any thing from me. my banker's, and
Slip. Why, among ourselves, sir-I knew Mrs. Mar. Sir, I'll wait on you. Jenny the last year very well. --born and bred in Stock. Stay, son-in-law; I have a proposal to Covent Garden. Some time ago bar-maid to a make-I own, I agreed 'with my old friend to jelly-house, and two children, (very fine ones in- give you 10,0001, down. deed) by little Tom the waiter. Iknew, when I Mar. Ay, down was the word, sir—it was so saw her bere, that we should have some sport. -down.
Stock. Ay, ay! I know enough; well said, Stock. Now, could you conveniently take Mrs. Jenny, indeed! But mind the cunning of some houses, that I have in the borough, instead this fellow, this Belford—be says he's the most of half that sum? They are worth a great deal intimate friend your master has !
more than that, I assure you. Slip. Ay, sir? ha, ha, ha! and I dare say my Mar. O dear sir, your word is not to be dismaster would not know him if he met him puted : I'll take any thing—but, between however, that's well observed, sir; um ! nothing friends, ready money is the truth. Down, you escapes you,
know, sir; that was the word, down. Stock. Why, I am seldom out, seldom
Slip. Species, your honour knows, is of easier Slip. Never.
conveyance. Stock. I don't say never; but here is your Stock. Yes, sure, that's true; but master. 'I must have a laugh with him about Mar. Ay, ay; one can't put houses in one's his marriage; ba, ha, ha!
portmanteau, you know-he, he, he! Besides, Slip. 'Twill be rare sport for him, he, he, be! there is a pretty estate to be sold in Dorsetshire,
near my father's, and I have my eye upon
that. Enter MARTIN.
Slip. As pretty a conditional thing, as any in Stock. So, son-in-law ! Do you hear what the the country; and then so contagious, that a world say of you! I have had intelligence here, hedge only parts them. (ay, and certain intelligence too) that you are Mar. I may have it for 90001., and I'mn told married, it seems—privately married, to a young 'tis worth ten åt least. lady of Dorsetshire. What say you, sir? Is not Slip. The least pevny, sir: the timber's worth this fine? Ha, ha, ha!
half the money. Slip. Very merry, faith!
Stock. Well, well ; look you, son, I have a (Laughing, and making signs to Mar. round 10,0001. now in my banker's hands, which Mar. Ha, ha, ha! 'tis such a joke! What, you I thought to have made inmediate advantage of. have heard so? This Mr. World is a facetious You shall bave a moiety of it. gentleman !
Mur. Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you. Are Stock. Another man, now, would have given you going to your banker's now, sir? plumb into this foolish story, but I«No, no; Stock. I will but step and let my wife know of your humble servant for that.
it; fetch the cash directly: and you shall marry Slip. No, plague! Mr. Stockwell has a long my daughter in an hour. head! He
[Pointing still. Mar. Sir, suppose we invite Mr. Belford to Mar. I would fain know who could be the the wedding? Ha, ha, ha! author of such a ridiculous story?
Slip. Ha, ha, ha! What a droll devil my mas. Slip. Mr. Stockwell tells me, 'tis one Belford, ter is ! I think he calls him ; is not that his name, sir? Stock. Ha, ha, ha!
[Erit STOCK. Mar. Belford! Belford! I never heard of Mar. Wind and tide, my boy! My master has his name in my life.
certainly had an interview with Miss Nancy Slip. As I said, sir; yon see master knows Stockwell? nothing of this fellow. Stay, stay; is it not the Slip. And as certainly knows Harlowe, too. youngest that-you know whom I mean? that, Mar They correspond, you see? that
Slip. But, thanks to my wit, I have so set the Mar. Rot me, if I do!
old man against Belford, that I am in hopes we Slip. He that you must know him-that is shall pack up madam's fortune in the portianyour rival here, as the report goes ?
teau, before he's set to rights again; and Mar. O ay! now I recollect, By the same
Mar. going, stops. token, they said he had but little, and owed Mar. Zounds! my master! much. That this match was to wipe off old Slip. Where?
Mar. Don't you see him reading a letter? Bel, Good Heavens! How have I been de
Slip. This is my unlucky star! What will beceived ! come of us?
