« PreviousContinue »
been tainted, but not profligate- your kind- / my heart does not approve, and coquetting with ness and example may restore me to my former another, which friendship, duty, honour, morals, natural English constitution.
and every thing, but fashion, ought to have forSir John. Will you resign your lady to me, my bidden. lord, for a time?
Sir John. Thus, then, with the wife of one unLord Min. For ever, dear Sir John, without a der this arm, and the mistress of another under
this, I sally forth a knight errant, to rescue disSir Jolin. Well, miss, and what say you? tressed damsels from those monsters, foreign Miss Tit. Guilty, uncle. [Curtseying. vices, and Bon Ton, as they call it; and I trust
Sir John. Guilty! the devil you are? of that every English hand and heart here will aswhat?
sist me in so desperate an undertaking. You'll Miss Tit. Of consenting to marry one, whom I excuse me, sirs !
SCENE 1.-An Apartment in FREEMAN'S an honest fellow; and I will swear for my blacks. House.
-If there is a rogue among my folks, it is that
surly dog Tom. Enter FREEMAN and LOVEL.
Free. You are mistaken in every one. Philip
is an hypocritical rascal; Tom has a good deal Free. A country boy! ha, ha, ha !-How of surly bonesty about him; and for your blacks, long has this scheme been in your head? they are as bad as your whites.
Lod. Some time. I am now convinced, Lov. Prythee, Freeman, how came you to be of what you have often been hinting to me, that so well acquainted with my people ? None of the I am confoundedly cheated by my servants. wenches are handsome enough to move the af
Free. Oh, are you satisfied at last, Mr. Lovel? | fections of a middle-aged gentleman as you are I always told you, that there is not a worse set-ha, ha. ha! of servants in the parish of St. James's, than in Free. You are a young man, Mr. Lovel, and your kitchen.
take a pride in a number of idle unnecessary serLov. Tis with some difficulty I believe it now, vants, who are the plague and reproach of this Mr. Freeman; though, I must own, my expences kingdom. often make me stare.- -Philip, I am sure, is Loo. Charles, you are an old-fashioned fellow, Servants a plague and reproach! ha, ha, ha!!!!--Odd and honest! Well—and now, what are would have forty more, if my house would hold the steps you intend to take. them. Why, man, in Jamaica, before I was ten
[Returns the letter. years old, I had a hundred blacks kissing my feet Lov. I shall immediately apply to my friend every day.
the manager for a disguise. -Under the form of Free. You gentry of the Western Isles are a gawky country boy, I will be an eye-witness of high-mettled ones, and love pomp and parade.- my servants' behaviour. You must assist me, I have seen it delight your soul, when the people Mr. Freeman. in the street have stared at your equipage; Free. As how, Mr. Lovel? especially if they whispered loud enough to be Lov. My plan is this--I gave it out that I heard, That is Squire Lovel, the great West In- was going to my borough in Devonshire; and dian--ha, ha, ha!
yesterday set out with my servant in great form, Lov. I should be very sorry if we were as and lay at Basingstoke. splenetic as you northern islanders, who are de- Free. Well? voured with melancholy and fog—ha, ha, ha! Lov. I ordered the fellow to make the best No, sir, we are children of the sun, and are born of his way down into the country, and told him to diffuse the bounteous favour which our noble that I would follow him; instead of that, I turnparent is pleased to bestow upon us.
ed back, and am just come to town: Ecce Free. I wish you had more of your noble signum !
[Points to his boots. parent's regularity, and less of his fire. As it is, Free. It is now one o'clock. you consume so fast, that not one in twenty of Lov. This very afternoon I shall pay my peoyou live to be fifty years old.
ple a visit. Loo. But in that fifty we live two hundred, Free. How will you get in? my dear; mark that- -But to business-I am Lov. When I am properly habited, you
shall resolved upon my frolic-I will know whether get me introduced to Philip, as one of your my servants are rogues or not. If they are, r'll tenant's sons, who wants to be made a good serbastinado the rascals; if not, I think I ought to vant of. pay for my impertinance.- -Pray tell me, Free. They will certainly discover you. is not your Robert acquainted with my people? Lov. Never fear; I'll be so countrified, that Perhaps he may give a little light into the you shall not know me.--- -As they are thing.
thoroughly persuaded I am many miles off, Free. To tell you the truth, Mr. Lovel, your they'll be more easily imposed on. Ten to one, servants are so abandoned, that I have forbid but they begin to celebrate my departure with a him your house. However, if you have a drinking bout, if they are what
describe mind to ask hiin any question, he shall be forth- themcoming.
Free. Shall you be able to play your part? Lov. Let us have bim.
Loo. I am surprized, Mr. Freeman, that you, Free. You shall; but it is an hundred to one who have known me from my infancy, should if you get any thing out of him; for though he not remember my abilities in that way. But you is a very honest fellow, yet he is so inuch of a old fellows have short memories. servant, that he'll never tell any thing to the dis- Free. What should I remember? advantage of another.Who waits ?
Lov. How I played Daniel in the Conscious
Lovers at school, and afterwards arrived at the Enter Seroant.
distinguished character of the mighty Mr. ScrubSend Robert lo me. [Exit Servant.] –And what
[ Mimicking: was it determined you upon this project at Free. Ha, ha, ha! that is very well—Enough last?
Here is Robert. Loo. This letter. It is an anonymous one, and so ought not to be regarded; but it has
Enter ROBERT. something honest in it, and put me upon satisfying my curiosity. Read it." [Gires the letter. Rob. Your honour ordered me to wait ou Free. I should know something of this hand-you.
[Reads. Free. I did, Robert. Robert !
Rob. Sir? * To Peregrine Lovel, Esq.
Free. Come here. You know, Robert, I have Please your honour,
a good opinion of your integrity. "I take the liberty to acquaint your honour, that
Rob. I have always endeavoured that your you are sadly cheated by your servants.— Your honour should. honour will find as I suy-I am not willing
Free. Pray have not you some acquaintance to be known; whereof, if I am, it may bring one among Mr. Lovel's people? into trouble.
Rob. A little, please your honour.
Free. How do they behave?-We have 10, from your honour's
body but friends--you may speak out. • Servant to command.' Lov. Ay, Robert, speak out.
So no more,
Rob. I hope your honours will not insist on Rob. I will, your honour.
[Erit. my saying any thing in an affair of this kind ? Free. Well, sir, are you convinced now?
Loc. Oh, but we do insist, if you know any Lor. Convinced ? Yes; and I'll be among the thing
scoundrels before night. You or Robert must Rob. Sir, I am but a servant myself: and it contrive some way or other to get me introduced would not become me to speak ill of a brother- to Philip, as one of your cottager's boys out of servant.
Essex. Free. Psha! this is false honesty!-speak Free. Ha, ha, ha! you'll make a fine figure. out.
Lor. They shall make a fine figure. It must Rob. Don't oblige me, good sir. Consider, be done this afternoon : walk with me across the sir, a servant's bread depends upon his cu- Park, and I'll tell you the whole. My name rackter.
shall be Jemmy; and I am come to be a gentleLoo. But if a servant uses me ill
man's servant--and will do my best, and hope Rob. Alas, sir! what is one man's poison, is to get a good caruckter. [ Mimicking. another man's meat.
Free. But what will you do if you find them Free. You see how they trim for one an- rascals? other!
Lov. Discover myself, and blow them all to Rob. Service, sir, is no inheritance. A ser- the devil! Come along. vant that is not approved in one place, may give Free. Ha, ha, ha! Bravo! Jemmy! Bravo! satisfaction in another. Every body must live, ha, ha!
[Ereunt. your honour.
Loo. I like your heartiness as well as your caution; but, in my case, it is necessary that I
SCENE II.-The Park. should know the truth. Rob. The truth, sir, is not to be spoken at all
Enter Duke's Servant. times; it may bring one into trouble; whereof if
What wretches are ordinary servants, that go on Free. (Musing.) Whereof if-Pray, Mr. in the same vulgar track every day! eating, Lovel, let me see that letter again. [Lovel gites working, and sleeping!-But we, who have the the letter.)- Aye-it must be so; Ro- honour to serve the nobility, are of another spebert
cies. We are above the common forms, have Rob. Sir?
servants to wait upon us, and are as lazy and Free. Do you know any thing of this letter? luxurious as our masters- -Ha! my dear Sir Rob. Letter, your honour?
Enter Sir HARRY'S Sercant.
How have you done these thousand years ? Free. I ask you, if you were concerned in Sir Har. My lord Duke!-your grace's most writing this letter? You never told me a lie yet, obedient servant. and I expect the truth from you now.
Duke. Well, baronet, and where have you Rob. Pray, your honour, don't ask me. been? Free. Did you write it? Answer me.
Sir Har. At Newmarket, my lord. We have Rob. I cannot deny it.
[Bowing, had devilish fine sport! Lov. What induced you to it?
Duke. And a good appearance, I hear-Pox Rob. I will tell truth-I have seen such waste take it, I should have been there; but our old and extravagance, and riot and drunkenness, in duchess died, and we were obliged to keep house your kitchen, sir, that, as my master's friend, Ifor the decency of the thing. could not help discovering it to you.
Sir Har. I picked up fifteen pieces. Lov. Go on,
Duke. Psha ! a trifle ! Rob. I am sorry to say it to your honour, but Sir Har. The viscount's people have been your honour is not only imposed on, but laughed bloodily taken in this meeting. at by all your servants, especially by Philip, who Duke. Credit me, baronet, they know nothing is a-very bad man.
of the turf. Loo. Philip! an ungrateful dog! Well? Sir Har. I assure you, my lord, they lost every
Rob. I could not presume to speak to your match ; for Crab was beat hollow, Careless honour; and therefore I resolved, though but a threw his rider, and Miss Slammerkin had the poor scribe, to write your honour a letter.
distemper, Luo. Robert, I am greatly indebted to you. Duke. Ha, ha, ha! I'm glad on't-Taste this Here[Offers money. snuff, Sir Harry.