Mar. You have indeed, master ; but we have Enter BELFORD.
no time for reflections. If Jenny should see Bel. This letter gets me admittance to Miss you, we are undone. Stockwell at least; and if I can but save her
Bel. Well, well. I go. I'll make both
your from ruin, I shall be happy; but I hope this
fortunes, if you succeed.
Mar. Succeed! nothing can prevent us, but may have better consequences. Ha! What's this! 'Tis he! 'Tis Martin, as I live!
your being seen. Mar. Ay, 'ris I: and well for you it is. What
Bel. I'll away, then, do you here?
Mar. And come not near this house to-day. Bel. Nay, what are you doing here, and what
If you do, I must decamp. have you done here? What clothes are these ?
Bel. Well; but my dear lads, take care ! I What's your scheme? And why have I not
depend on you. known it?
Slip. That's all you have to do do; put your
fortune into our hands. Mar. Not so fast and so loud, good master of mine-walls have ears. These are your rival's
Mar. And I'll warrant we give a good account
of it. clothes, who is to follow them in a few days: but
Bel. Think how my happinesshis servant, there, is an old friend of mine, and
Mar. Pr’ythee, no more. so, as they fit me so well-he's I pass upon the
Bel. Depends on you. family for the young fellow himself. Bel. Well, and where's the joke of that?
Mur. Begone, I say, or I'll throw up the
cards! Mar. A very good joke, I think. I'll under
[Erit BEL. take to put these two old fools (your papa and
Slip. At last he's gone!
Mar. And we have time to take a little mamma that shall be) so out of conceit with their breath; for this was a hot alarm, faith! son-in-law, that—why, already I have heard the old folks agreeing, that you were much the pro- Jenny, would have surprised us together.
Slip. I was only afraid the old gentleman, or perer match for their daughter; so that I ex
Mar. That would have been a clincher! but pect every moment they'll send for you to deliver them from me: and nothing can prevent our
now I must after the old gentleman for the success, but your being
[Erit. Bel. Ha, lia, ha ! a very good stratagem : but
Slip. And I'll be upon the watch, for fear of there is no need of it now; for this rival, as you
[Erit, call him, is my particular friend, and married to SCENE II.- An apartment in STOCKWELL'S another woman: so I tell you we have nothing
house. to fear,
Enter STOCKWELL and JENNY. Mar. But I tell you, you will knock us all to pieces. The finest plot that ever was laid, and
Jen. Still I
sir you'll spoil it in the batching.
Stock. And still I
madamBel. But what occasion is there? He can't
Jen. That Mr. Belford's a very honest gentlemarty them both,
man, and you ought to search it. Mar. Speak lower! You think yourself mighty
Stock. I tell you, I have searched, and probed wise now but here's Harlowe's servant, whom I it to the quick-and that he shall feel. I know have tickled in the palm, will tell you another well enouglı, you are in his interest, and have story.
your interest in so doing; and I am sorry you Bel
. Why, bere's a letter under his own hand. could find no prettier plot than this to defer the Read it.
Jen. Lud, sir, do you believeMar. [Reading.Um, um ! Some days pri
Stock. No; but I'm sure on't, that's better. Sately married-Slip
[Aside to Slip.
Jen. Lud! you'd make one mad. Slip. This is easily cleared up, sir ! There was Stock. And you'd make me a fool, if you such a thing proposed by my young master; but could. No, no; I'm an ass, a poor simpleton, you must understand, sir, that Mr. Harlowe, not that may be led by the nose! but you may tell approving of the terms, has tipped the young my daughter, that she shall marry Harlowe this woman's father a good round sum, and so the night. And you may tell your friend, Belford, to affair is made up.
let bis creditors know that they need not stop Bel. Can it be possible that he is not married ! proceedings. And you, madam, may return to Slip. I'll take my oath of it before any magis- your jelly-shop, and give my compliments to littrate in England.
tle Tom, and all the little family, ha, ha, ha!. Mar. Pooh.! married !
[Erit STOCK. Bel. Well, I'll decamp, then :, but why is not Jen. What does he mean by the jelly-houseJenny in your plot ?
little Tom—and all the little family? There's Mar. She ! no, no; she is not to be trusted. something at the bottom of this, I cannot yet I
soon found out that. Tooth and nail against fathom: but I will fathom it. I was never.out. is
Tof a secret yet, that I had a mind to find out