[Offers his bo.z. Rob. On any other account than this, I should
Sir Hur. 'Tis good rapee. be proud to receive your honour's bounty; but Duke. Right Strasburg, I assure you; and of now I beg to be excused.
my own importing. Loo Thou hast a noble heart, Robert, and I'll Sir Har. Aye! not forget you! Frecman, he must be in the se- Duke. The city people adulterate it so coneret. Wait your master's orders.
foundedly, that I always import my own snuff.
I wish my lord would do the same; but he is so Sir Har. Let us retire. [They retire. indolent When did you see the girls? I saw Lady Bab this morning; but, 'fore Gad, whether
Enter Lady BAB's Maid, and LADY CHARit be love or reading, she looked as pale as a pe
LOTTE's Maid. nitent,
Lady Bab. Oh fie, Lady Charlotte ! you are Sir Har. I have just had this çard from Lov- quite indelicate ; I am sorry for your taste, el's people.
[Reads. Lady Char. Well, I say it again, I love Vaux
hall. • Philip and Mrs. Kitty present their com- Lady Bab. O my stars! Why, there is nobody pliments to Sir Harry, and desire the honour of there but filthy citizens. his company this evening, to be of a smart party, Lady Char. We were in hopes the raising the and eat a bit of supper.'
price would have kept them out, ha, ha, ha! Lady Bab. Ha, ha, ha!
--Runelow for my Duke. I have the same invitation. Their ma-money. ster, it seems, is gone to his borough.
Lady Char. Now you talk of Runelow, when Sir Har. You'll be with us, my lord ?--Philip's did you see the Colonel, Lady Bab? a blood.
Lady Bab. The Colonel! I hate the fellowDuke. A buck of the first head! I'll tell you ( He had the assurance to talk of a creature in á secret; he's going to be married.
Gloucestershire, before my face. Sir Har. To whom?
Lady Char. He is a pretty man for all that, Duke. To Kitty.
Soldiers, you know, have their mistresses every Sir Har. No!
where. Duke. Yes, le is; and I intend to cuckold Lady Bab. I despise him ! How goes on your him.
affair with the baronet? Sir Har. Then we may depend upon your Lady Char. The baronet is a stupid wretch, grace for certain. Ha, ha, ha!
and I shall have nothing to say to him. You are Duke. If oor house breaks up in a tolerable to be at Lovel's to-night, Lady Bab? time, I'll be with you—--Have you any thing Lady Bub. Unless I alter my mind—I don't for us?
admire visiting these commouers, Lady Char. Sir Har. Yes, a little bit of poetry. I must lotte. be at the Cocoa-tree myself till eight.
Lady Char. Oh, but Mrs. Kitty has taste. Duke. Heigh, ho! I am quite out of spirits- Lady Bab. She affects it. I had a damned debauch last night, baronet- Lady Char. The duke is fond of her, and he Lord Francis, Bob the bishop, and I, tipt off four has judgment. bottles of Burgundy a-piece-Ha! there are two Lady Bab. The duke might shew his judgment fine girls coming ! Faith, Lady Bab! aye, and much better.
[Holding up her head. Lady Charlotte ! [Takes out his glass. Lady Char. There he is, and the baronet, too. Sir Har. We'll not join them.
Take no notice of them. We'll rally them by Duke. O yes; Bab is a fine wench, notwith- and by. standing her complexion: though I should be Lady Bub, Dull souls ! Let us set up a loud glad she would keep her teeth cleaner- -Your laugh, and leave them. English women are damned negligent about Lady Cha. Ay, let us begone; for the comtheir teeth- -Ilow is your Charlotte in that mon people do so stare at us--we shall certainly particular?
be mobbed. Sir Har. My Charlotte !
Both. Ha, ha, ha!-ha, ha, ha! [Erennt. Duke. Ay, the world says you are to have ber.
Duke and Str Harry come forward. Sir Har. I own I did keep her company; but Duke, They certainly saw us, and are gone off we are off, my lord.
laughing at us. I must follow. Duke. How so?
Sir Har. No, no. Sir Har. Between you and me, she has a Duke. I must, I must have a party of raillery plaguy thick pair of legs!
with them; a bon mot or so. Sir Harry, you'll Duke. Oh, damn it; that's insufferable !
excuse me, Adieu! I'll be with you in the evenSir Har. Besides, she's a fool, and missed her ing, if possible: though, hark ye! there is a bill opportunity with the old countess.
depending in our house, which the ministry make Duke. I am afraid, baronet, you love money. a point of our attending; and so, you know, Rot it, I never save a shilling ! Indeed I am sure mnum ! we must mind the stops of the great fidof a place in the excise- -Lady Charlotte is to dle.--Adieu !
[Erit Duke. be of the party to-night; how do you manage Sir Har. What a coxcomb this is ! and the that?
fellow can't read. It was but the other day that Sir Har. Why, we do meet at a third place; he was a cow-boy in the country; then was bound are very civil, and look queer, and laugh, and preutice to a periwig-maker, got into my lord abuse one another, and all that.
duke's family, and now sets up for a fine gentleDuke. A-la-mode, ha !-Here they are. man: 0 tempora, O mores!